While Chuck Norris' death is still relatively new I want to share that when Chuck Norris jokes were big, my friends and I had our own series of jokes about Steven Seagal, except the joke was that Steven was pathetic. Here are some examples.
-Steven Seagal can make an entire action movie, without standing up once.
-Steven Seagal's blood cures cancer. Too bad that it also causes heart disease.
-Under Steven Seagal's beard, is another chin.
-Steven Seagal can make onions cry, by showing them his movies.
-Steven Seagal had a staring contest with his reflection, they both tied.
-Steven Seagal doesn't do push-ups...
-Kids can pee their name into snow, Steven Seagal can pee his name into a failed drug test.
-Steven Seagal can move like lightning. Post production.