lesser dog is a friend of mine

Hayley | leo | she/her | formerly deansboobs | mostly on my sideblog now

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[moviequotes3]

austin powers was so fucked for doing this

[serial-unaliver-deactivated2024]

they hate us control freaks for making sure everyone else does things the correct way

[zeroatthebone]

[magicratfingers]

never thought the dad was hot before

[redfagdiver]

Tumblr speech patterns really are indistinguishable from Calvin and Hobbes, and I'm starting to think that's not a coincidence

[areyoudoingthis]

babe wake up ao3 came up with the only funny april fools joke in the history of the world

[justplainsalty]

The blog post is pretty great too.

[eerieviri]

they're holding my fucking thang hostage for $6

[parkchanwoohoo]

Had my suspicions but I have finally confirmed it this morning: The rival Pokémon Go team I have been beefing with, whose gym's total annihilation I have incorporated into my morning routine, is actually a group of local elementary school students

[parkchanwoohoo]

I always wondered why the Pokémon at this gym were so weak but today I left the house before the local students get picked up by the schoolbus and I saw a group of kids congregating around the gym pokestop and I was like "Oh no"

[undeadentropy]

Congrats on being promoted to pokemon villain

[venerable-thief]

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

[wumblr]

now that the statute of limitations has expired, i can say that during the pandemic, my apartment complex at the time tried to change the laundry room hours to business hours, and i very calmly and quietly went down, took a cinderblock off the garden wall, and threw it through the glass door. and it stayed open til 9pm, and we never heard about changing hours again. sometimes you have to throw a cinderblock in a very businesslike manner, i'm saying. this is a negotiation, among stakeholders, and i would like to make clear that the cost/benefit balance sheet used to make the decision to change the hours was missing a variable

[dr3yk0m1x]

more hector doodles because i miss sleeping with the aircon on 😔

[it-is-i-miss-chevious]

Do you see my vision?

[ever-hope]

I can feel the growth in my bones. I’ll get it right this time

[fr33world]

5pm coffee and long aimless walk will lift the curse

[every1hatesjuliet]

vent under the cut

[underachievers-please-try-harder]

Track of the day // CMAT - Take A Sexy Picture Of Me

[glorious-spoon]

one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off

[helloitsbees]

crazy to me that I've been on tumblr long enough to see the vast majority of posts i see on a daily basis evolve from superwholock and fandom shit to this