Hey

I'm lame Let's be friends

[the-darkness-ahead]

why don't i deserve to be happy?

[oopsabird]

[hekacute-deactivated20141230]

I went to high school with a kid who would only drink out of a baby bottle. He brought a large baby bottle to school every day. At first, we thought that he was using it to sneak alcohol or something, but he wasn’t. He would bring it filled with chocolate milk and then fill it up with Coca-Cola and Sprite during lunch. He’d buy a can of each and mix them together. Like I said, it was a large bottle.

I didn’t know the kid that well and I didn’t have any classes with him so I never really talked to him that much. I knew his name. His name was Kevin. Sometimes I’d see him at parties on the weekends. He still had his baby bottle. He would fill it with beer and rum.

He dated my sister’s friend, Emily, for a little while. I had known Emily for a long time. She had been a friend of my sister’s since they were five or six. They were really good friends. She spent a lot of time at our house for sleepovers and stuff. Sometimes she would pee the bed, but I never made fun of her for it. I think most older brothers would have loved the opportunity to make fun of their sister’s friend for peeing the bed and I think she really appreciated that I never mentioned it even though I definitely knew about it because after the sixth or seventh time, my parents started paying me to clean everything up instead of having to do it themselves.

I asked Emily why Kevin only ever drank out of a baby bottle and she said that she didn’t know. They had only been dating for a very short time at that point and she didn’t want to bring it up and offend him or anything. I asked her to tell me if she ever found out. They broke up right after that and I kind of forgot about it because Kevin stopped going to school. I don’t know if he transferred or dropped out, but I never saw him at lunch or any parties after that.

I hadn’t thought about him in a long time, but Emily happened to mention him while she was over at our house recently and I immediately remembered the baby bottle thing.

“Did you ever find out why he drank out of that bottle?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, he told me why,” Emily said. “He used it because he heard that babies that drink out of bottles for too long or drink sweet drinks out of them get really bad teeth problems. He wanted all of his teeth to go bad so that they would fall out and he would be able to fit a softball in his mouth. He said that he wanted to have the world record for being the first person to be able to put a whole softball in his mouth and he wouldn’t be able to do that with all of those teeth in the way.”

[pluginduck]

What the fuck did I just read

[niknak79]

[odysseusyes]

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

[eatsleepcrap]

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

[crashingsunlight]

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

[eatsleepcrap]

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the fucking door in

[the-brave-little-blogger]

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it. 

[everyonesfavoriteging-blog]

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

[the-neon-pineapple]

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

[perks-of-being-chinese]

woah.

[panicrobot]

it got better

[twistedthicket1-deactivated2022]

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

[ofthefantastic]

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

[venatrix26]

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

[party-gilmore]

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

[lotrlocked]

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

[moriartyfortheevening]

Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!

[ruinedchildhood]

[sixpenceee]

Do you guys think we could ever live in a world without any crime? In high school, I had this discussion with my sociology teacher, and one theory was no, we can’t. Even if we had a world without murder, rape, and all that, the definition of crime itself would change in the hypothetical community. So perhaps something like dropping plates will have as much penalty as murder. And by this theory, a Utopian community can never exist. 

[angelicguy]

this got 100k? jesus

[jeoff-deactivated20170909]

this is so woke no wonder

[straightwhiteboyproblems]

one of the reasons why I did straight white boy problems was because I wanted to grow as a person. This blog was my medium and I pushed myself to create, and to create, I had to expand my perspectives. 

In some ways, the straight white boy character that you became acquainted with was an exaggerated version of myself. Many of the problems were real life occurrences/observations/events that I drew from personal experience, but some problems also came from friends or were satirized to the point where the anecdote was unrealistic. Straight White Boy Problem #965 is honestly one of my personal favorites because this “problem” was actually a real situation in my life, and this situation could apply for several dudes that are questioning the meaning of masculinity.

The person that started at problem #1 is not the same person that finished with problem #1000. I was very much a self-entitled brat when I started this blog, but i have grown since then. I will be graduating college in december with a dual degree, leadership positions in student organizations, and the confidence that I can go out and do anything I set my mind to.

having a level of internet popularity (this blog finished with just over 164k followers) on a medium such as tumblr is very scary. one bad move, and you lose your rep - we have seen that with zubat, pizza, and most recently, sixpenceee. my advice to yall is to keep holding people in these positions accountable, but NEVER elevate internet famous people above other people. not everything i said over 3 years was 100% politically correct, but when i was in the wrong, i had fair and jovial conversations with people to figure out why i was in the wrong. no matter where you go in life, try to treat everybody fairly and equally - hopefully they will do the same to you. 

as for my name, you can call me alec. i did promise i’d tell you guys who i was after everything was said and done so there ya go.

thank you for following this blog and thank you for being a part of this experience. this blog was a giant, beautiful mistake that just kinda happened and im happy that yall enjoyed it as much as i did. i may do something in the future, i may not, but i leave this blog a changed and better person.

sincerely,

swbp

[akumeoy]

swbp actually being a straight white boy is imo the biggest plot twist of the year

[theinturnetexplorer]

A Real Hero

[takashi0]

This is some John Henry shit right here.

[afrikangyal-deactivated20190204]

wow

[pinkcheesegreenghost-deactivate]

Dashrath Manjhi

[combustednocturne]

There’s a movie made from his story, you guys can check it out.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3449292/

[lilmandygirl-deactivated2019042]

This post got so much better since the last time I reblogged it omg!!!

[canthinkofaurl-deactivated20221]

oh my god!!!!

[norseminuteman]

That mountain didn’t not know who it was fucking with.

[mcckingbirds-deactivated2017100]

ariana is literally in hospital because she’s been in hysterics for 15 hours, has allegedly discussed ending her career and is actively blaming herself for all of this and people are angry for her cancelling her tour?? priorities people, please.

people have lost their lives. families have been separated, an 8 year old girl has just been identified as the second victim. ariana’s whole team actively tried to protect people by taking young kids into safe areas- include her own mother.

this isn’t just a small inconvenience. this is a tragedy. think before you react. i’ve got too many people around me thinking about themselves other than those who deserve and need it.

people still do not consider their idols as human and continue to expect ariana to tour when she’s in pain. it’s sickening.

[softna-deactivated20131003]

i need a two hour long hug

[stayfrostybish]

[dankassbitchh]

[shiba-official]

You heard of Panic! At Disco, now get ready for

[slow-riot-deactivated20200720]

Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil

[tramampoline]

its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies

[catparazzi]

at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes

[awfullydull-deactivated20170619]

FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS

AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT

DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER

FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY *Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe

1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)

1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)

½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.) After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load.

[madsciences]

^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent

[ghostoftwentysomethingspast]

WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!

[legallynonbinary]

Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.

Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.

Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.

Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)

Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.

[legallynonbinary]

I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.

[polar-academia-deactivated20230]

I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one

[aheapofgarbage]

[simonwang]

my friend showed me this video of his pet donkey greeting him when he returned home from college after a few months and you just have to watch it RIGHT NOW

[otterologist-blog]

Oh my god I thought this was going to be cute and heart warming and yeah it is but holy shit please turn the sound on I’m fucking dying

[styro-sometimes]

Donkeys have ZERO CHILL.

[the-itchy-bitchy-spider]

*distant screaming* *excited screeching, coming closer* *deep breath in* *SCREAM*

[drkshade-deactivated20171012]

[suicidal-society]