The Disemvoweler

I remove vowels from posts

[the-disemvoweler]

Inspired by this screenshot from @apas-95

Q: it's been a while, when are you coming back?

A: dunno

Q: I thought this blog was dead why are you back

A: dunno

Y may be a vowel sometimes and is subject for removal. I'll probably get it wrong, though.

Tag guide:

disemvoweled - a post that has been disemvoweled!

tagged disemvowel - a post I was tagged in to disemvowel

not disemvoweled - a post that I did not disemvowel, or an ask I didn't disemvowel

disemvoweled asks - an ask I disemvoweled

too much work. - I disemvoweled an image and probably regret it

the disemvoweler's cat - a tag for pictures or posts about my cat

Here's consonants that people have told me are vowels

My fridge of tumblr accomplishments

Asks I will no longer answer:

- thnk y fr th mmrs because I am tired. Fallout Boy is awesome though

- Questions about Y. It's a vowel sometimes, a rule I learned in my youth when my teacher took me out of the room during class and showed me a picture of a robber stealing the letter Y. Y did she do that actually

- Anything to the effect of "can I also do this". Please do, I don't own this concept

[gauntletqueen]

what if you wore a shirt that featured a picture of you trying to claw your way out of the shirt with a horrid desperate expression and the text "THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME I'M TRAPPED IN THE SHIRT"

[the-disemvoweler]

wht f y wr shrt tht ftrd pctr f y trng t clw yr w t f th shrt wth hrrd dsprt xprssn nd th txt "THT'S NT M THT'S NT M 'M TRPPD N TH SHRT"

[tonyzaret]

Ok let me get this straight: you cruelly remove my primary olfactory apparatus then smugly hold it between your fingers saying “got your nose!” and are now expecting to be forgiven because it was “satire”????

[the-disemvoweler]

k lt m gt ths strght: y crll rmv m prmr lfctr pprts thn smgl hld t btwn yr fngrs sng “gt yr ns!” nd r nw xpctng t b frgvn bcs t ws “str”????

[the-disemvoweler]

Aquarium gravel gives you telekinesis if you swallow it. The 63 year old chainsmoking outside Petsmart told me

[the-disemvoweler]

I noticed that you haven't removed the vowels from your ask button

nnms skd:

ntcd tht y hvn't rmvd th vwls frm yr sk bttn

[the-disemvoweler]

I saw this truck like 3 months ago and I've been thinking about it ever since. Banger

[the-disemvoweler]

What do you do my esteemed fellow

plrsrhnk skd:

Wht d y d m stmd fllw

My best

[the-disemvoweler]

schlorb

schlrb skd:

schlrb

schlrb

[stonergrrl34]

imagine a really great tumblr post with 400 notes here okay

[the-disemvoweler]

mgn rll grt tmblr pst wth 400 nts hr k

[the-disemvoweler]

HABIT OR RABBIT

HBT R RBBT

I have a habit of playing with rabbits

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[the-disemvoweler]

Dhlng y smpl mst rd ths bk! t's ll bt ths dvs lttl ctrpllr wh smpl grgs hmslf n ll mnnr f dvn thngs

[unyieldingsilence]

old macdonald had a farm

celine dion without consonants!

‎ ‎

[the-disemvoweler]

nnyms skd

ld mcdnld hd frm

cln dn wtht n cnsnnts!

[cuppydogshane]

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

[the-disemvoweler]

M Nm s 8 PM. nd m lws rrvng whn y trnt Lkng

[feldfrog]

Some people can rotate a cube in their mind. I can rotate multiple cubes. In my stomach. I swallowed some dice

[the-disemvoweler]

Sm ppl cn rtt cb n thr mnd. cn rtt mltpl cbs. n m stmch. swllwd sm dc

[tonyzaret]

Ok let me get this straight: you cruelly remove my primary olfactory apparatus then smugly hold it between your fingers saying “got your nose!” and are now expecting to be forgiven because it was “satire”????

[the-disemvoweler]

k lt m gt ths strght: y crll rmv m prmr lfctr pprts thn smgl hld t btwn yr fngrs sng “gt yr ns!” nd r nw xpctng t b frgvn bcs t ws “str”????

[the-disemvoweler]

Apparently wearing a hat makes my dog think I'm the joker

[redstonedust]

this sucks im going to kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) the president of the United States. (end statement)

[the-disemvoweler]

ths scks m gng t kll (rmmbrs scd jks r bd fr m mntl hlth) th prsdnt f th ntd Stts. (nd sttmnt)