@thatfrailsoul

Deeply and endlessly in love with divination. With the way it sees our soul, unlocks us, allows us to understand and express ourselves, connecting us to this world… In love with learning and growing. Sharing this journey with others through my work.♡

[thatfrailsoul]

Welcome...

This is a safe space. To slow down. To breathe. To reflect. To ask ourselves those questions that we don’t even dare to whisper. To listen and to hear ourselves for the first time. To dive deeper into this world, our mind and our heart.♡

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@mieluno ♡

[thatfrailsoul]

[thatfrailsoul]

[thatfrailsoul]

[thatfrailsoul]

Details of "A playful distraction", by Frederik Hendrik Kaemmerer, that inspired one of my readings.♡

[thatfrailsoul]

And even if the wave of doubts and fears is throwing you around now... You still will make sense of all of it, and find your balance. Holding yourself tightly and protecting from all the storms around, or within, you.

the anchor and the mice ♡

[thatfrailsoul]

- I think my diary might be a living person

A few days ago, as I was holding my diary tightly, with it seemingly fitting my hands so perfectly... I thought to myself, can it really be just an object? Can I affirm, with full conviction, that it is not a person, full of feelings, thoughts and memories?

Sure, they are all mine, I've put them into it, one might say. But still, now they are in it, in him or her, in them. As real and vivid, ink that traces each one of them on paper, the same way they are in me. The way they make me alive. Even if, some of them, where put into me by other people. Can I really affirm that it is not a person, just like myself, because of what I poured into it? What is the difference? Perhaps only the fact that what it holds now are bits of parts of me that belong in the past... But then again, this doesn't make those versions of me less real. So why shouldn't they have the power to give life, the same way they did to me?

It was just a moment, a passing thought, and I didn't find an answer to my wonders. But it did change the way my diary felt, when I was holding it. It was an object, but at the same time a person. It was me, but also someone else, from another time and another version. It did grow and change at the same pace as me, but also it standed alone, it existed. Holding stories, knowledge, emotions, that perhaps I myself didn't hold anymore, forgetting about them or running from them.

The diary felt more heavy, but also comforting. Like a long and just tight in the right way hug that makes you feel safe and at the same time free enough to choose to stay there for another moment. And for this reason, simply, it didn't felt right anymore to call it just a diary. Not when every single one of them was so different, a riflection of a person that I was when I was hugging it... It felt more right to call them by their names, names that they deserved, that were their right, as a person.

(So I present to you, without any particular reason behind his name but the fact that it just kind of feels right, ✨Richard✨ ahaha)

[thatfrailsoul]

[thatfrailsoul]

[thatfrailsoul]

[thatfrailsoul]

- Don't you let go of me

Are others seeing something that you don't? Or does the heart of yours, that is not ready to let go, know more than all of you? / a tarot pick a pile reading ♡

piles → one and two ♡

There are some moments in which, for one reason or another, it feels like no one really listens or understands, no one really is that close to you as they are supposed to. You speak your mind, your truth, your emotions… And when you look up, expecting to find that support and comfort, it’s all just empty, and silent. Those people, those places that are supposed to be your home, feel like one, become just a trap with its likeness. A place in which you can have the support you look for, where you can be welcomed, but only if you first change your mind, command your heart, and learn to see the world the way they are doing it.

And at first, it seems so obvious what is the right thing. To go away, to turn your back on them, protect yourself and the life that is calling you… And yet it is so difficult to do it, it’s much more complicated. You love them. You need them. Almost enough to start doubting your own self, listening closely to their wishes and decisions that they want for you.

Now it is one of those moments for you. You are getting closer to change your mind, to just trust them, in the name of the love you feel for them or, perhaps, the authority they seem to have on you… But, although in some things it might be indeed useful and important to have a different opinion - there is one thing that is perfect the way it is about you: a decision, a vision, a dream... There is something that is yours, that by calling you is bringing you exactly where you are supposed to be in this life, and that is important for you to hold onto.

So… Slow down for a moment. Breathe deeply. Soften your gaze and allow it to show you where your message is hiding. The one from the thing that you are about to sacrifice, by trusting others.

Which pile is calling you..?

Pile One

Pile Two

Voting ended onJul 27

- Pile One,

(the fish: the wheel of fortune and the page of cups)

Details of the "Sappho", by Ferdinand Keller ♡

There is a journey that… Didn’t even call you, nor found you on its own. It was you who went out of your way to look for it, to search for something that could welcome you and your passion, your desire, and take care of it. Nurture it, make it grow and bloom… And show others around you that it was that serious, more than they ever believed you.

You looked for it, you found it, you started it. One step after another, you made slow but steady progress. And although on the outside, in its material manifestation it didn’t look like that much… What really was a lot is the way it made you feel, the way it unlocked you all of the sudden. Just the chance to do it, to experience it, to finally live what before only stayed hidden in your ideas and daydreaming… Made you feel like a new version of you, one that just seems more fitting, as it hugs perfectly your soul, its desires and needs now.

But while for you your entire world is changing, the way you see it, the way you feel and live it… For others is not really that deep, or important. From where they stand, although it is so close to you, they still see only a fraction of it. One that is not convincing them, not when they see how hard you are working on it, how much you are sacrificing, putting your intention and attention all in one place.

They don’t do it with bad intentions, they really don’t. But their version of what is happening is so different from yours that it kind of shakes you, pushes you down from the clouds where you were starting to enjoy yourself so much. They talk about the future, about the foundations. About the certainties and deadlines. They remind you of a side of the world that you tried to escape from. They connect it to your way out, limit it, question it… And they are worrying.

So much, actually, that it is getting to you. And in the last days you can’t help by looking around you through their eyes, starting to notice so many holes in a place that was starting to really feel like home to you. You are starting, simply, to wonder what are you doing, is it really worth it all this struggle?

And the simple answer is yes. It does have that importance. This journey that you found or created, that you chose for yourself. There is a reason why you already did so much for it… It’s just that it takes time, to have the big results and progress. It takes time for them to show on the outside, for others to see, and not only in front of you, who spends so much time working on it, that you notice every single little change about it.

It’s not that it’s wrong, or that others don’t believe in you and your choices… It’s only them worrying, trying to understand you and what you are doing, while you are protecting it so fiercely to the point of hiding it.

Because you are doing it, you did kind of isolate yourself and this journey. Not showing to others the little steps, the stops, the decisions, the practice. You are keeping it close to your chest, afraid that others, if they’d to see even only a tiny part of it, might destroy it. Have too much to say about it, about what and how you are doing, be too judgemental, put you down with their opinions, that you are afraid might just be too negative and harsh to let them touch something that is becoming so deeply precious for you.

You are afraid, and this is too important, I understand it. But they deserve to understand it too. The ones that love you and care for you so deeply, that they are consuming themselves in thoughts about you. They might not show it or communicate in the most delicate and right way, it’s true. But still they are only afraid, and want to know you safe, doing something that they could help you with if needed, something that they know enough about so they could guide you. But there is no malice in it. Only worry and only way they feel like they could be there for you.

And this is why there is no need for you to let go of it, even though you were already starting to prepare to say goodbye and live your life with this bittersweet feeling… You just need to breathe. And open up a little bit. Consistently. Showing what you are doing, sharing your thoughts and ideas. Talking about it, allowing your love for it to flow through the words you are saying. Answering their questions, even if they are sounding harsh, with patience and intention. So they can, one answer after another, start to understand more of what really this is, and what it means for you, how it is making you feel now that it is part of your life.

They do care for you. They always did. And no matter their ways, they always learned to cherish the things that you loved. This one is only too intimate, and thanks to you hidden. And no matter how much they would like, they can’t see the reality of it just from their perspective. But they can, and absolutely will, see and feel it once you allow them. They will see your sparkling eyes, and hear your excited voice, and they will comprehend completely. Passing from being someone that you feel is threatening you, to being the ones that will fight harder even than you at times, to make this desire of yours real and possible.

They want to support you. They just don’t know how or why. And if you give them a chance to fall in love with this journey through you and the way you see and feel it, they will do anything to help you make it work.

There will be, in a certain sense, some weight to carry. Some things to learn to keep on you, to not throw it away so easily, when the path gets less steady. Some things that, fortunately, you already know of - you only need to do it really, to practice for the first time your willingness to protect and fight for something that you care for.

Because, more easily put, there aren’t greater obstacles now on this path than the ones you see, you look for, on your own. Through those doubts and overthinking that just will catch up to you, after these few moments of conviction. They are, and will be, only in your mind, whispers of a mean play pretend in which you will invole the ones around you without them knowing. Before they will speak, you will already think to know which words they will say, in which tone, how harsh and judgemental they will be. Unable to stop it even when you will hurt, just by your own hands and without others being aware of the perception that you have of them.

It will be a battle, a challenge, a silent one that you will, at least at first, tend to handle on your own, keeping it private. But it will be also one that, without knowing nor wanting, you will be creating with your own hands. With your own thoughts.

And it will be a difficult one, because you are that strong and that convincing to your own self. After all, you practiced your whole life doing this. Pretending to protect yourself, while simply guessing the opinions of others, for some reason negative more than the postive ones.

But still, there is a weapon that you can use against yourself and that stubborn mind of yours. A much more gentle and effective one. The one of waiting, and focusing, and letting the little progress and changes for the best to speak for themselves, rather than trying to create some statistics before their appearance.

There is nothing greater than simply proof. Physical. Material. Undeniable. And although you don’t have that much of it now… The future holds a different story. Or at least it could, if you give it just some little more room, a little benefit of the doubt, to demonstrate you the opposite of what those negative thoughts keep repeating to you.

The world keeps moving, it doesn’t wait for you. Not even for your own fears and convictions. The situations, the paths, keep on evolving slowly but steadily. And they will do the same this time too, while you will still be pondering. They will change, bloom, show more of themselves in your life and in you. To the point that no one could ever deny it, no one could ignore it. Not the ones around you that weren’t convinced of it, nor you yourself, even though you will still be overwhelmed with this uncertainty.

For once, your roles will be reversed. You will be the one, unknowingly, creating this challenge. And the world, the path itself, will be the one to solve it regardless, by simply showing you your worth and your deservingness, the rightfulness of your own choices and intuition.

It will take time. It won’t be all lovey dovey just because you’ve read a message that gave you some motivation in the moment… But it also won’t be a tragedy that you’d expect, that you will prepare yourself for, just because you won’t be able to satisfy your own expectations in time.

This time, in this situation, you don’t need to do nothing more or less. Just keep on doing exactly what you were until now. Follow this path, its calling. Trust it. Or focus on it, no matter if you are convinced or scared. Don’t limit yourself, but don’t push either.

And, little by little, it will resolve on its own everything, even the opinions of others that you think that you need now to fight off, before attempting any next step.

They will be dealt with, in the most natural and simple way - they will have proves that they won’t be able to ignore, and will be gently pushed to open up their mind to your visions and dreams too, not only theirs that they chose for you. They will understand, eventually, they are capable of it. But it’s not your responsibility to make them do it now. At this moment you only need to show them that little glimpse of you and your journey that will give you enough room and conviction to keep on going. And the rest will grow on its own, shift and adjust, in the right way for this path of yours, for that goal that you can already feel between your fingers.

p.s. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for letting me read for you ♡

More of my readings | My tip jar | Personal guidance

- Pile Two,

(the heart: the high priestess and the empress)

Details of the “Sappho”, by Ferdinand Keller ♡

So much of our lives is influenced by other people. By our connections, our bonds with others. A little gesture can fill our heart and make a day better. A few words or their absence could start to break us slowly… And when it happens all together, hot and cold, sweet and bitter… It is truly difficult to understand what really this is all about, what this connection is, or if this person is someone that we want to have by our side. We don’t know if this is only a moment, a difficult phase, a misunderstanding… Or some intentional games that they are making us play without any warning.

So we go to others, to their opinions, to their perspectives. We put faith into them, our heart in their hands. Confident that by not being too involved they will see the truth and tell us. That they can and will guide us out of it, if we ended up in a trap without knowing it… But although the both of you could have the best intentions and convictions, at times it could happen that the mission of salvation changes the whole story and its narration.

We might be too overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings, and skip some parts and moments when we are talking about the situation. And the ones listening, caring so deeply for us, could lose sight of the other person, focusing only on the one they want to save at all costs… And this way, one little thing after another, more than a truthful analysis of the situation and its evaluation that you’ve hoped for, it becomes more of a preparation for a battle, everything get exaggerated, the pressure rises. And eventually, the only answer remaining, the one that truly feels like the logic one, is to say goodbyes and go away, somewhere further from them. But once the answer is ready, this one in particular, and the only other thing to do is to take action… It's not so easy nor natural, is it? To let go of someone that even with all the challenges, or maybe because of them, still feels like home regardless?

There might be a lot of details to a story, a lot of things that could change our whole perspective on it. At times it means that it might be difficult to understand and see the warning on our own - we really do need someone else to notice some things instead of us, and show them, guiding us away from trouble. But at other times, too many details, might also mean that no one else could ever understand apart from us all that is happening. Moments, gestures, words, emotions. Sometimes it’s not only about good or bad, gentle or mean, genuine or manipulative. Sometimes it really is about the things in the life of that person, what they are going through, things that they need to learn or are still struggling with. Sometimes it’s even simply us, how we ourselves don’t notice something, because in the moment they just hurt too deeply…

And this time, for you, in this moment, it seems like the latter. It seems to be something that unfortunately you can’t and shouldn’t hand to others, hoping that they will guide you. This one person, this one connection… It is your to take care of. Simply because there are too many nuances that others couldn’t grasp even if they wanted to. Things that, although so little, really do hold the secrets and the keys to what is happening.

But you already know it, you already understood it. You felt it in your heart when others said to you to let go of them, but you just couldn’t. And it wasn’t anger, fear, or desperation that stopped you… It was only a calm conviction that there is more to this that needs to be understood and be taken care of.

You are not ready to let go, or to surrender, to the idea that what they are doing is on purpose, that you need to be saved. And that’s okay. Not all connections that are struggling are not mean to be. Not all people that hurt do so for the sake of it.

And for once you could trust your heart on it. And you could give it time, just some little more, just to be sure of it. A real and honest chance to make things work, calmly, with intention, with understanding towards each other that only you two seem to have, no matter how much you could try to explain it to others.

Perhaps for this time it is not a delusion or fear of something. The difficulty to let go of someone. Perhaps it really is just intuition, a deeper knowledge that it is not only the bad things that could make it so easy to label it as failing. Perhaps it’s really you, and them, and this connection that needs just a little bit more of care and patience. Something that might not look like it at first, and not be seen by others, but that you can feel deep down. And sometimes it’s the only needed sign and answer.

There are things, there are situations, that simply need the space and freedom to change, to go through phases. The ups and downs. The challenges, the obstacles, the backsets. All the big and little tests that force us to prove and affirm again and again that this is what we want. This is what is so precious for our hearts now.

This situation is one of those. And this moment… is one of the first affirmations that you’ll be doing, for yourself, for your person, for those around you.

Unfortunately it means that things will not become easier after this decision. They will not start to take care of themseves on their own, just because you chose to stay, while you enjoy your connection without any overthinking… It will still be all here. Both your doubts and the ones of others. And the mistakes, the arguments, the misunderstandings. It will need much more time and work to really take care of it and make sure of using this new chance of yours… But, perhaps exactly because of this, it will still be worth it.

Because it will be realistic, it will be normal. That the other person might need more practice to understand and correct themselves. That you might need more space to be ready to forgive completely and trust your intution. And that others might need more time to see the proofs of your feelings, of your intentions towards each other that are indeed strong enough to work it through all of this…

These challenges that will take their sweet time in remaining in the past, will be ironically the ones that will make you feel more confident of the realness of all of it. It will be felt, completely, this progress and victory of yours, when you will finally live them.

No lies. No plays. Just real and honest commitment. That kind that creates something that will truly last. In every sense and form. In your memories, in your hearts, in the parts of you that will grow and mature through all of it.

It won’t be easy, not at first. But you won’t be afraid of it. You will understand that this is exactly what it needs to be real and undeniable.

p.s. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for letting me read for you ♡

More of my readings | My tip jar | Personal guidance

[thatfrailsoul]

- Don't you let go of me

Are others seeing something that you don't? Or does the heart of yours, that is not ready to let go, know more than all of you? / a tarot pick a pile reading ♡

piles → one and two ♡

There are some moments in which, for one reason or another, it feels like no one really listens or understands, no one really is that close to you as they are supposed to. You speak your mind, your truth, your emotions… And when you look up, expecting to find that support and comfort, it’s all just empty, and silent. Those people, those places that are supposed to be your home, feel like one, become just a trap with its likeness. A place in which you can have the support you look for, where you can be welcomed, but only if you first change your mind, command your heart, and learn to see the world the way they are doing it.

And at first, it seems so obvious what is the right thing. To go away, to turn your back on them, protect yourself and the life that is calling you… And yet it is so difficult to do it, it’s much more complicated. You love them. You need them. Almost enough to start doubting your own self, listening closely to their wishes and decisions that they want for you.

Now it is one of those moments for you. You are getting closer to change your mind, to just trust them, in the name of the love you feel for them or, perhaps, the authority they seem to have on you… But, although in some things it might be indeed useful and important to have a different opinion - there is one thing that is perfect the way it is about you: a decision, a vision, a dream... There is something that is yours, that by calling you is bringing you exactly where you are supposed to be in this life, and that is important for you to hold onto.

So… Slow down for a moment. Breathe deeply. Soften your gaze and allow it to show you where your message is hiding. The one from the thing that you are about to sacrifice, by trusting others.

Which pile is calling you..?

Pile One

Pile Two

Voting ended onJul 27

- Pile One,

(the fish: the wheel of fortune and the page of cups)

Details of the "Sappho", by Ferdinand Keller ♡

There is a journey that… Didn’t even call you, nor found you on its own. It was you who went out of your way to look for it, to search for something that could welcome you and your passion, your desire, and take care of it. Nurture it, make it grow and bloom… And show others around you that it was that serious, more than they ever believed you.

You looked for it, you found it, you started it. One step after another, you made slow but steady progress. And although on the outside, in its material manifestation it didn’t look like that much… What really was a lot is the way it made you feel, the way it unlocked you all of the sudden. Just the chance to do it, to experience it, to finally live what before only stayed hidden in your ideas and daydreaming… Made you feel like a new version of you, one that just seems more fitting, as it hugs perfectly your soul, its desires and needs now.

But while for you your entire world is changing, the way you see it, the way you feel and live it… For others is not really that deep, or important. From where they stand, although it is so close to you, they still see only a fraction of it. One that is not convincing them, not when they see how hard you are working on it, how much you are sacrificing, putting your intention and attention all in one place.

They don’t do it with bad intentions, they really don’t. But their version of what is happening is so different from yours that it kind of shakes you, pushes you down from the clouds where you were starting to enjoy yourself so much. They talk about the future, about the foundations. About the certainties and deadlines. They remind you of a side of the world that you tried to escape from. They connect it to your way out, limit it, question it… And they are worrying.

So much, actually, that it is getting to you. And in the last days you can’t help by looking around you through their eyes, starting to notice so many holes in a place that was starting to really feel like home to you. You are starting, simply, to wonder what are you doing, is it really worth it all this struggle?

And the simple answer is yes. It does have that importance. This journey that you found or created, that you chose for yourself. There is a reason why you already did so much for it… It’s just that it takes time, to have the big results and progress. It takes time for them to show on the outside, for others to see, and not only in front of you, who spends so much time working on it, that you notice every single little change about it.

It’s not that it’s wrong, or that others don’t believe in you and your choices… It’s only them worrying, trying to understand you and what you are doing, while you are protecting it so fiercely to the point of hiding it.

Because you are doing it, you did kind of isolate yourself and this journey. Not showing to others the little steps, the stops, the decisions, the practice. You are keeping it close to your chest, afraid that others, if they’d to see even only a tiny part of it, might destroy it. Have too much to say about it, about what and how you are doing, be too judgemental, put you down with their opinions, that you are afraid might just be too negative and harsh to let them touch something that is becoming so deeply precious for you.

You are afraid, and this is too important, I understand it. But they deserve to understand it too. The ones that love you and care for you so deeply, that they are consuming themselves in thoughts about you. They might not show it or communicate in the most delicate and right way, it’s true. But still they are only afraid, and want to know you safe, doing something that they could help you with if needed, something that they know enough about so they could guide you. But there is no malice in it. Only worry and only way they feel like they could be there for you.

And this is why there is no need for you to let go of it, even though you were already starting to prepare to say goodbye and live your life with this bittersweet feeling… You just need to breathe. And open up a little bit. Consistently. Showing what you are doing, sharing your thoughts and ideas. Talking about it, allowing your love for it to flow through the words you are saying. Answering their questions, even if they are sounding harsh, with patience and intention. So they can, one answer after another, start to understand more of what really this is, and what it means for you, how it is making you feel now that it is part of your life.

They do care for you. They always did. And no matter their ways, they always learned to cherish the things that you loved. This one is only too intimate, and thanks to you hidden. And no matter how much they would like, they can’t see the reality of it just from their perspective. But they can, and absolutely will, see and feel it once you allow them. They will see your sparkling eyes, and hear your excited voice, and they will comprehend completely. Passing from being someone that you feel is threatening you, to being the ones that will fight harder even than you at times, to make this desire of yours real and possible.

They want to support you. They just don’t know how or why. And if you give them a chance to fall in love with this journey through you and the way you see and feel it, they will do anything to help you make it work.

There will be, in a certain sense, some weight to carry. Some things to learn to keep on you, to not throw it away so easily, when the path gets less steady. Some things that, fortunately, you already know of - you only need to do it really, to practice for the first time your willingness to protect and fight for something that you care for.

Because, more easily put, there aren’t greater obstacles now on this path than the ones you see, you look for, on your own. Through those doubts and overthinking that just will catch up to you, after these few moments of conviction. They are, and will be, only in your mind, whispers of a mean play pretend in which you will invole the ones around you without them knowing. Before they will speak, you will already think to know which words they will say, in which tone, how harsh and judgemental they will be. Unable to stop it even when you will hurt, just by your own hands and without others being aware of the perception that you have of them.

It will be a battle, a challenge, a silent one that you will, at least at first, tend to handle on your own, keeping it private. But it will be also one that, without knowing nor wanting, you will be creating with your own hands. With your own thoughts.

And it will be a difficult one, because you are that strong and that convincing to your own self. After all, you practiced your whole life doing this. Pretending to protect yourself, while simply guessing the opinions of others, for some reason negative more than the postive ones.

But still, there is a weapon that you can use against yourself and that stubborn mind of yours. A much more gentle and effective one. The one of waiting, and focusing, and letting the little progress and changes for the best to speak for themselves, rather than trying to create some statistics before their appearance.

There is nothing greater than simply proof. Physical. Material. Undeniable. And although you don’t have that much of it now… The future holds a different story. Or at least it could, if you give it just some little more room, a little benefit of the doubt, to demonstrate you the opposite of what those negative thoughts keep repeating to you.

The world keeps moving, it doesn’t wait for you. Not even for your own fears and convictions. The situations, the paths, keep on evolving slowly but steadily. And they will do the same this time too, while you will still be pondering. They will change, bloom, show more of themselves in your life and in you. To the point that no one could ever deny it, no one could ignore it. Not the ones around you that weren’t convinced of it, nor you yourself, even though you will still be overwhelmed with this uncertainty.

For once, your roles will be reversed. You will be the one, unknowingly, creating this challenge. And the world, the path itself, will be the one to solve it regardless, by simply showing you your worth and your deservingness, the rightfulness of your own choices and intuition.

It will take time. It won’t be all lovey dovey just because you’ve read a message that gave you some motivation in the moment… But it also won’t be a tragedy that you’d expect, that you will prepare yourself for, just because you won’t be able to satisfy your own expectations in time.

This time, in this situation, you don’t need to do nothing more or less. Just keep on doing exactly what you were until now. Follow this path, its calling. Trust it. Or focus on it, no matter if you are convinced or scared. Don’t limit yourself, but don’t push either.

And, little by little, it will resolve on its own everything, even the opinions of others that you think that you need now to fight off, before attempting any next step.

They will be dealt with, in the most natural and simple way - they will have proves that they won’t be able to ignore, and will be gently pushed to open up their mind to your visions and dreams too, not only theirs that they chose for you. They will understand, eventually, they are capable of it. But it’s not your responsibility to make them do it now. At this moment you only need to show them that little glimpse of you and your journey that will give you enough room and conviction to keep on going. And the rest will grow on its own, shift and adjust, in the right way for this path of yours, for that goal that you can already feel between your fingers.

p.s. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for letting me read for you ♡

More of my readings | My tip jar | Personal guidance

- Pile Two,

(the heart: the high priestess and the empress)

Details of the “Sappho”, by Ferdinand Keller ♡

So much of our lives is influenced by other people. By our connections, our bonds with others. A little gesture can fill our heart and make a day better. A few words or their absence could start to break us slowly… And when it happens all together, hot and cold, sweet and bitter… It is truly difficult to understand what really this is all about, what this connection is, or if this person is someone that we want to have by our side. We don’t know if this is only a moment, a difficult phase, a misunderstanding… Or some intentional games that they are making us play without any warning.

So we go to others, to their opinions, to their perspectives. We put faith into them, our heart in their hands. Confident that by not being too involved they will see the truth and tell us. That they can and will guide us out of it, if we ended up in a trap without knowing it… But although the both of you could have the best intentions and convictions, at times it could happen that the mission of salvation changes the whole story and its narration.

We might be too overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings, and skip some parts and moments when we are talking about the situation. And the ones listening, caring so deeply for us, could lose sight of the other person, focusing only on the one they want to save at all costs… And this way, one little thing after another, more than a truthful analysis of the situation and its evaluation that you’ve hoped for, it becomes more of a preparation for a battle, everything get exaggerated, the pressure rises. And eventually, the only answer remaining, the one that truly feels like the logic one, is to say goodbyes and go away, somewhere further from them. But once the answer is ready, this one in particular, and the only other thing to do is to take action… It's not so easy nor natural, is it? To let go of someone that even with all the challenges, or maybe because of them, still feels like home regardless?

There might be a lot of details to a story, a lot of things that could change our whole perspective on it. At times it means that it might be difficult to understand and see the warning on our own - we really do need someone else to notice some things instead of us, and show them, guiding us away from trouble. But at other times, too many details, might also mean that no one else could ever understand apart from us all that is happening. Moments, gestures, words, emotions. Sometimes it’s not only about good or bad, gentle or mean, genuine or manipulative. Sometimes it really is about the things in the life of that person, what they are going through, things that they need to learn or are still struggling with. Sometimes it’s even simply us, how we ourselves don’t notice something, because in the moment they just hurt too deeply…

And this time, for you, in this moment, it seems like the latter. It seems to be something that unfortunately you can’t and shouldn’t hand to others, hoping that they will guide you. This one person, this one connection… It is your to take care of. Simply because there are too many nuances that others couldn’t grasp even if they wanted to. Things that, although so little, really do hold the secrets and the keys to what is happening.

But you already know it, you already understood it. You felt it in your heart when others said to you to let go of them, but you just couldn’t. And it wasn’t anger, fear, or desperation that stopped you… It was only a calm conviction that there is more to this that needs to be understood and be taken care of.

You are not ready to let go, or to surrender, to the idea that what they are doing is on purpose, that you need to be saved. And that’s okay. Not all connections that are struggling are not mean to be. Not all people that hurt do so for the sake of it.

And for once you could trust your heart on it. And you could give it time, just some little more, just to be sure of it. A real and honest chance to make things work, calmly, with intention, with understanding towards each other that only you two seem to have, no matter how much you could try to explain it to others.

Perhaps for this time it is not a delusion or fear of something. The difficulty to let go of someone. Perhaps it really is just intuition, a deeper knowledge that it is not only the bad things that could make it so easy to label it as failing. Perhaps it’s really you, and them, and this connection that needs just a little bit more of care and patience. Something that might not look like it at first, and not be seen by others, but that you can feel deep down. And sometimes it’s the only needed sign and answer.

There are things, there are situations, that simply need the space and freedom to change, to go through phases. The ups and downs. The challenges, the obstacles, the backsets. All the big and little tests that force us to prove and affirm again and again that this is what we want. This is what is so precious for our hearts now.

This situation is one of those. And this moment… is one of the first affirmations that you’ll be doing, for yourself, for your person, for those around you.

Unfortunately it means that things will not become easier after this decision. They will not start to take care of themseves on their own, just because you chose to stay, while you enjoy your connection without any overthinking… It will still be all here. Both your doubts and the ones of others. And the mistakes, the arguments, the misunderstandings. It will need much more time and work to really take care of it and make sure of using this new chance of yours… But, perhaps exactly because of this, it will still be worth it.

Because it will be realistic, it will be normal. That the other person might need more practice to understand and correct themselves. That you might need more space to be ready to forgive completely and trust your intution. And that others might need more time to see the proofs of your feelings, of your intentions towards each other that are indeed strong enough to work it through all of this…

These challenges that will take their sweet time in remaining in the past, will be ironically the ones that will make you feel more confident of the realness of all of it. It will be felt, completely, this progress and victory of yours, when you will finally live them.

No lies. No plays. Just real and honest commitment. That kind that creates something that will truly last. In every sense and form. In your memories, in your hearts, in the parts of you that will grow and mature through all of it.

It won’t be easy, not at first. But you won’t be afraid of it. You will understand that this is exactly what it needs to be real and undeniable.

p.s. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for letting me read for you ♡

More of my readings | My tip jar | Personal guidance

[thatfrailsoul]

Guyssss look what I saw between the trenches of the tree next to my window, while I was working on this week's reading 🥺🩷

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[thatfrailsoul]

Wanted to share some details of "The Favorite", 1892, by Max Nonnenbruch, that inspired my latest reading.♡