autumn

loyal like a guard dog 26

[minotauri]

• free by florence + the machine • to be alive by gregory orr • loucura by mariza • road to hell (reprise) from hadestown • sinners (2025) • tennessee williams (debated?) • sorrow is not my name by ross gay • the long walk (2025) • the thing is by ellen bass • motto by bertolt brecht

[klodizzle]

I am trying to love myself until I mean it, I do this one day and then the next

[nonbinarythirteen]

trying one of these out bc i'm having Feelings so.... on love & burdens i guess

lena oleanderson | mitski | fortesa latifi | rwby volume 9 | manchester orchestra | molly brodak | lena oleanderson | sloppy jane ft. phoebe bridgers | source unknown (lmk if you know)

[yimmyayo]

[edwordsmyth]

Italo Calvino

[sespursongles-deactivated201906]

And speaking of Sophia Tolstoy, her diaries are just so depressing. 

“I am to gratify his pleasure and nurse his child, I am a piece of household furniture, I am a woman. I try to suppress all human feelings. When the machine is working properly it heats the milk, knits a blanket, makes little requests and bustles about trying not to think […].“

She wrote this when she was 19, one year into her marriage to Leo and as she was pregnant with the first of his 13 children.

A few years later, when she was 25 or so:

“I am so often alone with my thoughts that the need to write in my diary comes quite naturally … Now I am well again and not pregnant—it terrifies me how often I have been in that condition. He said that for him being young meant “I can achieve anything”. For me […] reason tells me that there is nothing I either want or can do beyond nursing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and loving and caring for my husband and babies, all of which I know is happiness of a kind, but why do I feel so woeful all the time, and weep as I did yesterday? I am writing this now with the pleasantly exciting sense that nobody will ever read it, so I can be quite frank with myself […].“

During her 12th pregnancy she wrote about taking scalding baths and jumping from high pieces of furniture to try and miscarry.  And at one point while reading her husband’s diary (which he told her to read) she found the sentence “There is no such thing as love, only the physical need for intercourse and the practical need for a life companion.” In her own diary she wrote “They ebb and flow like waves, these times when I realise how lonely I am and want only to cry…”

A few years before her husband’s death, she published a cycle of prose poems titled “Groans”, under the pseudonym “A Tired Woman”.

[julienbakerfavormp3-deactivated]

the most depressing quote from her diaries:

“I have served a genius for almost forty years. Hundreds of times I have felt my intellectual energy stir within me and all sorts of desires - a longing for education, a love of music and the arts… And time and again I have crushed and smothered these longings… Everyone asks, “But why should a worthless woman like you need an intellectual or artistic life?” To this question I can only reply: “I don’t know, but eternally suppressing it to serve a genius is a great misfortune.”

[hymnfell]

[nixscriptum]

[inkpressedpetals]

[icaseybaybee]

[bansheebeez]

[theoptia]

Clarice Lispector, from The Passion According to G.H.

[wovi]

[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

[undeadhousewife]

[kiefbowl]

the most important virtues for the young woman are as follows: time theft, selfishness, orgasms, irreverence to authority, sacrilegious behavior, a questioning mind, and eating regular meals.

[nostalgiaville]

"EverythingGirl.com Archive" is a personal project of mine that attempts to reconstruct the whole website, and fix/replace any broken/missing assets. I'm excited to finally show this to the public! But keep in mind the website's still a work in progress, so a lot of clickable links lead to nothing:

https://everything-girl.neocities.org/