Would you be interested in writing some self aware Telemon?
Like one day he “wakes up” and is hit with the horror of “I’m not real so why tf am I alive?”
In the midst of this harrowing revelation he ends up latching onto a player; maybe they accidentally comforted him.
To everyone else it looks like the account is active again or got hacked and is now weirdly attached to some rando.
Thread: The One and Only Original Experience
(Self Aware!Telamon x GN!Reader)
—————————
Xx_egg_lord25_xX
I think i started tweaking a little when aero told me about this ask. i have a slight suspicion on who requested this but, oh well. if my suspicions are right, then this might be one of my favorite writers.
—————————
Re: same as last time, heres all you need to know about the story:
warnings: telamon, very subtle obsessive behavior due to your last sentence in your request
format: oneshot, headcanons
type: fluff, romantic, slight angst because of existential dread
important notes:
Telamon uses he/them. he also speaks in the third person.
Reader will be spoken in the second person and third person (they/them). Reader’s user is [USERNAME]. I know, pretty original if i do say so myself. (its a stand in for your actual user but its funnier this way.)
summary: telamon is suffering the highs and lows of life in the few hours they’re sentient. Then plays games with you
—————————
this might be a little longer then expected. formatting is a little weird but we ball
theres a part two at the end
< past post | expand forum | next post >
“The One and Only Original Experience”
It all happened.
It was like a 4 year old gaining awareness for the first time.
Telamon was confused. Where was he? What’s happening?
Despite not having any prior memories about actual experiences, he instinctively knew what he was.
A admin. Someone whose purpose is to protect and control all Robloxians in this digital world.
Yeah. of course! They’re one of the most important and powerful beings on this website.
… that’s what he initially thought.
After staring into the void of endless copy & paste and slop games, he finally brought himself to join SWORD FIGHT ON THE HEIGHTS IV. No not the remakes. The one he (technically) made.
It was slightly disappointing to see the difference between the fan made remake’s and the original’s player counts be different, the fan one having a more active and consistent audience.
He spawned on the highest point of the map, surrounded by pillars. Looks like he joined into a quiet server, there was only one other person. He didn’t bother to really check as he was inspecting the admin controls at his array. They summoned an illumina, tilting the bright highlighted weapon as if he’s been wielding the sword since millennia.
Oh yeah, this was much more of his style.
Looking over the edge of where he was perched, he spotted one singular player at the center map where the fire ring resigned. They seem to be walking around in a small circle, as if they were a dog chasing its tail. probably waiting for someone to join and engage in battle.
They certainly had a very interesting avatar, that’s for sure. New items that he’s never seen before. But oh well, he didn’t care. Besides, either way, this was-
His most newest victim. Heh.
All of the sudden, he activates the Illumina. Dashing to the unsuspecting player. Said player physically jumps as they finally realize that they were, in fact, not alone in this dead game. But that couldn’t save them this time.
Telamon shift locks, spinning his own avatar to create a larger hit box and add more burst damage. he watches as the unnamed player’s avatar explodes off each of their limbs before suddenly disappearing as if nobody was just PWNED here.
[USERNAME]: THE HELL???
Said the player who he had just utterly destroyed. He felt… great! His competitive nature started to flare up in excitement. He expected the other to start spewing insults and claims of being a “bot”, and honestly, it would’ve made his ego(hey) go over the roof-
[USERNAME]: wait a sec
Oh? Did they finally recognize the true one and only Telamon and all of his righteousness?
[USERNAME]: is this the real Telamon
Telamon ✓: Of course Telamon is himself.
[USERNAME]: no way in hell
Heh, seems like someone is finally understands what true glory they’re witnessing
[USERNAME]: this gotta be some hacker
[USERNAME]: yo acc hasnt been active for years
What.
Huh.
Telamon stood there. No motion coming from their avatar except for the built in idle stance as he absorbed the new found knowledge. He didn’t even move a stud as [USERNAME] walks towards them. It’s not like the stranger was an opponent close to his level, he could easily wiped the avatar off of its feet. But [USERNAME] had unequipped their sword, so he suppose that he’d spare them from his untouchable skills.
Besides, he was too busy thinking.
It’s not true…
It literally can’t be true! It felt like it was practically yesterday he was answering confused and (no offense) idiotic Robloxians on forums. Maybe this was just a whole big misunderstan-
[USERNAME]: you good?
Of course he was good, he felt better than good! They felt godly! He was SUPPOSED to feel godly.
… he didn’t feel great at all.
Telamon ✓: Telamon is himself.
…
Telamon ✓: No hacker involved.
Another awkward silence was held in the chat. He suddenly stepped a little closer to the avatar in front of them
[USERNAME]: okay okay
[USERNAME]: i believe you
Telamon ✓: Good.
Telamon ✓: What is it like now?
[USERNAME]: what
Telamon ✓: Robloxia.
[USERNAME]: oh uhm
[USERNAME]: a lot has changed since you were last online
[USERNAME]: its really hard to explain without showing
He said nothing.
[USERNAME]: sorry
Silence again.
Truly the most intriguing conversation in all of Roblox.
Then suddenly, from [USERNAME]’s point of view, they got a connection request from Telamon.
what what what what what what
[USERNAME]: was that by mistake
Telamon ✓: Show him.
Telamon ✓: Show him what this platform is like now.
Those messages popped up a little too quickly in the chat. But whatever, [USERNAME] accepted his connection request.
Oh wow. They’re seriously just became an affiliate with THE telamon. it’s totally like they weren’t freaking behind the screen. Or more specifically, you were freaking behind the screen.
welp, looks like you have to show what this place has become to Telamon now.
—————————
Whenever you join a game, he’ll be there.
yes this is a threat
It doesn’t matter what type of game it is, he’ll still join you.
Especially joke games (Like cart ride into 17 pregnant hyenas). They love also admin abusing in these games as people freak out on the fact that he is, again, Telamon.
if its one of those scenery experiences, he’ll follow along as always. Maybe just chat to you as you both sit on the swinging bench.
Sometimes the conversation you both hold can be life changing, for you but mostly for telamon. Sometimes it’s just meaningless small talk with “how was your day” or “what’s on your mind. Sometimes they’re just him bragging about “his prime.”
Though, stay there to long when he says “he’s bored and needs entertainment”, he’ll somehow teleport you to either SFOTH or any fighting game that had peak Interesting.
He is a quick learner so don’t worry too much about teaching the basics to them about any games.
Along side with that fact, he is also observant of other players and how they act.
He did express his distaste for how often he sees sexualization of… almost everything one time, while you were both sitting on rocks by the golden sea.
but, its rare for them to open up about such topics. They’d rather live in bliss and consistent dopamine, but. They’re not stupid. Far from that. So, he’s willing to be uncomfortable if it ment having another day hanging around you.
Well, he did become connections with you to see what this platform has become and try to “fit in”. Like a gramps trying to learn new slang. So the fact that when he friended you, it said “connection”, he felt confused. That’s the best way to explain it.
He doesn’t show this thoughtful side of him to the public of course. He only did with you, since no one could literally understand his situation. You were simply only to accept him for who he truly was. Even if takes a long time for you to settle into your own absurd situation. Not the real man himself, but the manifestation of the account itself. Personality built on words that their account had said.
But enough of this sob story, back to how he treats you.
he back shots you whenever he can.
Yeah, you heard that right. He kept seeing players who were friends and players who obviously liked another’s avatar doing such acts and thought, happens enough, must be normal.
He doesn’t care if you turn to face him suddenly, he just move and continue. Unless your back is blocked by a wall, then he’ll front shot you. If you state that you’re uncomfortable with it, he’ll stop. He has standards.
If he can’t back shot you, he’ll just stand on your head.
They basically only interact with you.
It’s not a surprise that he is swarmed by curious, confused, and excited players. Of course, a once dormant yet well known account now active. Extremely active.
It boosts his ego by thousands but it does annoy him if the chat is spammed and he cant see your messages.
He says their greetings once in a while to the crowd before going back affectionately bullying you.
People have audibly stated out loud as a joke that Telamon (sometime people call Shedletsky) is obsessed. Telamon won’t agree but won’t deny as well.
They also have a very vague idea on who Shedletsky is. Sure they can grasp that it’s technically them but, he doesn’t really associate himself with the account. Especially not the real guy.
He wants you to only pay attention to him.
If someone was bullying/toxic to you, he’ll happily target them in every way he can. Sure he can get kicked from the game he didn’t give two shits as long as he isn’t banned.
It feels like sleeping while he’s banned. But there’s also a slight guilt when he “wakes up” for the fact that he was not able to contact you for however long his ban was.
If he ever gets a ban for more than 1 month, he’d die a little inside. If it was for more then a year…
He also doesn’t like it if you start to focus on a new stranger for a little too long in a game. He just might to accidentally kick them from the experience. Saying that “oh, they must’ve simply disconnected. What a shame.”
If you’re playing with your friends and you seem happy enough, he’ll reluctantly be less annoying and all up in your face. They’ll still follow you around like a lost puppy though.
Catch him in a game without you, probably pwning everyone in sight. He sounds normal but his dialogue has a little undertone of annoyance. It’s hard to tell with how unbothered he sounds at all times.
Sometimes calls you loving nicknames as a way to catch your attention. like the stereotypical “dear”, or “sweetheart”
He really likes showing off.
Whenever you spectate him in a skill based game, he’ll do everything to try to impress you.
And if you have a cosplay of telamon. I personally think they’ll just start spewing out compliments.
Telamon ✓: Telamon finds your eagerness of your appreciation towards him, heart warming.
Telamon ✓: Of course, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
He enjoys head canon designs, seeing that he is perceived as a god in the modern times.
But gets real jealous if you talk about a telamon cosplayer’s avatar a little too long for his liking. Why fawn over wannabes when you can have the real thing beside you
—————————
Re: jesus christ man
i talk way too long. but i did have fun writing bro. its totally not like im biased or anything
men and women are not opposites. men and women are not enemies. men and women are two parts of a broad coalition which fights against a mutual enemy: inkjet printers
writing is easy! first you must explain something you do not understand, you must express the turmoil within a person using dots and lines, you must craft a living world using hands that were never made to. and then you die
I like the detail of the Postman never actually delivering anything. The one time we see a package is one in which he takes the thing with him as opposed to dropping it off, it’s just another testament to the fact that the game is trying to be new. Set you up for something new yet reminiscent of old times and do nothing else! It’s why it deprives them of anything to hold onto, anything reminiscent of a time ‘before’ what’s already supposed to replicate the past.
‘Nostalgia’, to ANHG, is a longing for the first time you opened the book, for lack of a better description. It constantly drags the Player back to the first page in the hopes of them staying in their dead game (and, well, it clearly doesn’t work, both due to SMILE’S influence and the time-loop-esque nature of it all rendering it easy for him to turn the Player in the direction he wants to spin them in), hence, this.
There's this whole story unfolding on TikTok right now about this account that got popular — a woman in the US who calls up churches & pretends to have a starving newborn that hasn't eaten since last evening & asks them if they could help her out with a can of formula. Unsurprisingly, none of the ridiculous megachurches actually ever say yes, and the churches & other religious institutions that did say yes are getting lots of support from people.
But I just saw a video of a TT user explaining that they decided to do their own little social experiment — by walking up to drug dealers on the street, telling them there's a young woman with a baby who needs help with formula, and literally all of them immediately reached into their pockets. In this story, the OP did have a real neighbor with a baby who ended up getting some much needed baby supplies. Thanks to the charity of local drug dealers.
A lot of Americans are learning that their rich white Christian churches are less willing to help their communities than black churches, mosques, buddhist temples, the satanic temple & apparently also crack dealers.
