The Gentleman @the-castle-gentleman - Tumblr Blog

[After a couple days of nothing of any range of activity, Briar decided to go out to a park, with flowers in full bloom and a nice view. Their newly acquired cane made it a lot easier for briar to traverse to more places. They had also planned to meet a friend there, Gentleman. Of course, Briar was the last one there. So they carefully sat down on the bench next to them, which happened to be in front of a bed of roses. Ironic.]

Oh- sorry I’m a bit late… but it’s a nice day out isn’t it?

[ @fix-yourheart ]

[The breeze softly rustled the flowers- It was one of those rare days in which the sun was out, and he was grateful for the such. he was simply staring off into space, dreaming about. . whatever. It's not relevant. for such a picture - perfect day, he could hold off thinking about anything for once.]

I don't mind. It's alright.

[They moved their cane onto the side of the bench before allowing themselves to take in the atmosphere. It was nice, hopefully it could just be like this forever.]

How have you been? I mean- as good as you can be around here..

I’ve been alright.

[he needed a change of scenery by now. He’d simply been carrying on as normal- but “normal” isn’t always the best, at least not in his world. Luckily, however, there wasn’t anything noticeably bad. He wouldn’t mind if it stayed like this forever.]

Yeah, um that’s good. I’ve just been having these- dreams- not dreams- they’re too vivid for that- oh. memories. I’ve been getting memories that sometimes aren’t pleasant… it’s fine… gives me something to do especially since I’ve got no company at the shop.

Yeah- that happens. It’s normal- at least I believe it to be. . At least- at least it is once you don’t have much to do- and. . Something was bad. It- that happens to me.

[He sighed, and didn’t meet their gaze for a bit. Was he suddenly like death- at least in a way? Explaining that sometimes things just happen and it’s all up to trauma, and regardless, he’ll be there for them? Was that even true? No time to question it now.]

It’s better when you have something to do. .

Yeah- it’ll probably be a chance of me doing something… because my shop usually doesn’t. Well- I’m starting to just think more about myself… I don’t really know myself, I mean who I am.

[Their gaze happened to avert from their friend as well. Of course, he probably wasn’t the one to dictate their emotions, but maybe he could guide them?]

I- yeah. . I get it- It’s hard to figure out for yourself- I’m not entirely sure of that either- but it’s alright. .

[He said a partial truth- He knew exactly who he was, or at least, in a way. He knew who he had to be. He knew everything he’d done.]

. . Learning takes a while.

I just- don’t know who I want to be anymore… all these thoughts have been corroding me, and yet- I don’t really know..

[Their mind was never good, especially not now. That meant that sometimes Briar would give into some thoughts. Never fully believing them of course, but it still felt like a part of them was forever missing. Another Jane Doe to the world.]

I understand. Sometimes we want to change from who we are- we can learn to do that. It simply. . takes a while.

[He really thought about himself- his thoughts changing in a blaze, One that changed him forever. He genuinely couldn’t decide if it was for better or worse- but, at least, he was there. He knew that, at the very least, if he could change one person’s life for the better. . .]

I- it’s been at least five years now, and I have no idea what I’m doing still… longer than that probably, just around five since I’ve been out of- there.

[They were right, even after being let go, it still had no idea how a business went or what their own body held. There is this hope in them however, that the people they trust will help.]

Hey- You don’t need to figure out everything so fast- you’ve got all the time in the world- I. .

[She trailed off, Looking away. of course that’s something they can reassure them with- they need it- they need it- if not. . what else. .]

. . . I’ve only been here for a little over a year, and of that- i spent a lot of time away. . I understand not knowing who you are.

thank you for that… there’s been so many- many expectations of me, what I’m meant to do or be. I never know how to respond to that- and maybe I don’t have to. At least for right now.

[They learned against her, hugging their friend softly while closing their eyes.]

I don’t have to be anything. Not right now, not until I’ve figured that out.

You simply need to be who you want to be. There’s not a single expectation beyond that.

[A sigh. Oh but if it were true.]

I still don’t know that though… who I really want to be. I get what you’re saying however. I understand that. I wish it were easier.

[a sigh, one of a long needed break, from an overworked man- person-?]

You’ll learn- it takes a while. . . I. . I know I learned a lot when. . bad things happened. .

[Maybe, in a way, It would be better for briar (as if that was a high bar) if they figured it out slower. with less. .]

I guess I’ll learn quicker then… you know how it goes for me, for all of us really.

[Of course, they talking about the bad, which seemed to follow Briar and their fellow dolls a ton. So, maybe, maybe they could figure something out.]

. . . I hope you don’t.

[He regretted that immediately. He didn’t mean- He just. . Briar didn’t deserve to go through what he has gone through- they deserve anything better- If he could do anything, He would make sure that they’d never get to do that.]

. . .

I never want you to go through that.

yeah.. I shouldn’t have said that.

[It felt it was true however, trouble always comes with them, which meant getting hurt in some way most likely. That wasn’t said out loud however. It didn’t want him to worry.]

You don’t- you don’t know- you couldn’t have known- I. . .

[He trailed off. What horrid things could his friend see? what horrid things could happen to them? each possibility was more terrifying than the last.]

I just- I’ve seen horrible things happen, and they’ve happened to me sometimes. That was in the past- no need to bring it up now…

[How could they justify that? They wanted to only to protect their friend from stories of horrors from where they truly came from. He didn’t deserve to hear their sob story, briar didn’t deserve much at all.]

Well. . Yeah. I’m not surprised- I. . Yeah. . I understand. . . Even if stuff is still happening to me. .

[He sighed.]

I understand. It’ll be alright… hopefully somewhat you know?

[They were trying to fan out their own worries out of their mind. Reassurance for themselves.]

You know. . It’s alright that things happened. I. . I definitely am not free from. . Trauma. . Either. It just. . Feels inconvienent sometimes, you know? But. . What you do survive. . Perserverence will get you so far. It always does. I promise.

[he simply wanted to tell them something true. Something that they could hear, something to reassure them.]

Doesn’t matter if it’ll be alright or not, since I’ll do my best to continue on.

I’ve been persevering since I was barely an adult, when my suffering began. It helps somewhat, sometimes does wonders really. We all really have to survive here, that means continuing on…

[They simply trailed off before continuing with something they somehow remembered. They stated it as both a realization and a statement somehow.]

I- I was barely 18 when it happened. I- I believe so, not even sure I finished school, I can’t remember that…

You’re lucky for that, in a way. . I mean. . Look at me. I’m barely 18 now and. .

[For a while I would never consider anything I have now normal.] . . Regardless, what we’ve done and what we’ve survived makes us who we are- I know I wouldn’t. . I am glad to learn of the world where. . So much basic respect is normal. . Even if that’s mainly within my friends and family. I like being able to make art, too.

Yeah- I wish that world was real to us. Sometimes it is- like you said with friends and all, it just should be more common. I’m glad I get to have some sort of freedom, separation from them. I like looking at all the things I’ve collected over the years… it sounds silly but really.

The world is so new to me, briar, that I’ll take anything. I’m so grateful, the opportunities I’ve been given- and the fact I’m not alone. That is something I value so, so much. . .

Me too. I’m happy to be free and able to go outside, look at the sights really…

[ Isolation wasn’t something briar mentioned a lot, but it did sometimes take a toll on them; especially back then. To be able to not feel that way was freeing somewhat.]

I’m not gonna lie- I kind of miss it, though. It’s. . Crazy to say- but. .

[briar’s missed their past life too- gentleman felt the same. Nothing surely good could come out of anything they’ve done- but. . It never felt that way.]

No- sometimes I feel that way too, it just hits me at the worst times, when I start to remember. I know I had no autonomy there, but it was home for a long time.

I. . I. . by contrast. . It’s all I knew. nothing better. I’m grateful, I admit- to see this. . to be here.

[He looked way again. Maybe he was to be grateful for everything. . maybe he should enjoy that he’s just here.]

[They just stayed silent, nodding and then humming a song, and then quietly singing it]

Don’t you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy, ‘cause there ain’t no way I’m sorry for what I did…

… how could you cry for me?

. . . That song hits hard. . Sometimes. “sometimes I see flames- and the people that I love dying- and it’s always-“

[a sigh]

I get really bad nightmares.

Me too. Not really of that- just more of what’s already happened to me… still not good whatsoever…

Have you ever thought about what it’d be like if. . If it wasn’t like this? If there was a world we were. . normal.

[That was probally a better thing to ask compared to what he could have said, though the question is difficult nontheless.]

Is it even something to ask?

Yeah- I especially have. I don’t really know.. I get what you mean.

[Was it something that even left their mind? No, not really. It was something that had always stuck with them. Normal.]

Would we be safer…? what would we do- sorry. I’m dwelling on it.

I. . Yeah. . I think about it too. .

[I phrased it nicely.]

[They attempted to change the topic, for the sake of their own wellbeing.]

I haven’t really been harassed lately… so that’s always somewhat good..? Though business has also been slow so maybe that’s why.

#we all go to hell #now picture yourself

I wish, really do. . . I won't get to experience that till. .

[some things are simply better left unspoken.]

I did NOT sign up to have my likeness used for that chicken place for the record

#we all go to hell #lltbp rp #mcr rp #lltbp

ptsinkbaby

MAMA AND UNCLE AND BABY TIME x

Oh- sorry I’m a bit late… but it’s a nice day out isn’t it?

[ @fix-yourheart ]

I don't mind. It's alright.

[They moved their cane onto the side of the bench before allowing themselves to take in the atmosphere. It was nice, hopefully it could just be like this forever.]

How have you been? I mean- as good as you can be around here..

I’ve been alright.

Yeah- that happens. It’s normal- at least I believe it to be. . At least- at least it is once you don’t have much to do- and. . Something was bad. It- that happens to me.

It’s better when you have something to do. .

Yeah- it’ll probably be a chance of me doing something… because my shop usually doesn’t. Well- I’m starting to just think more about myself… I don’t really know myself, I mean who I am.

[Their gaze happened to avert from their friend as well. Of course, he probably wasn’t the one to dictate their emotions, but maybe he could guide them?]

I- yeah. . I get it- It’s hard to figure out for yourself- I’m not entirely sure of that either- but it’s alright. .

[He said a partial truth- He knew exactly who he was, or at least, in a way. He knew who he had to be. He knew everything he’d done.]

. . Learning takes a while.

I just- don’t know who I want to be anymore… all these thoughts have been corroding me, and yet- I don’t really know..

I understand. Sometimes we want to change from who we are- we can learn to do that. It simply. . takes a while.

I- it’s been at least five years now, and I have no idea what I’m doing still… longer than that probably, just around five since I’ve been out of- there.

[They were right, even after being let go, it still had no idea how a business went or what their own body held. There is this hope in them however, that the people they trust will help.]

Hey- You don’t need to figure out everything so fast- you’ve got all the time in the world- I. .

[She trailed off, Looking away. of course that’s something they can reassure them with- they need it- they need it- if not. . what else. .]

. . . I’ve only been here for a little over a year, and of that- i spent a lot of time away. . I understand not knowing who you are.

thank you for that… there’s been so many- many expectations of me, what I’m meant to do or be. I never know how to respond to that- and maybe I don’t have to. At least for right now.

[They learned against her, hugging their friend softly while closing their eyes.]

I don’t have to be anything. Not right now, not until I’ve figured that out.

You simply need to be who you want to be. There’s not a single expectation beyond that.

[A sigh. Oh but if it were true.]

I still don’t know that though… who I really want to be. I get what you’re saying however. I understand that. I wish it were easier.

[a sigh, one of a long needed break, from an overworked man- person-?]

You’ll learn- it takes a while. . . I. . I know I learned a lot when. . bad things happened. .

[Maybe, in a way, It would be better for briar (as if that was a high bar) if they figured it out slower. with less. .]

I guess I’ll learn quicker then… you know how it goes for me, for all of us really.

[Of course, they talking about the bad, which seemed to follow Briar and their fellow dolls a ton. So, maybe, maybe they could figure something out.]

. . . I hope you don’t.

. . .

I never want you to go through that.

yeah.. I shouldn’t have said that.

[It felt it was true however, trouble always comes with them, which meant getting hurt in some way most likely. That wasn’t said out loud however. It didn’t want him to worry.]

You don’t- you don’t know- you couldn’t have known- I. . .

[He trailed off. What horrid things could his friend see? what horrid things could happen to them? each possibility was more terrifying than the last.]

I just- I’ve seen horrible things happen, and they’ve happened to me sometimes. That was in the past- no need to bring it up now…

Well. . Yeah. I’m not surprised- I. . Yeah. . I understand. . . Even if stuff is still happening to me. .

[He sighed.]

I understand. It’ll be alright… hopefully somewhat you know?

[They were trying to fan out their own worries out of their mind. Reassurance for themselves.]

[he simply wanted to tell them something true. Something that they could hear, something to reassure them.]

Doesn’t matter if it’ll be alright or not, since I’ll do my best to continue on.

I’ve been persevering since I was barely an adult, when my suffering began. It helps somewhat, sometimes does wonders really. We all really have to survive here, that means continuing on…

[They simply trailed off before continuing with something they somehow remembered. They stated it as both a realization and a statement somehow.]

I- I was barely 18 when it happened. I- I believe so, not even sure I finished school, I can’t remember that…

You’re lucky for that, in a way. . I mean. . Look at me. I’m barely 18 now and. .

The world is so new to me, briar, that I’ll take anything. I’m so grateful, the opportunities I’ve been given- and the fact I’m not alone. That is something I value so, so much. . .

Me too. I’m happy to be free and able to go outside, look at the sights really…

[ Isolation wasn’t something briar mentioned a lot, but it did sometimes take a toll on them; especially back then. To be able to not feel that way was freeing somewhat.]

I’m not gonna lie- I kind of miss it, though. It’s. . Crazy to say- but. .

[briar’s missed their past life too- gentleman felt the same. Nothing surely good could come out of anything they’ve done- but. . It never felt that way.]

No- sometimes I feel that way too, it just hits me at the worst times, when I start to remember. I know I had no autonomy there, but it was home for a long time.

I. . I. . by contrast. . It’s all I knew. nothing better. I’m grateful, I admit- to see this. . to be here.

[He looked way again. Maybe he was to be grateful for everything. . maybe he should enjoy that he’s just here.]

[They just stayed silent, nodding and then humming a song, and then quietly singing it]

Don’t you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy, ‘cause there ain’t no way I’m sorry for what I did…

… how could you cry for me?

. . . That song hits hard. . Sometimes. “sometimes I see flames- and the people that I love dying- and it’s always-“

[a sigh]

I get really bad nightmares.

Me too. Not really of that- just more of what’s already happened to me… still not good whatsoever…

Have you ever thought about what it’d be like if. . If it wasn’t like this? If there was a world we were. . normal.

[That was probally a better thing to ask compared to what he could have said, though the question is difficult nontheless.]

Is it even something to ask?

Yeah- I especially have. I don’t really know.. I get what you mean.

[Was it something that even left their mind? No, not really. It was something that had always stuck with them. Normal.]

Would we be safer…? what would we do- sorry. I’m dwelling on it.

I. . Yeah. . I think about it too. .

[I phrased it nicely.]

draags-national-clerk

hello yhe clerk i want to bother you 😁

-@the-castle-gentleman

Hello, puppet. How are you this fine evening?

I’m bored. So I’m gonna annoy you

swagophile

Me if I was a housecat: My life is a fucking night mare because I can't go outside and kill and eat mice and birds

Me if I was a field mouse: Im so happy that cat is inside and not out here

Me if I was a hawk: Thst mouse is sio fucking dumb. Im gonna kill that fuck ing mouse

gerardwaysbob

"LONG LIVE" THE BLACK PARADE

Oh- sorry I’m a bit late… but it’s a nice day out isn’t it?

[ @fix-yourheart ]

I don't mind. It's alright.

[They moved their cane onto the side of the bench before allowing themselves to take in the atmosphere. It was nice, hopefully it could just be like this forever.]

How have you been? I mean- as good as you can be around here..

I’ve been alright.

Yeah- that happens. It’s normal- at least I believe it to be. . At least- at least it is once you don’t have much to do- and. . Something was bad. It- that happens to me.

It’s better when you have something to do. .

Yeah- it’ll probably be a chance of me doing something… because my shop usually doesn’t. Well- I’m starting to just think more about myself… I don’t really know myself, I mean who I am.

[Their gaze happened to avert from their friend as well. Of course, he probably wasn’t the one to dictate their emotions, but maybe he could guide them?]

I- yeah. . I get it- It’s hard to figure out for yourself- I’m not entirely sure of that either- but it’s alright. .

[He said a partial truth- He knew exactly who he was, or at least, in a way. He knew who he had to be. He knew everything he’d done.]

. . Learning takes a while.

I just- don’t know who I want to be anymore… all these thoughts have been corroding me, and yet- I don’t really know..

I understand. Sometimes we want to change from who we are- we can learn to do that. It simply. . takes a while.

I- it’s been at least five years now, and I have no idea what I’m doing still… longer than that probably, just around five since I’ve been out of- there.

[They were right, even after being let go, it still had no idea how a business went or what their own body held. There is this hope in them however, that the people they trust will help.]

Hey- You don’t need to figure out everything so fast- you’ve got all the time in the world- I. .

[She trailed off, Looking away. of course that’s something they can reassure them with- they need it- they need it- if not. . what else. .]

. . . I’ve only been here for a little over a year, and of that- i spent a lot of time away. . I understand not knowing who you are.

thank you for that… there’s been so many- many expectations of me, what I’m meant to do or be. I never know how to respond to that- and maybe I don’t have to. At least for right now.

[They learned against her, hugging their friend softly while closing their eyes.]

I don’t have to be anything. Not right now, not until I’ve figured that out.

You simply need to be who you want to be. There’s not a single expectation beyond that.

[A sigh. Oh but if it were true.]

I still don’t know that though… who I really want to be. I get what you’re saying however. I understand that. I wish it were easier.

[a sigh, one of a long needed break, from an overworked man- person-?]

You’ll learn- it takes a while. . . I. . I know I learned a lot when. . bad things happened. .

[Maybe, in a way, It would be better for briar (as if that was a high bar) if they figured it out slower. with less. .]

I guess I’ll learn quicker then… you know how it goes for me, for all of us really.

[Of course, they talking about the bad, which seemed to follow Briar and their fellow dolls a ton. So, maybe, maybe they could figure something out.]

. . . I hope you don’t.

. . .

I never want you to go through that.

yeah.. I shouldn’t have said that.

[It felt it was true however, trouble always comes with them, which meant getting hurt in some way most likely. That wasn’t said out loud however. It didn’t want him to worry.]

You don’t- you don’t know- you couldn’t have known- I. . .

[He trailed off. What horrid things could his friend see? what horrid things could happen to them? each possibility was more terrifying than the last.]

I just- I’ve seen horrible things happen, and they’ve happened to me sometimes. That was in the past- no need to bring it up now…

Well. . Yeah. I’m not surprised- I. . Yeah. . I understand. . . Even if stuff is still happening to me. .

[He sighed.]

I understand. It’ll be alright… hopefully somewhat you know?

[They were trying to fan out their own worries out of their mind. Reassurance for themselves.]

[he simply wanted to tell them something true. Something that they could hear, something to reassure them.]

Doesn’t matter if it’ll be alright or not, since I’ll do my best to continue on.

I’ve been persevering since I was barely an adult, when my suffering began. It helps somewhat, sometimes does wonders really. We all really have to survive here, that means continuing on…

[They simply trailed off before continuing with something they somehow remembered. They stated it as both a realization and a statement somehow.]

I- I was barely 18 when it happened. I- I believe so, not even sure I finished school, I can’t remember that…

You’re lucky for that, in a way. . I mean. . Look at me. I’m barely 18 now and. .

The world is so new to me, briar, that I’ll take anything. I’m so grateful, the opportunities I’ve been given- and the fact I’m not alone. That is something I value so, so much. . .

Me too. I’m happy to be free and able to go outside, look at the sights really…

[ Isolation wasn’t something briar mentioned a lot, but it did sometimes take a toll on them; especially back then. To be able to not feel that way was freeing somewhat.]

I’m not gonna lie- I kind of miss it, though. It’s. . Crazy to say- but. .

[briar’s missed their past life too- gentleman felt the same. Nothing surely good could come out of anything they’ve done- but. . It never felt that way.]

No- sometimes I feel that way too, it just hits me at the worst times, when I start to remember. I know I had no autonomy there, but it was home for a long time.

I. . I. . by contrast. . It’s all I knew. nothing better. I’m grateful, I admit- to see this. . to be here.

[He looked way again. Maybe he was to be grateful for everything. . maybe he should enjoy that he’s just here.]

[They just stayed silent, nodding and then humming a song, and then quietly singing it]

Don’t you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy, ‘cause there ain’t no way I’m sorry for what I did…

… how could you cry for me?

. . . That song hits hard. . Sometimes. “sometimes I see flames- and the people that I love dying- and it’s always-“

[a sigh]

I get really bad nightmares.

Me too. Not really of that- just more of what’s already happened to me… still not good whatsoever…

Have you ever thought about what it’d be like if. . If it wasn’t like this? If there was a world we were. . normal.

[That was probally a better thing to ask compared to what he could have said, though the question is difficult nontheless.]

Is it even something to ask?

Oh- sorry I’m a bit late… but it’s a nice day out isn’t it?

[ @fix-yourheart ]

I don't mind. It's alright.

[They moved their cane onto the side of the bench before allowing themselves to take in the atmosphere. It was nice, hopefully it could just be like this forever.]

How have you been? I mean- as good as you can be around here..

I’ve been alright.

Yeah- that happens. It’s normal- at least I believe it to be. . At least- at least it is once you don’t have much to do- and. . Something was bad. It- that happens to me.

It’s better when you have something to do. .

Yeah- it’ll probably be a chance of me doing something… because my shop usually doesn’t. Well- I’m starting to just think more about myself… I don’t really know myself, I mean who I am.

[Their gaze happened to avert from their friend as well. Of course, he probably wasn’t the one to dictate their emotions, but maybe he could guide them?]

I- yeah. . I get it- It’s hard to figure out for yourself- I’m not entirely sure of that either- but it’s alright. .

[He said a partial truth- He knew exactly who he was, or at least, in a way. He knew who he had to be. He knew everything he’d done.]

. . Learning takes a while.

I just- don’t know who I want to be anymore… all these thoughts have been corroding me, and yet- I don’t really know..

I understand. Sometimes we want to change from who we are- we can learn to do that. It simply. . takes a while.

I- it’s been at least five years now, and I have no idea what I’m doing still… longer than that probably, just around five since I’ve been out of- there.

[They were right, even after being let go, it still had no idea how a business went or what their own body held. There is this hope in them however, that the people they trust will help.]

Hey- You don’t need to figure out everything so fast- you’ve got all the time in the world- I. .

[She trailed off, Looking away. of course that’s something they can reassure them with- they need it- they need it- if not. . what else. .]

. . . I’ve only been here for a little over a year, and of that- i spent a lot of time away. . I understand not knowing who you are.

thank you for that… there’s been so many- many expectations of me, what I’m meant to do or be. I never know how to respond to that- and maybe I don’t have to. At least for right now.

[They learned against her, hugging their friend softly while closing their eyes.]

I don’t have to be anything. Not right now, not until I’ve figured that out.

You simply need to be who you want to be. There’s not a single expectation beyond that.

[A sigh. Oh but if it were true.]

I still don’t know that though… who I really want to be. I get what you’re saying however. I understand that. I wish it were easier.

[a sigh, one of a long needed break, from an overworked man- person-?]

You’ll learn- it takes a while. . . I. . I know I learned a lot when. . bad things happened. .

[Maybe, in a way, It would be better for briar (as if that was a high bar) if they figured it out slower. with less. .]

I guess I’ll learn quicker then… you know how it goes for me, for all of us really.

[Of course, they talking about the bad, which seemed to follow Briar and their fellow dolls a ton. So, maybe, maybe they could figure something out.]

. . . I hope you don’t.

. . .

I never want you to go through that.

yeah.. I shouldn’t have said that.

[It felt it was true however, trouble always comes with them, which meant getting hurt in some way most likely. That wasn’t said out loud however. It didn’t want him to worry.]

You don’t- you don’t know- you couldn’t have known- I. . .

[He trailed off. What horrid things could his friend see? what horrid things could happen to them? each possibility was more terrifying than the last.]

I just- I’ve seen horrible things happen, and they’ve happened to me sometimes. That was in the past- no need to bring it up now…

Well. . Yeah. I’m not surprised- I. . Yeah. . I understand. . . Even if stuff is still happening to me. .

[He sighed.]

I understand. It’ll be alright… hopefully somewhat you know?

[They were trying to fan out their own worries out of their mind. Reassurance for themselves.]

[he simply wanted to tell them something true. Something that they could hear, something to reassure them.]

Doesn’t matter if it’ll be alright or not, since I’ll do my best to continue on.

I’ve been persevering since I was barely an adult, when my suffering began. It helps somewhat, sometimes does wonders really. We all really have to survive here, that means continuing on…

[They simply trailed off before continuing with something they somehow remembered. They stated it as both a realization and a statement somehow.]

I- I was barely 18 when it happened. I- I believe so, not even sure I finished school, I can’t remember that…

You’re lucky for that, in a way. . I mean. . Look at me. I’m barely 18 now and. .

The world is so new to me, briar, that I’ll take anything. I’m so grateful, the opportunities I’ve been given- and the fact I’m not alone. That is something I value so, so much. . .

Me too. I’m happy to be free and able to go outside, look at the sights really…

[ Isolation wasn’t something briar mentioned a lot, but it did sometimes take a toll on them; especially back then. To be able to not feel that way was freeing somewhat.]

I’m not gonna lie- I kind of miss it, though. It’s. . Crazy to say- but. .

[briar’s missed their past life too- gentleman felt the same. Nothing surely good could come out of anything they’ve done- but. . It never felt that way.]

No- sometimes I feel that way too, it just hits me at the worst times, when I start to remember. I know I had no autonomy there, but it was home for a long time.

I. . I. . by contrast. . It’s all I knew. nothing better. I’m grateful, I admit- to see this. . to be here.

[He looked way again. Maybe he was to be grateful for everything. . maybe he should enjoy that he’s just here.]

[They just stayed silent, nodding and then humming a song, and then quietly singing it]

Don’t you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy, ‘cause there ain’t no way I’m sorry for what I did…

… how could you cry for me?

. . . That song hits hard. . Sometimes. “sometimes I see flames- and the people that I love dying- and it’s always-“

[a sigh]

I get really bad nightmares.

t0-liveforever

daily affirmations!

1. I am not afraid to keep on living

2. I am not afraid to walk this world alone

3. Honey if you stay I’ll be forgiven

4. Nothing you can say can stop me going home

most-exalted-vocalist

Hahah...hahahah...mmn. That wasn't so bad the other night, now was it?

Hahah.. my snack.

#we all go to hell #gentleman thinks ds672 is nice actually

Thats not very nice >:(

Oh- sorry I’m a bit late… but it’s a nice day out isn’t it?

[ @fix-yourheart ]

I don't mind. It's alright.

[They moved their cane onto the side of the bench before allowing themselves to take in the atmosphere. It was nice, hopefully it could just be like this forever.]

How have you been? I mean- as good as you can be around here..

I’ve been alright.

Yeah- that happens. It’s normal- at least I believe it to be. . At least- at least it is once you don’t have much to do- and. . Something was bad. It- that happens to me.

It’s better when you have something to do. .

Yeah- it’ll probably be a chance of me doing something… because my shop usually doesn’t. Well- I’m starting to just think more about myself… I don’t really know myself, I mean who I am.

[Their gaze happened to avert from their friend as well. Of course, he probably wasn’t the one to dictate their emotions, but maybe he could guide them?]

I- yeah. . I get it- It’s hard to figure out for yourself- I’m not entirely sure of that either- but it’s alright. .

[He said a partial truth- He knew exactly who he was, or at least, in a way. He knew who he had to be. He knew everything he’d done.]

. . Learning takes a while.

I just- don’t know who I want to be anymore… all these thoughts have been corroding me, and yet- I don’t really know..

I understand. Sometimes we want to change from who we are- we can learn to do that. It simply. . takes a while.

I- it’s been at least five years now, and I have no idea what I’m doing still… longer than that probably, just around five since I’ve been out of- there.

[They were right, even after being let go, it still had no idea how a business went or what their own body held. There is this hope in them however, that the people they trust will help.]

Hey- You don’t need to figure out everything so fast- you’ve got all the time in the world- I. .

[She trailed off, Looking away. of course that’s something they can reassure them with- they need it- they need it- if not. . what else. .]

. . . I’ve only been here for a little over a year, and of that- i spent a lot of time away. . I understand not knowing who you are.

thank you for that… there’s been so many- many expectations of me, what I’m meant to do or be. I never know how to respond to that- and maybe I don’t have to. At least for right now.

[They learned against her, hugging their friend softly while closing their eyes.]

I don’t have to be anything. Not right now, not until I’ve figured that out.

You simply need to be who you want to be. There’s not a single expectation beyond that.

[A sigh. Oh but if it were true.]

I still don’t know that though… who I really want to be. I get what you’re saying however. I understand that. I wish it were easier.

[a sigh, one of a long needed break, from an overworked man- person-?]

You’ll learn- it takes a while. . . I. . I know I learned a lot when. . bad things happened. .

[Maybe, in a way, It would be better for briar (as if that was a high bar) if they figured it out slower. with less. .]

I guess I’ll learn quicker then… you know how it goes for me, for all of us really.

[Of course, they talking about the bad, which seemed to follow Briar and their fellow dolls a ton. So, maybe, maybe they could figure something out.]

. . . I hope you don’t.

. . .

I never want you to go through that.

yeah.. I shouldn’t have said that.

[It felt it was true however, trouble always comes with them, which meant getting hurt in some way most likely. That wasn’t said out loud however. It didn’t want him to worry.]

You don’t- you don’t know- you couldn’t have known- I. . .

[He trailed off. What horrid things could his friend see? what horrid things could happen to them? each possibility was more terrifying than the last.]

I just- I’ve seen horrible things happen, and they’ve happened to me sometimes. That was in the past- no need to bring it up now…

Well. . Yeah. I’m not surprised- I. . Yeah. . I understand. . . Even if stuff is still happening to me. .

[He sighed.]

I understand. It’ll be alright… hopefully somewhat you know?

[They were trying to fan out their own worries out of their mind. Reassurance for themselves.]

[he simply wanted to tell them something true. Something that they could hear, something to reassure them.]

Doesn’t matter if it’ll be alright or not, since I’ll do my best to continue on.

I’ve been persevering since I was barely an adult, when my suffering began. It helps somewhat, sometimes does wonders really. We all really have to survive here, that means continuing on…

[They simply trailed off before continuing with something they somehow remembered. They stated it as both a realization and a statement somehow.]

I- I was barely 18 when it happened. I- I believe so, not even sure I finished school, I can’t remember that…

You’re lucky for that, in a way. . I mean. . Look at me. I’m barely 18 now and. .

The world is so new to me, briar, that I’ll take anything. I’m so grateful, the opportunities I’ve been given- and the fact I’m not alone. That is something I value so, so much. . .

Me too. I’m happy to be free and able to go outside, look at the sights really…

[ Isolation wasn’t something briar mentioned a lot, but it did sometimes take a toll on them; especially back then. To be able to not feel that way was freeing somewhat.]

I’m not gonna lie- I kind of miss it, though. It’s. . Crazy to say- but. .

[briar’s missed their past life too- gentleman felt the same. Nothing surely good could come out of anything they’ve done- but. . It never felt that way.]

No- sometimes I feel that way too, it just hits me at the worst times, when I start to remember. I know I had no autonomy there, but it was home for a long time.

I. . I. . by contrast. . It’s all I knew. nothing better. I’m grateful, I admit- to see this. . to be here.

[He looked way again. Maybe he was to be grateful for everything. . maybe he should enjoy that he’s just here.]

#glad to know gee is kind of aware of me #even if not “me” in particular

noreturn-noreasonn

Gerard way officially knows about draag rp I told him on sundau

theofficialbabygentleman

Wait im kinda fascinated by this. New clones keep popping up. anyway hey hi hello im you

-@the-castle-gentleman

hello me🥹🥹🥹🥹mama has so many baby gentlemen i think shes doing this so we can spread MAXIMUM positivity and kindness to the world💓💓💗💗💗💗💗

[Hides comically large pile of daggers]

Tis true

#lltbp rp #mcr rp #we all go to hell

I can’t decide if draag just decided to duplicate me like 5 times or its the fact that Castle Gentleman exists 💔 Even then it wouldn’t explain us all being sentient for no reason. and it doesnt explain the masked figures

OOC: ONE YEAR OF THIS BLOG! I’m so glad that it’s been here for so long, And thank you to everyone in draag rp for making this a wonderful experience 💚