I Have Heard The Future

Podcast trash, basically.

[wheeloftime-wheelofthoughts]

Robert Jordan really said

"Imma dedicate a chapter to clarifying that Rand and Elayne are not, and I repeat NOT, related by blood. I promise."

[wafflelovingbatgirl]

So true, bad WoT takes

[bi-aviendha]

Suggested list of WoT euphemisms for being queer (beyond “pillowfriends”):

Friend of Tinkers

He likes long handles on his axe

She is skilled at Maiden handtalk

They’ll make OR take a bridal wreath

He puts his sword in the Stone

She beats the carpets

They use a nine horse hitch

He prefers snakes over foxes

She can navigate the Fingers

They like lace on their sleeve

He ascends Dragonmount

They’re of many Ajahs

She has given up the spear

He follows the gleeman

Horn Finder

She catches trout with her hands

[lifblogs]

What kills me about The Wheel of Time is that no one knows what a dragon is. They're all just like, "The Dragon Reborn! What the fuck is a dragon?" Rand has a flag with a dragon on it and no one knows what animal it is. Hysterical.

[incorrectwot]

Moiraine: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Mat: Mine just says "Mat no."

Moiraine: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

[cairhienin]

sometimes a family is an aes sedai, her warder, and four children she’s willing to blood sacrifice

[markantonys]

god thinking about rand’s love life from mat’s perspective is so funny because mat knows so much about it yet not QUITE enough. he knows rand was making out with elayne all over the stone. he knows rand and aviendha were flirting in the waste and slept in the same tent every night. en route to salidar he’s aware that there’s something between both aviendha/rand and elayne/rand and frets that elayne and aviendha will come to blows over rand. then he spends weeks seeing rand having sex with min via psychic visions. returns to caemlyn and finds out that rand has knocked up elayne. and yet he has no CLUE that this is all consensual polyamory. poor mat must be wondering why everybody thinks HE’S the biggest slut in the series when rand is out there living like this.

[justanotherspeck]

Welcome to Night Vale: Ep. 100, Toast

[kirikiri1]

Hoop for Episode 8 - Burned Out, for @nstevenson3 who kindly donated to RAICES. Thank you!!

"As I stood there in the cold, my eyes fell on the tree. That creepy, damn tree. I don’t know why, but at that moment I felt an intense, maddening anger at that tree. I picked up a crowbar that lay on a nearby pile of wood and, drawing my arm back, I swung it at the trunk, burying it with all my might.

I felt something warm and wet spray out where I had hit it. Sap? No, it didn’t feel like sap. I turned on my torch to see blood flowing from the wounded tree."

I really enjoyed trying to get the twisted bark texture right! RIP Agnes.

[the-quasar-hero]

I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship and this gun I found

[wokeuplaughing]

all of the women in wolf 359 are girl bosses

[wokeuplaughing]

miranda pryce demonstrating the most girl boss behavior by developing mind control devices and psychologically abusing sentient AI that she developed 💅

[thefigureinthecorner]

so like this is just their whole character dynamic right–

[tmoblrina]

ten-minute dance party

[tmoblrina]

podcasts:

me:

[radiolariia]

bureaucracy is the real villain is a classic podcast trope but limetown’s ‘i’ll start the excel sheet’ takes home the cake

[bauliya]

horror podcasts, in the beginning: lovecraftian entities. too many teeth. towns where something is shady is going on but everyone is in on it. mysterious disappearances. the slow revelation of seemingly standalone cases being interconnected when the same characters pop up in different stories.

horror podcasts, thirty episodes in: the real eldritch horror was late stage capitalism all along and this narrator suffering from a serious case of gay longing will explain how.

[sapphicblackbeard]

tom bodett’s agent is about to get the weirdest phone call