[astrodidact]

[iammyfather]

While charging them $35 when they run out of money.

[ienchanted]

The 2019 Met Gala || Constance Wu

[transmadamegiry-remade-deactiva]

alright you nearsighted motherfuckers

rb this and tag your age when you first got glasses

[doggie-girl-deactivated20230214]

[liberalsarecool]

Republicans are disgusting. Here is your tyranny, brought to you by the cowards in the GOP Congress.

[spaceasianmillennial]

There’s a protest held by the Carrizo/Comecrudo tribe.

You can give to the Carrizo/Comecrudo tribe here.

[echoes-of-me]

Please please please boost and donate!!!! This is practically my backyard!

This tree will be just one of the casualties if things continue 😥

[notyouramelie]

Again, the link is broken

https://www.gofundme.com/carrizocomecrudotribeoftexas this is a real link

Please share the correct version

[imfemalewarrior]

On mobile but awareness about this needs to be raised

-FemaleWarrior

[pride-flags]

Please donate if you can!

[lesbirdan]

3/28/2019

[neat-mackinnon-disney-crosby]

I lost it at “sustenance time” and “fair” 😂

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

[vintageadvertising]

Star Wars Immunization PSA [1977]

[wilwheaton]

Too fucking relevant.

[insomniac-arrest]

sometimes I see shiny things like this 

or this

and instead of admiring them the ghosts of my protestant ancestors possess me and I think shit like ‘well that’s just a little too much’

my ancestor Pain Wilhelmina Smith wacks a stick around my brain like ‘you like that Catholic shit? you gonna pay indulgences for that, huh? punk? get yee to a single room log cabin and PRAY’

anyway, my room is absolutely bare and buying a piece of clothing for over 20 dollars pains me

[insomniac-arrest]

actually, I’m sorry to admit this, but I actually mis-remembered the name of the ancestor I was thinking of

her name was Fear

[insomniac-arrest]

if you’re wondering, my puritan forebears actually had 5 children

please note Wrestling, Fear, and Love Brewster. And Jonathon.

[insomniac-arrest]

this is so funny, thank you

[gallusrostromegalus]

You know sometimes I grumble about the Irish ancestors we’ve managed to locate having either the same 4 saint names, or Unprounnceable Gaelic names that translate to things like “Seaweedmonger” or “Yellow Woman” but then I look over at the Puritains and feel better.

[irrevocably-delicious2]

Some retail complaints from twitter this morning. I don’t think anyone can fully comprehend how stupid humans are until they work a retail or hospitality job.

[starfire003]

I’d like to add on the people who ask a question, get an answer they don’t like and ask the same question in a different way to get the response they want.

[corisanna]

I get stuff like this often enough at work, but that last one? There is one customer we have that does that so frequently and for so long (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY MINUTES of trying to get the answer she wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she isn’t present.

Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and try it again with the same employees the next day.

[greatfay]

Me: “For the drink, it’s [x amount] :)”

Customer: “I saw a sign that I get a free drink?”

Me: “For signing up for our rewards program, yes :)”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t have one of those”

Me: “Well if you sign up, you can get the free drink! :)”

Customer: “Eh I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “…” “…” “:)”

Customer: “I hate getting all those emails”

Me: “Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can show you how :)”

Customer: “No thanks, I don’t want an account”

Me: “Okay… well the drink will be [x amount] :)”

Customer: “I thought it was free?”

Me: “:)”

Me: “It’s free if you sign up for our rewards program :)”

Customer: “I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “Then the drink isn’t free :)”

Customer: “You can’t just give me the drink?”

Me: “No, I can’t unfortunately :)”

Customer: “Why not? It’s only [x amount]”

Me: “If that’s not a lot of money to you, why don’t you just pay for it? :)”

Customer: “This is shit customer service”

Me: “:)”

Customer: “This is highway robbery, squeezing every dime out of people, you should be ashamed of yourself—”

Me: “I don’t control the prices, I’m just a cashier :)“

Customer: “—making a fucking fuss over a damn drink and it’s not even a large—”

Me: “That’s not my decision, I’m just a cashier :)”

Customer: “—and you bet I won’t be coming back here again”

Me: “How unfortunate :)”

[thekeybladeninja]

I can feel the :) deep in my soul

[fithoneys]

[wastehound-voof-deactivated2024]

[ladysparklefists]

idk I just love how we Young People Today use ~improper~ punctuation/grammar in actually really defined ways to express tone without having to explicitly state tone like that’s just really fucking cool, like

no    =    “No,” she said. 

no.    =    "No,” she said sharply.

No    =    “No,” she stated firmly.

No.    =    “No,” she snapped.

NO    =    “No!” she shouted.

noooooo    =    “No,” she moaned.

no~    =    “No,” she said with a drawn-out sing-song.

~no~    =    “No,” she drawled sarcastically.

NOOOOO    =    “No!” she screamed dramatically.

no?!    =    “No,” she said incredulously.

[allthingslinguistic]

I’ve been calling this “typographical nuance” and I have a few more to add: 

*no* = “No,” she said emphatically. 

*nopes on out of here* = “No,” she said of herself in the third person, with a touch of humorous emphasis.

~*~noooo~*~ = “No,” she moaned in stylized pseudo-desperation.

#no = “No,” she added as a side comment.

“no” = “No,” she scare-quoted.

wtf are you kidding no = “No,” she said flatly. “And I can’t believe I have to say this.”

no no No No NO NO NO NO = "No,” she repeated over and over again, growing louder and more emphatic. 

nooOOOO = “No,” she said, starting out quietly and turning into a scream.

*no = “Oops, I meant ‘no,’” she corrected, “Sorry for the typo in my previous message.”

[commonplacefolklore]

I cannot express how strongly I absolutely love language and writing and communication but if anyone asks why I will be showing them this post from now on

[stevetomjohn]

this is great, but I got to “no no No No NO NO NO NO” and immediately started singing “mamma mia, mamma mia, mamma mia let me go”

[headjudgelen]

no no no nO (no no no)= “No,” she said, sticking to the status quo

[panpteryx]

nuuuuuuuuu= “Oh no,” she said sympathetically, trying to stifle her laughter

[best-of-inspirobot]

[tearlessrain]

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

[tearlessrain]

Rule #2

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,

For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.

You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,

But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,

Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,

For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,

And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,

For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,

And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,

So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

[sarahconnorjr]

All right, I can't bear this any longer: Could you PLEASE give us some context to those book covers you keep posting? Like what exactly are they, where do they come from, how did the author get those ideas, AND JUST HOW MANY OF THESE THINGS ARE THERE?! They are really weird and disturbing. I love them.

When I put them in the queue I thought everyone was going to get annoyed because they’ve seen them a million times, I feel terrible that so many of you guys haven’t!

There is this controversy in book industries about e-books; specifically Amazon who has made it easy for someone to self publish whereas before it would cost someone thousands of dollars and so if you did you were a loser because you obviously couldn’t get an agent or even get an indie publisher to back you. All of a sudden a million books are being self published by losers who are ruining literature because anyone can just print anything and nothing matters anymore. It’s the same thing they said when they invented the printing press and then again when trade paperbacks became a thing. 

A whole bunch of people, mostly fanfic writers just repurpose in their work, start publishing these short erotic novels that they haven’t even edited and it was all getting weirder and weirder. 

BDSM became mainstream because of EL James publishing her Twilight fanfiction ‘50 shades of gray’ and then suddenly there were a bunch of books that made people uncomfortable about time traveling to fuck dinosaurs. One erotic novel written by Christie Sims and Alara Branwen kind of became the poster child for the demise intellectualism.

A few years later someone calling themselves Chuck Tingle started to publish tiny erotica novels about people having sex with unicorns and Bigfoot that were intentionally weird with long and had highly specific titles. The covers went viral, most people thinking they were memes but then discovered they were real books that were actual short stories written by somebody who knew how to write and was obviously mocking the controversy.

Everyone was complaining and trying to find out who he was and journalists were trying to contact “him” but he refused to be interviewed. The popular rumor started going around that it was actually a father and son that wrote the books together and someone who everyone is probably sure was actually Chuck Tingle was anonymously interviewed and was like, “lol yeah and we usually write them start to finish in one night” which made people madder and was true because he really blew up when a meme about this dress went viral in a day and by the end of the day Chuck Tingle had a new erotic novel about fucking the dress.

Adding to the controversy is the fact that if you publish through Amazon people can read your books for free through their “digital library” but when people check out books it’s technically counted as a sale. Out of nowhere some dude named Chuck Tingle was at the top of the bestsellers list with these offensive books and sort of accidentally got nominated for a really prestigious award and everyone lost their shit.

The powers that be were changing the rules so he couldn’t win, which is what also happened to Neil Gaiman when his comic book Sandman got nominated and everyone was outraged that a comic book could be considered literature. Neil Gaiman actually won the award and then they put in a rule that no more comic books could be nominated, but they got lucky with Chuck Tingle and he didn’t win. Except then he was nominated for a second time.

Obviously Chuck Tingle didn’t win again, 

but then he kind of doubled down and published books about getting fucked by his nomination and then fucked by the concept of getting fucked over by the industry. Then his book started getting really mostly sociopolitical and shoved his award nomination down everyone’s throats..

They were still just short weird erotica, but instead of being tongue-in-cheek funny they became condescendingly critical.

He has a website with an about me page but he’s become a folklore hero and everyone is 99% sure it’s fake.

As he stands now, the industries are still really upset but the indie scenes are considering them high art.

I am among the latter.

[tinyhipsterboy]

Don’t forget, the whole reason people nominated Chuck Tingle for the Hugo awards in the first place is because a lot of white male authors were really mad that women and racial minorities were winning awards. They nominated him, but of course, he wasn’t going to ruin the mystery by revealing himself, so instead he had someone go to the Hugos in his place… Zoe Quinn, who Gamergate centered around, and who was therefore the poster child of everything this group *hated*.

Chuck Tingle is a goddamn master.

[fool-errant]

Thank you for addingthat. I was about to be “but it wasn’t an accident he was nominated for a Hugo” 

[kakaphoe]

Also Chuck Tingle is absolutely the pseudonym of another famous writer, we just don’t know which one.

[mckitterick]

I REALLY LOVE how this author has been baiting the MRAs and racists in the science fiction community!

Here’s a backgrounder I wrote on the results of the first Hugo Awards that the “Rabid Puppies” (as they’re known in the SF world) tried to ruin, and how it backfired: X

Here’s a collection of posts about Chuck Tingle Hugo Award controversy: X

Nice piece and interview with Lawrence author (and dear friend) @tessagratton about the controversy: X

Here’s a good Salon article on the topic: X

[katbelleinthedark]

No lie, the Chuck Tingle story is my favourite modern mystery.

[mikkeneko]

Also honestly if you talk to Chuck Tingle outside of his books he’s just… a really nice dude? Like the bit he does is very weird and wack, he frames everything in terms of stacked parallel realities and his vocab is… descriptivist, but within that framework he’s super gentle and respectful towards everybody and just wants the best for everyone.

Chuck Tingle is an angel, one of those really weird noneuclidean ones.

[naamahdarling]

What surprised me most about Uncle Chuck’s stories is how good they are. Like, ridiculously stupid and gonzo, but the writing itself, line by line, is astronomically above what I expected, or, indeed, than we deserve.

Chuck Tingle is a gift, and people who think he’s “stealing” anything or is getting attention at the expense of other artists’ recognition really need to chill out. He’s his own thing. Leave him alone.

[bramblethekobold]

Love is real, as all true buckaroo know.

[bigneonglitter]

CHUCK TINGLE IS A GODDAMNED DELIGHT. THE ONLY CHRSTMAS SWEATER I OWN IS A NAKED T-TEX BECAUSE LOVE IS, IN FACT, REAL.

Also he does great work with his local library in Billings, Montana. 

[lilnasxvevo]

His twitter is fantastic. I don’t think anyone’s mentioned that above but maybe I missed it.

[definite-human]

Chuck Tingle is an angel, one of those really weird noneuclidean ones.

[deanoru]

I’m so tired of every show that takes place in the past (wild west, medieval, pirates etc) ALWAYS having so much sexual violence towards women like writers can cry “oh it’s realism” all you want but it’s very transparent how realism only applies when you want to hurt women on screen. If we’re talking staying realistic, why doesn’t everyone have brown teeth? Or bad skin? Or dying of dysentery? Just admit y'all want an excuse to brutalize women on screen lol

[squidsticks]

This pisses me off so much. A lot of the time if you mention realism would also involve women having unshaved legs or pits, or bushy eyebrows, or syphilis, the answer is often “well that’s gross, no one wants to read about/see that” and like…. If you think that women being ugly is grotesque, but brutal depictions of rape aren’t, then I don’t really know what to say to you other than stay the fuck away from me.

[weepingandgnashingofteeth]

To Whom It May Concern:

[mens-rights-activia]