How it all started.
At about the age of 13, Adam started noticing girls in a sexual way. I knew this because I still did his laundry at the time and one day I found unusual stains on his sheets, I suspected he masturbated but I understood that he finished in Kleenex (we went through a lot of Kleenex in his room), but on his sheets? I figured this meant he had a “wet dream.” My kid was even dreaming sex. What a funny feeling or thought. The idea that my snot nosed, little bug eater was growing up. Without understanding it, he was following evolutionary instinct to reproduce, he was thinking of sex. My only son, my Adam, was becoming a sexual being. I would smile to myself while folding laundry or making dinner, when I thought of the wonderful pleasures my little man would experience. I would sometimes giggle out loud when I thought of the embarrassing moments ahead of him, the uncontrollable erections in school or at the mall. I still smirk at that image. You poor guys have such little control when puberty hits. And Adam was no different. Hell, I probably exacerbated the issue for him (ok now I feel guilty).
I found it fun and a little naughty to point out good looking or sexy women on TV or at the mall and then make comment about what they would like sexually or what they might be good at doing to a man, planting the seeds in his hormone drenched brain. Then came the day that I caught Adam’s eyes on me, I have always felt comfortable with my body at home with my kids and hubby, but when Adam was caught staring at my cleavage I found myself putting on looser tops and leaning over for him to ogle me and was strangely satisfied when I saw the bulge grow in his shorts.
This torturous form of teasing continued through the next 3 years and in a natural progression it kind of escalated. Ok ok ok I did escalate the situation, I became bolder in my comments or questions and more risqué in my actions. I would not only notice his erections, but I would comment on them, saying things like, “Ooo big boy” or “oh what a girl could do with that.” He would turn so red, it was precious. My little man had a crush on me and he was so easily embarrassed. When hubby was away or ignoring me I’d go braless under my night t-shirt, continuing my campaign of leaning over in front of my son, giving him a great view. On more than one occasion when I caught him looking I would just pull my shirt collar aside and flash a boob at him, which sent him red faced to his room. Looking back it must have been very uncomfortable for him, he didn’t understand what was happening and I took advantage of that. Knew he couldn’t control his body during puberty (hell many full grown men can’t) and using his hormone drenched brain against him, I may not have controlled his thoughts, but I sure as hell directed them. Maybe I am not the good mother I always thought I was.
I didn’t stop there, I continued to fluster my son and I added hid friends if they were around, the control was so intoxicating, sitting in the pool or hot tub with them knowing none would get out to leave because of the raging boner they had for ME. This still goes on in some form today. When Adam was about 16 I noticed that my panties would disappear from the laundry only to reappear days later. I began to suspect my son of stealing to masturbate with them or show them to friends. On the day after Valentine’s day (before Adams 17th birthday) I purposefully checked for my special panties that I had worn on my dinner date with my hubby before my obligatory sex with him. While the house was empty I searched his room and I found them!
That is where my stories pick up…
