tetorisu

i've emerged

[tetorisuheddo]

in my dream i was in a church (which i never been in a church except for touristic reasons) and the priest was andrew scott and they were talking in latin and stuff. thanks phoebe waller-bridge

[tetorisuheddo]

PSA - I'M ENDING MARRIAGE INEQUALITY

i'm banning marriage - gay, straight, government issues, church, captain - boat. you can't marry anymore it's illegal - and to be fair gross.

if you're already married - get a divorce ASAP if you're married since before 1980 firstly eww, are you insane and secondly you'll also get a divorce. what if you don't have sexual intercourse without marriage so you have to marry? well though luck - it's illegal so it's invalid. also all your married parents are adulterers (not that i have any issues with it) cause their marriages are also illegal. "what about my wedding"? you don't get a wedding - weddings are extremely forbidden. you can celebrate you NON-MARRIAGE relationships with a cake and a really firm handshake but no weddings, honey moons etc.

also if you want to make children you can, children will choose their own surname at the age of 6 (i want to see some cool surnames).

anyways please spread this newly established law and refrain from marrying. also someone let my mom know she has to get a divorce - she is kind of into my dad still and if i tell her she'll scold me

[broccoli-bitching]

Have you ever been bitten by a white person?

Yes

No

Voting ended onSep 22, 2024

[broccoli-bitching]

No I will not explain why I'm asking

[broccoli-bitching]

I love how this post has become white people just admitting they bite people

[tetorisuheddo]

and they say white people can't handle spice y'all i'm hot as fucksicles

[tetorisuheddo]

one day, i shall dare to challenge the almighty, not to triumph nor to prove aught, but because it is merely the natural course of things. i shall perish, not by my own hand, nor shall death be my saviour, for god almighty, enthroned in infinity, endures beyond all. yet, i'm agog, unable to contain my restless anticipation… and when the stars align, i'll feast upon the heavens, gnawing at the edges of reality until nothing remains but the echoes of a god who knew not the taste of oblivion. this is the PLAN this is how things ends, not with a bang simply with ruthless infinity

[tetorisuheddo]

I might be high but I feel like the world is going to end if I don't eat this pizza roll. Like as if I'm saving the world by eating this pizza roll

[tetorisuheddo]

my partner bought me a really cute ravenclaw pin and i want to use it but i don't aggressively hate lgbtq+ members so... can we all agree harry potter series were written by the author of "my immortal" and jk row is just a republican senate on over the colonies or something? like if ALL of us agrees its basically reality right? also maybe we could fix quidditch

[tetorisuheddo]

every time i see a bloke who's like, definitely past middle-aged, just vibing on the street, the iconic clown music automatically starts playing in my head. it’s not even like i want it to, it’s just there, uninvited, turning my brain into a circus BUT IF THERE ARE TWO OF THEM oh boy, heavens sake the music is so much louder

[tetorisuheddo]

in a fever dream i had i was being sued by nintendo for being too retro which judge called it a cap and said "although the plaintiff has the original "retro" patent there is lack of evidence for the defendant's retro-ness - merely owning a gameboy color and occasionally playing tetris on it does not imply retro" so @nintendo send me a switch with some games and we're cool

[herpsandbirds]

These practices are very disruptive and destructive for a wide variety of aquatic creatures.

via: National Park Service

[tetorisuheddo]

anti-beaver propaganda smh

[tetorisuheddo]

i'm a pacifist, i don't believe in violence but violence believes in me so don't test me or i'll get in the ZONE and when i'm in the ZONE i punch, kick and do ALL the things those boxing people do

[tetorisuheddo]

god almighty created us gracefully, but honestly, a bit boring - so we had to go feral and rebrand ourselves to be zesty. it's not rebellion per se more of a creative tantrum

[tetorisuheddo]

a freaky friday/body swap movie but both are nft bros. absolutely no one even notices the switch because they've got no friends, no distinctive traits, and zero personality. they just keep going about their lives, hyping up pixelated monkeys and overpriced jpegs, not noticing they changed bodies

[tetorisuheddo]

i just heard about dashcon 2 so here's my predictions/wishes:

a smaller ball pit

a strange aeons shrine, dedicated to the patron saint of defending the hollow shell of what was once tumblr

this time, an authentic british-accented person

some proper food? like actual food this time, OR limited rations as a hunger games-style competition prize

actual superwholock fans, with some safety measures since they’re practically a rare breed now (also maybe a fence to protect visitors from the superwholock fans)

tramp stamps concert - instead of bracelets, every attendee gets a (optional temporary tattoo or a sticker to pop on your outfit) tramp stamp tattoo with “TAMPONS” or “J-GREEN IS MY BB” or something along those lines

an even smaller ball pit

a presidential shoelace-stealing mini-game where you do some parkour in an oval office-themed area - plot twist, the president’s wearing velcro shoes and you get tackled by a swat team

[tetorisuheddo]

i am absolutely convinced that anyone who doesn’t recognise the undeniable brilliance of rearranging their bookshelves in alphabetical order by the second letter of the author’s surname is a hopelessly lost cause. these people are a scourge on society, and frankly, they deserve nothing but a lifetime of chaotic, disorganised bookshelves that reflect their lack of intellect. their failure to appreciate the sheer elegance of this system is beyond comprehension. now, there might be the faintest, most fleeting whisper in the back of my mind that I could be slightly off-kilter here—but honestly, that’s just a passing thought, barely worth acknowledging.