there was something to be said about their mutual degrees of stubbornness in times like these - to where it could be perceived like a physical game of chess, who could get who to break. she never minded playing the game and if any, it was one she relished in because she knew ultimately, it would benefit both of them in the end.
raising an eyebrow at his challenging words, she fully intended to up the ante, but with slow, subtle movements and a lingering eye contact that borderlined on both mischief and sickening innocence. so, when he also grabbed her hands to keep her from touching on the skin underneath her shirt, she gave him a soft pout. “no?” she asked sweetly, even if her next words and actions were anything but. “You know I don’t mind things being a bit harder.”
and if he wanted her to work for it, then work she would. “so, then … in that case, you wouldn’t mind if I did this?” she brought their joined hands up for her to kiss every single knuckle of his. it was affectionate, sure, but as soon as she got down to the last chuckle, she made sure he was watching every movement that followed. “…or this?” there wasn’t much of a barrier between the fleece shorts she was wearing and the sweatpants he donned, her hips able to create a bit of friction from where she sat in his lap. it was slow, purposeful, intent with coaxing a reaction within its fluid movement.
for every line in the sand, every boundary, she would be right there to meet him there and further it, without question. they were equals in that way, spurred on by the reactions of the other, and it was evident the way that she continued to push him. to see what he would say or even better, do.
the pseudo-insult ... if you could even call it that, garnered nothing more than a chuckle. for as much as he was exerting near herculean strength not to, she could tell she was chipping away, bit by slow bit.
"as I've been told... by a proper dickhead, too." she was glad she was able to get that out, one last bit of her own defiance - because in what followed, thoughts became fuzzier.
once he got close enough to feel his breath on her, it was instinctual for her to lean in, to want more. and then she felt his hand.
he hadn't began to squeeze just yet - but from just the implication alone, a gasp fell from her lips and her back gave way to a gentle arch in his lap, only increasing the rhythm from where she sat.
"...you fucking won't." she grunted, a blatant challenge now while her smaller hand curled around his wrist. "because if you were...you would have taken what's yours by now." her words held as much conviction as she could muster, but the tone and the sentiment underneath was quickly becoming laced with need.
now, she would wait, holding still and not daring to move his hand away from her.
Violet, by no means, was under any kind of false pretenses about the unique dynamic she had with Max. While she would definitely say she was the more outwardly expressive of her feelings and emotions, it wasn’t to say that she expected or even wanted him to be similar.
They weren’t the couple who often did these absurd declarations of love or these grand romantic gestures, but she wouldn’t change it for anything - because in the moments that mattered? The quiet moments, the still moments, the moments that didn’t hold an ounce of pomp and circumstance? That’s what meant the most to her. The only thing she would ever be concerned with when it came to their relationship was making sure that he, and he alone, knew how much she truly loved him.
so when the teasing resumed and their moments of earnest were now well past, it was easy to fall into just them. from where she rested her head, she inhaled, seemingly to bring herself closer to him if at all possible. it was only with a slight hesitance of her own that she allowed him to pull away to look at her.
once his words hit her ears, it was her turn now to give a dramatic sigh and a roll of her eyes, like even just what he was suggesting was a clear affront to her sensibilities. “…if we must.”
moving her hands down from his neck, she trailed them slowly down his chest, to where she was looking to trace her fingertips under his hem, touching his skin underneath just teasingly. “and I suppose that means… we should probably get that all out of our system before then too, hm?”
there was something to be said about their mutual degrees of stubbornness in times like these - to where it could be perceived like a physical game of chess, who could get who to break. she never minded playing the game and if any, it was one she relished in because she knew ultimately, it would benefit both of them in the end.
raising an eyebrow at his challenging words, she fully intended to up the ante, but with slow, subtle movements and a lingering eye contact that borderlined on both mischief and sickening innocence. so, when he also grabbed her hands to keep her from touching on the skin underneath her shirt, she gave him a soft pout. “no?” she asked sweetly, even if her next words and actions were anything but. “You know I don’t mind things being a bit harder.”
and if he wanted her to work for it, then work she would. “so, then … in that case, you wouldn’t mind if I did this?” she brought their joined hands up for her to kiss every single knuckle of his. it was affectionate, sure, but as soon as she got down to the last chuckle, she made sure he was watching every movement that followed. “…or this?” there wasn’t much of a barrier between the fleece shorts she was wearing and the sweatpants he donned, her hips able to create a bit of friction from where she sat in his lap. it was slow, purposeful, intent with coaxing a reaction within its fluid movement.
despite living in the states for less than a year, violet had considered herself a reasonably competent traveler with all of the flights they would take on a weekly basis for work. thankfully with that, things had gotten relatively smoothly with no issues, but usually ... it was mainly due to max knowing all of the tips and tricks to get a more exclusive experience.
however, with this flight, she was going to solo to meet with her best friends Molly and Kyle in Florida prior to their big show, to meet up with Max later on that Wednesday.
the flight into her connection today was delayed, which admittedly, she didn't see any issue with. she had a whole hour and a half to make her next flight and surely, they would make up time in the air as well, right?
not.
it wasn't until she arrived at the gate in Atlanta connecting into Florida that she realized that flight had already left... and therefore, leaving her with few options.
"you have to be fucking kidding me." she grumbled under he breath while she waited in the endless customer service line, angrily typing away at her phone.
the last thing Violet would ever consider herself - was a talker. she could do the small talk if needed, as evident by the way she was managing to carry this conversation, but she would say it was far from her favourite thing. if her posture and RBF didn’t put off people, it was either her shortness or directness with people that did. yet, Leon didn’t seem to mind either of those things. or maybe he was too oblivious to notice. she wouldn’t put that past him, from her initial impression.
“well… it’s a good thing that I caught you before you went back out to TSA, or you would have been proper fuc—“ again, the realization of the child in front of her had her stop mid-sentence to clear her throat to prevent the swear from hitting the air. “—fudged, I mean. Wouldn’t have been good.”
while she tapped back again at her phone, responding to the text messages of folks who would be expecting her in Florida and alerting them of her delay, she nearly missed his next bit of sharing until the familiar place of work hit her ears. “AEW, huh? small world. I work there too. mainly backstage, with production.”
giving a shrug, Violet met his glance once more with a look that was half-expectant, half-wondering if he was kidding. “I mean, there’s nothing stopping you, mate. but I don’t think there’s another airport in Atlanta.” granted, Violet hadn’t lived in the US for even a year yet but she was pretty sure that was accurate. “and even if there was, you would have to buy a whole new ticket for both you and your kid that would probably cost you way more than your original one. don’t you have like, a supervisor or someone you can call to tell them you got delayed? pretty sure Tony’s understanding if you just give someone a heads up about it.”
for as much as she needed the affirmation herself for her own faults, she was always more than happy to give that same reassurance right back. especially when it came to how good max truly was, deep down.
this was where they were so painfully similar - the idea of the world deciding who you were and it was much less painful, a protection mechanism of sorts, to just lean into that than to try and convince people otherwise.
but as long as she had air in her lungs and he wanted her around, she would always be here to remind him of how she seen him - through all of the bullshit.
looking on at him, eyes continuing to watch, she grabbed at his chin a bit forcefully. "depends." she spoke lowly, as she fully dominated his attention. "...can you keep a secret?" a quick peck and a giggle filtered past her lips despite attempting to keep a serious expression, now bringing herself close to bury herself into his neck.
"but really, I just hope he knows how much good I see in him, how much I appreciate everything he does for me...and how much he fuckin' means to me. more than anything."
Violet, by no means, was under any kind of false pretenses about the unique dynamic she had with Max. While she would definitely say she was the more outwardly expressive of her feelings and emotions, it wasn’t to say that she expected or even wanted him to be similar.
They weren’t the couple who often did these absurd declarations of love or these grand romantic gestures, but she wouldn’t change it for anything - because in the moments that mattered? The quiet moments, the still moments, the moments that didn’t hold an ounce of pomp and circumstance? That’s what meant the most to her. The only thing she would ever be concerned with when it came to their relationship was making sure that he, and he alone, knew how much she truly loved him.
so when the teasing resumed and their moments of earnest were now well past, it was easy to fall into just them. from where she rested her head, she inhaled, seemingly to bring herself closer to him if at all possible. it was only with a slight hesitance of her own that she allowed him to pull away to look at her.
once his words hit her ears, it was her turn now to give a dramatic sigh and a roll of her eyes, like even just what he was suggesting was a clear affront to her sensibilities. “…if we must.”
moving her hands down from his neck, she trailed them slowly down his chest, to where she was looking to trace her fingertips under his hem, touching his skin underneath just teasingly. “and I suppose that means… we should probably get that all out of our system before then too, hm?”
the remorse that hit her once the realization did was practically instant. she had never thought about it that way and in fact, her own spiteful nature wouldn't allow her to. things before may have been presented to her like this in the past - but it had to be the person to deliver it, for it to really sink in.
it was the fact that max took the time to want to improve things for her and her family - when he didn't have to, at all. but then again, that was the reason ultimately, why she loved him as much as she did.
she kept herself silent as he offered his affirmation, knowing that her gratitude for it all would have to be shared differently than just a 'thank you' ... but as soon as his lips were on hers, all thoughts - good, bad or otherwise - were completely wiped away.
her hands trailed upwards from his chest to around his neck, nails gently scratching at his skin and her eyes still blissfully closed for a moment after he had pulled away.
she reopened her eyes only in response to his words, her body now finding its rhythm in practically melting against him, back slightly arched and her lips forming into a smirk of her own.
"mm ... and the best part of that, love? is that I always will be." she murmured, nudging her nose against before beginning to lay more kisses against his neck. "Because I happen to have ... the most amazing, thoughtful, considerate ... " with each descriptive, she laid another kiss, her hands holding his head softly in place while she lavished him with affection. "...incredible man. my man. my whole fuckin' heart."
and if he wouldn't accept a 'thank you', this would have to do.
for as much as she needed the affirmation herself for her own faults, she was always more than happy to give that same reassurance right back. especially when it came to how good max truly was, deep down.
this was where they were so painfully similar - the idea of the world deciding who you were and it was much less painful, a protection mechanism of sorts, to just lean into that than to try and convince people otherwise.
but as long as she had air in her lungs and he wanted her around, she would always be here to remind him of how she seen him - through all of the bullshit.
looking on at him, eyes continuing to watch, she grabbed at his chin a bit forcefully. "depends." she spoke lowly, as she fully dominated his attention. "...can you keep a secret?" a quick peck and a giggle filtered past her lips despite attempting to keep a serious expression, now bringing herself close to bury herself into his neck.
"but really, I just hope he knows how much good I see in him, how much I appreciate everything he does for me...and how much he fuckin' means to me. more than anything."
guys. i know you're curious. yes, i did watch the heartstopper movie. yes, i did cry. moreso making this post to let the public know that the guy who plays charlie is gonna be in an mpreg movie
If there was anything that Violet knew she had the utmost tendency to be, it was introspective. always thinking, always having thoughts about everything and anything. so, whenever max gave her the moment to just ... think during times like this without judgment, it was so very appreciated. coupled with the fact that his eyes on her the way they fell, never failed to make her cheeks slightly pink, in their own self-conscious kind of way.
and as she teased him - just a little bit - his reaction was exactly what she was shooting for, making her laugh out loud with the sound reverberating all around them. the sound of joy and admiration within the walls of their home only mirrored the look of adoration at him, once he gave his comedically dramatic groan. she was also sure that if it were possible to have hearts dancing around her head in that moment, they would have.
"considering I give you lots of other credit where it's deserved, mostly on a nightly basis..." her words held a certain air of suggestion to them, leaning forward ever so slightly to mumble those against his lips. "...I think you'll survive." she mused with a wink as she settled down from her laughter, her hands resting flat against his chest in the same kind of grounding motion that his arm around her waist provided.
once he also provided some insight as to what led up to their get together of before, she visibly softened at the thought, giving a small exhale through her nostrils. "ah..." she managed out, as his words of prior were really settling in. if her mum was willing to go through not only the effort to organize the party but to get max involved, a clear sign that she was invested in her daughter's life, it began to feel like violet HAD been a bit harsh.
"...you probably think that I'm such a rotten, spoiled brat now, don't you?" her words were half-joking, knowing that after all of the complaining and grievances she had just listed before him about her mother, it all seemed ... so small in the grand scheme of things now.
the remorse that hit her once the realization did was practically instant. she had never thought about it that way and in fact, her own spiteful nature wouldn't allow her to. things before may have been presented to her like this in the past - but it had to be the person to deliver it, for it to really sink in.
it was the fact that max took the time to want to improve things for her and her family - when he didn't have to, at all. but then again, that was the reason ultimately, why she loved him as much as she did.
she kept herself silent as he offered his affirmation, knowing that her gratitude for it all would have to be shared differently than just a 'thank you' ... but as soon as his lips were on hers, all thoughts - good, bad or otherwise - were completely wiped away.
her hands trailed upwards from his chest to around his neck, nails gently scratching at his skin and her eyes still blissfully closed for a moment after he had pulled away.
she reopened her eyes only in response to his words, her body now finding its rhythm in practically melting against him, back slightly arched and her lips forming into a smirk of her own.
"mm ... and the best part of that, love? is that I always will be." she murmured, nudging her nose against before beginning to lay more kisses against his neck. "Because I happen to have ... the most amazing, thoughtful, considerate ... " with each descriptive, she laid another kiss, her hands holding his head softly in place while she lavished him with affection. "...incredible man. my man. my whole fuckin' heart."
and if he wouldn't accept a 'thank you', this would have to do.
eyes still on him, she could feel the slight flutters all the way down from her heart to her toes at the sight of his more broad, beaming smile. this was the stuff that made it worth it - every time something was hard, or challenging or scary … she’d go through it each and every time if it meant she could keep that smile on his face.
and there he went, right to work at her suggestion. with her own bright smile, she leaned herself up to press a big kiss onto his cheek while he searched up the options.
the question that followed did, however, still give her a bit of pause. yet, this wasn’t from a place of reservation like it was before, more so … letting the wheels turn on how she was going to do so.
while he continued to look up some places on his phone, she took the opportunity to readjust where she was sitting. from cuddled up to his side, she now maneuvered herself into his lap, fully facing him now.
pursing her lips together, she conceded to his point. “yeah, I think I will. she’s probably going to wonder if something happened, honestly…” a soft laugh followed, already imagining the conversation in her head. “… but just to be clear, is this you saying that I can take credit for this incredibly brilliant idea?” her lips formed into a smirk, one that read like she had gotten away with one of the most devious crimes.
If there was anything that Violet knew she had the utmost tendency to be, it was introspective. always thinking, always having thoughts about everything and anything. so, whenever max gave her the moment to just ... think during times like this without judgment, it was so very appreciated. coupled with the fact that his eyes on her the way they fell, never failed to make her cheeks slightly pink, in their own self-conscious kind of way.
and as she teased him - just a little bit - his reaction was exactly what she was shooting for, making her laugh out loud with the sound reverberating all around them. the sound of joy and admiration within the walls of their home only mirrored the look of adoration at him, once he gave his comedically dramatic groan. she was also sure that if it were possible to have hearts dancing around her head in that moment, they would have.
"considering I give you lots of other credit where it's deserved, mostly on a nightly basis..." her words held a certain air of suggestion to them, leaning forward ever so slightly to mumble those against his lips. "...I think you'll survive." she mused with a wink as she settled down from her laughter, her hands resting flat against his chest in the same kind of grounding motion that his arm around her waist provided.
once he also provided some insight as to what led up to their get together of before, she visibly softened at the thought, giving a small exhale through her nostrils. "ah..." she managed out, as his words of prior were really settling in. if her mum was willing to go through not only the effort to organize the party but to get max involved, a clear sign that she was invested in her daughter's life, it began to feel like violet HAD been a bit harsh.
"...you probably think that I'm such a rotten, spoiled brat now, don't you?" her words were half-joking, knowing that after all of the complaining and grievances she had just listed before him about her mother, it all seemed ... so small in the grand scheme of things now.
as far as she was concerned, as long as she was right here by his side? she knew she would be safe. physically, emotionally ... and everything in between. for as exhausted as all of that sharing had made her, nothing else mattered once she felt his lips on her temple, all of her tension from prior now seemingly non-existent.
it was funny, too - because in that moment, she had completely forgotten about the promise she had made to thank him less, since the gratitude came as effortlessly as her exhales. in her mind, he deserved it, no matter if he thought it wasn't necessary.
looking up at him, eyes watching him with complete adoration, she nodded. he had convinced her. "yeah. we can do that. even if I'm not quite sure all of what we'd do. she doesn't exactly have the most exciting of hobbies..." the chuckle was a notable more light-hearted change from her refusal to even entertain the idea earlier. "...are there like, any botanical gardens or conservatories for plants around here? I think she'd rather like that."
eyes still on him, she could feel the slight flutters all the way down from her heart to her toes at the sight of his more broad, beaming smile. this was the stuff that made it worth it - every time something was hard, or challenging or scary … she’d go through it each and every time if it meant she could keep that smile on his face.
and there he went, right to work at her suggestion. with her own bright smile, she leaned herself up to press a big kiss onto his cheek while he searched up the options.
the question that followed did, however, still give her a bit of pause. yet, this wasn’t from a place of reservation like it was before, more so … letting the wheels turn on how she was going to do so.
while he continued to look up some places on his phone, she took the opportunity to readjust where she was sitting. from cuddled up to his side, she now maneuvered herself into his lap, fully facing him now.
pursing her lips together, she conceded to his point. “yeah, I think I will. she’s probably going to wonder if something happened, honestly…” a soft laugh followed, already imagining the conversation in her head. “… but just to be clear, is this you saying that I can take credit for this incredibly brilliant idea?” her lips formed into a smirk, one that read like she had gotten away with one of the most devious crimes.
in this moment, there was a pull to retreat, to run away from how uncomfortable this vulnerability made her. but there was never any doubt in her mind that max would take care of her in times like this, he always did. she just felt raw, sensitive even … like the embodiment of a bundle of nerves that just been exposed.
she nodded. more so that he knew she had heard him and understood, even if she wasn’t even sure where to start. thankfully, though … it seemed like she didn’t have to tackle this alone, which she was grateful for. she didn’t need to have it figured out, she just needed to try.
the squeeze of her hand gestured her closer to him, returning her position to cuddle with him again and even as she readjusted, she kept their hands clasped to look down at their joined tattoos as well. a physical, tangible promise of their bond.
“…thank you.” she hummed, giving an exhale where she laid her head contently on his shoulder. “I mean it. I don’t think I would have considered doing something this without you, so … just know I appreciate you. I love you.”
as far as she was concerned, as long as she was right here by his side? she knew she would be safe. physically, emotionally ... and everything in between. for as exhausted as all of that sharing had made her, nothing else mattered once she felt his lips on her temple, all of her tension from prior now seemingly non-existent.
it was funny, too - because in that moment, she had completely forgotten about the promise she had made to thank him less, since the gratitude came as effortlessly as her exhales. in her mind, he deserved it, no matter if he thought it wasn't necessary.
looking up at him, eyes watching him with complete adoration, she nodded. he had convinced her. "yeah. we can do that. even if I'm not quite sure all of what we'd do. she doesn't exactly have the most exciting of hobbies..." the chuckle was a notable more light-hearted change from her refusal to even entertain the idea earlier. "...are there like, any botanical gardens or conservatories for plants around here? I think she'd rather like that."
the violet of before, the violet of as recently as a little over a year ago, wouldn't have been receptive to anything that max had just said. in a space and time where she hadn't done the work both internally and through therapy over the last 12+ months, she could see herself easily snapping at him, biting back at any perceived inkling that he didn't support her.
but from where she stood now and with as long as they had been together, she knew that wasn't the case, as much as her faulty brain wanted her to believe otherwise.
she didn't say anything after he finished and the pause that followed wasn't because she was offended or shocked by any means, but more so in her attempt to gather her thoughts in this way. to do an internal tug of war with how her brain wanted her to react in an impulsive shotgun manner, versus what she knew was actually true.
the thumb against her hand was grounding and as she spent her time mulling over thoughts, it just felt more and more tiring as the moments passed. like she was spinning her wheels in mud - an attempt to get out of this train of thought but an attempt that was still leading her stuck.
he was being reasonable, even mature about the situation - and there was a part of her that didn't disagree. but there was also another part of her that was fighting to hold onto these feelings, because it was all she had ever known for such a long time. default mode.
so, she led with the only thing she knew how to do: honesty.
"...I don't know where to put it." she whispered softly, sadly, with a frown that was no etching itself on her features. "the anger. the disappointment. even if I wanted to put it down, I don't know where." and even still, she didn't let go of his hand.
"and I'm sorry to hear that they put you through that, too. when all you wanted to do was chase a bloody dream." her gaze up to this point was still low, hovering over the union of their hands, until she finally mustered up some will to meet his eyes. "how did you ... do it? how did you forgive them?"
in this moment, there was a pull to retreat, to run away from how uncomfortable this vulnerability made her. but there was never any doubt in her mind that max would take care of her in times like this, he always did. she just felt raw, sensitive even … like the embodiment of a bundle of nerves that just been exposed.
she nodded. more so that he knew she had heard him and understood, even if she wasn’t even sure where to start. thankfully, though … it seemed like she didn’t have to tackle this alone, which she was grateful for. she didn’t need to have it figured out, she just needed to try.
the squeeze of her hand gestured her closer to him, returning her position to cuddle with him again and even as she readjusted, she kept their hands clasped to look down at their joined tattoos as well. a physical, tangible promise of their bond.
“…thank you.” she hummed, giving an exhale where she laid her head contently on his shoulder. “I mean it. I don’t think I would have considered doing something this without you, so … just know I appreciate you. I love you.”
it was always an internal battle whenever violet decided to be vulnerable with max in this way - half of her appreciating him more than anything for just sitting and listening, but the other half questioning if she was saying too much, sharing too much, if she was even making sense. but when it came to max: she would try. every single time.
"I guess, I hope more than anything ... that this provides understanding as to why I'm so damn stubborn, so confrontational with my opinions, so easy to bristle when it comes to things that matter to me... because it feels like for as long as I can remember, I have had to justify and fight for every opinion and perspective that I have. it was never enough to just ... have them."
shaking her head, she confirmed she was done, at least for now. "I'm sure there is ... but for now, I think that all generally illustrates my point. and if I have anything else that comes up from your questions or whatever, I'll do that. but yeah... go for it. thanks for listening."
her words were soft but held an underlining of being resigned, her shoulders slumped while her eyes fixed themselves still in her lap.
the violet of before, the violet of as recently as a little over a year ago, wouldn't have been receptive to anything that max had just said. in a space and time where she hadn't done the work both internally and through therapy over the last 12+ months, she could see herself easily snapping at him, biting back at any perceived inkling that he didn't support her.
but from where she stood now and with as long as they had been together, she knew that wasn't the case, as much as her faulty brain wanted her to believe otherwise.
she didn't say anything after he finished and the pause that followed wasn't because she was offended or shocked by any means, but more so in her attempt to gather her thoughts in this way. to do an internal tug of war with how her brain wanted her to react in an impulsive shotgun manner, versus what she knew was actually true.
the thumb against her hand was grounding and as she spent her time mulling over thoughts, it just felt more and more tiring as the moments passed. like she was spinning her wheels in mud - an attempt to get out of this train of thought but an attempt that was still leading her stuck.
he was being reasonable, even mature about the situation - and there was a part of her that didn't disagree. but there was also another part of her that was fighting to hold onto these feelings, because it was all she had ever known for such a long time. default mode.
so, she led with the only thing she knew how to do: honesty.
"...I don't know where to put it." she whispered softly, sadly, with a frown that was no etching itself on her features. "the anger. the disappointment. even if I wanted to put it down, I don't know where." and even still, she didn't let go of his hand.
"and I'm sorry to hear that they put you through that, too. when all you wanted to do was chase a bloody dream." her gaze up to this point was still low, hovering over the union of their hands, until she finally mustered up some will to meet his eyes. "how did you ... do it? how did you forgive them?"
