*･☾˙ ˖✶ ⟫ TOO MUCH TO DREAM

*･☾˙ ˖✶ ⟫ I've been hiding in the smallest spaces I am dying to go, this is not my home

[tessajpg-blog]

carterbkwrm:

At first he wasn’t sure if the question was directed at him, but a quick look around the room confirmed that he was the one being asked. “I sure hope I am,” he joked. “what’s that?” he pointed to the small bag she had been intensely staring at a few moments ago. 

she stared blankly at the boy for a moment. “it’s a bag.” tessa knew that didn’t answer his question. “well, i’ve got flower, shrooms, and some wax. it’s just stuff that i’ve managed to save from nasir. your party just might be the special occasion. i think we could use a bit of fun.” tessa laughed a bit. “or are you more of the ‘d.a.r.e warned me about people like you’ type?

[tessajpg-blog]

qveenvaleria:

her attention was bouncing back & forth between tessa & her own cell phone, quickly typing out a reply before looking up at the girl. “hm?? oh carter’s thing- beach- yeah I’ll totally be there,” she replied absentmindedly. “do I have to wait for you to maybe show up as well to find out what’s in that bag of yours or are you gonna whip it out now??”

"i’ve always been a sucker for suspense, but... it’s a bag of vhs tapes. are you up for a round two?” she rolled her eyes with a small laugh. “i’m kidding. it’s just a few magic mushrooms that nasir gave me.” the girl fiddled with the small bag for a moment before sliding it over to val. “have you done shrooms before?”

[tessajpg-blog]

bcrker:

cassidy was half paying attention to the conversation, but mostly to what she was reading in her book. “mhmm,” she mumbled as she flipped a page, but suddenly perked up. “wait, saving what for a special occasion? and OF COURSE i’m going to carter’s! i feel like i’ve totally isolated myself from the rest of our grade so this is the least i can do.”

“well, nasir gave me some shrooms a while back. i haven’t wanted to take them because of everything that’s been going on. i really don’t want a bad trip centered around emma’s murder.” tessa couldn’t help but laugh, imagining whatever crazy shit she might see. “cool. i get that. i’m sure everyone will be happy to see you there.” for whatever reason, it seemed impossible for cassidy to be truly ‘isolated’ from anyone.

[tessajpg-blog]

acbreys:

the voice caught her off-guard but once aubrey realized who it was, she glanced up with a forced smile. “yeah, i’m going. i might be a little late ‘cause of work but yeah. are you?” motioning towards the small black bag, the brunette arched an eyebrow. “what’s in there?”

tessa peered up at her best friend with a small frown. “that place is going to be the death of you. you really could use a vacation.” her gaze drifted back to the bag, a small smile forming on her lips. “well... it’s the last of what nasir gave me. after we smoke this, i’m out. maybe, this weekend is my special occasion.”

[tessajpg-blog]

tessa stared at the small black bag, biting her lip slightly as she weighed her options in silence. she was still unsure whether or not she would be going to the beach, but kept in mind the fact that aubrey would probably drag her out to carter’s regardless of what she wanted. “i was saving it for a special occasion, but...” a smile perked up on her lips. “wait. you are going to carter’s, right?”

[tessajpg-blog]

ncsirz:

∙ ˚ ♔ ˊ mere tension, it’s there but very little. along with confusion & the smallest bit of anger. teaspoon size, to be exact. he’s not quite sure how to feel, how to react after hearing tessa’s confession about the prom fiasco. for the past few encounters, he’d been IGNORING the need to be angry with her, possibly scream at her about how wrong her actions were. how traumatic it was to watch that video that displayed something so vile, once again. that was a CHOICE. but nasir had always been exceptionally forgiving, especially when it comes to tessa. accepting the fact that she’s H U M A N & that the kind of person emma was, wasn’t exactly sweet. hell, at this point, he probably shouldn’t even be defending her, but just like being forgiving, he’s undeniably loyal. so instead of going with his first option, he gives her the same attempt. quick smile that doesn’t show the pearly whites, but realistic enough not to question it. ❛ same ole, same ole —— detention. ❜ short & simple, but being that their last encounter ended in her calling him a ‘prick’, he feels it’s appropriate. eyes finally meeting hers, he senses the nerves. a genuine smile coats his lips, ❛ sure, why not ? ❜

drawing in a deep breath, tessa did her best to shake off her nerves. there was no point in drawing out any tension between them. they were still best friends. hopefully, they’d move past whatever this was. “you’re going to carter’s, right?” the pair walked through the hallway, their steps syncing up as they always did. “i’m not sure that i really want to lock myself up in a house for three days with prescott’s finest, but i’m sure aubrey will drag me along. you should come. you can room with me if you want.” in reality, it’d be a safe bet to room with nasir. he made a good guard dog. “besides, i’m not really up for drinking after the bonfire’s shit show. you can bring some bud. i’ll go in on it with you.” she smiled at nasir, looping her arm arm over his shoulder. “just... don’t throw me into any pools, okay?”

[tessajpg-blog]

acbreys:

“what are you thinking about?” aubrey knew that tessa wasn’t all there and while it kind of annoyed her, she did her best to remain neutral. “oh, well, if you guys need any help, i definitely don’t mind swinging by.” she offered her best friend a small smile before shrugging. “i don’t think he’s avoiding me. everyone’s busy this time of year, you know? he seemed okay after the bonfire.”

“nothing. sorry.” she knew aubrey probably didn’t appreciate the cryptic answers and vague disposition. tessa didn’t want to concern her friend with anything that she was dealing with. it was her battle. “thanks. i’ll let her know. the sho’s a wreck.” she frowned a bit, thinking back to the bonfire. “sometimes, you don’t see things. he could have been feeling one way, but acting another. it’s not like he could go anywhere, you know? why don’t you text him or something?”

[tessajpg-blog]

acbreys:

“earth to tessa,” aubrey snapped her fingers in front of the girl’s face as she realized the girl was wandering off. propping her chin up on her hand, she narrowed her eyes slightly at the white lie. “busy with what? everyone’s been busy with stuff. i feel like i’m the only one not preoccupied with anything. — i-,” she paused, the sudden cold tone in tessa’s voice catching her off-guard. “i haven’t seen him since the fight.” 

“sorry. i was just thinking about something.” her gaze returned to aubrey, though still seeming a little spacey. “i was just helping my mom out at the shop. we’re still trying to recover from the big prom season rush, you know?” tessa stared down at her food. she couldn’t remember the last time she actually felt hungry. “really? i wonder why. do you think he’s avoiding you?”

[tessajpg-blog]

acbreys:

@tessajpg !!

“i haven’t seen you since the night of the bonfire,” aubrey simply stated as she took a seat across from her best friend in the lunch room. dipping a fry in a small pile of ketchup, the brunette looked over at tessa, a small sigh falling past her lips. “are you and rodney okay? i mean, you’re obviously not best friends but…you’re better, right?”

tessa’s eyes drifted along the lunchroom, wondering if jay had missed another day of school. aubrey’s words caught her off guard, realising her best friend was seated before her. “sorry. i’ve just been busy.” it was a lie, but it would suffice for now. “i don’t know. he seemed pretty okay with me. he’s your friend. why don’t you ask him?”

[tessajpg-blog]

ncsirz:

∙ ˚ ♔ ˊ  eyes rolled, posture BROKEN as he leans back in the chair, feet propped up on the desk in front of him. small smirk as he eyes the teacher giving him an unpleasant glare, one that would make anyone else feel belittled, sit up straight & give them an apology. but not nasir, instead he couldn’t care less. DETENTION was practically home, the familiar sight of names claiming ownership over seats, the dissapoint dripping from the teachers’ eyes, and anyone else who walked past the door & spotted the teen sitting there completing his P U N I S H M E N T. the bell lets out, & it’s not long before he walks out of the room, holding various papers that would be labeled as homework. something that he wasn’t too fond or familiar with, but there was a start for everything. watching as a familiar face passes him by, he gives a grin. ❛ hey. ❜

caught off guard by nasir’s greeting, tessa made her best attempt at a smile. she and nasir had become pretty distant recently, not spending much time together like before. tessa couldn’t help but assume it had something to do with jay and the tape. “hey...” she shifted her weight nervously, fingertips trailing along the strap of her backpack. “what are you doing, here? it’s kind of late.” maybe, he was wondering the same thing. “i was helping mrs. peretti int he art room.” she was losing an internal battle with the feeling of tension that was quickly growing in the space between them. “do you want to grab coffee or something?”

[tessajpg-blog]

qveenvaleria:

her shoulders shrugged as her eyes danced across the lunch table. “I’m just saying.” val’s gaze fell on the girl again & she shook her head. “I don’t mean feeling bad as in you disrespected emma’s… spirit… or whatever.” she waved a hand around to try to get the words out. “look, emma is dead. indefinitely dead & gone. you don’t have to feel bad about it. most people don’t. but have you ever heard that saying about death not happening to the dead but to everyone around them left in their wake?? you could at least be a little considerate to the people who cared about her. emma may have the wicked witch in our merry ol’ land of oz, but she was someone’s friend, someone’s daughter. & she didn’t just die, she was murdered. just think about how they must feel about her death being such a public scandal. though emma probably is looking down from above ( or up from below ), basking in the spotlight from the afterlife. I just- I just think that tape isn’t just something to throw around for funsies you know??”

“no, i totally get it.” a simple smile wash over tessa’s features. it was nice to hear the genuine respect. she assumed it was the first time she had actually heard it. “what we did was fucked up. i know. if i could go back and stop us, i would. however, i know i can’t. if time travel were real, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” tessa laughed a bit, running her fingers along the table. “thank you. i’m not sure how, but you kind of cheered me up. thanks.”

[tessajpg-blog]

leviathvns:

“maybe you purposely forget all the happy memories.” he said jokingly, leaning across the table to break her cookie in half - helping himself. “i am. i mean.. devil’s advocate, devil’s parliament, devil’s second cousin twice removed - you can call me whatever you like as long as you keep your own worth in mind.” biting into the confetti sugar cookie, he scanned the lunchroom behind him for the brunette in question, but turned back around when he didn’t find her at first glance. “thank you alien inhabitant controlling tessa cooper, i will keep that in mind and hope you remember me when your space species takes over the planet.”

“so, what’s your deal?” the question was open and vague, but she hoped he would understand. “you can’t just ignore everything that’s happened. why are you being so nice to me?” she thought back to a run-in she had with levi and caleb. it wasn’t her happiest memory, but it wasn’t the worst. “suddenly, emma’s gone. i don’t understand how that makes you a great guy all of a sudden.” she sighed a bit. maybe, she should give him a chance. levi was not caleb, gun, or rodney. he could be different. 

[tessajpg-blog]

rvcklcss:

“ no fuckin’ way. ” standing as well the second he can sense her habitual impulse to FLEE the scene, gun steps forward with a finger pointed at her like she wouldn’t listen to him if he put it down. “ what’s your deal, cooper? ” trapped aggression comes forth through the sound of his voice, increasingly more strained and disdainful with every syllable ; though he’s more simply FRUSTRATED by her cowardice than actually incensed by it. “ you know what, i want you to say something real for once – i want you to own up to the shit you pull around here. ” he laughs and throws out his hands to his sides ; “ but you’re never gonna do that if you can help it, are you? you’re just going to RUN AWAY if it looks like you might have to actually be an adult about something. ” he’s not going to let her do that this time, he’ll chase her down if he has to – they’re not done here. “ why do you feel the need to spread gossip about people? is that the only way anyone listens to you? nobody cares about what poor little tessa is up to, so you talk behind their backs? ” he’s inching closer, accusatory gestures continuing in a few different variations ; open hand slicing the air, a pointed finger, a perplexed one shouldered shrug. 

          “ you can’t get up the guts to hold a conversation with someone, so you find something to try and pin on them just so they’ll come to you to defend themself? ” gun cants his head and narrows his gaze – so close to the forbidden topic he can taste the regret and relief on his tongue already. “ is that it? you wanna talk to me, tessa? you wanna know what’s going on with all of these people who don’t give a damn about you? ” he leans in to an inappropriate proximity, intending to UNSETTLE her ; making a show of licking his lips halfway through his last sentiment just to drive home his point. “ you wanna know if i’m AVAILABLE, so you go around calling me a fag? well, i’m single, cooper : there’s your answer. ”

“are you fucking kidding me?” she could feel her blood running cold, a strange feeling like a cornered animal. “is that what you really think of me?” the reality of tessa cooper’s life began to set in. gun’s view of tessa was candid and authentic. “i don’t spread gossip, gun. you know nothing about me. i talk to two people at this school: remy and aubrey. i’ve never spread rumors about you.” she was growing more and more frantic to get away from the boy. “i never said you were gay. i just mentioned the gossip to you. i’m not the one who came up with that. the girl you’re protecting, emma... she said it in our english class. that’s how i knew about it, gun.” 

“get the fuck away from me!” shoving the boy away from her, she glanced around. tessa could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks. she was losing her grip on things again. “i know people don’t give a damn about me. i’m sorry i said the gay thing, but that was between you and i. no one else.” tessa had enough. grabbing her bag, she pushed her way past gun. the brunette shoved the door of the coffee shop she found herself in, walking home.

[tessajpg-blog]

terrormaker:

he set his second drink–mostly untouched–on the coffee table. he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, looking up at her for a change. he tried to feel something about their rapidly forming plan, something like horror or caution or … anything. no. nothing deal breaking. the most … maybe a little worry, for the logistical pitfalls, for the explaining they’d have to do if they got caught in the act. for the fact that he did not feel particularly hesitant. it was emma’s murder. her last moments on earth.

no one had forgotten what she had done to them or moved on. you just didn’t speak ill of the dead. “i can drive,” jay said, rooting around for that dizzy drunken feeling and finding himself strangely sober. alcohol, even liquor, took a minute to soak in, possibly because there was so much of him to be made drunk. “you’re gonna tell me where remy lives. you sure you wanna do this? did you–did you hate her?”

“i’m not even sure if i can remember where remy lives.” she shot the male a quick text, hoping he would be around to hand off the tape. when the screen lit up in response, she smiled. “yes. i’m sure.” the adrenaline that pumped through her veins was a foreign feeling. tessa never did anything like this. it was thrilling.

though, the question that followed cut all positive feelings short. “what?” her eyes darted to jay. “no. i didn’t hate her. i hate what she did. she was a bitch, yeah. but, i didn’t hate her. i don’t hate her. she was a person who made a lot of mistakes. that’s life, and certainly not a reason to hate someone.” she shrugged a bit, reflecting on her own words. “are you ready?”

[tessajpg-blog]

qveenvaleria:

val listened to tessa talk while tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, nodding. “I’m a traditional believer in the whole three sides to every story thing. your side, their side, & the truth. but no one would ever know the truth in your case, huh?? they’ve just gotta settle for your word against jay’s. or vice versa.” she shrugged then. val was typically good with words but she couldn’t find the proper way to not sound offense or anything. “I don’t know. guilt maybe?? remorse?? & not just because you got caught.”

“i’m not really fighting jay over who’s right and who’s wrong. he’s just mad that i let the secret slip, which he has every right to be.” tessa wished she could approach the male about the situation, but knew she should just keep quiet. “our stories can’t differ that much.” the girl’s next words caught her off guard, eliciting a puzzled look from tessa. “remorse? guilt? you aren’t very familiar with my relationship with emma, are you? i don’t feel bad.”

[tessajpg-blog]

rvcklcss:

“ yeah if it was about being liked, you’d be fucked. ” it’s the hardest thing not to let her hear what’s really on his mind, the things he can’t even say to himself yet ; a bitterness beyond petty gossiping and her own desecrating antics. “ you made your bed and now you have to lay in it – i don’t care who did what, or if you toss and turn awake at night because of your own shitty actions. ” he shakes his head with a huff of caustic laughter. the expression on his face one of thinly veiled scorn, that comes and goes with the tone of her words. “ the tension is your own damn fault, and a lazy apology and a few pathetic tears don’t change anything. ” brutal criticism comes naturally when she’s standing here in front of him, with the gall to assume he has sympathy for the girl who has none for anyone else.

what was she supposed to say? it felt like they had taken six steps back. the familiar, aggressive tone returned to gun’s voice. tessa felt uneasy as he laid into her, but listened. “i don’t know what you want me to say, gun.” shaking her head, the brunette grabbed her bag. moments like this caused the girl to panic. standing from her spot at the table, tessa glanced back at the male. “i’ll see you around, i guess.” she prayed she wouldn’t.

[tessajpg-blog]

rvcklcss:

OKAY ? it’s what’s on everyone’s minds these days – will they ever be okay again ? will this tumult ever calm back to what used to seem like such a trial : average teenage life. you’re supposed to feel like you’re standing on a ledge the whole time ; now they’d give anything for the old troubles in place of the new. “ i’m not crying, so that’s a start. ” he doesn’t mean it to sound RUDE. at least one of them can release the flood. “ look, i don’t hate you. you’re kind of a bitch, and i get why everyone else wants to see you CRUSHED or whatever. ” he shrugs and stares off to the side of her, not too comfortable studying the redness rising to the surface of her countenance, and circling heavier around her wetted eyes. the few times he’s seen someone cry have all been markedly unpleasant memories for him, he’s not exactly put at ease by it. “ but it’s high school, tess. nobody likes nobody. ” to defend his own wounded pride would be to admit there was some kind of weakness to be prodded at in the first place, so he can’t say what he REALLY wants to ; “ if you wanted someone to trust, maybe you should have picked a partner in crime who wasn’t so GUTLESS, before you went and ruined your chances with the rest of this school. ”

his words did nothing to comfort her, but she appreciate his honest. gun had never been the type of person to hold back as far as she knew. it wasn’t about being liked. if people didn’t like tessa, so be it. this was about a sort of redemption. she needed to feel like she righted her wrongs. tessa would not be remembered the way she remembered emma. “i’m not worried about being liked, gun. i just wanted to clear the air. i’m sick of the tension.” she smiled a bit. “and for the record, i’m the one who blew the secret. jay was an awesome partner.”