The Golden Pig.

EAT THE POOR!!!! I blog about my golden life.

[the-golden-pig]

MY INTRO POST.

Hello, and welcome to my blog. My name is [Golden Pig] and you will refer to me as such. I don’t accept a lazy “Golden” or a boring “Pig”.

I am the son of Dan(iel) and Phil(ip). Just an educated guess, that is how you found me.. But you and I both know you stayed for me. ALL KNEEL BEFORE THE GOLDEN PIG!!!!

My tags.

#The golden pig tag - Anything I choose to publish.

#True Gold - If I bless you by answering your ask.

FAQ.

“Golden Pig are you adopted?? If not, which one birthed you.?” This is incredibly invasive. You don’t see me asking about your dads bussy or the papers signed by them, do you?

“Dan and Phil are my dads too! Does that make us phiblings?” No. You are a pheasant, you are not their child, ergo, we are not related either.

“Does your shine take a lot of upkeep? You’re looking dapper, Golden pig.” Finally something good, thank you. Yes it does. 6 hour daily routine (that I’m gatekeeping for obvious reasons. Not that you could ever compete with me.)

And finally…

“Is Phan real?” Are you stupid? The answer is yes. To both.

Let my gold door hit you on the way out.

[the-golden-pig]

favorite word?

Gold.

[dpdailyupdate]

Dan and Phil at the opening night of Death Note: The Musical in London!

11 August 2026

via deathnotethemusical

[the-golden-pig]

I can’t believe they left me at home.

[the-golden-pig]

I do not live through “cute domestic moments” and screaming coming from the office every day for phucks to say Phan isn’t real.

[the-golden-pig]

Dreamt I conquered Earth and fed on the poor sighh Oh wait that wasn’t a dream, I just did dattt😝✌️

[dnp-as-things]

@the-golden-pig here. Non anonymous just mysterious…

My dads, uh, DNP, as gold objects. They can feel the glory just this once. Or twice for Dan ig.

ANYWAYS Gold DNP, thank you.

Oh im HONORED to have you in my asks box 😔🙏

Phan as Gold Objects!! 💛

Individuals:

Dan and Phil as Gold Objects!

[the-golden-pig]

Oh you should be honoured. But honestly so am I. This is what I wanted. Thank you. Dads are saying thank you as well.

[the-golden-pig]

If one more fucking person asks me “where I bought my body glitter” I WILL hit them with a gold bar.

[the-golden-pig]

Dads brought me to work today:D I usually just stand in the background where I look good, but today we went and took photobooth pictures where I look good

[phan-is-conspiracy]

AFFAIR

[the-golden-pig]

AFFAIR?! No, as their son I can give you the real scoop.

The reason their studio is falling apart is because they’re using all the electricity to experiment on different ant colonies. They want to let them loose on the Eifel tower and somehow recreate ball lightning.

[the-golden-pig]

Dad showed me this picture of us from the photo booth after I accused him of not loving me:D

Pheasants, kneel before my beauty.

[the-golden-pig]

what’s your favorite song golden pig

Bring me to life - evanescence. Just cause

[the-golden-pig]

How do you feel about one dad clearly loving you more than the other dad 😔

[the-golden-pig]

Bitches who claim my gold isn’t real are just that: bitches.

[the-golden-pig]

I felt too embarrassed to share this, but then remembered I’m literally me and all you are below me.

Dreamt I was silver. It was truly horrifying. Woke up shaking to my dads running in to check on me. They reminded me I was gold and that everything was as usual. I still feel some fear when I think back at it though..

[the-golden-pig]

how’s life without a butt

Dads have started to threaten to use me as a piggy bank.

[the-golden-pig]

most beautiful blog on the entire internet

i love you golden pig

I know.

[the-golden-pig]

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S REALLY YOU 😱😱😱

One question though, how do you type with no thumbs?

Greetings, yes, it’s really me. I also have a whole darn body. So usually my feet, sometimes snout.

[the-golden-pig]

Dads brought me to work today:D I usually just stand in the background where I look good, but today we went and took photobooth pictures where I look good