❝ ⌗ ﹒ humans constantly feel pain in their hearts. because the heart is so sensitive to pain, humans also feel that to live is to suffer ໒꒱ ❞
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
☆ before you follow ☆
🌙 updated : june 1st, 2026
🌙 theme is kaworu nagisa from neon genesis evangelion and was made by @.abudasima
🌙 TW : obsessive themes/behavior , sadomasochism , homicidal/suicidal ideation , self-harm , mentions of stalking , etc. block me if any of these make you uncomfortable, don't report
🌙 DNI : trump/maga supporters , mdni blogs , radqueers , harmful transids , pro genai , "irl darlings" , anti-recovery , etc. do not try to reality check me. I block freely
🌙 I am chronically ill and neurodivergent. due to this, my online activity and replies are highly inconsistent
🌙 I am quite possessive and obsessed with my boyfriend, do not make jokes about us breaking up or jokes about him disliking me
🌙 I condone the things I post about, and I'm strictly yan4yan. my posts are directed
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
☆ about me ☆
🌙 you can call me lance. I use he/hymn/it/rot pronouns
🌙 I'm a minor (16), my birthday is june 2nd
🌙 I'm taken by my darling boy @whitecotton22 ♡ dec 5th
🌙 I'm transmasc, biromantic/verian, demiaceflux, and ambiamorous
🌙 alongside being an irl yan, I'm a lifestyle jirai danshi and hikikomori
🌙 I am a kaworu nagisa fictionkin. doubles iwc, sourcemates are welcome
🌙 I'm a (mostly) non-sharing yumeshipper. I am an Astarion (bg3) gachikoi, and he is my main f/o - posts are partially about him. doubles dni
my love is worship. devoting every essence of my being to you, so long as you let me be your one beloved follower. if you can't handle that, you're not a god worthy of my theism.
Hello, my pretty angel!! I've been away from Tumblr for a few days, but I'm back to answer your beautiful asks and see your new posts.
So, I'd like all the asks and some confessions if it's not a bother,of course.
forest fire, muzzled, following tracks, sit by the door and for last love letter
"I love you" seems like an understatement to express how devoted I am to you, so I'll just say I would give my life for you.
Have a wonderful morning/afternoon or night,my darling <3
hi my dear!! I missed you ^^
and it's never a bother, I reblog those ask games mainly for you, you know <3
the first breath ; how did you meet your darling / how would you like to meet your darling ? - online ^^
my euphoria ; if you stalk people , what methods do you use to stalk them ? - I've stalked past darlings irl, mostly just following them home/around school, when I went to it in-person. I would also collect anything of theirs I could steal, once I even went into a darlings house. I'm not as good at stalking online but I write everything down and screenshot posts
choose my favorite ; do you enjoy being a yandere ? why or why not ? - I do enjoy it, I personally don't think there's anything wrong with the way I feel love. I couldn't imagine feeling it any other way
break my lungs ; do you thrive more off attention , or ignorance ? - attention from my darling(s) and ignorance from people I don't know/don't have an obsession with
before death ; would you let your darling have friends ? why or why not ? - I would !! I get jealous easy but I don't want my darling to be lonely. I do check to see if they're good people, though. I don't want anyone with bad intentions near him
taunt ; do you have backup plans if anyone you're interested in tries to cut contact with you ? - I've honestly not thought about it much. I think if my darling did cut contact with me I'd just make alt accounts to still watch him, but I'd respect the wish to not interact. of course that's all hypothetical, I'm not sure how I'd really react
i hate you ; does being obsessed with someone affect your daily life ? how so ? - it definitely affects my daily life. any obsessions are always on my mind, literally. even if it's just in the back of my mind I'm always thinking of my darling. this happens with my more serious f/o's as well. and if I can be with a darling irl it affects me much more, I'll always try to be with them, even if we aren't doing anything together
i love you ; do you confess , or wait to be confessed to ? - I confess, I'd rather get an up-front answer than wait for something that might never come. and I fear that because of past experiences being confessed to makes me wary, although there is nuance to it, of course
freedom ; do you enjoy interacting with others whom you aren't obsessed with ? - kind of, I like interacting with others I consider myself friendly with, but I don't particularly care to keep those connections. it also feels much more scary to interact with people I'm not obsessed with
bound by rope ; what extent would you go to keep your beloved from leaving you ? - if my darling truly wanted to leave me, I would let him. of course, I would never truly leave his life, but I would respect his decision. however I would push to see if that's what he really wants
branding mark ; would you kill your darling ? why or what would make you do it ? - I'm not opposed to it, but the only way I can see that actually happening is in a double suicide - I have thought about it before though, not out of any malicious intent, never that, but just considering what it would be like. vice versa, too. and I'd never hurt or kill my darling unless he wanted me to
destroy ; does your darling ever make you angry ? what happens when they do ? - he never makes me angry. sometimes when I have an episode or a split I'll isolate myself, but never out of hate or anger. I don't think I could ever feel that way towards my darling. besides, we communicate well
the unhealthy ; do people outside of yanblr know about your obsessive behavior / desire ? - no, only online
pieces of porcelain ; do you write about your darling ? what do you write ? - I write a lot about my darling, almost every post of mine on this blog is about him. and my writing style and stories, I've found, have been steadily influenced by my feelings for him. everything I create is, either directly or indirectly, inspired by him
be mine ; what kind of affection do you give, if you give any at all ? - I am very physically affectionate with the people I love, and just spending time with my darling, no matter what it is we do, is a big form of affection for me. I also show my affection through my words, as best I can
kiss my wounds ; why did you make your account ? what inspired you to do it ? - I've been on yanblr for a while, it's nice to have a space to put these thoughts and have a community. of course, this blog is also a way for my darling to see my more obsessive tendencies
break my spine ; do you express the same obsessive behaviors in real life ? if not , how do you hide it ? - I do express them irl too, yes, but I can hide it when it counts. I don't particularly like hiding it, though
lights off ; how bad does it affect you when your darling rejects you ? - I'm not sure if this is referring to a darling rejecting a confession or being rejected in general. but if I give a confession and it's rejected, if it could never bloom into something more, then I do my best to leave them be. it hurts, of course, but I can move on. I don't want forced love. however if it's a darling who also loves me and rejects something, then I just do my best to try and communicate through the problem
my flesh ; has anyone ever declared love for you ? - yes, but my current darling is the only one who makes me feel truly loved <3
like god ; do you believe you're imperfect ? of course, no one is perfect. my darling is the closest to come to it, though
kneel ; do you love yourself more than your darling ? - no, I love my darling more than anything, including myself. although he has taught me to start to like myself, bit by bit. maybe someday I could love myself, too
love is deceiving ; what would you do to get someone to fall in love with you ? - I don't really know, I don't try to force someone to love me. I just tend to stalk someone for a while before working up the courage to talk to them and hope it turns into a friendship or realtionship
damned to suicide ; would you kill yourself (or threaten to) if your darling rejected you ? - no, I would still want to keep an eye on my darling if they rejected me. I'm not above threatening to kill myself, though, although I don't think I would do that unless I was desperate
shattered mirror ; what about your darling do you hate , if there is anything ? - I don't hate my darling, I know that's something I could never feel. I only hate the distance between us and the hatred he has for himself, but none of that makes me hate or dislike anything about him
locked away ; do you hide secrets from your darling ? why ? - no, my darling is the only one I tell everything. I wouldn't want to hide anything from him anyway, even when it's scary to lay myself bare like that. it's scary in a good way, if that makes sense
you're my belonging ; do you prefer to have a power dynamic over your darling ? why or why not ? - not really, again I don't like forcing anything. I don't mind having power dynamics, though, as long as they occur naturally. I kind of have a hard time recognizing things like that though
equity and equality ; how do you treat others that aren't your darling ? - I get irritated with people that aren't my darling easily, and a lot of time I feel as though they aren't worth my time, even if I enjoy their company, I could be spending that time with my darling
midnight forest ; if you could take your darling anywhere, where would you go ? - the beach, or anywhere away from others. I don't care much about where we are as long as I'm with him
new years ; how long do your obsessions last ? - if I'm truly obsessed with someone they never leave. my first darling, for example, has never left me. it was platonic, and I still think of her fondly, even if my obsessive thoughts with her have weakened over time. that doesn't happen often though, it takes a lot for me to get seriously obsessed like that. I do feel that way with my current darling though, I want him to be the one that lasts forever
licking the boot ; do you obey your darling, or does your darling obey you ? - again I'm not really good with seeing things like this </3 however I do think I obey more
forest fire ; i would kill for you . - that's so sweet of you, I would kill for you too, seriously
muzzled ; i want to take control of you . - please do !! I would love for you to do so, you don't need to hold back <3
following tracks ; i know so much about you , but i crave more . - I'll answer anything you ask of me, I'm happy to share anything you want to know
sit by the door ; i crave your attention to survive . - I do my best to give it, you deserve perfection
love letter ; nobody else should matter to you but me . - and no one does, my darling. I'd be perfectly happy if you were the only one in my life. you're practically the only person I talk to, anyway
I love you so much, my sweetheart. you're wonderful <3
