yours. not mine.

indie low activity shin malphur rp blog. directed by nev.

[rxngde]

          .I’VE GOT A MESSAGE YOU CAN’T IGNORE, MAYBE I’M JUST NOT THE MAN I WAS BEFORE. I’VE GOT A HUNGER YOU’LL NEVER TASTE, CRAVING A DESIRE THAT WON’T GO TO WASTE.             .AND I, I’M GONNA MAKE IT MY OWN. (shin malphur rp. heavily canon divergent. as directed by nev.)

[rnxgade-blog]

i lied im gonna hard reset this bitch under... the same url but ill get to that later on once i’ve done some stuff on andal tonight uwu

[rnxgade-blog]

in other news i revamped my andal blog over at @deadscoped and i am here to pose a Very Important Concept to u all while i work on getting back onto shin shin adopting a stray dog. thats it thats the concept

[rothelp]

miscellaneous angst starters.

when were you going to tell me?

you can’t keep doing this to yourself.

that’s…a lot of blood.

can you walk?

please don’t lie to me.

you were supposed to leave.

i’m not going anywhere without you.

shh, it’s okay. it was just a dream.

there was nothing more you could have done.

it wasn’t your fault.

this is all my fault.

you aren’t acting like yourself.

i’m never going to let [her/him/them] hurt you again.

you’re hurting me.

don’t ever do that again.

go to hell.

please don’t cry.

you have to stay awake.

i wish i could take the pain away.

you could have died.

hey – stay with me.

it’ll be over soon.

did you ever love me?

i’m sorry. i can’t do this anymore.

things won’t always hurt this bad.

you passed out.

how much have you had?

i’m okay. it’s all fine.

it’s not okay! you’re not fine!

let me get you something for the pain.

it’s nothing. it’s just a bruise.

it’s clearly not nothing.

have you been to the doctor?

i didn’t mean the things i said.

i thought we meant something.

people who are okay don’t act like this.

you don’t have to go through this by yourself.

i don’t want you to be alone.

please don’t regret me.

i heard you crying.

you need to get some rest.

when was the last time you ate something?

i’m worried about you.

did you have another nightmare?

[name], there’s nobody there.

i want to be happy but i don’t think i deserve it.

please talk to me.

why are you mad at me?

alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.

don’t leave me.

did you do this to yourself?

it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.

tell me what’s wrong.

tell me how to make it better.

why don’t you care?

get the hell away from me.

please don’t do this.

i can’t believe that you lied to me.

just…stay for the night.

you obviously can’t be trusted to take care of yourself, so let me do it for you.

you can’t die. i won’t let you.

just hang on, okay?

hold my hand if you need to.

i’m sorry.

why do you have a gun?

don’t panic.

just breathe.

you’re bleeding.

i’m trying to stop the bleeding.

you’ve been crying, i can tell.

you should have told me sooner.

i wanted to tell you in person.

a phone call would’ve been nice.

i hate you.

i love you.

[rnxgade-blog]

im not dead i swear just shin is being a little shit and life is kickin my ass u gotta bare with me yall

[rnxgade-blog]

grip ??

          –shin malphur is no stranger to fear. the renegade even more so. it’s part of his life, of anyone’s life in this line of work. no one could look you in the eye and say they’d never been scared of something. he wouldn’t believe them. would never understand them. it’s vital to development. he wouldn’t be where he is if it wasn’t for fear. fear of the darkness, of the unknown, of yor, of jaren. all of it. it’s all there. it always will be. no point in denying it. 

          ikora is one of the few things that still scares the renegade. gunslinger’s heat meets the cool of the void. the pull of unknown forces into the black abyss he’s never managed to master. even behind helmet, he can feel the distant tug, the absent drag towards something he doesn’t understand. the tightening of his chest is instinctive as her movements catch even the quickdraw off guard. it’s a warning. he knows that much. doesn’t shift so much as to try and get away. just. hovers there. lets her do what she will. 

          if she can feel the white hot burn of solar energy behind his visor, he couldn’t tell as gritted teeth part only to offer his own warning. the renegade is not put off balance, he will not allow her to deter him from what he needs to do. ‘whatever it takes’ does not exempt her or the vanguard. they should have learnt that lesson years ago. 

          “what’s up, ‘kora? somethin’ on yer mind?” a pause, gaze levelled at hers from where malphur hides behind blacked out visor. “i should warn y’... next time y’ so much as think ‘bout touchin’ me, it won’t go yer way. got it?” // @seasonedfury // grip meme

[rnxgade-blog]

grip— “listen to ms celia or im putting cockroaches in your pants.”

           --masked visage is ripped from the kid’s grip, shin shifting to massage his jaw where he stands ever so slightly further back from the brat than he had been initially. he can hear celia half laughing in the back of his head, knows that she’s enjoying this. shin? he’s lost for words, small hum all he can manage in response before another step back is taken. perhaps there’s a reason he kept away from the tower now. 

           “y’ a... menace, kid. i ain’t someone y’ can jus’--jus’ order ‘round...” his voice is tentative though, far from the commanding tone he attempted initially. // @solshot // send grip for ur muse to grip my muse by the jaw (bonus points for context) // aa

[rnxgade-blog]

yor -- notpetals

  Yor had stopped counting how many times now Shin had shot him until The Last Word ran dry. The shadow’s armor was patchwork in some areas, over his heart specifically, always seemed to go for that spot first. Funny thing, that. Too bad the muscle there had wilted away years before Shin had even been born. He bears down further against the kid when he starts talking an in turn begins once again.

  “Evil is only a matter of opinion- and who is going to stop me? You? With how much metal you’ve wasted on me already I am beginning to think that may very well be impossible.”

  Come on Shin, you have the Light within you so bright and strong, do something with it. The Dredgen wonders if his motions have been for nothing so far, how much more can he do until he finally snap? His head leans over to meet the glare. Conversation with a little Light oh so diligent to carry on the Traveler’s gift has him thinking back to when he had called Malphur a man. No, this is no man before him. This is a kid who had gone through the worst over and over, forced to grow up too fast, chosen but the Dark and Light together in unison.

  Fate was cruel but then again, so were the very worlds they live in. “I almost want you to succeed, ‘cause if you fail..” Yor applies more pressure to the arm bent back, threatening to pop it from its socket. “I will go on and kill so many more people. Countless numbers of men, women, children and all because you didn’t happen to be strong enough. Just another failure like Ward had been!”

  The threat becomes far more real as muscles strain, arm pulled further and upwards until it dislocates. Even then he keeps Shin against the worn stone of ancient brick, carrying the gall to laugh further at the misery brought along like an old friend.

          --dregden’s voice in his ear is drowned out by the boy’s own screams, nails breaking and bleeding as he scrabbles against the brick in futile attempts to find grip - to find an escape. pain lances through his chest, his shoulder immediately finding a middle ground between numb and in agony. he knows the ghost will fix it. knows thats she won’t let him die, not permanently at least, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. doesn’t stop the pain or halt the writhing that shin attempts in rock solid grip. 

           tears are hot against his skin, burning through the grime sat atop as muscles and bone scream beneath yor’s grip and the child is reduced to nothing but quiet sobs and whimpers where he’s pinned against the brick. he can feel celia bristle in the back of his mind, can feel the heat of his own fury slowly give way to the pain. this wasn’t meant to happen. jaren would have told him throwing himself at the larger man like that was stupid. that he was just asking to get himself hurt or killed. shin would scoff, tell him that it didn’t matter as long as he was quicker. 

            but now? all the boy can focus on is the pain running through his system - appropriated ghost making no attempt to fix the damage or soothe the pain. perhaps she wanted him to learn from all of this. perhaps she was no better than the man... no the monster that he so loathes pressed up behind him. 

            “he--he wasn’t a failure--he wasn’t!” he’s trapped, he’s loosing. shin knows that much. doesn’t know how to get out - if he would be allowed out. that anger is replaced with anger still, voice tearing through worn throat where he can taste blood, having bitten down on his own cheek in an attempt to muffle his pain. his voice now is weaker, begging, even. it’s pathetic. even if he does say so himself. “i--i’ll find a way--i won’t--i won’t let y’ do what y’--what y’ did to my town--you--y’ can’t--i’ll stop y’--even when he couldn’t--”

[rnxgade-blog]

hey so life is kicking my ass recently and im really struggling to not fall into another depressive episode - as a result shin and all my blogs have taken a back seat. i might work on an oc blog purely as a distraction for the time being but idk. i spent most of today trying to convince myself not to do something stupid so thank u all for being patient with me i guess

[arcdancing-blog]

@rnxgade // s.c.

⸙ - “You know, you and I aren’t that different, in a way.”  Willow flips a knife casually as she leans against the ruins of a stone fence.  “You were chosen by a Ghost when you were still alive…I was revived as a kid.”

Realizing that doesn’t make much sense, the Hunter facepalms, berating herself for sounding like an idiot in front of Shin Malphur.  “Sorry, that probably doesn’t actually make much sense.  I just feel a certain kinship to you, ya know?”

She’s not used to feeling awkward, and she really doesn’t like it.  “Uhh…yeah.  Shit’s weird.  You’re probably not used to seeing a kid as a Guardian, are ya?”  She spits the word “kid” like it’s a curse.

[rnxgade-blog]

          --renegade is sat with arms wrapped around his knees, perched atop a sturdy looking section of ruined wall, watching that knife with a sense of unease. though she wouldn’t be able to see that, what with the scarf and hood casting a shadow on worn features. he’s only half listening to what willow’s saying, dark gaze busy watching her every move. shin doesn’t usually do this. talking. having a conversation. it’s safe to say that he’s not exactly proficient in the art of it.

           “ain’t the... uh. weirdest thing i ever saw.” a prod from celia in the back of his mind prompts a stiffening of hunter’s spine, posture straightening somewhat where he’s perched. his voice is soft, small even, as he talks. muffled by knees held close to his face in a vacant attempt to obscure visage behind. “’suppose we ain’t that different. light chose y’ as a kid, chose me as a kid too.”

[honey-honeycutt-deactivated2019]

send “grip” to grip my muse’s jaw in your muse’s hand

Romantic, platonic or threatening it is up to you!

[rnxgade-blog]

          shin never once called jaren dad. yeah, he came to see him as a third father figure type deal but their relationship (at least on shin’s side) was more distant emotionally so. he was more of a tutor to shin for the longest time while the kid would always call him by his name. even started off with ‘sir’ for a few weeks before that was trained out of him. his adoptive father was always referred to as ‘pa’ (because i said so and fuck whatever canon says) but jaren never got to that point - especially not after shin’s town was destroyed and he was having to deal with all of that 

[rnxgade-blog]

--notpetals

  Weeks passed along with them playing a lethal game of cat and mouse, though the roles had been swapped; the mouse was chasing after the feline with vengeance on the mind. Their surroundings changed from endless green and brown to dull reds of brick washed by centuries of weather.

  Taunting words pass through the air as it seems the monster has finally been cornered. Run and run and run it held no purpose other than to prolong the inevitable he knew was coming for him. It is not fear that drives Dredgen to flee and force their game onward. No, he has plans far larger than the either of them, something all encompassing to their very species. Funny to him that the kid knows naught of what could become of him if everything fell into place.

  There is a spark. Not one of Light, lead flies and the shadow staggers but remains standing, earning a maniacal laugh. It rattles about off the walls and echos out though the sky above. You won’t be killing me that way, Ward thought the same and look where he is now! Dead in the ground. And what do you have to show for all this running around? A waste of ammunition, perfect shots they might have been, but just as useless as you are!

  Another white hot jolt of anger and the canon lowers, Shin throwing himself forward, Yor continues to laugh even when the punch is sent forward. Carrying the same ease that the gunslinger had for his weapon Dredgen brings a hand up to catch the fist. A monster of muscle and power his fingers close around the smaller hand and threaten to break bone.

  The next motions carry them forward, Malphur’s head into the wall, arm twisted back. A breathy chuckle rolls out as the shadow closes in and speaks. “If I wanted to kill you, there were far more times I could have done so. Back in your town as I burned everything down to the ground. I could have killed you then. When Jaren Ward came for me, I could have gone to your camp and killed you there. Your death.. not yet, maybe later. First, I want to make sure I can rip away. every. last. thing you have.”

           --voice right by his head is enough to send ice cold fear down shin’s spine, grit teeth giving way to something of a whimper muffled by scarf ‘round his face. he’s angry. burning white hot deep in his chest somewhere even as he’s crushed against brick with little mercy for weaker muscles and bones than that of the ‘man’ behind him. he’s laughing. laughing at shin. kid doesn’t know how to react. what to think beyond the anger flaring as it winds around ribs and tightens around lungs desperate for air. 

          they’ve done this before. done this too many times for young boy to count. the ghost knows. she knows how many times, kept track and taunted the child with it. used it as some form of encouragement. knew that he’d want to please the memory of his father. of the most recent thing the darkness had taken from him. he’d done it deliberately. in amongst the chaos and murder and fire. yor had systematically stripped shin malphur of everything he cared about - everything he’d somehow ended up with in his life. there were questions. he wanted to know why. why him? why jaren? why his adoptive father and the people of his town? why why why--

           yor is talking still and boy can do nothing but squirm where he’s pinned against a wall, cheek burning where it’s pressed against brick - texture burning into skin as he puts all of his strength into trying to get some leverage of his own - any leverage of his own. shin wants to know why - wants answers. but the rage is all consuming. the want to land a bullet dead between dregden’s eyes and destroy him back. show him what it felt like. burn everything to the ground. he wants it to end. wants to bring and end to his evil. for his fathers, for his people. for everyone who had suffered.

          “you’re--you’re fuckin’ evil--i ain’t--y’ can’t do this--you’ve already taken pa and--and jaren--jus’--jus’ fuckin’ die already--!” he’s biting out the words through the blood building on his tongue. through the white hot fury blinding him as he tries to get a good look at the man in the corner of his eye. shoulder burns in agony, muscles screaming for release whilst bone is slow to bend beneath greater strength. fist is clenched as feet scrabble for purchase still and hand pushes against the wall. desperation is quick to kick in as shin gasps for breath - head spinning. “i’ll--i’ll make y’ fuckin’ pay fer what you’ve done--i swear i will--”

[rnxgade-blog]

          ok so now i’ve read the lore just a heads up that i’m gonna be... idk lowkey picking and choosing what parts of canon i use for my shin since i’m canon divergent and i’ve fallen too much in love with my shin before there was more info on him. 

          for the sake of ease i’ll mostly stick to the same sort of vein as canon but with my own spin on a lot of stuff as it just eases my anxiety more than anything else lmao

[fakehelper]

[rnxgade-blog]

          –“are those to be your last words?”                     –“YOURS. NOT MINE.”

                                                        shin malphur rp. as directed by nev.                                                         (PERSONALS DO NOT REBLOG.)

[rnxgade-blog]

disco drop under the cut!!! mutuals only n lemme know who u are bls