Kitty: Definitely friends. Everyone is a mixture of different emotional states and have different triggers that set them off. Depends on a person's ability to communicate and to understand whether the relationship is viable. Kitty's "moments" are just that: moments. They don't make you the majority of whom she is. Compassion generally drives her. We'd get along fine. ♥️
Red: Friends (or friendly). Tougher one, but I'd have any easy time learning what makes him comfortable and uncomfortable. I understand he cherishes his alone-tine and has very specific interests. I'd ask him questions about those interests and create a bond with him through them. He'd probably like the fact I know when to listen and when to talk -- and when his social-interaction meter was full and back-off.
Eric: Great friends. Lots of common interests and sense of humor. He's ultimately a good communicator, compassionate, and fun. I'd have to be careful, though, to make sure the relationship remains equal. I could give him a crap-ton of advice (that he'd want), which might turn the friendship into a patient- therapist dynamic. So I'd have to hold back from jumping in to protect him from his dumbassery.
Donna: Best friends. Although her stubbornness would be frustrating, she and I would build a solid foundation of communication. I'd hopefully be able to dissuade her from acting on self-destructive reactiveness (wouldn't be my first rodeo there 😅).
Hyde: He'd end up loving me (not necessarily romantically, in general 😜). Of course, I'm talking of the version of Hyde I consider canon based on many consistent episodes (I wrote a meta on that years ago). We'd understand each other on a visceral level, and he'd see in me what he's been trying to achieve and learn that it's a process full of many layers. Superficially and deeply we have a lot in common and lots we could teach each other. We'd either form a platonic-intimate Forman-Hyde level of friendship or something else. (Sorry, Jackie; love ya, girl! 😘)
Jackie: I can handle the Jackie-of-it-all, especially because she's capable of growing and changing. I'd be a very similar friend to her as Donna is. But I'd take less of her shit, like Hyde.
A few snags, though: I'd tell her about Kelso soon as I found out about him and Laurie. Then I'd either make sure she catches them (while I'm present) or directly bring her and Kelso together and negotiate that conversation. Jackie's misdirected anger at the messenger (me) would be short-lived, particularly because a picture is worth a thousand words.
Breaking through her fantasy-delusions would be tough but not impossible since it's not a pathology (the distinction is significant). She's got untapped emotional intelligence and a base of compassion. She has a lot of growing to do, and she is a supportive friend despite also having narcissistic tendencies.
It would be a difficult friendship to navigate but ultimately rewarding, I think, in the long-term.
The above -- re: Jackie -- is largely based on my teen self with some adult wisdom I've earned through experience. But if my adult-self were my teen-sekr, I might not have the patience or energy to put into that kind of friendship.
Kelso: This might be surprising, but friends. He probably wouldn't be attracted to me (despite admiring some of my, ahem, physical characteristics). He'd have one chance to grope me as he does to Donna consistently before he learned he's much better off keeping his hands to himself. 👀
I'd likely end up being his "Father Confessor," learning all sorts of things he hasn't shared with anyone. He'd know exactly where I stand on his behavior. I'd tell him bluntly that he can have sex with as many girls as he likes (as long as it was fully consensual, duh). That's not the problem. What he can't do is deprive Jackie (or any girl) the choice of being in an open or monogamous relationship by lying.
He wouldn't get any time to tell her the truth with me as his friend; that's better for him, for Jackie, for both of them. His options are he does it himself or while I'm present, or I tell her without him. He'd hate it, but he wouldn't hate me. Our bond would already be solid. His zany sense of humor is in my wheelhouse. I'd give him the consistent boundaries no one else in his life has managed to give him (pre-Brooke).
The above -- re: Kelso --is based on teenage me. Adult me has no time or patience for his shenanigans. I outgrew that tolerance and the amount of effort a friendship like that takes to maintain. It's not healthy.
Fez: Which version? There are six or so (as I described in meta a few years ago). I've had friends like all versions of Fez except season 8's. I'd definitely befriend season-1 and season-4 version of him. Like Hyde, I'd help him navigate American teen culture and protect him from bullies to the best of my ability (another rodeo I've had plenty of experience with). Fez probably would be attracted to me because he's attracted to practically everyone. Not like he is toward Jackie or any of his girlfriends. Just generally, and if he's in his doesn't-respect-boundaries stage, he'd learn quickly to respect mine.
Much, not all, of this post is based on my teen-through-college self. I've been friends or had relationships (of different kinds) with all these characters in real-life counterparts. I also find pieces of myself in all of them. My experiences in high school and college also resemble a significant portion of what the T7S characters experience on the show (although they're definitely not a 1:1 comparison). Those are three significant reasons I felt at home in this show, despite being born after the era in which it takes place.
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