s e r e n e 🍃

dreamer by day, blogger by night.

[the-mediocre-kid]

I’m not okay. Please don’t ask why.

[the-mediocre-kid]

Kailan?

kailan kaya darating yung panahon na ako naman? na ako naman yung bibigyang panahon at hindi isasantabi? paglalaanan ng oras, aalalahanin, bibigyang pansin. marami kasi akong gustong sabihin, pero kadalasan, sarili ko lang din naman ang nakakaalam.

sa dami ng gusto kong isiwalat, tila wala yatang balak makinig. marami akong gustong ilabas pero wala naman gustong makinig. i am surrounded by people and nothing but people. connected but not direct. alam mo yun? madami kang kilala, pero di sila lahat kaibigan mo.

kailan kaya yung panahon na ako naman yung gagawan ng mga bagay na ako yung gumagawa para sa kanila? sawa na kasi akong nagbibigay daan at umuunawa. kailan yung ako naman?

hindi sa nanghihingi ako ng kapalit. gusto kong maramdaman yung ginagawa ko sa kanila kasi di ko siya magawa sa sarili ko. wala naman kasing gustong kumilala o umintindi sakin. sino lang ba ako? isa lang naman akong ordinaryong tao na nage-exist sa paningin nila.

isa lang naman gusto ko, atensyon. pero di ko alam, mahirap pala yun. mahirap siyang makamtan. hindi ako papansin, tahimik lang akong nagmamasid. di ko mapigilang di mainggit. 

siguro, mag-aantay na naman uli ako. tutal, dito naman ako magaling.

[the-mediocre-kid]

D I T O

dito kung saan tayo tago dito kung saan hindi kita ng lahat pilit binabago pagsasamahang may lamat

dito kung san kita natagpuan hindi ito sa pagitan ng paalam at pahiram pagitan ito ng mahal ko at mamahalin ko handa kitang ipaglaban hanggang dulo

mali sa mata ng iba pakielam ko ba sa mata nila? hindi naman sila yung umiibig ako naman itong kinikilig

dito sa matatawag kitang akin dito sa matatawag mo akong iyo dito sabay nating tatahakin ang mundong minsang atin

dito kita nakilala dito tayo napuno ng magagandang alaala halika, halina’t dagdagan pa buuin ang mga patlang

dito ko matapang na sasabihin mga salitang minsan kong binitin MAHAL KITA! yan ang aking awitin liriko na aking kakantahin

hindi ko na kailangang pag-sigawan mahal ko, ikaw lang naman. mundo ko biglang nagbago, nagkakulay, nabuhay. hindi na kita kailangan pang tanungin. ikaw lang naman ang tangi kong iibigin. maligayang kaarawan ng mga puso. ❤️

[the-mediocre-kid]

[the-mediocre-kid]

FINDING: F A U L T

i was just wondering. was it always my fault for being just the ‘me’? being as myself all the time? the talkative, hyper, crazy, childish, sensitive, open and honest? minsan may mali na din talaga sa pagiging ganto no? ako lang ba o kayo din?

nakakasawa nang mag-adjust para langd un sa mga taong di ka gets. but in the first place? bat nga ba ako nag-aadjust? siguro marunong lang ako makisama? mabait ako? alam ko feeling ng hindi napakikitungtuhan ng maganda? siguro gusto kong ma-adapt yung ginagalawan nila? mali nga ba? minsan pansin ko sa sarili ko, di na din maganda yung masyado akong open at madaldal. yung mahilig magtanong kung ayos lang ba yung mga kaibigan ko o yung mga mahal ko sa buhay. na mali na din siduro na masyado akong nag-aalala sa kanila.

pero bat ko yun ginagawa? KASI ALAM KO YUNG PAKIRAMDAM NG WALANG MAY PAKI SAYO. NA MADALAS MABALIWALA SA KADAHILANANG UMALIS MAN SILA, ALAM NILA MAY MABABALIKAN PA SILA KASI KILALA KA NILA BILANG NEVER NAGTANIM NG GALIT AT SAMA NG LOOB.

NAKAKABOBO. KAKAPUTA. NAKAKAGAGO.

so i guess kailangan ko pa mag-apologize sa mga ginagawa ko. yoko na mag-exist. wala din naman pala akong dulot. lol

[tropicpacks]

Halsey twitter pack || like or reblog if you use or save ♡ Or credit to onelassgrande on twitter

[spurpacks]

halsey

like or reblog; credit on twitter   @journaIselenas

[the-mediocre-kid]

they don’t like the idea of ‘YOU’

have you ever wondered how it feels like to be surrounded by people who’s fake showing they like you, worst, love you? maybe this kind of feeling is something not worthy to be felt by those people whom does is just show real love and compassion. you get to think of something like, THEY DON’T LIKE THE IDEA OF ‘YOU’.

i remember one time in my 8th or 9th grade, there’s this group of students who are my classmates, they always throw hate on me whenever i do something good, for them. like, i don’t get the logic of it. like, can someone tell me why? also, back when i was in high school again, the same squad would throw grudge on me just because i get to answer stuff they can’t answer. like, do you get my point here? my circle of friends always tells me that they’re only insecure of what i can do or what i am capable of. but what i don’t get the most is that, as the time goes by, i can see who’s faking their way on me and who’s don’. then came to my own realization, THEY DON’T LIKE THE IDEA OF ‘ME’.

they don’t wanna see me, hear me, do me work or anything that i do. i guess i’m not likable at all. but what made me reach this point? is that i’m strong that no matter or whoever leaves me on air, still, i can stand be independent.

the point of this post?

 YOU DON’T HAVE TO DEPEND YOUR HAPPINESS TO SOMEONE OR TO ANYTHING. LIVE OUT YOUR LIFE WITH THE CENTER OF IT ALL IS GOD AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE TRUE AND LOVES YOU FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE.

[the-mediocre-kid]

SA PAG-LUBOG NG ARAW 🌅

sa pag-lubog ng araw sasabay na rin ang damdamin ko sa pagpanaw pagpanaw ng mga alaala, na sakit at saya ang dala

sa pag lubog ng araw hindi na kita matatanaw dahil kakalimutan ka na ng puso ko napagod na kasi siya sayo sa pag-lubog ng araw bagong umaga ang aking masisilayan bagong araw para matuto para di na balikan ang nakaraan sa panahon na ika’y lumisan madami akong natuklasan natuto akong mamuhay ng mag-isa kahit sa una, puro pagdurusa marahil sumibol na ang panibagong araw mo nakalimutan mo na kasi ako. salamat sa mga alaalang binigay mo. masaya, maganda, pero nakakatanga. sa pag-lubog ng araw kasabay nito ang larawan mo. huli na itong pagsulat ko ng mga liriko na ikaw ang nasa likod, ng lahat ng ito. sa pag-lubog ng araw, di na ikaw ang nais kong matanaw.

[the-mediocre-kid]

I WISH I WAS THAT GIRL

i wish was that girl. that girl whom you secretly stalk while you’re on the way to school. that girl that you will notice the slight changes from her toes to her hairlines, that is now ash from blonde. i wish i was that girl. that girl who you’ll secretly stalk in the alleys she runs into. the stray dogs and cats she’d bumped into. that girl who got scars above her knee that she keeps hidden. i wish i was that girl. that girl whom you will greet randomly with a, ‘hi’ or ‘have a nice day, beautiful.’ that girl who you’d dreamed about. that girl you can call, ‘yours’

i wish i was that girl. that girl who can stay up late just to hear your non-sense rants about the world. or how rhianna dresses, or how sleek the new band rises. that girl who can listen to your sobs and cries because another girl dumped you just because your lip gloss was out of your lip line.

seriously, i wish i was that girl. that girl whom you’ll get in love with. whom you’ll share your lip gloss and eye shadow. that girl whom you’ll kiss on new year’s eve while together you raised those rainbow flag you got.

girl, i wish i was yours.

[the-mediocre-kid]

s p a r k s  ✨

see the lights burst in thin air nothing but sparks and flares see the beauty in every glow watch how far these lights will go

ever wonder why it resembles to a star? me too, i don’t know why they call it. metaphoric and vivid illusions leaving this place with shattered ash scar

just how they glow, it gives life to grow the sparks they give and the smoke that live one has to be reminded that fireworks are the metaphor of love

soon after it exploded, it will fade in thin air

[the-mediocre-kid]

r e n e w i n g  //  2 0 1 6

before finishing this year, i’ll settle everything that made this year a roller coaster of emotion.

starting it with collecting the beautiful memories me and my tropas created + the bitter one’s that gave me lessons to learn about. (keep them on my journal lol) also, throwing all the negative vibes so i’ll welcome next year with a smile. :)

good eve!

[mauloveskpop]

Jeongyeon TT Icons

[the-mediocre-kid]

💜💜💜

[baekoneggyeolk-ed-deactivated20]

why is he always like this with the mic?

[the-mediocre-kid]

so ayun. di na naman tayo nagkaintindhihan. di ko naman ibig sabihin na kasalanan ng pagkakabalikan natin yung sitwasyon. and kung nagbabalak kang itigil kung anong meron satin, PLEASE WAG.

[the-mediocre-kid]

160927 • l i g h t s ✨

[the-mediocre-kid]

160926 • moving library 📚