Cuddles Can Be Dangerous!

Say Hello to Alfie: an adorable, seven-year-old demon abandoned in an unfamiliar world by his deadbeat devil of a father. He's easy to get along with, but be careful, he may bite. {{Byproduct and sideblog of dr-alfred-heimer. He's literally the man himself...but seven}} M!A: None Main Image by We-All-Live-With-A-Mask-Of-Lies.

[ofmiceandcheeze]

[4gifs]

[samdesantis]

[the-littlest-hellspawn-blog]

"Uncle Karl!" Alfie squealed excitedly, jumping up and down with his arms outstretched for a hug, "I haven’t seen you in forever, I’ve missed you so much!"

[dancing-death]

Hug is obliged, and an affectionate hair rufflin’ is bestowed as well. He’s as fond of Al’s younger self as much as he dislikes the older- after all, even if he can’t relate to kids that well, he is fond of them.

"I’ve missed you as vell, little vun. Vhat haff you been up to?"

[the-littlest-hellspawn-blog]

Alfie giggled when Karl ruffled his hair, causing his chest appendages and abdominal snakes to flail excitedly. He looked up at Karl and beamed—to the extent that a weird, little demon boy without lips could beam.

"I’ve been up to so much, Uncle Karl! Me and my best ghoul friend Shannon have been on some adventures, and I played hide and seek with Annie and I ate all the roof pigeons," Alfie said, seeming particularly proud of that last one, "it’s been so much fun!"

[the-littlest-hellspawn-blog]

"Uncle Karl!" Alfie squealed excitedly, jumping up and down with his arms outstretched for a hug, "I haven't seen you in forever, I've missed you so much!"

[chainscwsandcorpses-deactivated]

Shaz laughed and took a bow before answering all of the curious little demon’s questions. 

"I don’t know, I just did. Probably a human. It is, isn’t it?" He ruffled Alfie’s hair. "I think maybe we’ll stop at two donuts, Alfie. You don’t need any more sugar today. My name’s Shaz, by the way. It’s nice to meet you." 

Shaz took a good, long look at Alfie, a worried frown forming on his face. It wasn’t exactly beach weather, hence why he’d picked out a thicker jacket than normal when he’d gone out that day. And here was Alfie, standing around without a stitch of clothing on him. (Apparently that was what demons did, Shaz guessed.)  Feeling sorry for him, Shaz put his backpack on the ground and took off his coat.

"Do you want a jacket?" Shaz reached out to hand the garment to Alfie. "It’s awfully cold to be walking around with no clothes on."

[the-littlest-hellspawn-blog]

"Shaz…" Alfie said aloud, rolling the word over his three-pronged tongue. It was a funny word, nice to say and hear, and the Z at the end made it at least 14% more awesome. He giggled with glee at Shaz’s dramatic bow, the ghoul sure was a showman, “a human?! Whoa! I’m meant to eat those too!”

Alfie paused for a second, realising that this was impolite and that it was best to back-track.

"But I don’t..very often…and even then only to meanies, not that it makes it any less mean…" Alfie spluttered out, he was floundering pretty badly, but his concern dissolved when Shaz ruffled his hair, "thank you, Mr Shaz, two donuts is plenty more than I get anyway!"

Alfie fell silent when Shaz began to remove his jacket, somewhat confused by the gesture. When the coat was finally offered to him, Alfie noticed Shaz’s bloated midsection: huge and bulging from what was—unbeknownst to Alfie—a celebratory Donut Day binge. He’d never seen anything like it before, and it through him into a state that could only accurately be described as awe.

"Oh my gosh, look at your tummy! It’s huge!" He cried whilst hopping up and down in excitement, "that’s so cool, you must be able to eat a lot! Can I feel it!?"

In his excitement the coat was completely forgotten, his full attention drawn to the awesome gut of his new, grown-up friend.

[figmas]

[sociallyunacceptableart4]

[mobileleprechaun]

they should not have freed him

[the-littlest-hellspawn-blog]

Unable to contain her excitement, Annie knelt down to Alfie's height and brushed some of her hair away from left ear so that she could show him the piercing. "Look, little brother, I just got my ears pierced yesterday!" she chirped, starter earrings flashing in the light of the sun. "Mother said that I was to get them down as soon as possible before my sixteenth birthday. I was frightened, at first, but there was no pain, Only a pinch."

Alfie smiled, trying to mask his confusion as to what exactly Annie was showing him here. It seemed that she'd had a piece of metal inserted into her earlobe, which seemed bizarre to Alfie, but he was happy for her nonetheless."Wow, it's great!" He cried, lifting both hands into the air, "I can see why you're so happy with it!"

[the-littlest-hellspawn-blog]

We're going to kill your big sister.

I try my best to be a good boy all the time, so I can have friends and people will like me.But if you hurt Annie... ...I will eat you.

[chainscwsandcorpses-deactivated]

"Most people wouldn’t." Shaz said. "But now you would, hey? Now you know."

The ghoul smiled and offered him another donut- this time a plain one with yellow icing and purple sprinkles. 

"Here, take another one. You look hungry."

While the child ate the second donut, Shaz helped himself to two of the stale ones. 

He put his hands on his hips and scoffed at the suggestion that he couldn’t eat kids. It was true that he wouldn’t as a general rule, but that was beside the point. 

"Can so! Look." He put both hands in his mouth, stuck out his tongue and stretched his bottom jaw out to demonstrate. "But since I’m a nice monster, I won’t do it. I’ll just eat more donuts instead."

He unzipped his jacket and twisted his neck back and forth before eating another donut. 

"What’s your name?"

[the-littlest-hellspawn-blog]

Alfie excitedly received the second donut and placed it in his chest mouth, which chomped-up and devoured it eagerly. This was even better than Christmas, and the strange man in the coat was like a pudgy, grey Santa Claus.

"Thanks, mister, you're the coolest!" He said in complete sincerity, hopping up and down with his fists balled in excitement, "only Annie has given me this much food before."

When the stranger did that thing to his jaw, Alfie's eyes widened dramatically. He'd never seen anything like that before…except maybe with his best friend Shannon, who had mentioned being able to do it once or twice, but not as big as this guy could!

"Whoa…," was all that Alfie managed to say, his own mouth agape (though not nearly to the extent that the stranger was capable of). He stood staring for a full minute before he managed to muster words, and when he did, they came out in a flood, "HOW DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT? WHAT'S THE BIGGEST THING YOU CAN EAT IN ONE GO? THAT'S SO AWESOME!"

Alfie realised that he was getting a little over-excited, and giggled pleasantly when the stranger referred to himself as "a nice monster". Just like me and Shannon, he thought to himself.

"I'm Alfie, mister," he said with a hand outstretched towards the stranger, still not seeing what was under his jacket, "It's nice to meet you!"

[sandandglass]

[metalheadx-x]

Happy zombie by PatCas

Edited by metalheadx-x

[thecrimsonalchemist]

apparently daddy long legs are called ‘harvestman’ in other parts of the world

what are they harvesting?????

[thecrimsonalchemist]

[niknak79]

[octopussoir-]

[severed-lolita]

" You bad child! "