I don't post things with the intention for discourse. I won't respond to those trying to pick an argument, and I politely ask my followers not to engage in discourse on my posts.
If you send an ask that mentions rape for an AU where I specifically never said the word "rape," I am likely to not respond to it.
If you send an ask that mentions/describes suicide for an AU where I don't specifically talk about suicide or suicide ideation, I am likely to not respond to it.
PLEASE put warnings in your asks if it has sensitive material in it. I have depression and I was groomed as a child. Sometimes, I really am not in the headspace to see things that bring down my mood. I don't want to wake up in the morning and read something that ruins my day.
I'm not going to respond to every ask I get. I don't have the social battery for that. Sometimes it'll take a long while before I respond to an ask because of said social battery.
I only post Hazbin Hotel on this blog. This is a side account strictly for Hazbin, and while I do watch Helluva Boss and greatly enjoy it, I don't really engage in the HB fandom, so don't expect much of it here.
My bsky is the same as my Tumblr, @that-hazbin.bsky.social.
This blog is 18+. I'm going to be honest, I never thought I would have to say that considering the fact that the media it's dedicated to is very obviously not for minors. It's a given that most of the content is very much Not For Kids.
Might add more to this later, but this looks like a good list for now.
AppleRadio AU where Lucifer hides the fact he can't harm sinners in plain sight.
He doesn't isolate himself, but instead allows sinners to challenge him in a one on one duel. If they win, he'll grant them one favor.
The caveat?
He won't actually fight back.
Since he's so much more powerful than everyone else, it obviously wouldn't be a fair match if he fought back, so instead the real goal of the duel is for the sinner to land a hit on the Devil.
He's been doing this for centuries, if not longer, and no one has beaten him yet.
With all his powers, it's easy to dodge and deflect any attacks.
This works on so many levels.
One, it makes it seem like he's choosing not to hurt sinners instead of literally being unable to.
Two, it turns the duels into a spectacle for everyone to join in on and watch.
Three, Lucifer gets to have fun as a showman putting on a big performance, and getting the crowd revved up, and feeding his ego as the Sin of Pride.
Something else that would be fun to explore with this AU is the idea that Lucifer can still use his powers on sinners, he just can't hurt them. He can redirect their attacks back on them, and can even heal them if he feels like it. Which he does for the sole purpose of dragging out the duel even longer.
Just imagine the sinner getting worn down and beaten up without the Devil laying a finger on them, thinking the battle is already over, only for Lucifer to completely heal them, forcing them to keep the 'show' going.
As the Sin of Pride, Lucifer loves the attention these duels bring.
And as the Devil, he gets to punish the sinners in the only ways he really can: by humiliating them with a brutal and very public defeat.
Over time, these duels have become the biggest source of entertainment in Hell.
People placing bets on who they think might win.
Training arenas crop up to try and make a sinner strong enough to land a hit on the Devil.
And one day Rosie makes a deal with a human that she plans to use to win that one favor from the Devil.
She knows she has no hope of beating Lucifer, so she plans to use someone else in her place. And since she owns his soul, any rewards Alastor gets for being Lucifer would automatically be transferred to her.
So, when Alastor finally arrives in Hell, Rosie wastes no time in catching him up to speed. Taking him to each duel so they can study Lucifer's strategies and mannerisms. Looking for any weaknesses to exploit.
It goes beyond the duels as well.
They go over any public appearances the King has made over the last few centuries, pouring over every news article written about him, and attending any speech Lucifer gives to the public. All for the purpose of gaining whatever advantage they can get.
Throughout it all, Alastor started to develop a theory about their King, one that he doesn't really have any evidence to support. Just a hunch.
What he suspects is that Lucifer can't actually harm any sinners.
The only real evidence he has for this theory is the fact that Lucifer is never shown hurting any sinner ever. Even outside of th arena.
Alastor would have thought that The Devil would be out there torturing sinners in the streets, but that's never the case. All the records and media coverage he was able to found never depicted Lucifer as the Tormentor of the Wicked as you'd expect from him.
It wasn't a lot to go off of, but the more Alastor thought about it, the more it began to make sense.
If Lucifer wasn't able to harm sinners as some kind of cosmic punishment, then it effectively makes him a sitting duck (pun intended) in a sea of self righteous sinners who would love nothing more then to exploit the Devil's weakness.
If Alastor was in that situation, he'd probably do the same thing as Lucifer. Hide this weakness in plain sight as a misdirect. Convince the public that you're not restricted at all, and are simply choosing to be 'merciful'.
With that theory in place, Alastor tells Rosie he's ready to face the Devil.
It's a gamble, but it's all he's got right now.
The duel between them quickly becomes the talk of the whole realm. The Radio Demon, most powerful Overlord that's ever existed, has challenged the Devil. It's all anyone could talk about for weeks.
In the arena, Alastor is struggling to keep up with Lucifer, but he keeps pressing on, trying to get close to him for one particular reason: he wants to make a Deal with the Devil. One that is completely separate from his deal with Rosie.
The very idea that he'd have to go through all this trouble to beat Lucifer, only to have to hand over the winnings to his owner sickens him.
He's not about to let Rosie use him like that.
So when he's close enough to Lucifer that no one else will over hear them, he reveals he knows Lucifer's secret. He even threatens to reveal it to the entire realm, which is a credible threat given he runs the radio industry. He's even been broadcasting this fight this whole time, and has only now muted his microphone to have this little chat.
If Lucifer doesn't play along, then all of Hell will know their King is powerless against sinners.
But it's not just about playing along.
Alastor doesn't want to use his winnings just to free his soul. That would be a waste. Part of this deal would involve Lucifer freeing his soul from Rosie's grasp first, and then granting whatever favor Alastor asks for afterwards.
The threat works.
As much as Lucifer hates having to lose to a sinner, he also can't afford to let his secret out.
After the duel, Lucifer keeps up appearances, acting the part of the graceful looser as he congratulates Alastor on doing what no one else has done before.
Then Lucifer relocates them to a private location where there are guards waiting to execute Alastor.
Under other circumstances, Lucifer would have been willing to make good on his promise to give the victorious sinner what they want, but because Alastor knows his secrets he can't risk anything.
Alastor is quick to offer himself up as Lucifer's Executioner before he could be taken away.
It's enough to get Lucifer to hear him out.
What Alastor has to offer is to act in Lucifer's stead to punish the wicked where the King can't, and in exchange all he asks is for the freedom to travel all of Hell. To be the one sinner allowed to leave Pride Ring.
Lucifer doesn't even need to give it much thought.
Sinners have been getting far too comfortable in Hell, and Lucifer has already started seeing signs of a rebellion. If nothing is done about it soon, he could have a real mess on his hands.
He accepts Alastor's offer on one condition: He cannot use his new found powers and rank against him or his family.
Alastor sees nothing wrong with that. It's bad manners to bite the hand that feeds you, after all.
Lucifer already has a mission in mind for Alastor: to keep tabs on the Overlords, and report back on any of them who might be inclined to start a rebellion. From there they'll devise a plan on how to handle it.
While I am an Alastor Has A Tail truther, I do have some times where I enjoy Alastor having no tail, but only in the specific circumstances in which he USED to have one.
To be clearer, I mean that Alastor had a tail and outright got rid of it. Cut it off, tore it off, whatever you can think of. And I especially like it when he lowkey genuinely regrets doing this, because it gave him INTENSE chronic back pain and lead to him genuinely needing to lean on his cane more often than not. It makes him having to do his consistently unbothered and powerful persona a LOT harder. He is in constant pain and he has to keep smiling through it, with perfect posture and even breathing.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 15/?
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Alastor/Lucifer Magne, Alastor/Lucifer Morningstar, Alastor/Lilith Magne, Alastor/Lilith Morningstar, Alastor/Lilith Morningstar/Lucifer Morningstar, Alastor/Lilith Magne/Lucifer Magne, Alastor/Adam, Alastor/Eve, Alastor/Adam/Eve, Lucifer Magne/Lilith Magne, Lucifer Morningstar/Lilith Morningstar, Alastor & Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor & Lute (Hazbin Hotel)
Characters: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), God (Hazbin Hotel), Lucifer Magne, Lucifer Morningstar, Lilith Magne, Lilith Morningstar, Adam, Eve, Pilot!Adam - Character, Pilot!Eve, Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Lute (Hazbin Hotel)
Additional Tags: First Man!Alastor, Time Travel, Alastor in Eden, Alternate Dimensions, Fanart, Now has Fanart in the old chapters!, Exorcists, OC Exorcists, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It
Summary:
Alastor dies to the First man, and wakes in Eden having become the First Man - and then Wakes again, in a world where things are ever so slightly different. Every night, he lives the day over, living in two separate worlds - and two very different Lucifer’s, Lilith’s and Adam’s…
All Alastor wants is Free Will and to invent Radio, Jazz and Cooking, dammit!
Alastor is scheming and Lu wants the truth.
Two old men still talking :)
Well, will Alastor spill the beans? If so, how much? :D What do you think why he was sent to the hotel?
Hey!
It's me!
New part and more talking. More plot incoming:)
Yes there might be again spelling mistakes, typos etc. - sorry!
Short caption cause I am soooo tired, I am awake more or less for 48hours, cause insomnia. *sigh*
Nighty!
I had to stop Adam from being in love with Alastor's mom in tomodachi, omfg could you IMAGINE. Also bro u literally got divorced from Eve not that long ago be so fr 🙃
I'm. so tired. cat got fixed today was taken in at 7:30am (i woke up at 5 because she started screaming for no reason) and she came back with a numb lower body and she's all wobbly and bumping into everything so you gotta lay on the ground next to her so she'll stop trying to get up and she likes being in the soft bed of her carrier and ugh she's so cute but also my poor back cannot handle laying on hard ground
Radioapple/hellradio/lucilith enjoyer @that-hazbin - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
