Xybium

your loser best friend

[jenny-jinya]

Don’t be sad if you were alone on Valentine’s Day, even death didn’t have a date </3 WEBTOON

[jenny-jinya]

TW: animal death / injury / death For grandma, who loved pigeons, and for grandpa, who did not but wanted her to be happy. Please hear me out <3 WEBTOON

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Yet if I were a young man traveling in a foreign country where religious villagers kept warning me not to visit a mysterious nobleman (but refused to even speak of what precisely was so scandalous about his nature) my first thought would be less "the Count is a supernatural being who will murder me and my loved ones" and more "the Count is an infamous homosexual and the repressed villagers fear for my chastity, I am surely in danger of seduction 😏😏😏"

[kinsey3furry300]

The rumor spreads, dozens come. Dracula is soon waking up in the evening to find yet another flamboyantly dressed Byronic young Englishman on the Grand Tour just wandering around his house with roses and chocolates and he’s like: “How the heck do these things keep getting in? Shoo! Shoo, this isn’t a bloody bathhouse, and- get of the chaise lounge, that’s an antique! Honestly, This happens every spring, I really need to invest in better pest-proofing!”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#Dracula fighting off scores of regency era bottoms who desperately want to get railed by him is the funniest fucking thing ever

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the tags continue to destroy me:

#dracula being the only top in transylvania is the funniest thing

[easyvirgin-deactivated20160413]

happy Thursday the 20th

[askjennaflorida]

I’d have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?

[mx-mythical-deactivated20260319]

next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th

August 2015

October 2016

April 2017

July 2017

September 2018

December 2018

June 2019

February 2020

August 2020

You know, just in case you wanted to set your queue for the next 6 years

[itsquietinsantafe2]

TODAY

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

Since it’s now August 20, 2020… The next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th:

May 2021

January 2022

October 2022

April 2023

July 2023

June 2024

February 2025

March 2025

November 2025

August 2026

If you wanted to set your queue for the next six years.

[indigos-shits-and-giggles-deact]

THANK WHATEVER COSMIC BEING IS OUT THERE THAT THIS CAME UPON MY DASH HAPPY THURSDAY THE 20TH!!!!

[wolfram-petanu]

happy Thursday the 20th guys

[fizzimus]

Holy shit, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Tumblr post with this many notes. See you all in April!

[alpa-the-internet-cowboy]

HAPPY THURSDAY THE 20TH @hellsite-hall-of-fame

[najd-social-club]

My mental health is absolutely testing me again.

[najd-social-club]

[najd-social-club]

"Stop bouncing ur leg" bro i have anxiety

[1800snostalgia]

Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears

Follow for more 1800s nostalgia

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

#who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x)

[luanna801]

So actually these photos were taken by the kid’s uncle, Alphonse Bertillon, who was a French police officer and inventor of the mug shot. These photos were just taken as a joke, probably when Bertillon was developing his mugshot technique and needed someone to practice on.

No actual two-year-olds were arrested in the creation of these photos!

[albaficalover]

“1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course

[onion-souls]

There was also an 1893

[love-god-herself-deactivated202]

From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today. 

[love-god-herself-deactivated202]

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

This is worse than the math post

[keagan-ashleigh]

Just to rectify a little thing: the baby isn’t mentioned to be 2 years old but 2 months old (“âgé de deux mois”, mois means month in french).

[carolxdanvers]

Have you ever seen a baby

[firelxdykatara]

ok yes mois means months, but the number there is twenty-three (aka roughly two years) not two

what two-month-old is that size with that much hair lmfao

[elodieunderglass]

In my experience two year olds can only manage one or two pears before slumping to the floor like fruit bats too heavy to fly, so that’s the next part of this very simple post we should focus on

[thedepressionoftrees]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[undercovertacobell]

So there's only one channel in this motel,

This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street.

They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh.

Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”

[robbidybobbin]

LITERALLY MY FAVORITE STORY ON ALL OF TUMBLR.

[sunshinetheinspiration]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[virtuallyinsane-autumn]

[http-witchy-wonders]

[mired-in-halloween]

Noël ILL Art

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today i stared into a pelican mouth for too long and had a derealization episode 

[theobeo]

Please tell us how the hell you got into this situation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i stared into a pelican mouth for so long it altered my perception of the external world as a objective place, leading to feelings of unreality and confusion

[atotalmess]

No the pelican

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Oh. you could have just said

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

humanity deserved to be abandoned actually

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes i forget bear paws are that big

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

when you want to go home, but home doesn't exist yet

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

when home is a place in your future, walls you have yet to decorate, beloveds you have yet to meet. when home is unpainted walls and unhung wallpaper and objects on a shelf in the back of your mind, a thousand small memories you can't remember because they haven't happened yet, because you are still in the process of building the foundations, still gathering your materials together

when you can't return home because first you have to build home

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

older i get the more i understand supervillains. if i woke up one day with magic powers my first instinct would absolutely be "do crime and cause problems on purpose"

[aikrathecat]

Be they do crime

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you get me

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

do u think Tinkerbell ever just fuckin bit people? she's tiny, angry, and easily mistaken for an insect, surely she gave into that tempation

[elfwreck]

Tinkerbell canonically bites people.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

she canonically lovingly bites people on the nose

[thelockenessmonster]

She's the real reason captain hook's hand is gone

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#fully headcanon Tink as a having the personality of a feral house cat that lives under the porch of someone that leaves food out for it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh good tags

#biting people on the nose and calling them a silly ass before making my way over to my deathbed

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Disney you corporate fuck face LET TINKERBELL SAY ASS