If I Believe

[the-gentlest-siren]

collenandshadows:

Collen had been excited about the scavenger hunt since the day he found out about it - and it was finally here. His partner was Ace, they figured out a team name, it really was exciting. He wasn’t exactly sure what Zelda’s hint meant, but he hadn’t given it much thought. He needed to meet up with Ace to think about it - after all - and then came finding the item - or was it buying the item - he couldn’t quite remember.

Either way, he needed to find Ace. He had photocopied his paper in case he lost it - or if Ace needed an extra - or any of the above, the dozen or so copies were in a box under his bed. Safest place for them honestly. Her reaches Ace’s room, and he knocks on the door, grinning.

“Do you want to build a snowman? Come on lets go and play!” He sings, okay, a snowman sounded like a good plan - maybe after they finished the clue for the week they could build one - if there was snow.

That would be fun.

Ace smiled, Collen was a dork. But she loved hanging around him. He was the first person she'd met that the voices never urged her to kill. He was a breath of fresh air in a world determined to make her a monster. She opened the door and gave Collen a look.

"You know, we're not building a snowman," she said, smiling. "We're supposed to be on a scavenger hunt, not snowman building." She would admit to being a bit stumped on the first clue. She'd seen Alan a few times. He flirted with her. And she ran the first chance she had.

"So, riddle.... What do people keep in their pockets? Or I guess what does Alan keep in his pockets? Or what, I'm so bad at riddles," Ace admitted, her cheeks flushing a soft pink. She'd never been good with riddles...

[the-gentlest-siren]

spearofintelligence:

“Thank you, it  means victorious or something like that but, it also is another ways to say cross in Greek.” she seemed a bit introverted which didn’t really bother him all that much, she acted somewhat like his siblings quiet and collected.

“Pretty good music huh? Did you listen to Journey or any other oldish songs?” Piano man was the first song he really learned all the melodies to along with a few other songs. He would call it his favorite, but he did love his song Uptown Girl.

“I didn’t play it for the first four years that I had it because it seemed way too complicated for my eight year old brain. So I learned violin for a bit.” He didn’t enjoy violin as much but it was fun. “I have heard of them and the main singer was one of the many inspirations for me to begin playing again.” He only listened to older songs when trying to relax.

Ace nodded. She wasn’t totally sure what her name really meant. Like, Acelia wasn’t the most common name. She’d never heard it before. Not any people, nor any famous people for that matter. Or people in history. It was like, her Dad jammed keys on a keyboard to come up with her name. It wasn’t that great. She didn’t much enjoy it.

Ace smiled softly and nodded again. “Oh, yeah, I’ve listened to lots of things,” she said, her cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. “I like most kinds of music. I like just about anything with a melody.” She had her favourites, sure, but Ace wasn’t too fussy when it came to music.

“Harmonica was too complicated, so you learned the violin?” Ace repeated, not sure she was hearing things right. She never learned to play an instrument. But that seemed backwards to her. She would have thought the harmonica would have been easier to play than the violin. “They have an interesting sound. I like Wagon Wheel the best. It’s very catchy.” She had to resist the urge to begin humming the chorus. She’d already sang once today, and it got her here. Talking to Stavros and trying to ignore the voice in her head telling her to rip his throat out.

Ace refused to become the monster that was in her blood. She was not her mother.

[the-gentlest-siren]

spearofintelligence:

Stavros looked at Ace, he could tell that she looked embarrassed or even slightly nervous.  “Nice to meet you then.” he said calmly as he ran  a hand through his hair, “I’m Stavros by the way, and if you feel the need to abbreviate it that’s fine I wouldn’t care either way.”

He could tell that Ace was very nervous and that something seemed… What could be the word? Off. He has heard of her and knew who she was, sort of. He knew that she felt she wasn’t human  or at least as human as others but didn’t judge. He would feel the same if in the same situation as her.

“No, don’t worry, it’s fine. I really appreciate when others can listen to my tunes and know the songs by specific memories of their childhood.” He flipped the harmonica is his hand and swiped a hand across it. “I received the harmonica for my eighth birthday but I barely knew how to play it. At age twelve I learned how to actually play songs and Piano Man was the first song I knew by heart. Now its the one song I know how to play almost perfectly twelve years after.” All the memories made him long his father’s teachings.

Ace stared for a moment. He was friendly. She wasn’t used to that. Most people either wanted to bend over backwards to make her happy or felt uneasy with her presence. She didn’t really like either response. She’d rather just be invisible. “Um, Stavros, that’s a nice name” Ace said with a shy smile. She wasn’t used to taking to people outside of Collen really. The voice in her head never quit. But it never urged her to hurt Collen. He silenced the voice. It was nice. 

 Ace nodded. “Yes, my father, he played Billy Joel all the time,” she said with a faint blush. “Piano Man was the first song I remember singing.” When she was much younger, she called it her favourite song. That was a long time ago though. Even before she moved to Monterey.

 "Twelve years?“ Ace echoes. "That’s a long time. Have you even listened to, um, Old Crow Medicine Show? The lead singer plays the harmonica too. It’s kinda folk-type music though. But it’s good. I like to listen to them sometimes.” Ace had a strangely eclectic taste in music. She liked almost everything. She wasn’t that much of a fan of rap music though. She liked songs to have melodies.

[the-gentlest-siren]

spearofintelligence:

Stavros hadn’t really focused on how loud he was playing the song it may have echoed pretty much throughout the entire courtyard which he didn’t mind at all. That would mean more people to enjoy the good song right? He kept playing it to his heart’s content.

Soon getting to the part of the song that he loved to play, the chorus he seemed to be a little too excited. He was getting ready to go out big and strong but then, he had hesitated and messed up the melody of the song. He had accidentally played the tune through the fifth hole rather than the eighth and ninth.

He heard a low hum and a voice somewhat, alluring. Looking around to see who it was and saw a girl with a dark brown shade of hair. He could tell that she knew the world to the song which made him happy.

“Hello,” he said to her. “What might your name be? Also I need to address this, how exactly do you know the song?”

Ace immediately covered her mouth. Oh she was so stupid. She was singing again. The impulsive need to sing, it was going to be her ruin. “O-oh,” she stammered, pushing some of the dark hair behind her ear. “I-I’m Ace, its, its short for Acelia, but I don’t really like my name, so everyone calls me Ace.”

She fidgeted nervously. The voice was there, whispering to her, willing her to become a monster, to kill this guy. She hated this voice. She hated this urge. It was bad enough she was half monster, but to actually become one? No. Ace would do everything she could to never become the monster that was in her blood.

“Um, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Ace mumbled, closing her eyes to try to tune out the voice. “But, um, my Dad, he’s a Billy Joel fan. I grew up listening to that music. You, um, how long have you been playing? Um, harmonica is kinda a unique instrument.”

[the-gentlest-siren]

spearofintelligence:

Stavros’ morning didn’t start as well as it usually would. He woke up one hour later than he was supposed to.  He was also feeling a bit sick. With the weather changing and all but, felt that he had to go outside for just a bit today.

He walked outside and breathed in the crisp autumnal air. Seeing all the leaves changing colors made him happy knowing that Winter was approaching soon. He looked around and shivered, knowing it was too late to go back into his room to get a heavier jacket. But headed towards the courtyard.

Upon getting there Stavros reached his hands inside his pockets for a bit of warmth and found a hard, cold, metal object.

His harmonica

He slowly began playing the tune of Piano Man without caring who may be there and what they may think. Stavros needed something to focus on right now.

The cool autumn breeze had always had an appeal to her. It reminded her of a soft, sea breeze. She always did like the way the wind felt in her hair. She didn't often spend time outside of her room. The threat of being around people, but she did chance it sometimes. Especially on days like today.

A soft tune carried across the courtyard. Ace couldn't help herself, softly humming along with the familiar tune. She knew better. She really did. She couldn't really help the way her voice worked. It was alluring, and the voice. The horrible voice in her head. She tried so hard not to be a monster.

Moving over to the source of the music, Ace smiled shyly. She wasn't able to contain herself. Lowly she began to sing. She couldn't always help herself. She often forgot herself, forgot the dangers of singing. She'd been able to sing when she was younger, but when she turned 14, that's when her abilities started to manifest.

She wasn't thinking right now. She was lost in the tune. The lyrics fall from her lips before he has the sense to stop them.

[the-gentlest-siren]

collenandshadows:

Collen shakes his head, “you’re not a monster, Ace. A true monster wouldn’t fight the urge - a monster would just do it without caring. You’re not a monster.” He promises. “You are the furthest thing from a monster.” He promises. Ace was such a good person, the best in his opinion. She was not a monster - not in any sense of the word.

“Clueless it is!” He agrees - he didn’t mind that movie. He just had a thing against Titanic. He knew it was a historical thing - and everyone he got attached to would die - but he would have loved to see the rich guy that Rose was supposed to marry originally die in the water and Jack live. That would have been beautiful revenge.

“Okay, I just figured I’d offer. If you get hungry, let me know and I’ll run out and grab stuff for us fast.” He offers, the stuff they get down there is surprisingly good. You’d think it’d be bad - being a cafeteria and all that.” He didn’t mind the food downstairs at least. It wasn’t as good as his mother’s, of course, but Collen was biased towards hers - so that was to be expected.

“Will do! The pillow fort part - not the peaking one. I would never.” He blushes a little,  getting to work assembling the pillow fort. He liked Ace - sure - but he’d never actually peek at her when getting dressed. That would be wrong - and Collen wouldn’t even consider doing it.

One Ace is dressed and walks over to him, he looks at her, smiling. Damn she was beautiful. “I think it’s going good. Want to help? If the two of us work together - it’ll be the best pillow fort in the history of the world!”

Ace merely shrugged. “I am a monster Collen,” she muttered, unable to bring herself to argue more strongly. Collen had been her best friend as long as she could remember. He’d seen her through her good times and the bad times. She once almost ripped out a man’s throat from looking at her funny. If it hadn’t been for Collen, she would have. He was the only reason that she wasn’t a monster.

But he didn’t seem to realise that.

Ace smiled, looking at the fort. “I doubt that will happen, but I’m glad to help,” she said, her cheeks tinged pink. Collen always seemed to know exactly how to cheer her up. It was nice to have someone in her corner like this. Someone who would always be there for her, no matter how far she fell. Collen would always try to lift her back up.

She still couldn’t shake the thoughts from earlier. Sam was stuck in her head as the voice circled him. Kill him, the voice begged, pleaded. She was still shaken from the incident. She knew better. She really did. The rule, one simple rule. She didn’t follow it and now she was stuck paying the price.

Don’t sing Ace. Don’t ever sing.

[the-gentlest-siren]

collenandshadows:

Collen wraps his arms around Ace the moment she embraces him, holding her close to him. He listens to her quietly, waiting for her to finish and he holds her to his chest. So she was singing in the shower and lured somebody? Perhaps he’d have to look into petitioning to get the showers sound proofed - that way Ace could sing and not lure anyone.

“You did well Ace, you got out of there and you didn’t hurt anyone - you did a good job.” He assures her, “and I’m not mad at you in the slightest. You didn’t want to hurt him  and you didn’t, you did good.” He’s repeating himself - he knows, but perhaps it was for the best. It couldn’t hurt to repeat himself after all - right?

“We can watch a movie - any movie you want. You could pick Titanic if you wanted and I wouldn’t protest.” Ace knew better than anyone that he wasn’t exactly a fan of that movie - but if that was what Ace wanted to watch? Well, they would watch it. “And we can make a pillow fort - crawl up with blankets, and just hide out - you and me. Okay?” He didn’t think Ace would be up for socialization today after her shower incident.

When she whispers he’s amazing he shakes his head, “nowhere are amazing as you, Ace.” He whispers as quietly as he can muster.  The subject changes again quickly however as Ace mentions she should get dressed.

“Heck, if you want, I could even stop by the cafeteria quickly when you’re getting dressed for ice cream? I heard a rumor there’s a new shipment in, and I’m sure if I ask nicely - they’ll give me some for both of us.”

Ace smiles weakly, holding the towel up. “I, I know, I just, the urge, I hate that voice Collen,” she whispers, trembling slightly. “It wants me to be a monster… Maybe I am just that, a monster….” Ace casts her blue gaze to the floor. She hated feeling like a monster. She hated feeling this way. She hated that voice and she hated her mother. She hated what she was…

“I think I’d like to watch Clueless,” Ace says with a smile. She liked Titanic as much as the next girl, but she knew how much Collen hated that movie. She wouldn’t knowingly torture her best friend. No matter what he said. She wasn’t that kind of person.

“And I’m really not that hungry,” Ace admits, pulling Collen into her room. Handler’s rooms were smaller than the field agents’ rooms. But then again, she didn’t have to share with anyone. It was her room alone, with a common area between another handler’s room. She wasn’t actually sure who her neighbour was. To be honest, Ace didn’t spend a lot of time in the common area.

Ace turns to her dresser. “Start the pillow fort while I get dressed?” She offers, not as shy as she normally would be around Collen. Growing up together, she didn’t have the same modesty she had with other people. “No peeking,” Ace warns, turning away from Collen. She lets the towel drop, her porcelain skin a stark contrast to her raven hair.

Ace dresses in a simple blouse and a pair of comfortable jeans, she turns back to Collen, smiling softly. “Alright. How’s the fort?” She asks, going over to him.

[the-gentlest-siren]

collenandshadows:

Collen should have known something was up when he hadn’t seen Ace, and he silently berates himself when Ace opens the door and she’s not okay, whispering that she didn’t mean it.

“Could I ever be mad at you?” He whispers back, “no matter what - you know that.” He assures her, “You’re my best friend, you and I against the world. Remember?” He swore he would always be there for Ace and he would stick by that promise - no matter what happened. That’s what best friends did, right?

He opens his arms for a hug, “We can talk about it if you want. We can hide in your room inside a pillow fort like the old days? Pop in an old movie, and just relax. What do you say, Ace?”

Collen honestly didn’t like seeing Ace so upset - and he wished he could protect her from her urges, protect her from the thing that made her so upset. Ace wasn’t a monster - her mother was one, sure, but Ace herself? She was far from it.

Ace hurries into Collen’s arms, relaxing against his reassuring presence. Of all the people in the world, Collen was the only one that could make Ace feel safe. He was warm and strong. She curls into him embrace, letting Collen’s chest soothe her fears. The towel still hung precariously from her slim frame, threatening to fall to the floor with every move she made.

“I know,” she mumbles, her fingers moving along Collen’s strong chest. “I didn’t mean to… I was, I sang in the shower again.” Ace sighs. She hated to admit it, clutching close to Collen. She felt the memory stagnate her mind, overwhelming her again. The dazed, almost hypnotised look in Sam’s eyes. It sent a shiver down her spine. “And, and it pulled someone…. He, he seemed nice, but, but, I just, I wanted, you know…” She shivers again. “His name was Sam, but I, I couldn’t, I ran away as soon as my feet would let me….”

Ace shifts even closer to Collen, the towel barely clinging to her chest. “I was so scared,” she manages, her fingers absently fiddling with Collen’s shirt, running the material between her fingers. “I thought, I was afraid I was going to, well, snap…. He seemed so nice. I didn’t want to hurt him.” Collen’s arms around her helped Ace relax. She started to feel at ease. Collen had always had that effect on her. Even when they were small kids.

“I’d love to watch a movie, and just hide out in my room today,” Ace murmurs, looking up at Collen while still being pressed into him. “We haven’t made a pillow fort in years.” Ace smiles softly, Collen always did know how to cheer her up. She didn’t know what she would do without him. She’d have crumbled years ago without Collen by her side. “You’re amazing Coll,” Ace whispers, pulling the towel up a bit. “I should probably actually get dressed though. I’ve been in my towel since my shower.”

[collenandshadows]

@the-gentlest-siren

Collen hadn’t seen his best friend quite yet today - and he was honestly concerned. She was a handler like him - so thankfully he didn’t have to worry about the whole “going out on a mission” aspect of Half-Blood Inc. He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost her - no doubt about that.

He’d just duck by her room - just make sure she was okay and nothing was wrong. That couldn’t hurt, right?

He reaches the common room Ace shared and he just walks in - the door was unlocked - which was a blessing in all honesty. He didn’t know how to pick locks - so it wouldn’t be fun to attempt to get into to. Still, he doesn’t ponder why the door is unlocked - just heading to Ace’s room and knocking on the door.

“Do you want to build a snowman? Come on we can’t delay, I haven’t seen you yet today, figured I should check in, let’s go and play.” Collen sings, the Frozen reference had been too tempting - but he had to put his own spin on it. Sure the lyrics weren’t the best - but regardless.

It was the thought that counted.

[the-gentlest-siren]

Ace had made a massive mistake. She’d taken a shower this morning. And she’d forgotten for a moment to remember herself. She’d been singing in the shower. Not a big deal for anyone else. But Ace was half Siren. Her voice was alluring. It drew people to her. And when that happened, she had the urge to kill. It was a struggle she dealt with all the time. Every time someone looked at her like that, she felt a nagging voice whisper to kill.

She wasn’t a monster. She knew she wasn’t a monster. She refused to become one. But in her blood, was the blood of a monster. It constantly pulled at her, pulling her to evil, pulling her to kill, pulling her to become a monster. Singing in the shower, was a big no. Today had just been a reminder.

Ace had gotten out of the shower, her dark hair falling over her shoulder, still damp. She had the towel wrapped around her. She never brought a change of clothes with her. Her room was just down the hall. Only a short walk away. She had stepped out of the shower area, straight into a dark haired boy. Ace froze, weakly stammering out a greeting. “Um, h-hi, um, s-sorry,” she managed, her feet not moving despite her mind’s begging of them.

“Uh, hi, you’re pretty,” the boy had said, his smile reminding her of all the other smiles. He was, he was intrigued, heard her voice, followed it to her, and now, the voice in her head was whispering to her. Kill, kill, kill. She refused, fought that urge. Standing firm as she attempted to make pleasant small talk with him. Sam, that was his name. Similar in many ways to Ace’s own surname. He seemed nice, maybe she’d try talking to him again, when he wasn’t taken by her voice.

She was just waiting for her feet to respond to her, to pull her away, running to her room. Finally, her feet released her from the spot and she managed to sprint away, clutching the towel over her frame, keeping herself decent. She hurried into her room and cowered in the corner.

That was how she stayed until she heard Collen knock on her door. Ace got to her feet, her dark hair curled at the ends, no longer wet from the shower. Ace still clutched the towel about her slender frame. She opened the door, managing a weak smile at Collen. “I didn’t mean it,” Ace whispers. “I was, I lost myself…. Please don’t be mad.” Ace starts trembling again, the towel threatening to slip to the floor.

(Sam used with permission from Kal. Sam’s dialogue provided by Kal.)

[the-gentlest-siren]

[the-gentlest-siren]

I don't even know if I believe...

Mumford & Sons