âYou know, I once read something about a pair of soulmates who had both come from other relationships that hadnât been good for them, there was a saying I canât fully remember, something along the lines of âWe can be for eachother what our lovers werenât for usâ, I think that applies here quite well,â
Stella hadnât been loving, Bradyâs ex hadnât been sincere, and Stolas hoped that perhaps he and Brady could give those missing peices to eachother
âOfcourse,â Stolas agreed, letting his head rest against his loverâs shoulder, practically basking in the affection like a cat in a sunbeam
âIâll always be honest with you my love, always,â
Stolas didnât really believe in lying, he had a penchant for manipulation and word games from time to time- a hazard of his family- but outright lying wasnât his cup of tea in the first place, and with Brady, he wanted to be as honest as possible
âMmm... you mean about the inevitable blood bath of you meeting my family, the fact that I havenât been quiet about my affair, or the question of if Iâll ever leave you for my daughterâs sake?â
âMy, what lengths these busy-bodies have gone through to sow the seeds of doubt... but allow me to ease your mind,â he hummed, giving Brady a light kiss
âFirstly, Iâm admittedly torn.... on the one hand, I do so desperately want to see you rip into my blood relatives, but I also donât want to see you get hurt- physically or otherwise, and... my family can be as carnivorous as venomous reptiles, I know that you can defend yourself, but they will be ruthless, I... I donât want anything to happen to you... so if such a confrontation happens, I wonât get in your way, but... I donât know just yet how to protect you from them,â
It was a little embarrassing actually, Stolas loved the idea of Brady marching into his family home like a knight in shining armor, prepared to slay whatever foul beasts rampaged before him, but he couldnât fully support it- as much as he wanted to- out of fear of what exactly his family might do to his soulmate, and honestly... they were the âtake no prisonersâ type, Stolas was afraid to think of what they might do if Brady challenged them...
âSecond, I havenât been quiet about my affair, no, but thatâs only in the spirit of honesty, one of the very few good lessons my vulturistic family has taught me is that the only way to emerge somewhat well from rumors that are true is to be ahead of those rumors- if you cheat, admit it, if you steal, own it, if you murder, well it was all in self-defense darling and you canât hang a man for that, if you lie... deny it til your dying breath and if that doesnât work pretend to be stupid or crazy, whatever suits the mood, my point is.. I knew that sooner or later my past would come out- the recent secrets leak proved that much- so I might as well be upfront about my scandal and why the scandal happened so that when people try to use it against me it falls quite flat, that said, I know you know why that affair happened, I... donât excuse it, but the circumstances were... obviously so, so much more different than things could ever be between us, in a fundamental way, and I would never cheat on you, my love, I was... holding things together with Stella with toothpicks and safety pins from the start, things between us are quite clearly not like that, and even if we hit rough patches.. well I lasted the better part of thirteen years being essentially alone, trust me, I donât think we could hit a patch rough enough for me to ever go that far, you have my word, Brady, I will never do that to you,â
He paused, taking a breath, this third and final topic was going to be a bit harder to address....
âBrady.... my love, you are my soulmate, no one can change that- no matter how hard my family might try-, and thereâs quite obviously much more to our relationship than just a one-night-stand or a fair-weather-affair, we will not be torn apart so easily, and I will never abandon you or betray you, no matter what, you are my world, Brady,â
He paused again, pursing his lips
âBut.. but my daughter will always be my universe, I know it sounds cliche but it really is true that there is no describing the connection you have to your child, the love there is unlike anything else, even a soulmate connection, Iâve... wanted to meet and fall in love with my soulmate since I was a young child myself, Iâve fantasized about it so much and yet I never could have imagined anyone even close to you, to how much I love you, to how intertwined our souls are... but the moment Octavia was born my galaxy revolved around her, I would sell my soul to be in her life,â
He exhaled, the dreaded feeling that he was only making things worse sinking into his stomach, but he had promised honesty, he wasnât going to go back on that just because he was having a hard time with what he wanted to say
âI want both of you,â he said quietly
âChoosing would be my worst nightmare, I think it might be enough to kill me in all honesty, and I hope it never comes to that, but... if it does..â
Biting his lip, Stolas gently but tightly grasped Bradyâs hand, forcing himself to make eye contact, so that Brady would understand how serious he was
âI would run away with you both, Iâve..... thought about it, you know, just... taking Octavia in the middle of the night and running off somewhere.... I never did because it wouldnât be fair to her, asking her to grow up without her mother, Stella is a good mother, it... wouldnât be fair to either of them, it would turn me into a monster, but... but if I was ever backed into that corner I-... I wouldnât.. ask you to give up your life-.... to... become a criminal with me and... I would be crazy and cruel to ever ask you to drop your entire life and run away to an island somewhere with a child who isnât yourâs and who probably wonât be very happy with the situation and to... put yourself in the way of my familyâs wrath.... but I suppose I donât have the balls to just make a choice either, so if it ever came down to it.... I would never leave you Brady, I would leave here, this place, but not you, Iâd run away with you if I had to, but.. I donât expect that to be something you would ever be content with, so... if it ever came up, I would never.. hold it against you for choosing, you know, the rest of your life over me, how could I?â
He looked away, feeling guilty for not being able to give a more firm and definitive answer to the unspoken question, his fingers looping around his loverâs
âAll of this sounds so convoluted... Iâm sorry... I just.. I want you to know that Iâm not going to abandon you, that Iâm not going to just pick up and run off because things get hard, but I canât abandon Octavia either, so, if that choice is ever set before us then I hand it to you, if you donât want to put up with all that drama I wouldnât blame you a bit, but if... if youâre really crazy enough to stick around then... I would run away with you, love, spirit you away in the middle of the night, and create a family with you and my daughter somewhere far away, if you would have us,â
He smiled warmly at Brady, giving him a soft, almost chaste kiss, feeling strangely.... innocent in that moment, almost something akin to pure
âI would love that,â he breathed excitedly, eyes absolutely sparkling
âA special name, just from you, all my own.... I canât imagine being happier,â he confessed, hugging Brady tightly, he had always wanted something like that, something so unique, heâd wished many times that Stella would have given him a petname all his own, but ofcourse that had never happened
âCan I give you a special title in return then? Or would you prefer to stick to something more generic like âsirâ or âmasterâ?â
He chuckled a little at Bradyâs confession, his fingers absent-mindedly starting to twist and twirl around the fabric of his loverâs shirt
âI feel the same actually, Iâve never been a people person- shocking, I know- so wanting to stay in our little bubble is my default state, but I also find myself, lately, wanting to show off, wanting to show off who I belong to, that Iâm yourâs, I want the entire world to know that Iâm taken and be jealous of me for having the best soulmate the universe has ever crafted,â he grinned, pausing a moment
âAnd yes experiences are good too, I.... actually have been considering... I know itâs still more than a month away so donât feel pressured to answer right now but... well... do you have Christmas plans? I just wondered if... if maybe youâd.. like to come home to London with me? Iâll be going home to see Octavia, and um... it might be a great opportunity for you to meet her, and... to spend the holiday together? If you want, ofcourse,â