nor are we forgiven ;

independent and selective roleplay blog for a dark thirteenth doctor; written (and loved) by shannon (eighteen / she/her / uk ).

[books-n-quotes]

Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.

Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild (via books-n-quotes)

[thesaltyspice-deactivated201901]

I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-Nazi ones, which is great, but I felt like we needed one to show our support for the Jewish community.  

[bipolar-bubbeleh]

all you goyim I follow - I see you reblogging this and it warms me.

[tenebristredecim-blog]

@americanparamedic || continued from here

“Usually it’s not so... blatant,” she points out, the ghost of the smirk on her lips not fading in the slightest, not least when his hand rests on her shoulder. She’s got a habit of seeing precisely how far she can push, and she’s curious to see whether it would indeed work on her, so she pretends to need to think about it. “Hmm. It’s just that those scientist types are really fun to hang around...”

[tenebristredecim-blog]

"You belong to me."

A smirk tugs at the edges of the blonde's mouth as she looks upon the Master, leaning back against the wall with a soft but short laugh. “Feeling possessive today, are we? You might have to try a little harder than that to convince me.” Theta can’t help but throw in a challenge, a dare, just to see how the other might respond to it.

[tenebristredecim-blog]

You belong to me.

Ah. There's the reaction she'd wanted. Though Missy’s fingers are wrapped tightly around her wrist, she smirks, and a single look tells her the one she’d been flirting with has turned tail and left. PERFECT. “Now there’s a few words I like to hear,” she purrs, gratified. “Believe me, I’ve NO illusions as to that, but you’re insanely sexy when you’re angry.”

[smutxmemes]

Send "You belong to me." to see how my muse reacts.

               requested by imaragequitter

[tenebristredecim-blog]

'well hello'

There's a coquettish little smile on the blonde's lips as she settles in Missy’s lap, but this false pretence quickly dissipates and is replaced by the frankly devilish smirk that should rightfully be there. 

She turns her head and plants a kiss on her lips, arms snaking around the other’s shoulders. “You really needn’t be so surprised,” Theta laughs, lowly, kissing her again. “I’m an incredibly attentive lover.” And a demanding one, too, but she isn’t about to say that, now is she?

[rpprompts]

send me 'well hello' and my muse will climb into your muse's lap

[simonsaysxsmile]

An Open Topic

[tenebristredecim-blog]

simonsaysxsmile:

He took a sip, wincing as bits of him alerted him to the fact that he just got thrown about. He set his glass down, “I take it that you grew bored and decided to take me up on my offer?”

"Yes, that would be an accurate assessment,” she answers with a slight grin, noticing the wince but opting not to comment on it. “It turns out that it doesn’t take very long for the novelties of this city to grow tedious.” Theta mulls over the glass of wine for a moment – she’s more of a cider sort, really, but she’ll take what she’s offered when it comes to alcohol. It’s one of the few good selling points of Earth.

[backongallifrey]

“it’s a vow that if i can’t be anything else to you, at least i can be a weapon in your hand.” (because this is too goddamn perfect for them)

He nodded at her, pulling her into his arms. “I don’t want you to have to fight for me, but I understand the things we’ve been through. You’ll always mean so much to me, Theta, I’ve used it against you far too many times.”

[tenebristredecim-blog]

“It feels like fighting is all I know how to do, now,” she admits, not resisting the embrace he pulls her into. He’d gotten her away from them, and now begins the difficult task of teaching her how to survive elsewhere, how to resist the ‘rules’ the Time Lords had made such a deep part of her, how to resist instinctive responses. “…How much about my real life can you tell me, Koschei? All I’ve got is what they gave me, which I’m guessing is one-hundred percent lies.”

[backongallifrey]

He’s hesitant, because he knows perfectly well that she will have a lot to hate him for that isn’t so easily forgiven by one selfish act. He hadn’t even helped her for her sake, but for his own, and he knew it. He turned and glared at her, pacing as he spoke.

“We were friends once,” he told the Doctor. “You were one of the only people I trusted, but you left. You left me behind and I still resent you for it,” he adds in a clipped tone. He’d known she was going to leave, he hadn’t expected anything to ever change for them. A part of him still didn’t.

“I betrayed you, time and time again because of it.” He’s seething, and he isn’t even certain which of the two of them he’s furious with. “You’ve no reason to trust me even if there was a time you did. That’s why you were the perfect weapon for them to use against me - it’s entirely my fault that they attacked you. I refuse to apologize for their actions after what they’ve done. All they wanted was a backup plan, anyhow. You’re safe now, I suppose, because I got the message. I get it now. There’ll be no peace if I stand with you, if I take your side ever again, I’ve known it all our lives. I’m not your hero, Doctor, you were almost mine once but that was a long time ago, and all that came from it - was that they had to resort to hurting you so that you wouldn’t try to save me.”

He growled and stalked toward the door. “I never needed you, you know.” It’s the only thing he can possibly say that can keep her safe. Even if it’s a lie. “I don’t want you to try anymore, because if you ever do remember, you’ll know that it’s true. That I’m not pathetic or weak enough to need salvation like those lesser creatures you constantly travel with.

[tenebristredecim-blog]

Suddenly she wishes he'd let her believe the lies. They were easier to live with than this, than watching the only person in the universe (from her own perspective) that has ever meant well towards her walk out the door. “Please,” she chokes out, “don’t leave me alone.”

 If she’s alone she knows she’ll be constantly looking over her shoulder to see if they’re coming back for her, paranoid at the possibility of losing her autonomy a second time. Not to mention, there’s still so much she doesn’t understand. ‘Lesser beings’ she travelled with? No matter how hard she racks her brains, she can’t remember travelling at all. Yes, she knows she’s been used as a weapon, had embraced the title somewhat, against ‘them’. Was ‘them’ him, and anyone else who dared defy the highest in Time Lord society?

“...I don’t even know what ‘my side’ is. And I’m not sure I care. But I don’t need a hero.”  Her hands shake. I never needed you, you know. “Maybe that’s true,” she doesn’t know any different, “but...I think I need you.”

That person he’s been telling her he is, that wandering philanthropist. “Whoever I used to be, whether I thought you needed salvation or I left you behind or anything else...I’m not that person anymore, and I’m not sure I ever can be again. I just need someone to be there while I discover who I am now. So...please, don’t go...don’t let them win twice, please.” His coldness compared to his closeness just before is devastating. 

[cerulean-archived]

“If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me to stop, I’d be rich.”

The Master stared at her in shock, wondering how this had happened. How he’d so foolishly walked into this situation and ended up being so viciously injured, but he tried not to show the disgust he felt when looking at his own blood, and he shifted to a haughty glare.

“I wasn’t asking, Doctor. I was demanding. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop this foolishness before the consequences you face are far worse than you can imagine. You know who I am. You know what I’m capable of! I’m not at all convinced by your shallow attempts to shift our power dynamic, you know. Because I know you, and you’re going to absolutely hate yourself once you realize what you’ve done. You’re the most compassionate idiot that I’ve ever known, Theta. The one who forgives me everything because you want what we used to have. If you release me and get your medical kit, I’ll do my best to forgive you for once. But that offer has a very limited time window.”

[tenebristredecim-blog]

thedamnedgallifreyan:

It takes all of his willpower not to immediately lash out when she’s given orders. It isn’t her fault, he realizes that, but he’s absolutely seething with visible hatred while he listens.

And replies, even knowing full well he shouldn’t, hissing it under his breath. “You’re too lazy, too incompetent, to break me… tell your boss that,” he tells the other TimeLord. “I don’t even know what awful thing I did this time to make you want this.”

He has to swallow, has to breathe, has to force himself not to speak out again because it isn’t anyone who will take his side. They never will. He still doesn’t belong on Gallifrey anymore than he did as a child, and he’s furious, he’s disgusted at how easily it hurts to know he can’t earn redemption. Not the kind he wants, anyhow.

“I needed information,” he says softly to her question. “I can’t leave unless you break me, that’s what they want. I’ve given you permission, I’ve even told you that you’ll be forgiven for anything you have to do. I know it can be harder to forgive yourself, Doctor. I know you can’t understand their rules, I don’t know what happened to you, but we were friends once. I can forgive you now. I didn’t once and I didn’t expect it to have consequences like this.”

Nobody has ever confused her as much as ‘Koschei’ does, right now. He speaks like a friend, like he knows her intimately, but no matter how hard she thinks, she can’t seem to find any recollection of having met him before. “I’m sure you’re mistaking me for someone else,” she forces herself to resume a cold tone, with a closed-lipped, thin smile. “For a start, nothing ever happened to me, I don’t know you, and I don’t need anyone’s forgiveness.”

Rules? Friends? Consequences? Confusion leaves her frazzled. Her hands raise to rake through her hair, and eventually she shakes her head and turns to get the Time Lord who’d previously been in the room with her. “…My head’s getting confused again.”

He nods in understanding and leaves, returning with a chair, that she climbs into and allows him to secure her to. “Thank you for telling me, Theta. We can get that cleared up early, so this won’t take as long as usual.” When she nods, he places his fingers on her temples and she lets out an unholy scream of pain that lasts until he retracts them, at which time she slumps in the chair, breathing heavy. “It’ll take a couple minutes to get over the shock, but everything should be alright after that, okay?”

The rules are clearer in her head now as he undoes the restraints, and she mutters a thank you.

It probably isn’t too much of a reach to work out that they’d messed with her mind, and continue to do so in order to secure her compliance. The only difference now is that she willingly submits herself to it.

( @backongallifrey )

[simonsaysxsmile]

An Open Topic

[tenebristredecim-blog]

simonsaysxsmile:

“Good to know,” he gestured the people away, raising his glass, “I hope that I get to find out more of your abilities during your stay.”

"And you might, we shall see. That’s part of the fun of it," she grins, raising her own glass in kind. 

[simonsaysxsmile]

An Open Topic

[tenebristredecim-blog]

simonsaysxsmile:

“Any other tricks you got up those sleeves?” He tilted his head, gesturing to those looking on to pour some drinks.

"Plenty. More than I could list without dying of sheer boredom.” Ah. Alcohol. “Including, funnily enough, a ridiculous alcohol tolerance. Drinking random people under the table just to see the looks on others’ faces is an occasional hobby of mine.”

[tenebristredecim-blog]

simplicity-of-control:

The Master put his arms around Theta’s hips, the sly grin still on his lips. Other ideas indeed, and several of them involving mind control, murder and naked skin. “You’re right, as always dear.” He hummed. 

(Mind Control, Murder, And Naked Skin – title of their sex tape.)

That grin makes the blonde wonder why literal princesses weren’t kicking down doors to marry him, why he’d had to settle for Lucy Cole of all people, the insufferable brat. She turns her head at the entrance of a third guard, but doesn’t want to disentangle herself from her husband to make her order more firm. “Clean that up, would you? Fights over lovers can get real messy...” Her tone is sweeter than syrup as she shakes her head in faux disapproval, before returning her gaze to the Master. “Although, it’s what I’d do if anyone laid hands on you, dear. Except, of course, I’d live.”

[simonsaysxsmile]

An Open Topic

[tenebristredecim-blog]

simonsaysxsmile:

“I don’t want her harmed,” he wasn’t able to figure out how to phrase It, “I care about her. I want her to see that without forcing her.”

He looked up at Theta finally, “How did you do that, by the way?”

Well, that must be debatable, if attacks like this were provoked, but it's not something she wants to question. Theta gets the impression that awakening any kind of anger in the other would be ill-advised.

“...Well, here we get into complex questions,” she hums, “I can invade people’s minds, essentially. One of the many benefits of being not as human as I look.” 

[simonsaysxsmile]

An Open Topic

[tenebristredecim-blog]

smithandsaxon:

“I’m still in one piece, at least. I…appreciate the help. Jessica is…tempermental,” he took stock of his limbs and sighed.

"So I noticed," she says, running her hands through her hair – having expected more questions about what she’d just done, she’s ever-so-slightly thrown off by the lack of them. He seems to be alright for now, although she hadn’t had enough time to really delve in order to find out why this ‘Jessica’ had attacked him before deciding to let her go. 

Theta’s brows furrow as she noticed the several guards hanging about the place, dark-suited and unsmiling. “What are they for if not to stop people coming in? If she got in...and I got in without anyone noticing me...?” It seems the guards are rather terrible at their jobs, but she stops short of saying so aloud. She also takes inventory of several cooks and maids in the place, too. It’s the sort of thing you can do when you can control people with such ease, she supposes.

[simonsaysxsmile]

An Open Topic

[tenebristredecim-blog]

simonsaysxsmile:

He stood up and bowed slightly, “It was a pleasure meeting you Theta Sigma of Lungbarrow,” he took her hand and gave it a kiss. Killgrave walked away, getting into a dark car.

When she arrives, having taken up his offer after having grown bored, Theta certainly doesn't expect to walk into this much of a commotion. Who the woman was, she didn’t know, but Killgrave is looking a little worse for wear. So, taking advantage of the fact she had not yet been noticed, Theta slips up behind his assailant and presses her fingers to the other woman’s temples.

“Back down or I crush your insignificant brain between my fingers, capiche?” She pushes a little, just to prove she will make good on her threat – but then she sees. Oh. They have...significant history, to the point she doubts Killgrave will appreciate her disposing of the woman. So she lets go, lets her run, before brushing her arms off. “I didn’t expect to walk into a confrontation so early in the morning. I figure that’s why I shouldn’t always disregard the fact that doors were invented for a reason. Are you okay?”