sunspawned·:
Diah just nodded at first, thinking about what Pumpkin had said. She knew to a point that the other woman had been through something similar. Worse, even, which was hard to even imagine with how the titan had barely even survived the experience. A swallow, then, nervous from that thought, amplified by the tension that she’d brought to the room.
She brought a few noodles up to her mouth, eating them, but the taste felt like it had disappeared as she chewed them slowly. For just a second, she considered leaving the conversation there – but, no, she’d probably already ruined the chance of them going back to talking about normal things.
Reaching out, she sat the container down on the table in front of her for the time being. “I’m glad you guys found me, too.” She replied finally, though her mind flashed back to how embarrassing it had been at the time to be seen so weak and horrible. In the end, though, it was better than the alternative of not coming home at all, ever.
“I guess I just…” The slightest pause. “I guess I just don’t get it.” Her eyes shifted towards Pumpkin but just barely. “Why you came, after… you know.”
She almost wanted to laugh at herself. Usually so bold and direct, Diah struggled to find words as she remembered how things had ended before. The heartbreak and how stupid she’d felt after Pumpkin couldn’t handle her accidental confession.
“I just, kinda thought you hated me after that.”
“You thought I hated you?” Pumpkin’s voice felt incredibly small as she turned to the woman beside her, all of the bigger than life boldness she usually tried to present absent. Of course Diah had thought she hated her. It’s not like she’d given her any inclination otherwise with all her avoiding and the way she’d blown up on her last they’d spoken before the world went to shit.
She really should have tried to reach out before then. It remained her biggest regret, even with all the dumb shit she’d done in her supernaturally long life.
"Diah, I...” She bit her lip and looked down at her hands. It was a big thing to realize and a bigger thing to admit. Especially to Diah, this woman who things were very clearly still weird with. The warlock couldn’t even bring herself to look at her right now. To know that she’d hurt someone that important to her that much... Light, had she really been that stupid about the whole thing. Pumpkin knew her reaction had been bad and ruined things, but was it really bad enough to think it was a response out of hate and not what it really had been?
Fuck she wanted a smoke so bad. Or a drink. Both? Both.
Like a godsend Pork returned, now more interested in his job that stealing snacks as he pressed his face up into Pumpkin’s lap and starting whining for pets. His owner readily obliged, using it as a moment to gather her thoughts and focus on her breathing.
“Diah, I don’t hate you. I never have. I was...” She took a deep breath and risked a glance back to the other woman. “I was scared. Still am, honestly.”
