Theo

Here lies my depressed thoughts

[tewtewteo]

Sino nga ba ako sa tatlong taon na ‘yon?

It just felt so fast and idk who I am now or who I ever was. It’s so hard.

[tewtewteo]

Hi Tumblr!

Didn’t realize that I haven’t talked with you for a while. Well, I’m backa dn ChatGPT will be our friend HAHA

[tewtewteo]

Now that we’re not together. Where does all the love go?

Ang dami na pala talaga natin napagdaanan at napagsamahan in the past 3 years. I can’t believe that right now it seems like it’s nothing. Have I lied all along for the sake of companionship? Or is it the familiarity of staying to someone regardless of who they are?

Looking at out photos, malunggkot din pala na nandito ka pero wala na

[quotemadness]

Time always exposes what you mean to someone.

Unknown

[tewtewteo]

Every day, my love becomes less.

This is my fact. My feelings for you decrease and you perfectly know how to do it every time. Every action you make and every word that comes out from your mouth. It's making me feeling like I'm forced to be in a relationship.

[tewtewteo]

10/08/2023 08:07 AM

I really don’t think that I am someone who’s worth the talk. Anything I’s say won’t be valid enough for you. It’s not enough to be an eye-opener or to be justified. Since it will always lead to the question, “sino ka ba?”, “ano na bang narating mo?”, or “hindi ka naman kasi ganito or ganyan para maintindihan mo”. It’s really invalidating. It just really feels like you’re not worthy enough nor will ever be worthy. It’s so hard to make you believe or even think to the slightes the point I want to make.

[salmonbyte]

my body is and always will be my own., digital media, 2022 - by danny

[tewtewteo]

Toxic ko lagi sa part na everytime na may inconvenience gusto ko makipagbreak huhu. pero hehe di ako nakikipagbreak. sinabi ko pa nga kanina na if i had the ability to make babies. ill have his. LOL

[tewtewteo]

I just feel so tired. I feel so tired with my life I am living right now. I know I should do things and get things done so I can have a more comfortable setting. View-wise. I should go to the gym, have fund available for me. PEro sometimes, my boyfriend just gets so overwhelming and exhausting, instead of focusing on mysef. Madals gusto niya involved pa rin ako or lagi akong anndiyan or dapat alam ko na lahat. I understand that he's going through hard shit pero paano naman ako na i keep adjusting. I keep having hard times because of it. I just want to space out and stop. Im exhausted

[tewtewteo]

It hurts to feel not to be seen, especially by the person you love. He tries so much yet I feel so unseen and unloved. What's wrong.

I know we have problems in regards with our dissimilarities, sex, opinions, mindset, culture, and intake. A lot is different, but it is for a fact that it can be worked out. But why is it so hard even after 8 months, and almost a year of being together.

-----

SIyempre bigla akong na addict sa reels and hindi ko na natapos to

[tewtewteo]

You're not the most understanding person. You make me sad. I feel like in my every action I can make a mistake and you won't seem to understand or love me. Why is that so?

[tewtewteo]

Hello Tumblr, today is 7:17 in the morning. Just a few minutes from the chat that A and I had.

A declared that there's this guy at work that he didnt want me to talk to. I did say out of what's his pressuring me to, and said yes. He didnt want me to talk to him because the guy stalked me and had some information about me that was very specific and A didnt like that.

I'm honestly settling with the thought that he is insecure, scared, or does not trust me.

Tho, hed did hammer in my head to not speak with him since he was sus for him.

So now, someone told him that R and I had a small talk. Now, he is angry. I honestly wanted to talk to him after his shift because I didnt want to bother him while he was working cause I know it would build so much to him.

And now, he feels like shit because I answered R's questions. In my defense. I do not know howto avoid someone or not talk to someone.

Honestly, I feel annoyed because I see this as a petty thing and I feel like im not understood because that's how i am and i respond at most and i dont like elephants in a room. Moreover, I just dont get him. Why him and why now when so many people have talked to me and stalked me.

I see the signs that are alike to Prince and I dont feel comfortable. Let's give it 3 months and if he has not changed and i still feel like im fenced. Then, I'm sorry, but a relationship or person who i dont feel safe to, is not the relationship or person i want to be with.

Check on Aug 17, 2023

[akindplace]

Seconds apart on instagram

[tewtewteo]

make me letters

[tewtewteo]

Just a thought, I have never actually shared A here. We have been together for a while. We have been through some ups and downs already, actually. And we're almost 5 months together.

A and I met on Grindr. We talked when I and D were getting desperate and wanted to build a throuple-- to save our falling relationship. But we were just casual.

A and I became friends starting from September to December. He had feelings for me. But then developed deeper in December where he courted me, and I said yes on January 1st.

Why am I writing this? This is to share that I and A are not perfect and he annoys me and makes me feel like shit at most. But he always tries and as well takes the best out of me.

Just right now, since we are always together. I kind of lose some of my usuals. Like writing and saving money. That actually frustrates me. But I just think that it's only for the meanwhile and that when A gets the chance to study again. He'll be very busy. That's all

[tewtewteo]

Ang tagal ko na pala dito. Grabe, time flies to fast. I should always update this talaga.

[tewtewteo]

It bothers me

It has been 6 months since I discovered I have an STD. I do not know who gave this to me. It's not the type that can actually make things worse for me, but it's still aligned with the immune system like HIV. Though, it's not HIV. But it has a suppression method. And until now, I have not got it. I want it so bad. Just now, I had a dream, and it all went back on how I felt when I first knew about it. It's sad and scary.

I want that vaccine so bad. I need it. I want to be me. It's honestly like handcuffs to me.