High up on a hill in remote rural Wales,
A tumbledown Manor House covered in snails
No human to talk to, not even a phone
Lady Bernadette Oliver lived all alone
Dressing up every day in fine fabrics and fur
Creating new styles and feeling demur
Dreaming one day her designs would be
Featured in Vogue magazine and TV
But the house wasn’t empty, or quiet you see
It was full to the brim, a cacophony
Of weird and bizarre exotic pets
Ordered by Paypal on the internet
Two wild Kangaroos, a blue Cockateel
1 Lobster, 5 Hamsters, 3 Kittens, a Seal
10 Giant Goldfish, one Camel, of course
A Zebra, 2 Parrots, a miniature Horse
So happy there were, but this may not end well
This story is twisted, have you guessed, can you tell?
It began with Bobby the Burmese cat,
He choked on a hairball and that was that
Out like a light, a very quick death
But just moments after his very last breath
“I’ve just thought of a way to make my name,
A surefire way to find fortune and fame
Combine sewing skills and my pet passion
I’ll attempt to create new kinds of fashion”
With that she took Bobby and squashed him flat
Then turned him into a lovely top hat
Next, Roger and Avril, two pekinese dogs
Snuffed it on Monday, Tuesday they were clogs
One week after was Reggie the Fox,
He drowned in the pond and then darned into socks
Struck down by lightening her two lovely white Doves
Quick as a flash they became Fingerless gloves.
As years went by and her animals ceased
Her experiments and crazy ideas increased
Squashed in mid March, her army of ants
So she stitched them to the seam of her pants
The final straw came with her old mountain goat
Her face disappeared in the nanny goat coat
This crazy old lady could no longer been seen
A grotesque mix of animals where she had once been
She got the fame she desired, her wishes came true
She was caught by a hunter and displayed in a zoo.
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
izzy806
jbbartram-illu
andulkaphoto
snowghoul
2087