And the Narrator @the-gun-fighter - Tumblr Blog

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

“Water to wine”

Oh, cool. What does it do exactly?

*all water within 30 feet of the card when drawn turn into wine*

*not blood… unless you consider it water*

[The gunfighter looks in his canteen to check and the water in it has turned to wine]

Well, ain't that something? While that was fun, I ain't much of a gambling man, so I'll stop. What else can I buy with my... currency?

[The gunfighter tries the new word on his tongue. While he isn't opposed to a new form of money it is going to take some getting used to]

“Well my shop is always open, and @the-tavern-wizard also uses it to pay for logging.”

Oh. I didn't think about where I'm going to stay. Could you direct me to where this @the-tavern-wizard's establishment is?

[The gunfighter is currently homeless for reasons that should be obvious, but that doesn't stop him from sleeping outside, on the grass, if he has to]

You turn around and a door is behind you. It stands without a wall or structure to hold it. A sign on the door reads “The Wandering Inn”

@the-tavern-wizard’s narrator also waves politely to @the-gun-fighter’s narrator, despite being completely invisible and having no body.

AH... Oh. It's just a door.

[The gunfighter, embarrassed as he was, waves to the merchant wizard and enters the The Wandering Inn]

“Welcome to the Wandering Inn! What can I get for you?”

One room please. How much is one night?

[The gunfighter wanted to ask about making money, but held that in for after he got settled]

“3 currency per night for a single person room.”

10 nights if I don't buy anything else.

[The gunfighter mumbled to himself]

And how much for food?

“Water, bread, and soup of the day are free, but anything special will cost you.“

The wizard points at the menu hanging above the bar.

Soup of the Day: Chili

“You can view our prices here. If you’re paying, we can conjure whatever food and drink you can imagine.”

@the-gun-fighter

“Well see you around”

Yeah, uh, see ya around.

[The gunfighter turns back to the @the-tavern-wizard]

All right, I'd like the soup of the day and some bread.

Before long, a ghostly waiter arrives with a bowl of chili or whatever… I’m sorry but I feel this man has been very rude to my kind!

“Narrator… behave.”

No! We follow heroes and protagonists around and colorfully weave their tales. It’s what we do!

You, sir, should be grateful!

“Narrator!”

Maybe you do, but my narrator just brings me trouble.

[Oh yeah? Tell me one time I brought you trouble]

Oh. I can name multiple.

That time you told the obviously homophobic town that I was gay. I had fight the entire town to leave with my life.

That other time when you convinced the townfolk that I was responsible for murders that were physically impossible for me to do.

And that time you made me believe an entire saloon wanted me dead. I murdered so many innocent people that day. And for what? Your own morbid amusement?

Their ghosts still haunt me to this day.

[Well, that last one is on you. You should've known to not take my words at face value]

Well, it's not my fault that you're so goddamn convincing.

Ok! “Ok!”

“You both need to listen and learn.”

First of all cousin, you were broadcasting your narrative??? Are you insane? We aren’t supposed to directly affect the story. We only allow a select few to hear us!

“And you! You pay your narrator too much attention. You rely on it too much to tell your story for you when it should be the other way around.”

“You create your own path”

And the narrator clarifies the story.

Pretty hard to create my own path when this goddamn piece of shit keeps telling everyone what everyone else is currently thinking and everything they did to provoke everyone, every single time I enter a new town.

[I get that and all, but that's so boring. I'd much rather see some action. And what better way to see some action than setting it up directly?]

^Both speaking at the same time^ (This is the narrator behind the orange one that no one knows about)

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

“Water to wine”

Oh, cool. What does it do exactly?

*all water within 30 feet of the card when drawn turn into wine*

*not blood… unless you consider it water*

[The gunfighter looks in his canteen to check and the water in it has turned to wine]

Well, ain't that something? While that was fun, I ain't much of a gambling man, so I'll stop. What else can I buy with my... currency?

[The gunfighter tries the new word on his tongue. While he isn't opposed to a new form of money it is going to take some getting used to]

“Well my shop is always open, and @the-tavern-wizard also uses it to pay for logging.”

Oh. I didn't think about where I'm going to stay. Could you direct me to where this @the-tavern-wizard's establishment is?

[The gunfighter is currently homeless for reasons that should be obvious, but that doesn't stop him from sleeping outside, on the grass, if he has to]

You turn around and a door is behind you. It stands without a wall or structure to hold it. A sign on the door reads “The Wandering Inn”

@the-tavern-wizard’s narrator also waves politely to @the-gun-fighter’s narrator, despite being completely invisible and having no body.

AH... Oh. It's just a door.

[The gunfighter, embarrassed as he was, waves to the merchant wizard and enters the The Wandering Inn]

“Welcome to the Wandering Inn! What can I get for you?”

One room please. How much is one night?

[The gunfighter wanted to ask about making money, but held that in for after he got settled]

“3 currency per night for a single person room.”

10 nights if I don't buy anything else.

[The gunfighter mumbled to himself]

And how much for food?

“Water, bread, and soup of the day are free, but anything special will cost you.“

The wizard points at the menu hanging above the bar.

Soup of the Day: Chili

“You can view our prices here. If you’re paying, we can conjure whatever food and drink you can imagine.”

@the-gun-fighter

“Well see you around”

Yeah, uh, see ya around.

[The gunfighter turns back to the @the-tavern-wizard]

All right, I'd like the soup of the day and some bread.

Before long, a ghostly waiter arrives with a bowl of chili or whatever… I’m sorry but I feel this man has been very rude to my kind!

“Narrator… behave.”

No! We follow heroes and protagonists around and colorfully weave their tales. It’s what we do!

You, sir, should be grateful!

“Narrator!”

Maybe you do, but my narrator just brings me trouble.

[Oh yeah? Tell me one time I brought you trouble]

Oh. I can name multiple.

That time you told the obviously homophobic town that I was gay. I had fight the entire town to leave with my life.

That other time when you convinced the townfolk that I was responsible for murders that were physically impossible for me to do.

And that time you made me believe an entire saloon wanted me dead. I murdered so many innocent people that day. And for what? Your own morbid amusement?

Their ghosts still haunt me to this day.

[Well, that last one is on you. You should've known to not take my words at face value]

Well, it's not my fault that you're so goddamn convincing.

horrorvillaintourney

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CHOOSE.

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Voting ended onSep 16, 2024

ospreyonthemoon

Hilarious to me that this is the final

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

“Water to wine”

Oh, cool. What does it do exactly?

*all water within 30 feet of the card when drawn turn into wine*

*not blood… unless you consider it water*

[The gunfighter looks in his canteen to check and the water in it has turned to wine]

Well, ain't that something? While that was fun, I ain't much of a gambling man, so I'll stop. What else can I buy with my... currency?

[The gunfighter tries the new word on his tongue. While he isn't opposed to a new form of money it is going to take some getting used to]

“Well my shop is always open, and @the-tavern-wizard also uses it to pay for logging.”

Oh. I didn't think about where I'm going to stay. Could you direct me to where this @the-tavern-wizard's establishment is?

[The gunfighter is currently homeless for reasons that should be obvious, but that doesn't stop him from sleeping outside, on the grass, if he has to]

You turn around and a door is behind you. It stands without a wall or structure to hold it. A sign on the door reads “The Wandering Inn”

@the-tavern-wizard’s narrator also waves politely to @the-gun-fighter’s narrator, despite being completely invisible and having no body.

AH... Oh. It's just a door.

[The gunfighter, embarrassed as he was, waves to the merchant wizard and enters the The Wandering Inn]

“Welcome to the Wandering Inn! What can I get for you?”

One room please. How much is one night?

[The gunfighter wanted to ask about making money, but held that in for after he got settled]

“3 currency per night for a single person room.”

10 nights if I don't buy anything else.

[The gunfighter mumbled to himself]

And how much for food?

“Water, bread, and soup of the day are free, but anything special will cost you.“

The wizard points at the menu hanging above the bar.

Soup of the Day: Chili

“You can view our prices here. If you’re paying, we can conjure whatever food and drink you can imagine.”

@the-gun-fighter

“Well see you around”

Yeah, uh, see ya around.

[The gunfighter turns back to the @the-tavern-wizard]

All right, I'd like the soup of the day and some bread.

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

“Water to wine”

Oh, cool. What does it do exactly?

*all water within 30 feet of the card when drawn turn into wine*

*not blood… unless you consider it water*

[The gunfighter looks in his canteen to check and the water in it has turned to wine]

Well, ain't that something? While that was fun, I ain't much of a gambling man, so I'll stop. What else can I buy with my... currency?

[The gunfighter tries the new word on his tongue. While he isn't opposed to a new form of money it is going to take some getting used to]

“Well my shop is always open, and @the-tavern-wizard also uses it to pay for logging.”

Oh. I didn't think about where I'm going to stay. Could you direct me to where this @the-tavern-wizard's establishment is?

[The gunfighter is currently homeless for reasons that should be obvious, but that doesn't stop him from sleeping outside, on the grass, if he has to]

You turn around and a door is behind you. It stands without a wall or structure to hold it. A sign on the door reads “The Wandering Inn”

@the-tavern-wizard’s narrator also waves politely to @the-gun-fighter’s narrator, despite being completely invisible and having no body.

AH... Oh. It's just a door.

[The gunfighter, embarrassed as he was, waves to the merchant wizard and enters the The Wandering Inn]

“Welcome to the Wandering Inn! What can I get for you?”

One room please. How much is one night?

[The gunfighter wanted to ask about making money, but held that in for after he got settled]

“3 currency per night for a single person room.”

10 nights if I don't buy anything else.

[The gunfighter mumbled to himself]

And how much for food?

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

“Water to wine”

Oh, cool. What does it do exactly?

*all water within 30 feet of the card when drawn turn into wine*

*not blood… unless you consider it water*

[The gunfighter looks in his canteen to check and the water in it has turned to wine]

Well, ain't that something? While that was fun, I ain't much of a gambling man, so I'll stop. What else can I buy with my... currency?

[The gunfighter tries the new word on his tongue. While he isn't opposed to a new form of money it is going to take some getting used to]

“Well my shop is always open, and @the-tavern-wizard also uses it to pay for logging.”

Oh. I didn't think about where I'm going to stay. Could you direct me to where this @the-tavern-wizard's establishment is?

[The gunfighter is currently homeless for reasons that should be obvious, but that doesn't stop him from sleeping outside, on the grass, if he has to]

You turn around and a door is behind you. It stands without a wall or structure to hold it. A sign on the door reads “The Wandering Inn”

@the-tavern-wizard’s narrator also waves politely to @the-gun-fighter’s narrator, despite being completely invisible and having no body.

AH... Oh. It's just a door.

[The gunfighter, embarrassed as he was, waves to the merchant wizard and enters the The Wandering Inn]

“Welcome to the Wandering Inn! What can I get for you?”

One room please. How much is one night?

[The gunfighter wanted to ask about making money, but held that in for after he got settled]

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

“Water to wine”

Oh, cool. What does it do exactly?

*all water within 30 feet of the card when drawn turn into wine*

*not blood… unless you consider it water*

[The gunfighter looks in his canteen to check and the water in it has turned to wine]

Well, ain't that something? While that was fun, I ain't much of a gambling man, so I'll stop. What else can I buy with my... currency?

[The gunfighter tries the new word on his tongue. While he isn't opposed to a new form of money it is going to take some getting used to]

“Well my shop is always open, and @the-tavern-wizard also uses it to pay for logging.”

Oh. I didn't think about where I'm going to stay. Could you direct me to where this @the-tavern-wizard's establishment is?

[The gunfighter is currently homeless for reasons that should be obvious, but that doesn't stop him from sleeping outside, on the grass, if he has to]

You turn around and a door is behind you. It stands without a wall or structure to hold it. A sign on the door reads “The Wandering Inn”

@the-tavern-wizard’s narrator also waves politely to @the-gun-fighter’s narrator, despite being completely invisible and having no body.

AH... Oh. It's just a door.

[The gunfighter, embarrassed as he was, waves to the merchant wizard and enters the The Wandering Inn]

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

“Water to wine”

Oh, cool. What does it do exactly?

*all water within 30 feet of the card when drawn turn into wine*

*not blood… unless you consider it water*

[The gunfighter looks in his canteen to check and the water in it has turned to wine]

Well, ain't that something? While that was fun, I ain't much of a gambling man, so I'll stop. What else can I buy with my... currency?

[The gunfighter tries the new word on his tongue. While he isn't opposed to a new form of money it is going to take some getting used to]

“Well my shop is always open, and @the-tavern-wizard also uses it to pay for logging.”

Oh. I didn't think about where I'm going to stay. Could you direct me to where this @the-tavern-wizard's establishment is?

[The gunfighter is currently homeless for reasons that should be obvious, but that doesn't stop him from sleeping outside, on the grass, if he has to]

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

“Water to wine”

Oh, cool. What does it do exactly?

*all water within 30 feet of the card when drawn turn into wine*

*not blood… unless you consider it water*

[The gunfighter looks in his canteen to check and the water in it has turned to wine]

Well, ain't that something? While that was fun, I ain't much of a gambling man, so I'll stop. What else can I buy with my... currency?

[The gunfighter tries the new word on his tongue. While he isn't opposed to a new form of money it is going to take some getting used to]

skelotom

academicblorbo

"if you are over 30 on Tumblr the mental illness won" "the aging fanbase of Tumblr" motherfucker if you are over 30 and have been here the entire time it means the mental illness didn't win we are still alive WE MADE IT

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

“Water to wine”

Oh, cool. What does it do exactly?

#goodnight

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*

[The bounty for Mr. Smith was 5 dollars. 5 dollars that the gunfighter couldn't have made in any other way as killing people was all he was good at]

Uh huh. Keep that up and we'll see if you count as people.

Anyway, how much do I have after the lie detector and the mute button?

“So that’s about 120$. 120%/3 = 40 currency… so 40-9 = 31… you have about 31 extra currency to spend… and you can draw a free card if you’d like.”

Sure, I'll draw a card.

[The gunfighter draws a card from the deck and looks at it]

(The gunfighter drew a 38)

[The gunfighter steps up to the merchant wizards cart]

Do you have anything that will get rid of this voice?

@the-gun-fighter

“Which one?”

The one that narrates everything

[The gunfighter asked the merchant wizard]

“Oh that wasn’t Jerry?”

“Nope not me this time… well there are three ways, disconnecting you from them, destroying them, or trapping them in a finite body.”

Which one is the easiest?

[The gunfighter asked, as he was very eager to get rid of me. Unfortunately for him, that was impossible]

No it wasn't

[Oh, but it was]

No it wasn't. We've had this argument before. You also said that you never lied but you've admitted to lying.

[Oh come on. It was just that one time]

That one time where you said that i was reaching for my gun when i wasn't

“Oh I see, option 1 and 3 are preferable. It also seems to have sentience so I can give you a better option, a lie detector and a mute button.”

The lie detector and mute button would be best.

[The gunfighter brought out what measly coin he could scrounge up from his pockets]

I've got a dollar and 43 cents. Will that be enough?

[This was old money from the wild west days that would be equivalent to more money in the year 2019 for example, if he had simply been sent to the future and not this odd land of Magic]

What's that supposed to mean?

“Oh US dollars…hm let’s see… so that would be about 20$ dollars today? 1 currency = around 3 to 4 dollars roughly, so that’s about 6 currency…. I’d say that for the mute button is 10 currency and the lie detector is 5… so 15 currency and you have 6… so if you can make up the difference of 9 then we are set, oh and if you have it we take credit.”

@the-gun-fighter

[The gunfighter searched his pockets for any more money that he could find, sadly, 1 dollar and 43 cents was all he had]

What is, uhh, credit?

“Right… we also trade in items so if you have anything of value on you we can exchange that for money.”

Right. I, uhh, have this silver locket i got from, uuhh...

[He got that silver locket from the man he shot dead for the bounty on his head. Unfortunatly he was brought to this world before he could turn in the bounty]

Yeah, umm, that.

[The gumfighter is nervous, not knowing how the merchant wizard will take the fact that he killed a man in cold blood]

“Ah your a bounty hunter, if you don’t mind me asking, you can tell me the name of the man and which agency took the bounty out I can actually cash you out for it, well that is if your dimension has registered with the IPMG, if not then I would only be able to exchange the necklace for its monetary value.”

*he smiles*

@the-gun-fighter

yeah, uhh, I took out a Mr. Smith, full name Jacob Smith, for the Bounty Board Association.

[For once in his life the gunfighter wasn't lying]

Well, you ain't exactly a paragon of truth yourself, are you?

"Ah good, we have that, seem like... just that association joint but that's good enough.. here you go"

*I hand overt the bounty*