The Good, The Bad, and then Me

i'm so original omg

[tgtbatm]

#12

I'm taking a break from revising, and I may as well admit I'm procrasatinating; I have a story to tell you all. (It's not very funny, sorry...)

Three years ago this September, I moved to London for university.

Today, was the first time I encountered what I can only call overt xenophobia in London.

This morning, I went on a run (I know, you're all impressed). About halfway through, a man shouted out "Get out of London" and made a very rude, and quite frankly, racist gesture.

I use the term xenophobia, because I can only hope that today was the result of ignorance breeding fear, and not because someone thought they were worth more than me, or had more right to be here than me. We can help ignorance, and I'd like to believe that people aren't bad.

Part of me wishes I'd stopped and talked to that man, and asked him:

Does my ethnicity mean that I am less of a person?

Is a person's contribution to society purely down to race?

What makes your life worth more than mine?

Don't get me wrong, I have experienced subtle racism throughout my life. I have also been beeped at, wolfwhistled at, had "ni hao" shouted at me (all things for another time).

Never before has anyone ever told me I shouldn't be here.

I am proud to be of Chinese ethnicity and Mauritian descent. Normally, I am proud to be a British citizen, but if this behaviour is what it means to be one, I'm not so sure. Today was the first time in a long time that I felt deeply uncomfortable being in London. Between this, the EU referendum and junior doctor contracts, Britain is becoming an advertisement for emigration (to other countries).

My question is: Britain, y u do dis?!

P.S. I realise that most of friends are very tolerant people, and this in no way should be a reflection on the general state of affairs. Unfortunately, we can't ignore some sad realities.

[tgtbatm]

#11

Today, is the last day of Lent.

And with it, the last day of my abstinence from alcohol.

This isn’t a post designed to preach. It’s really just a post to record what I’ve learnt personally from not drinking for a period of time, when normally I do.

It’s been an interesting month and a bit. I originally suggested it as an off-the-cuff comment to the general question “What are you giving up for Lent?”, then was challenged to put my money where my mouth is; that, and I’m too stubborn to back down.

Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t easy, but not because I’m an alcoholic (I think). Society and socialising nowadays, especially at university, involves a lot of alcohol. Most of my friends drink, when places are chosen to go out to, there is alcohol served, and many nights out start off with a cheeky predrink. I made an effort to still go to social gatherings even if alcohol was a large component. In some ways, it was a real eye-opener, especially without the haze of a content amount of tipsiness to slightly blur the memory. I even went on a beer race with my housemates because I’d promised to months before.

If anything, this has forced me to evaluate what role alcohol plays in my life. And also suggested that I do more things without alcohol. I still had a lot of fun even when not drinking, got better sleep and wasn’t completely dying the next day. It did highlight the importance of having friends that you can actually converse with without alcohol to cease the buzzing noise you hear when they talk. I wish I could tell you that I had a huge epiphany, but realistically, it was a pretty normal few weeks requiring just that little bit of extra willpower. The most difficult times were under social pressure, especially when some of my friends saw it as a challenge to try and get my to drink.

[Little anecdote: My housemate actually offered me chocolate before realising that it contained cherry liquer and promptly took it away. Who does that? So cruel.]

I don’t think I’ll stop drinking. I’m quite partial to a casual drink at the pub now and then, but not drinking isn’t such a bad option either. I’d actually recommend that regular drinkers try it for a while. And overall, I’m glad I stopped for 40 days and 40 nights.

[tgtbatm]

31/08/2015

The Good 

more of a fyi, but in case you didn’t know, there are so many things to do in london. and for free. you just have to hunt around.

there are lots of parks (although knowing the british weather you should also plan for an indoor lunch just in case) and in which case, you just need decent company.

as the weather does get worse though, there are some really cool things like late nights at various museums around the city. i’ve been to the one at the science museum, and it’s a lot of fun. you can even drink as they have bars set up especially. i think these are a great opportunity to be a child and explore things not just for educational purposes but to see all the really cool things that may gave astounded you once when you were younger. i can’t say whether the alcohol had a part in it too, but i would definitely recommend!

also, another top tip: be spontaneous. if you see an event happening, you hear of something going on, check it out! there’s always lots of stuff floating about on social media. maybe even try out something apart from a rooftop bar for once. there are lots of culinary pop up events, and even wandering around a market can be really enjoyable.

basically, wherever you are, go have fun.

The Bad

so i was procrastinating, as per, and came across this youtube video and it actually made a very valid point. a lot of sexism nowadays isn’t so blatant. in some countries it’s made perfectly clear, but in the so-called ‘developed’ world, it takes on much more subtle forms.

i don’t know who thought up this ideal of a woman, to have big boobs and a tiny waist and flowing hair and many, many other things, but they were probably best friends with the inventor of barbie.

it’s everywhere.

from dolls, to the cut of clothes we buy, to the people we place highly in our esteem. i’m not going to spend a long time on a rant about how society places impossible ideals on women. and, in some respects, this also applies to men.

for such variation, intrinsically, we are all the same. we are humans. and that means, by such definition (to me at least), that we are all different and this ideology, this fixation on being something we can never achieve is unhealthy. what many people forget is that what you see in other people is what they want you to see, and rarely the whole picture.

people have heard by now about most, if not all, arguments. but i will say this.

placing perfect and definite expectations on an imperfect and indefinite species will never end well.

and i really hope that slowly, society can progress in a way that leads to an appreciation of everyone.

...and then me

i moved back to uni today. and the best thing is, i have half decent internet again.

(my life has some thrilling highlights, i know)

i’m not ashamed to admit that i really do love having the internet sometimes. but it can also serve as a huge procrastination. like everything in ife, in moderation, my dear.

[tgtbatm]

24/08/2015

So, this is also going to be another unconventional post of mine. But I felt like it needed to be typed, even though I'm pretty tired. Bear with me while I set the scene. After just rewatching a rerun of an old Sherlock episode, because, why not, I then go for a shower. (I shower in the evenings, weird, I know.) After my relaxing shower, I decide to go back downstairs, have a drink (non alcoholic, for those of you who clearly want to know), and catch the last bit of the 10 o clock news on the BBC. Wow, a piece of migrants. Topical, important, and making people aware of other countries. Good job, BBC. But then I make the mistake of continuing to watch. And what do I see? A segment on One Direction. One direction. Now this news piece tells me pretty much everything about the story of One Direction. There's some footage of Simon Cowell thrown in there. There's Harry Styles kissing a camera at some red carpet event. There's a fangirl on the verge of tears, telling viewers how she received a text from her friend all in capitals (God forbid), and her friend sounded "very upset". I know I sound very harsh. 14 year old girls still in love with the posters on their wall of Zayn Malik still make up some of the public. And it was the last segment. Hey, maybe it was just a slow news day. But what gets me about this, is the importance it has stressed upon these figures of pop culture and what they've also taken away from the other news stories of the time. How they can justify the breaking up of a boy band being worthy of such a huge chunk of news time, I don't know. I understand that there is a demand out there for this type of 'news'. Heck, even if they wanted to briefly mention it somewhere, but BRIEFLY, I would l wouldn't mind so much. However, ending it with the words "fans are clinging on to the word hiatus", and almost implying that all will be right in the world again once One Direction reform, seems almost unreal whilst people around the world are clinging onto their lives. Normally I am all for the BBC, don't get me wrong. But today, they made me sad.

[tgtbatm]

21/08/2015

Location: Stuck in the lunch room, by myself. Mainly because I know no one in the room. Sure I recognise some faces, but definitely not on familiar enough terms in order to go and eat in front of them. There are just some things that you shouldn't do. Reminds me of something that happened a little while ago now. A group of us from one of the societies I do were having a pub lunch. One of the guys that I was vaguely acquainted with, came and sat right in front of me, when I had just received my meal from the waiter. Now my question is, what on earth would possess a person to choose that seat?! I guess I will never know. But it was quite possibly one of the most excruciating ten minutes of my life. Not only was I having to interact whilst eating (and I'm not the most attractive of people at the best of times) but I was also having to find small talk with an almost stranger. I guess my point is, if you ever find yourself in the same position as the guy in this story, PLEASE FIND ANOTHER SEAT. It's not because I don't like you. It's because I just want to eat my dinner... Sorry for the short lunchtime anecdote, life is pretty hectic. I'll write a proper post soon, with more important and interesting content.

[tgtbatm]

18/08/2015

Bit of an early post today…

The Good

People care. About these terrapins in Spain actually. It’s a cute idea, and it looks like they’re going to be saved. Admittedly it’s not sustainable to keep adding more in, but let’s hope that people’s goodwill keeps the terrapins with a home.

At least until I’ve had a chance to go and visit them hehe.

The Bad

Today, I’m going to talk about social taboo. Specifically to do with recent comments regarding periods and breastfeeding. Yes, that’s right, I said periods and breast in the same sentence. Oh the audacity. Oh the horror. Oh the shame. Don’t worry peeps, I am being sarcastic. But trump’s recent comments about “bleeding from whatever” and dyke’s comments about women breastfeeding being “unnatural” highlight a huge social problem. Social convention of never mentioning anything to do with puberty, or sex, means that they become warped and children have to find out from sources which can sometimes be less than reliable. I’m not saying that children should be told as soon as they turn five, but within reason, channels for dialogue about these things need to be a lot more open.

Periods are natural. And if you don’t want the human race to die out, they’re going to keep happening.

Breastfeeding is natural. Contrary to what some may believe, breasts aren’t just there for people to stare at, they actually have a function, TO FEED SMALL BABIES.

My point is, I’m not saying that these things need to be constantly talked about. But they do need to be talked about, without social repercussions. The way to try and reduce prejudice and ignorance is to facilitate adequate education on these issues.

…and then me

I officially have my new new phone, and got whatsapp finally. And, with getting back whatsapp, I also got a bunch of messages. Group chats are the worst, when you get messages that don’t even concern you.

I’m going to try and post some photos from now on.

[tgtbatm]

14/08/2015

Ok, so once again, I'm posting on the other (arguably better) side of midnight. Oops. Also, I finally have a new phone, which isn't operational as a phone, but I can still use tumblr so all is fine, but this means that it keeps putting in the capitals for me. The Good They released a show called Very British Problems. It's immediately pretty much every thought I've ever had having to grow up in British society. I'm not saying that it's ok to do these things, but I can totally empathise. It really is tricky territory when you've been talking to someone for half an hour and you still have no idea what their name is! Ironically, it will probably force British people to talk about their feelings about these entrenched social norms. Something that typically British people aren't meant to be able to do. Having said that, I can't talk about my feelings. In fact, I just don't have them. The Bad Today (or rather yesterday) saw many students across the country freaking out over a level results. This means that unfortunately you're going to have to hear me moan now about one of the most complained about subjects in the world. That's right. Universities. Uh oh, here we go. Bit of background: I like that I can go to uni. I am at uni. I am aware that it costs a hell of a lot more in America. I still have to do pay a lot of money, ok, so let me complain in peace. Just because you have higher tuition fees, doesn't mean mine is any less. I still have to deal with that too. We should be allies instead of arguing over who is the most pain from desperately seeking an education to let us slave away for the next half a century. Basically the crux of what I have to say is this: the more you make us pay, the more elitist uni will become. It seems that the government really cannot deal in anything but extremes. It oscillates between full fee paying, down to free uni, and even lower to grants, only to realise that it has no money left. And in a knee jerk reaction, cause future generations to pay much more, with no foreseeable respite from the ever rising price of a degree. When you strangle the education of future generations with impossible financial demands on them, forcing them to claim debts, when debts were the cause of the need to drastically reduce money for higher education, you are being short sighted. There are no two ways about it. Breath. Phew. P.s. Congrats everyone who got to uni where they wanted. Don't get too wasted. ...and then me I went off on one so much I can't really remember what I was going to write about today. Oops. May as well just ramble for a little bit now then. Summer is quickly approaching its end. Life just seems to fly by sometimes and I think, whilst it is important to remember reflect, you gotta fly with it too. Make the most of it, and all that jazz. Find something that means something to you. Doing all the fun stuff you can find has its place in leading you to new things, but personally anyway, it's nice to have something that means something to you. That you can look back on and say that you did it. And didn't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Make a start on that bucket list instead of writing it in a pretty font and posting it on tumblr. Go on, do it, I dare you.

[tgtbatm]

11/08/2015

The Good

there have been articles floating about on social media recently about shakespeare potentially being high. i find this an entirely amusing idea, especially if you imagine him in all his frilly garb saying something like “i do believe thy hands are huuuuge”.

it is odd how some things can snowball. someone, somewhere, read shakespeare’s work and decided that he has one of the greatest writers of all time; this idea was perpetuated, and now poor students all over the world are made to try and decipher what the hell he was on about. and now it appears that he may very well have been high at the time of writing.

just a thought, but who decided he was so great?!

The Bad 

according to this link, it’s useless to try and hold yourself together. and according to this link, i probably need to get rid of a lot of things.

“what’s so bad about these links?” you might be thinking.

whilst i know what they’re both getting at, i think i’m probably still not going to listen to them. there are sooo many links, blogs, articles, just trying to entice an audience and tell people what to do. in all honesty, i’m pretty tired of people telling me what to do. people telling me what’s missing from my life. people telling me that i should something diferently and i’ll definitely be a much better person for it.

oh shit, here was me, thinking i was a rubbish person.

damn it, looks like i’m going to stay a rubbish person.

i think people can be so focused on other people’s ideas, and bucket lists, and way of living, that they sometimes forget that they’re entitled to make their own. it’s perfectly ok to advise, when appropriate, but sometimes you just gotta go your own way. *cue fleetwood mac*

...and then me

advice of the day: if you’re not prepared to have your blood pressure raised by other people, don’t join a committee.

people are all about the teamwork and getting involved nowadays, but let me tell you, i did not sign up for this amount of stress when i agreed to run for the position. these things always seem like a great idea at the time, and then the actualisation happens, and as usual, i’m screwed. and not in the good way.

[tgtbatm]

10/08/2015

this post is really meant for yesterday, but i wasn’t really planning on posting it until i couldn’t sleep.. so here it is, written by a half asleep me.

The Good

Singapore is celebrating its 50th birthday. it’s a great little country, one that i enjoyed going to. they’re really trying, with their efforts to have an iconic statue (the merlion) and they’re work-hard attitude, it’s actually got a pretty low crime rate and a cute mascot. like every country it will have its flaws, but i like the clean, safe, urban jungle vibe that it has as you walk through the heart of the city/country.

so happy birthday singapore!

The Bad

well, kind of. It’s more of a potential bad thing. Japan remembered the bombing of Nagasaki yesterday, and it’s been 70 years. however, since then, japan has been one of the most peaceful countries, but recently, japan’s prime minister has suggested some less than peaceful constitutional changes. whilst i don’t think new generations should forever spend their lives paying for the crimes of their ancestors, i think it’s highly important that they learn from them instead, and remember why the constitution was put there in the first place. come on, japan, let’s try and make the world a happy place, please?

...and then me

i started going to the gym. for anyone who knows me, they’ll know that that sounds crazy. but oddly enough, i’m actually feeling a bit better physically, and i’m reducing the chance of me never seeing my toes again.

i know this may sound bad, but i’m not fat. i know i’m not, and i won’t insult people’s intelligence by saying so. that isn’t to say that i would like to be a bit fitter, maybe have a flatter stomach, but those cakes are so damn irresistable. the problem is, when i say that i need to watch what i eat a bit more, or do a bit more exercise, i get told to be quiet, i get told that i don’t need to do that and i could eat pizzas for days without being fat. whilst they are almost certainly exaggerating for effect, it’s not the point. i don’t want to reach a point where i am unhealthy. when you learn about the factors for health problems, obesity is normally a sure fire bet. also, what’s wrong with being a bit healthy from time to time?

basically what i’m saying is, it doesn’t kill you to be healthy every once in a while. and the idea that being obese is healthy, is wrong. just like how not eating enough of everything and being super skinny is also wrong.

[tgtbatm]

06/08/2015

The Good 

i signed into twitter today, and was pleasantly surprised to be greeted with a tweet from one of my old school friends which was in support of women in engineering. she is currently studying engineering herself, and i think it is great. especially following the debacle of Tim Hunt, i like that something positive is coming out of something it. i would always encourage women to get into science. then again, i would encourage anyone interested in science to get involved. science has always been classically dominated by men, and it is only now that we are starting to see some real progress in equality.

this does not mean that i think that women should be allowed in before men who are more scientifically deserving.

constantly fighting for women’s rights can sometimes mean that the overall aim of equal opportunities for everyone can get lost. look at my idealism and naivety rearing its head again.

The Bad

tube strikes. disrupting the entire city of london and just generally being a huge pain in the ass. i know i might be being naive, but being paid £50k to drive a train that is actually almost self-automated isn’t enough?! i know people who work a lot harder, who have had to work a lot harder to get where they are now, and earn nowhere near enough, and work many more hours. in a country where a city bows down to the demands of these tube drivers and is in outrage against nursing staff getting a small raise in wages just to keep in line with cost of living, it truly baffles me.

some people just don’t know when they on to a good thing.

don’t get me wrong, i respect them for working, i respect them for not being on benefits, i respect them for getting me where i need to be (generally) on time. but i do not respect them for demanding more, especially at a time where other professionals are probably more deserving. what gives me the right to decide who is worth more you might ask? no one. but it’s just my personal opinion. also, they should just make all the trains automated like the DLR if it’s going to be like that. just saying.

...and then me

i am an avid watcher of tv. i can’t even deny it. and when what happened in season 11 of grey’s anatomy happened, i couldn’t quite believe it. i mean, here is the justification from the show’s writer here.

[yes, it has a huge spoiler, don’t click on it if you plan to watch the show]

but i think there is something to be said for her reasoning. and i think it’s really intriguing how people love to watch these kind of shows, and get so emotionally invested. i guess that that’s the skill of the writer, and i think the one thing that really captures an audience is raw emotion. in a world where we are pressured to be perfection at every moment, it’s refreshing, even comforting to see that other people break down and cry, they get stressed, and no, that doctor you saw for 15 minutes might not necessarily have the perfect life, despite his perfect hair.

[tgtbatm]

05/08/2015

The Good

i know this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but let me tell you, it is to an awful lot of british people. it may sound mad, but, the great british bake off is back.yes, i know what you’re thinking if you’re not british: that is the most violently british program ever made.

the hockey tour i went on earlier this year had the theme of GBBO. our team name was even #JusticeForIain.

if i’m honest, this isn’t a life-changing piece of news, but i think if it makes people happy, then why not? also, who doesn’t love cake?!

The Bad

the children’s charity, Kids Company has closed down today, despite receiving a recent grant from the government trying to save it. from what i can gather, it may not have been managed well, especially financially, but the fallout isn’t going to hurt the people at the top who caused it, but the children who relied on it. maybe Kids Company wasn’t the solution, but at least they were trying.

perhaps it’s just me with my idealism and baby faced look on the world (i actually do have a baby face, it’s annoying being ID’d every 5 seconds), but, i think it’s crazy that people are so reliant on charities in a country where people literally throw money away on a consumer culture where every has the newest phone, and spends money on the most frivolous of things. disclaimer: i’m not saying that i donate money to everyone i ever see and never spend anything on myself. that in itself is an entirely naive way of thinking. but i just think that we should be spending money on things that will last longer. like education, healthcare, etc. something more long term perhaps. but in world where everyone is hellbent on immediate returns, very little can be achieved easily, or in the interests of everyone. maybe one day we will get a goverment that can look past a 5 year stretch. one day. well, a girl can dream.

...and then me

ironically talking of buying the latest phone, i have been living without a phone for about a week now. i obviously still have access to most of my modes of communication when i’m at home, but it really is so odd not being able to contact someone immediately. i’m so used to being able to send a quick message as soon as i’ve thought of something that i’m not quite sure what to do. do i run to my laptop? do i just store it up until i get a phone again? do i just leave it and forget it? maybe i should use the landline. 

what is this madness? it’s called dependency, and i’m fully aware of it, and i’m currently on a detox, but i know i will have to eventually go back to it. there have been a couple of articles floating about (ironically) on social media, about how social media and the internet is ruining communication.

so i’m going to sit here. and be ironic. and tell you, internet, that you should go out and have fun, but also message me because let’s face it, i’m super nosy.

[tgtbatm]

04/08/2015

so today i turned on the tv to george osbourne’s decision to start selling off the shares of RBS, a bank that had to be bailed out with taxpayers money.

The Bad

he’s selling it off at £3.30 a share. when it was bought for around £5 a share. i know what you’re thinking, surely they are just getting the best price? i’m not so sure. in february, RBS shares were around £4 each. i know, i’m talking in single-figure numbers per share, but to give you an idea, the loss according to bbc news adds up to nice loss of over £1bn. yes, you just read that right. I COULD BUY SO MUCH CHOCOLATE WITH £1BN. i know there’s a lot of arguments as to why they wanted to sell hastily, but ultimately, as a layperson, i look at that number and think, what an utter waste. my 15 year old brother could do a better job than that, and can understand the concept of not making a loss better than the government clearly can.

The Good

the bbc hasn’t just reported this story but has tried to look at both sides. despite it showing a less favourable side to the government. generally, the bbc is actually pretty good at media coverage in fact, when compared to many other media providers in the world.

[a little bit more of the bad: WHY DO THEY WANT TO GET RID OF THE BBC?!]

good job, bbc, keep up the good work.

...and then me

i had my mum’s apple crumble today, for the first time in a long time. being a uni student, it’s really striking what you can miss, being away from home. i guess i don’t really have time to sit around thinking about what i miss when i’m away, but i think it’s really important to appreciate things when you can. thanks mum.

[tgtbatm]

about me

so, i’m a lazy uni student, who is far too sarcastic, and complains too much for her own good. i considered doing a blog just about good things, but then decided that i might hate myself after about 3 posts. instead, i’ve settled on trying to balance myself out and, as the title would suggest, say something good, bad, and vaguely related to me.

i think it’s natural for humans to complain. and don’t worry, i know that i have a pretty decent life, and i probably shouldn’t even be complaining. but meh, take it or leave it, as the strokes say.