oh, the horrors!

it is becoming all too difficult to be human i'm 19.

[tellmeimreal]

tear my garters

[tellmeimreal]

there is a smile there, if you can believe it. it may even look nice here.

[probuccalfat]

a lot of ADHD behaviours and barriers feel like sims logic playing out in real time like i did my laundry but i had to pee and sleep so i stopped and i haven’t folded it yet except i can’t fold it yet because i need to eat but i can’t eat because the laundry basket is in front of the fridge. someone keeps queuing actions but they’re getting cancelled

[tellmeimreal]

spending an inexcusable amount of time lately explaining bits in arrested development in order to convince people who will never watch arrested development that they must watch arrested development

[throathole]

Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean

[moonlitmartyr]

I hate ruminating on what could have been. Out here thinking "if only I locked in when I was 13" are we serious

[swagophile]

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like "wait a minute.. that's joe biden!!" amd he was like "welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!" and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like "That was a close call, Mr President" and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice

[maykitz]

okay but why is he even called mr beast

[tellmeimreal]

i started reading a 'dark romance' book and was sorely disappointed.

it surrounds a woman who then becomes the object of desire for a, no i'm not joking, masked tik tok thirst trapper. he then begins the arduous process of lovingly stalking her, they flirt, they have sex, blah blah blah. all very above board.

now, excuse me for being a tad morally bankrupt in the gray matter, but that is not dark romance. there is no real fear, he has no tangible desire to hurt her in any way that would make a reader squirm, and she figures out his identity too quickly and too easily for there to ever be even a whisper of terror.

and maybe this book is for someone. unfortunately, when i pick up a self-proclaimed "dark" romance novel, i am looking for something more.

i am looking for our couple to be equally deranged and disturbed. i want a protagonist who picks her skin. i want her to be uncomfortable in her body and act in a way that makes others wary. i want her to be unkempt and spend an unhealthy amount of time indoors hunched over a computer.

her love interest is not a cookie cutter brooding, buff guy. no, i'd actually far prefer him to be wiry, glasses if i'm being picky. he is polite and accomplished and has done all he can to present himself as well adjusted.

he gets to his apartment and fantasizes about sinking his teeth into something soft and refusing to let go until he's cannibalized it whole.

i'd prefer it if she stalked him. if she left vulgar notes tucked under his windshield wipers, sometimes with photos of herself in compromising positions with blood highlighting her words.

she is disgusting and he is filthy. they both have every reason to be scared of each other, and they embrace it with open arms.

she bites his shoulder and latches until her mouth fills with blood. he leaves bruises on her wrists and thighs. she watches him through the window from the parking lot outside his apartment as she touches herself in her car. he jerks off in plain view to photographs he's taken of her without her even knowing.

i want them to be gross and awful and morally depraved and i want anyone outside of their unholy union to grow sick when they see them.

[tellmeimreal]

the self and the body are not one, and i am frequently shocked no one can see that from the outside.

she often feels like a piece of machinery i do not know how to operate. everyone else just sees a person.

weird.

[tellmeimreal]

ocd is very fun.

it's a condition in which your brain ensures that you cannot trust it, and by extension, yourself.

my head has never not been busy a day in my life, and most of that is ruminating on the choices i made, why i made them, and precisely why they were the incorrect ones to make. it traps you, like quicksand. slowly but surely immobilizing you.

even simple decisions become too big and too scary to handle on your own, and since you have no one to turn to and insist that they hand you instructions on what to have for lunch and when, you simply don't.

to defer to outside opinions when you have very few outside opinions to defer to is to ask for permission and direction from the void and crumble when you receive no answer.

being unable to make choices is a sure-fire way to stifle and suffocate the person you might be.

its all very. very fun.

[tellmeimreal]

i tried to self-love last night in observation of the holiday only to find in absolute horror that the cost of not mentally spiraling is, in fact, the inability to bring oneself to fulfillment.

i suppose it's one way to raise productivity. being a massive pervert is a difficult thing to schedule in between classes and homework.

[tellmeimreal]

there is something a bit nauseating about working a retail job. i frequently cower in the shadows of american consumerism, yet i stand behind a counter and assist the purchase of polyester and plastic for eight hours in between attempts at hawking a high interest credit card with all the effort that can be expected for 15.60 an hour.

i attend to people as they buy another two hundred dollars of soon to be degraded land fill fodder and try not to let the judgement show on my face, for what right do i have at all? i am just as bad as them.

but, lord, every time someone chirps that they just 'had to have it!' that they need yet another bag simply because there are more they do not have, each time someone shares their reasons for buying and buying more, i ache and suddenly the fluorescents seem too bright.

i do feel sorry. many days, most people are pleasant. i just feel sick.

[tellmeimreal]

i wish for a hand on my thigh and a body close to mine. and maybe a miami mint geekbar. is that too much to ask?

[tellmeimreal]

had myself a valentine's day.