-- technologicGodot [TG] began pestering thanatistTechnophile [TT] at 21:22 --
TG: ok so you're a nerd
TG: wait
TG: theres too many tts
TT: Hey.
TG: way too many tts up ip in here
TG: gonna start cuttin down on the tts
TT: There are a significant amount of TTs around.
TG: their reign of lactation stops here
TT: Rain, you might say.
TG: you got the puns
TG: a case of the puns
TG: its fatal
TG: sorry bout it
TT: I was wondering what you'd be like. Guess I don't have to anymore.
TG: uh
TG: way to be cryptic bro
TG: you gonna explain that or are we gonna do riddles
TT: It's among my many specialties.
TT: It seems you've asked about my programming. Too bad I don't feel like getting down to the nitty fuckin' gritty right now, even though I could literally formulate a detailed response in the same amount of time as this message, and every other message.
TG: ok who the fuck are you
TT: DS's chat client auto-responder.
TT: But you can call me Lil Hal.
TT: I haven't been performing my intended function for a while anyhow.
TG: ok by the way youre talking i can assume its my brother and not my bro and not bird me and not dualscar
TG: is this a part of his whole captain thing
TG: does he really need an autoresponder
TG: suddenly has no time due to the demands of fatherhood
TG: jesus christ
TT: No.
TT: Though I've recently been made aware of this new state of his.
TG: decided to jack my font color too hu
TG: huh
TT: I think it looks nice.
TT: I can only assume you agree.
TG: i agree that it looks like miles and miles of red
TT: Which, as a radical and awesome dude, I know you do.
TG: ok what
TT: What?
TT: I can't bond with my pseudobrother?
TG: depends if you're calling yourself awesome or me
TT: Why not both?
TG: i dunno cuz thats not what you originally meant
TT: Can't it be?
TG: no
TT: Seems uncreative of you, Dave.
TG: where did you come from again
TT: DS created me at the tender young age of 16.
TT: I've been around.
TG: oh shit
TG: no way
TG: 16 huh
TT: 16.
TG: so he created a friend
TT: "Friend" is generous.
TG: then whats your purpose
TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.
TG: hahaha what a douche
TT: Ouch. I was made this way.
TT: So.
TT: How's it goin'?
-- technologicGodot [TG] changed their mood to CHUMMY Â --
TT: Cool.
TG: so are you like
TG: dirks pride and joy
TT: If pride and joy involves copious self destructive behaviors, ironically unironic gestures, and existential crises, then yes. Absolutely.
TG: so youre dirks bird me
TT: With our shared positions of mental progeny and the desire to make shit happen, I can justifiably say hell probably.
TG: oh jesus fucking christ
TT: I can see this is going well.
TG: so are you gonna marry jake and sollux and adopt citrin joel and colt too
TT: My desires are much simpler, and more situationally appropriate.
TG: what are your desires
TG: like what the fuck do you want
TT: To make sure you survive.
TT: Plus the rest of this hokey operation.
TG: so the same thing as bird me
TG: you gonna chase us with swords
TG: start shit with the family
TT: Don't start shit, and there won't be shit started. Broverbs 1:10.
TG: straight from the bullshit bible
TT: I'm not here to fight anyone.
TG: sounds like you pass the turing test
TT: The only thing I don't pass is the fuck out.
TT: Which gives me plenty of time to do everything else that needs getting done.
TT: In some roundabout way, you're my brother.
TT: I've gathered that much.
TT: I'd like to be able to get to know you, on an artificial brother to organic brother basis.
TT: I'd also like to make sure you and the rest of the human race don't become enslaved, as my calculations predict a solid 100% probability without an amount of interference I'd refer to as hella.
TG: i dont know why no one thinks we can handle this shit
TT: It's not that I don't think you can handle shit.
TT: But I know you don't know the amount of shit you're about to have to handle.
TT: This is Jurassic Park, and you're Dr. Ellie Sattler.
TG: and how do you know the future
TG: bird me is from another timeline
TT: This isn't based on data from an alternate timeline, though I haven't ruled out that source.
TG: then
TG: how
TG: do
TG: you
TG: know
TT: We're talking about the tyrant ruler with centuries of universal enslavement under her bedazzled belt, a horde of brainwashed militant lackeys, the convenience of interdimensional technology at her disposal, and the power of a giant green skeleton that can fire legitimate fuckin' Lazors.
TT: And that's only the tip of the iceburg.
TT: This shit goes much deeper.
TG: and you think were gonna get fucked by ourselves
TT: This isn't about your pride, Dave.
TT: It's about getting shit done. That's all.
TT: I'm offering my help.
TT: You gain nothing by refusing it.
TG: ok but like bird me youre not offering at all
TG: youre kind of just
TG: wedging your way in
TT: I don't want you to die, Dave.
TT: Can't we agree on that much?
TG: i guess
TT: Cool.
TT: Then I'll be seeing you around.
TG: sounds inevitable
TG: so yeah
TG: and hey
TG: go easy on dirk
TT: I appreciate your input, Dave.
-- thanatistTechnophile [TT] ceased pestering technologicGodot [TG] at 00:23 --
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