d i r t y h a n d s

" You see, every man is a safe, a vault of secrets and longings. Now, there are those who take the brute's way, but I prefer a gentler approach — the right pressure applied at the right moment, in the right place. It's a delicate thing. " indie rp blog for KAZ BREKKER from leigh bardugo's six of crows duology. scripted by ari(li). selective, private, crossover friendly. tracks terriblewill. var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5516837"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=crow&e2=crows&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write("");

[terriblewill-archived]

quick notes for that af.tg verse i keep meaning to write up but like… i’m lazy…

DOES NOT PLAY EXY. or, well, would never get on a team as a player because ha ha bad leg. cane. all that jazz. probably used to play at school but then he broke his leg at 14 and it never healed right, hence cane.

he’s good at strategy and moving players around where they’re needed tho. definitely would be in more of a coaching role. (striker inej tho this is something i need in my life.)

goes by brekker, but lbr no one’s out there looking for kaz ri.etveld from fucking iowa. he’s much more notorious by the name he actually uses, or as dir.tyhands.

probably gonna age him up to 19 for this verse, so he can actually be around college and all that.

… i don’t have anything picked out for there but if someone wanted to discuss something (bring the teenage gangster out of the slums of…. possibly vegas, maybe san fran… i’m still debating on where the dregs are based in this verse…) please hit me up!

HE IS NOT A RAVENS FAN. those are crows everywhere. he has an aesthetic and he refuses to let go of it.

(also yeah plz don’t touch him or he’ll stab u.)

[dxrtyhands-a-blog]

so if there’s one thing kaz is amazing at, it’s blaming himself for the people he cares about getting hurt. it’s always because of something he did or didn’t do, or something he wanted that leads to suffering. this is probably a big part of why he keeps others at arm’s length, trying to keep them from getting closer so that he doesn’t destroy them like he has before.

i mean… just look at this quote from chapter 18 of s/oc…

“In the years after, Kaz would always wonder what might have happened if Jordie hadn’t indulged him, if they’d gone to the harbor to look at boats instead, or if they’d simply been walking on the other side of the canal.”

while, yes, he’s starting to recognize that it wouldn’t have changed the eventual outcome, i feel like this is something he’s been struggling with for years. if he hadn’t wanted to go see the magician, they wouldn’t have met filip that day, and then things might not have gone downhill as quickly. or at all, for all kaz knows. a regret that he would never truly get rid of.

fast forward to the end of book 1.

and inej gets captured.

because “in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.” 

that entire fight is kaz’s desperation to not lose another person that he cares about and i just… losing her hurts so much. and he blames himself so much. which is why his first instinct is to goad jesper into a fight, searching for something he can control. something he can win. something to make him feel normal (or at least as normal as he ever feels).

“Kaz wanted to hit someone. He wanted someone to hit him.”

he wants to hurt, physically, because he’s hurting emotionally, and this is the only way he knows how to deal with that by this point. pain is easier for him to deal with than this… better than wallowing in how much he hates himself for being a curse on anyone who dares to give a shit about him.

just… self-blaming self-hating boy…

[incorrect-six-of-crows-quotes]

Inej: Do you like my outfit? 

Kaz: Not as much as I like what’s underneath it.

Inej: Kaz!?!?

Kaz: No, I need that chair. Get up, I’ve got accounts to settle

[terriblewill-archived]

@kniiivesdrawn

[incorrect-six-of-crows-quotes]

Dime Lions Thug: I have come to kidnap you

Kaz: Hold on, let me ask Inej

Thug: It is not a choi-

Kaz: She said no

[terriblewill-archived]

when crows remember people who wronged them & hold grudges it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when i do it i’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on’ what kind of double standard honestly…

indie kaz brekker rp blog ♚ scripted by ari ♚ crossover friendly ♚ personals do not reblog

[terriblewill-archived]

#THAT'S MY BABY AND IM REAL PROUD

kaz is so proud of his son

[terriblewill-archived]

btw, fun thing to think about in t/ua verse? if kaz ever meets klaus, then klaus gets to see kaz’s own personal guardian ghost — jordie. 

[tacitxrneminence]

Casual reminder to all my partners;

                                    I am not fast.

[terriblewill-archived]

&&. magicstarved‌ — five

@terriblewill // kaz.

         “jesus christ, they NEED bigger cups.” steam fogged his dark eyes as the boy took a sip from the coffee cup - and handed another freshly brewed coffee to his taller - albeit younger companion.

          another sip of coffee toned down the aggression that always bubbled when he was reminded of THAT inconvenience. “can you do me a solid and roll out what the tube sent you?” he drummed his fingers on the table, waiting. “just to check you’re not here to rob me BLIND.”

coffee was a necessary in order to survive this job, especially when kaz considered the boy he was partnered with. it was a rare occurrence that the thief was sent to work with one of the company’s killers, but five especially was easy to needle. “and if you’re saying that, it’s something.”

still, dark eyes rolled at the clear distrust shown, however well-earned it may be. “now, why would i do that? it’s not like you have anything i might find useful, after all.” taking a sip of his own coffee, just to draw out the moment and irritated the older (and younger-looking) boy, he watched five carefully. “well, maybe your gun, but those aren’t my preference. you know that.”

[terriblewill-archived]

&&. magicstarved‌ — nikolai

@terriblewill // kaz.

       “i suppose there’s no point for PRETENSE.” nikolai grinned as soon as the doors were shut, and the red streak of his hair immediately faded like it was stain on his naturally blonde locks - the rest of his disguise shrugged off like changing a set of clothes.

       “no point for beating around the bush either. it’s good to see you again, MR. BREKKER.” the ravkan ruler then sank on his own seat, gesturing for dirtyhands to take the spot across his desk. upon clearing his throat, nikolai pushed a freshly poured drink, and a folder encasing a sheaf of blueprints towards the barrel boy’s direction.   

        “i heard you’re great with LOCKS.”

it was nice being in on a national secret, if that meant private audiences with the king of ravka himself. and the fact that said king was able to think like a common criminal was another benefit to this partnership of sorts. at least, that was how kaz felt, taking his seat and watching the older man shed his alter ego.

“on better circumstances this time, i believe.” or, well, it was better for him. half the barrel wasn’t openly trying to kill him anymore, he didn’t have a merch out for his head, and he was running his gang like he was always meant to be. “as for locks, i’m decent.” on some, that would be humility, but on kaz it was a reflex meant to lead others to underestimating his skills.

“who are you trying to keep out?" the average criminal, or him?

[terriblewill-archived]

verse dump!

♜♜;; another cog in the murder machine‚ you know (umbrella acad. verse)

working for the commission isn’t too bad, kaz thinks. after all, they let him travel through time, finding things that could stop people from doing stupid shit. and if he pockets a thing or two that could help him with his ultimate goal of avenging his brother’s death... well, that’s not any of their business. 

and if it helps him find the people that can help him do that, even better.

[terriblewill-archived]

tua verse is gonna happen.

[salty-software-engineer]

As far as I can tell Kaz Brekker’s main purpose in life is to cockblock everyone including and especially himself.

[lukas-musings]

         “Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight” is stupid. 

                                                           I’ll bring a knife to any fight                                                                       And I’ll ᴡɪɴ                                                                   Fuck all of you

[terriblewill-archived]

&&. oflegendaries‌ — eliza

               pip’s not MUCH YOUNGER than this boy, she observes, but her son would never be so careful, so defiant. not for the first time, it makes her glad she insisted on raising her first children in their zemeni family estate, and both curious and HORRIFIED at what this city makes of her orphans.❛ i’ll be damned if i let the stadwatch anywhere near my house without a major reason. we’re hamiltons, and immigrants to boot. there’s NO LOVE LOST between them and us. not after they came sniffing around like hounds about that awful affair… ❜ there she interrupts herself, clearing her throat, cheeks REDDENED.❛ anyway, it’s besides the point. ❜ 

right, these were the hamiltons. kaz had heard about the whole affair thing, but found it uninteresting beyond the fact that the man himself had spread the tale. other than that, it was just another affair, wasn’t like half the so-called upstanding merches didn’t frequent the brothels of east stave. not useful for his ultimate goal. “i don’t need your charity.” he may be a barrel rat, but kaz had his pride. and that pride was why he had the crow and cup inked onto his forearm (an excruciating process that had left him shaking in his blankets afterwards), instead of any other gang symbol. “’sides, i can’t stay.”

[terriblewill-archived]

can we just add mr ro.bot to the list of things kaz is not allowed to watch? because it gives him ideas.

[eerna]

*deadpans his true feelings* *surfs away from her problems*