lovebug

yes the journal factory did blow up

[th3-fragil3]

u can call me lovebug, it/it’s pronouns please. i don’t know what I need from this blog but I’ll come here in a spiral and i’ll post whatever makes me feel better. i hope it does something for someone.

sick and disabled, both mentally and physically. i am always in pain, i am always sad. due to the circumstances I am forced to live with my family who is not exactly fond of me. also currently in love with someone that i have zero chance with, just for fun.

you’ll never find real gore here. i may post bruises, wrappings, movie gore, and speak about all of the above in detail, however. keep yourself safe, please, love. <3

tags:

phone call- complaints, rants, sillies

open journal- venting, confessions, ramblings

fresh blade- suicidal, spiraling, crisis

curious fish- current love interest

space man- current best friend

cry baby- current household

bite marks- morbid comforts

[th3-fragil3]

Actually I really hope one of my friends finds this blog. I either get the help and comfort I need so fuckint badly or I finally lose all of them because they are protecting themselves and both are good options. Both are so good.

[th3-fragil3]

They don’t know it but I’d let them kill me. They wouldn’t do that, despite their violence, they can’t stand me being harmed. I wish they would. I wish they could take themself out on me, all their feelings. Whatever that causes me is inconsequential.

[th3-fragil3]

All I want is to crawl into my bed and cry and I can’t even do that anymore because I know it’ll make me sick

[th3-fragil3]

Wait I don’t want that to be my last trip to my favorite place tho. That sucked. Oh fuck me. FUCK ME.

[th3-fragil3]

Didn’t use that blade while I was out but ooohhhhhhh honey it’s getting used once I get home that’s for sure. I could smell the blood on me all day it was tempting. But I was brave and coped like a normal human being. Once I’m a home I don’t have to anymore tho.

[th3-fragil3]

I can’t do any more of this. Give me one reason to fucking stay. My own body doesn’t want me here. Fuck you.

[th3-fragil3]

I feel like from the outside this looks like the best I’ve ever been and I’m so fuckint scatwd that it’s gonna catch everyone totally off guard. I feel so guilty for it to begin with I can’t imagine how confused they’re gonna be. I know the relief that I’m gone will come soon afyer but I wish I’d have just done it last year when it made sense. It looks like I have so much going for me if you’re not inside my head.

[th3-fragil3]

It’s like I know I’m on borrowed time and I don’t even care. I wish getting out of here was easier. I wish I had a gun. That’s the only thing keeping me at the moment, honestly, is how much of a hassle it all is. I don’t give a shit that it’s gonna be soon, I wish it was sooner.

[th3-fragil3]

We have returned to the point of keeping a blade in the backpack. Which is cool.

[th3-fragil3]

“Loving you from afar” is maybe one of the most heartbreaking sentences I’ve ever received. There’s no reason for this. The world is so fucking mean to people who don’t deserve it. They should be healthy and okay and we should be annoying everyone on earth with how close we are. I can’t process how unfair the world is, this is so fucked up.

[th3-fragil3]

If we get together we may be the most fucked up thing this city has ever seen actually

[th3-fragil3]

THEY FINALLY GOT BACK TO ME HEHEHE

[th3-fragil3]

Instead of a vent blog would it be fun to use this as a catch all actually. Just fuckin words on here. True digital diary vibes. That’s what I was planning on using my main for tho. Who knows. I’m super anxious at the moment and looking for a distraction lolol.

[theyhitthe2ndtower]

my vent blog that i don’t vent on because im afraid of judgement

[idkwhattoputbroo]

"can you calm down?"

No but I can scratch my collar bones raw till I drip blood

[th3-fragil3]

When they take so long to reply I’m looking up their name on arrest record sites