texts from kristy

texts from kristy, aka tfk, is a blog about the things that happen to kristy. sometimes they are funny. sometimes they are sad. but in general, they are always hilarious and we are glad they don't happen to us. Submissions are very welcomed! var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-20936063-2']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

[textsfromkristy-blog]

"Too many free drinks. You're the best. Awoopoof frendo." "You were so close to a normal text."

5'2 + tequila

[textsfromkristy-blog]

I always forget ONE thing whenever I go grocery shopping so I made sure to write out a list this time. I forgot the shopping list

[textsfromkristy-blog]

some people have these amazing laughs soft, musical, perfectly-pitched that are like gifts they're bestowing to the world. but this lady in my office has a laugh like a dying hyena

tfk #103458

[textsfromkristy-blog]

Whyyyyy my life

tfk #987

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I might have scratched the car next to mine when I opened the door but that's ok

tfk 946

[textsfromkristy-blog]

This is why I can't live in la anymore.. Just took an embarrassing amount of time to parallel park. After hitting the curb. Twice.

tfk #2019

[textsfromkristy-blog]

when I am financially sane again I will take care of you and you can be a couch surfer here I'll feed you at least one meal a day unless you like cereal then that's like 5

tfk #543

[textsfromkristy-blog]

It's not good enough to take my youth, they (insert name of some sort of corporate devil) wanted my happiness too

tfk #24524

[textsfromkristy-blog]

I'll sleep when I'm dead Or after I fail, whichever comes first

tfk #249075

[textsfromkristy-blog]

I forgot I lost my silver pass so I didn't go to disneyland either. I drove all the way to OC to find that out.

tfk #491

[textsfromkristy-blog]

I will never lose that 20 lbs now thanks to nutella but that's okay I

tfk #193

[textsfromkristy-blog]

I wanted to buy a THANKSGIVING tofurkey with stuffing and all cause that's how you eat that shit but noooo it's nowhere to be found damn you capitalist america

tfk #294

[textsfromkristy-blog]

I am outraged hahaha seriously there are really no asian markets around here or boba shops it's weird is this what the rest of america is like?

tfk #250

[textsfromkristy-blog]

OH MY GOD IT HURTS it started peeling a bit and it looked really funny so I helped the peeling along BAD IDEA I'M ALL RED NOW i'm gonna tell my boss it's an allergic reaction so I can go home HURTS LIKE HELL

tfk #592

[textsfromkristy-blog]

Just got a reminder email about the test. As if I could forget about the looming darkness on my life

tfk #194

[textsfromkristy-blog]

may 29, 8am. doomsday is coming.

tfk #5298

[textsfromkristy-blog]

Meeting with supervisor and recruiter this week. It's like a parent teacher meeting.

tfk #4521