ok, so, I feel for every character who is in pain. Every. single. one. but the story of Raven Reyes literally breaks my heart. She has been the most consistently least selfish person on this show and yet has had the most taken from her. She is so much more mature than any character near her age and beyond brilliant We see this when she is the one to figure out that they sent the 100 to the ground and confronts Abby. Instead of telling anyone whats happened she stays by Abby’s side and helps as much as she can. She’s the one who points out that the 100 aren’t dying, they’re taking the bracelets off. She refuses to give up on the boy she loves and fixes a flies a 100 year or p.o.s. space ship alone to reach him. She crashes to earth to find that Finn, the only family she has ever had or loved, has betrayed her and slept with Clarke. Instead of hating Clarke she sucks it up and does everything she can to help ensure that they all fucking survive. She doesn’t even hate Finn. She continues to love and care about him respecting the fact that his feelings have changed. She turns her grief to determination and helps build a wicked bomb, then almost dies trying to ensure that it detonates when its supposed to. She is shot in the back, loses feeling in her legs (this really broke me) and trusts Abby to perform an excruciatingly painful surgery for the chance that it might help her. Even after the surgery is only somewhat successful she remains there for support for everyone. “It sucks. but i’m dealing.” *sobs at this exchange* She then has to watch from afar as Finn is strung up and set to be killed in front of the entirety of the Arkers. She places faith in Clarke that she can fix this because that’s what Clarke does, but instead Clarke is forced to mercy kill Finn leaving Raven with no one. No one who understands her. Who loved her intimately. No one who could possibly help her the way she needs to be helped. She could fall into depression, turn everyone away and refuse to move on. She could hate Clarke and refuse to do anything to help her in any way at all (which could have resulted in them not being able to defeat Mt. Weather) She’s lost everything a great deal of that due to Clarke. But she doesn’t give up. She deals. She grieves, moves on and turns out to play one one the most important roles in the success of invading and defeating Mt. Weather. Flash forward a few months, she’s pushed on. She remains herself. She laughs, she smiles, she’s remained close to her friends and never forgets Finn. She does all of this even though she’s obviously in a lot of pain all the time, for her the pain never ended. It just keeps building deeper and deeper. Then the explosion in Mt. Weather happens and Raven again loses so much. She is physically impacted by the explosion but she also has just witnessed the death of not only half of Farm station but also her friend and Bellamy’s girlfriend. Even as she lay on the ground in pain (again) her first thought is to tell Bellamy whats happened. She doesn’t think of herself she thinks of her friends.
Raven Reyes has every right to break down, to fall to pieces because life is so unfair. She has every reason to want to crawl into a hole and refuse to keep living. Raven Reyes who has a heart murmur and could die at any time. Raven Reyes who never had a mom, who lost the only boy she ever loved, twice. Raven Reyes who could have given up so many times, who is in pain every second of every day and still is there to support those who aren’t coping after the things they’ve seen and done, who pushes through the pain to be the best mechanic Arcadia has.
Raven is in so much pain and it’s only getting worse. As if each new horrible thing that happens to her just feeds off of her remaining strength, allowing the pain in her hip and leg to go deeper and deeper. Just like her emotional pain she refuses to let her physical pain stop her from living. And i’m terrified that they are finally going to push her too far. They are going to push her so far that she finally breaks because she just can’t possibly go on. Raven has been through so much and I just don’t think even she can keep going like this. She is the backbone, the bridge that connects the past to the future and if Raven doesn’t survive the next episode I don’t know what I will do.
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