Fantasy Merchant Punz AU

A DSMP fantasy au where everything hurts a lot, but it ends in found family! Header and Avatar done by Kore

[the-esempee-merchant]

Basics for new people

The basics of this AU is that Punz owns a rather popular Adventure shop in the land of Esempee. The plot seems to move around him as several magical adventures happen on his doorstep and stereotypes come in through the door.

Also The Prime Church isn't a good thing here. We based it off of Christianity and the things they have done in this world is brutal and slightly(read extremely) terrifying. Do not expect a good prime church here.

You see the story through an Outsiders point of view, either not knowing these things because you don't leave the shop(looks at Punz) or you are an Anon that got thrown here not knowing the background knowledge

Expect Angst, Fluff, Possible Gore-ish descriptions, Creepy people, Crack, Angst that comes from the Crack, Hallucinations, Derogatory Language, Phycological Horror, Curses that will fuck you up, Poisoning, Racism, Characters that are Assholes (with a capital A), Actual Gore-ish descriptions, Magic that has weird rules, Mind control via the egg, Child Labor via the Church Orphanage and Serfs, and much, much, more

[gingerswagfreckles]

People who are talking like Hamas is a freedom fighter group working on behalf of the Palestinian people are insane. Do you also think ISIS are a bunch of revolutionary progressives working on behalf of the average Syrian?

The people of Palestine are being oppressed from 2 directions. Wake up. A religious extremist terrorist group that hasn't held an election since 2006 isn't acting on behalf of what the Palestinian people need or want. Oh my god.

[the-esempee-merchant]

so.... anyone die?

-🎨

Depends on if your asking about OCs or Canon characters.

If we're including au original characters then yes. If this ask is just about Canon characters... I have no clue that's not my area of expertise.

What I do know however is that everyone gets some form of trauma. :)

[the-esempee-merchant]

Hey! Shark here! It also depends on weather or not the one dying comes back but both Wilbur and Ranboo almost die a few times but its fine they lived.

(btw Mon was the mod that answered the ask)

[the-esempee-merchant]

so.... anyone die?

-🎨

Depends on if your asking about OCs or Canon characters.

If we're including au original characters then yes. If this ask is just about Canon characters... I have no clue that's not my area of expertise.

What I do know however is that everyone gets some form of trauma. :)

[the-esempee-merchant]

Hey I know its been a bit since I've posted but I won't be posting a lot because I'm in school and I have stuff to do.

-Shark

[the-esempee-merchant]

Does Punz end up with Karl, Sapnap, and Quackity by any chance…?

No, those are not the peeps Punz ends up with, sorry try again!

-Shark

[the-esempee-merchant]

I’m new to the AU, so I gotta ask: who the Frick frack snick snack is Pella?

Also, how does Kristin fit into all this? (I have a dire thirst for Mumza content—)

FINALLY AN ASK!!!! MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!

Pella is 1/3 of the bastard trio alongside Dean and Miz, which is what we call some of the high ranking members of the church. Shes the creepy bastard and in charge of "science". I use that term loosely cause in the church science is pretty much just a mix of puppetry, lobotomies, and Shou Tucker.

As for Mumza she is of coarse the Goddess of Death 2.0, the OG god of death got fired for reasons we will not mention now. Mumza was a high ranking worshipper for him and since he got fired she got a promotion. Pretty much the 1st thing she did once becoming a god was making her husband immortal because nepotism but other than that she rocks at her job.

[the-esempee-merchant]

yo do any of you want the slideshow timeline we made for this?

because we made one a while ago, it might be a little confusing but it is pretty much complete, and we don't mind answering questions.

-shark

[the-esempee-merchant]

shhhhhh let me believe

-Shark

[the-esempee-merchant]

Shark. It isn't Complete Lmao -Mod Kore

[the-esempee-merchant]

yo do any of you want the slideshow timeline we made for this?

because we made one a while ago, it might be a little confusing but it is pretty much complete, and we don't mind answering questions.

-shark

[the-esempee-merchant]

shhhhhh let me believe

-Shark

[the-esempee-merchant]

yo do any of you want the slideshow timeline we made for this?

because we made one a while ago, it might be a little confusing but it is pretty much complete, and we don't mind answering questions.

-shark

[the-esempee-merchant]

Come sit and hear this old legend of a beloved place, a tragedy of words, and a Spirit to come out of the burning ashes.

Ahem.

It was an old and beloved place said to be built by three best friends lost in time.

An old place that was burning. Our young man had run into this place to save stories and things precious to others. Many things fell and burned around him. He was almost out

But he was not lucky. And so when he walked out he was surprised. His feet were never to touch the mortal realms earth again. And would never look human again. So it is said with a fires determination that he would never let others experience his pain.

He will go on to pull children from harm. Provide gold to those in need. But above all. He makes sure that his people know they are loved and will always have a story from the Wanders spirit.

[the-esempee-merchant]

Charlie calls both Tommy and Punz "[Insert name] of Pots and Punz"

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

-Shark

[the-esempee-merchant]

Hey asks are working now, I'm not sure if it'll stay but they are working, and I'm not sure how to get the ask thing to show up in the three dot menu but asks are working!

:)

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

merchant punz au, if charlie slimecicle calls people "[person] of [place/person/time they call home]" and Tommy is just called "Tommy" then how are we feeling when he starts calling Tommy "Tommy of Pots and Punz" bc that's the only place tommy feels safe at this point

*clutches chest*

MY HEART

THAT'S SO CUTE

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Is it bad that I kinda only come up with Charlie stuff for the merchant Punz au because I love charlie and this Au is my favorite?

Anyway, Charlie has a fear of bottles so Quackity has to store his alcohol in a locked cabinet and has resorted to using different containers for other liquids.

Quackity, unlocking the cabinet: fuck, man, i need a drink

Someone else: .....is that a tupperware full of vodka?

[the-esempee-merchant]

You know, its rather funny that the higher ups of the Church are terrified of a mid rank member.

But then again you've never meet Pella.

[the-esempee-merchant]

If you can't tell this is an invite for yall to send asks about her. Or really just anyone.

Our ask box is more baren than the Danakil Depression

[the-esempee-merchant]

You know, its rather funny that the higher ups of the Church are terrified of a mid rank member.

But then again you've never meet Pella.