I should get my head straight
There's so much hope that I put in everything else but me. I don’t know why, but it seems that I can’t rely only on myself, I don’t know…
Apparently I do not have a really strong foundation to hold everything I need, every feeling I feel looks like it's always pouring out of myself and I keep relying on others, and at the same time I feel like I have nobody to rely on.
And I just forget and try again and again, just to hit the next wall.
Nothing really matters and I should be happy about it… but I don’t know, maybe I wish it wasn’t like that?! Shouldn't something matter? Shouldn’t everything matter? Or I should matter to someone or someone should matters to me? Why not?
There’s nothing ever solid enough I guess, and that shit fucks me up. It’s like holding a snowball… except that I never had that experience so actually maybe should I have more travel experiences? I think I’m losing the purpose here, if at any moment this writing had any.
