Thereâs a faint smirk on his lips when he finds her in the room, even if the wear in his stance appears obvious. Maybe it is since gina has a way of pulling a smile out of him, making his eyes shine in a way he hasnât felt since he first got to the ground. Thereâs a weightlessness to their interactions that is surprisingly grounding, that make him feel as though he has roots here. He helped build Arkadia, yet nothing felt stable. Still reeling from the events at mount weather and Clarkeâs departure ( abandonment, on his worst days ), he finds that every time he takes a step outside those walls heâs preparing for a fight. The grounders hadnât honored their deal to help with mount weather because they had gotten a better offer. Why should he trust Lexa to keep the peace now? Lincoln didnât even have a place with his own people, but bellamy started considering him to be one of his, and lincoln would always have a place in Arkadia.
Gina had started staying at his room when both discovered that the other didnât like sleeping alone, but there is still lingering shock at the closeness between them. It feels more intimate curled up with her than it ever did the first few nights on the ground with any warm body beside him.
Sheâs right, though, and maybe that should annoy him but he finds himself more and more endeared by her tenacity and ability to read him with each passing day. He always admired the effort she put into her work but never anticipated the same scrutiny in her personal relationships. What he means to say is he never expected it to get this far.
Days spent with raven and her helped fill the empty spaces, moments where he thought heâd fall apart if he didnât find something to do after weeks on the ground being constant fight to constant fight. The constant stimulation was good for him but he never tempered it with anythingâŠuntil gina started to force him to. Gina had a tendency to calm whatever coursed through him that told him he needed to act, and on his best days, he started to see a life outside of constant battle, an identity outside of brother and friend. Irregardless, it gave him a sense of purpose that he craved, even if it was just sitting as Raven worked. He was taking care of Raven, and that was enough for him, and seeing Gina was an added bonus.
Her blunt nature is curtailed by her gentleness drew him in, and the smirk softens to a smile when he can see the worry in her eyes. He pulls the pendant out from his jacket as he removes it, placing it back in her hand and curling her fingers over it. After a few seconds of soaking up the warmth of her hand in his own, he pulls back just enough to sign what he hopes is Iâm fine. The practice is good for him even if he feels the end goal is hopeless, and heâs too concentrated on his fingers to speak it as well.
Itâs in the same breath that he allows his shoulders to droop because without the adrenaline pumping through his veins, he can feel the exhaustion take hold. âSomeone has to.â He offers as an excuse. Someone has to take these shifts and even if the guard is growing, he knows the terrain and he trusts himself to carry the burden. Keeping his hands busy is just a lucky side effect because the real gratification comes from knowing his people are safe, knowing Gina is safe. âWhy are you still up?â
ginaâs not incapable of self-soothing, so she does. the raven she finds after her shift at the bar is frustrated and bleary-eyed, ripping through a knotted-up tangle of wires like theyâve committed some personal offense against her, but gina knows better - ravenâs not likely to admit it, but sheâs always especially agitated when a hunting or scouting trip or anything of this sort goes too long, and as much as gina wants to relieve the hard line of tension in her shoulders, thereâs something comforting about the stab of empathy she feels for her, even if it is just that - a stab. theyâre both in the same boat, she means, though ginaâs perhaps more likely to wear her worry, even when itâs not something she can command. raven prefers to channel it into aggression something metal can be on the receiving end of, and gina knows not to push her before sheâs ready; ravenâs distrust of grounders runs much deeper than hers does, and though she has only bits and pieces of many of her loved oneâs lives before the rest of their people came down to the ground, she knows better than to try and ease it. instead she brings her something she can eat without tying up both of her hands and stays with her until raven gets the clue that sheâs not leaving until she does, and compassion for her outweighs her restlessness, just as gina knew it would. sheâd stay up all night were it just her, but she wonât keep gina up.Â
she takes it as a good sign that she has the presence of mind to notice - both for raven and for bellamy. it means raven might actually get some sleep, and that means the logical part of her mind is telling her this is all routine and bellamy will return home just fine. raven might never admit it, but sheâs been doing this for longer than gina has - worrying about bellamy. how often gina thought of him while he was in the mountain would argue not much longer, but she chooses to believe for her own peace of mind that sheâs right. raven usually is. right, that is.Â
ginaâs not ready to sleep, though, so she wanders through a darkened and lonely arkadia until she finds what sheâs been trying to turn into some kind of classroom in her spare time. there arenât a lot of kids running around arkadia and no oneâs been able to put a lot of thought into education with the threat of the mountain men and grounders hanging over them, but as theyâve worked to better arkadiaâs ability to shelter, itâs a place ginaâs mind has lingered frequently. if this is where theyâre going to spend the next decade or decades, itâs something theyâre going to have to think about. itâs that thought that sparked this project of sorts, one that had been heavily reliant lincolnâs abundance of knowledge about living on the ground. heâd taught her a lot about making paint out of natural materials, and so whenever she had time sheâd come here to paint.Â
if you asked her, sheâs far from what youâd call an artist, but sheâd also say she didnât really need to be. it wasnât about putting a mural up so much as getting some color on the walls, and it was nice to have a break from all of the grey - to bring some of the vibrant color of the outdoors inside. as long as the peace between their people and the grounders was tentative, arkadiaâs most vulnerable would remain inside its gates. her own excursions outside them were limited to supply runs for the most part, but sheâs seen what lies outside them; the least she could do was bring some of the light in. doing that felt almost like healing somehow, another way of leaving the worst of their lives in space behind and building something new, all the while making arkadia feel less haunted - more like the home they were trying to build it into instead of the last physical piece of the ark. it didnât take her mind off bellamy completely, but painting did curb the worst of her worrying, and was a tranquil enough activity to soften the edges of her consciousness until she felt like sleep might be possible. even though she was often alone when she painted, she didnât feel alone - maybe she was too focused on the activity that she didnât have room to think about it, but ridiculous as she knew it would sound to say aloud, it was just as likely, if not more so, what the room represented. even alone in dim lighting with nothing but her paints to keep her company, she could almost feel what this room could be - feel the energy of kids playing and learning here surrounded in vivid color where she had been consumed by grey, the possibility of a better future like it was something tangible she could hold in her hands. and yet, after a few hours of painting, she ultimately chooses to go back to bellamyâs room, even knowing it would be awhile before he returned and she would be able to sleep.Â
before she and bellamy had started sleeping together, sheâd dreaded going back to her room. it always felt much more lonely than sheâd be at the bar or anywhere else she could fall asleep half way through some task, but for some reason, as much as she wishes bellamy would be waiting for her when she got there, she doesnât find herself dreading what had once seemed to be an inevitable loneliness. in place of that loneliness is now the comfort she can draw from a few stray black hairs on bellamyâs pillow and the scent of him in the bed they share. though she doesnât drift off, sheâs able to rest while surrounded by his smell, hoping her warm thoughts of him and the pendant she tucked in his jacket can somehow bring him home safe and sound, uncertain as she is that thereâs anyone watching over them.Â
thereâs no way to know if either of those things have anything to do with it, but bellamy does return to her safely, if incredibly worn down. the smirk that soon softens for her does little to detract from the dark shadows around his eyes, but her heart fills with love regardless, even if still accompanied by a stubborn lingering worry sheâs not sure sheâll ever shake. gina returns that smile as he places the pendant in her paint-stained hands and the cool sensation of it pressed against her palm, soon followed by the warmth of his own hand curled around hers, elicits a powerful sense of relief. this ritual has quickly become of critical importance to her life on the ground, perhaps her favorite of all the patterns sheâs settled into. her neck does feel a little bare without her motherâs necklace around it, but her attachment to the pendant has nothing to do with the relief she feels; what fills her now is entirely concerning her attachment to bellamy. gratitude fills her not because the necklace has been returned to her, but because bellamy has.Â
bellamy returning the pendant to her means that heâs home and staying, and her own shoulders relax at that. there are few things that can warm her more than that, but his signing comes close. it softens her smile even more, and her voice is just as when she says, âgood,â and does the matching sign, both a confirmation that heâd done it right and an expression of relief for what heâs assured her of, though she knows heâs less inclined to worry about the exhaustion she can plainly see as he is. she doesnât waste another moment before letting her arms wrap around him, though a moment later she finds herself wishing sheâd sat the necklace down so both hands could flatten over his back for better access. she has to settle for one sliding over his shoulder blades and bringing him closer, face tucked into his neck and breathing him in. it stays there as she makes a little mmm sound in response to his excuse, but rather than a true argument, she simply squeezes him tighter, savoring the feel of him for a few more moments before letting him go just to take one of his hands in hers and pull him toward the bed - next to which thereâs some water and a quick snack before bed waiting for him when heâs ready. âmissed you,â is a gentler way of saying i was worried about you in response to his inquiry, but itâs equally true. she strongly prefers falling asleep with him to without. she worried, but she also just didnât like being without him, even if that was especially true when he was outside arkadiaâs gates. itâs also more honest than painting seeing as in part that had been about distraction, and her fingers are covered in the evidence anyway, and possibly other parts of her, too, one could infer from the dried paint down the side of her neck. âall good out there?â she asks, which is a not-so-sly way of asking if heâd run into trouble, which is an even less stealthy way of asking if heâs hurt, but she canât exactly help herself.Â