Trans people on this website really have convinced themselves of the transphobic cis gay lie that the categories of "trans women and gay men" and "trans men and lesbians" don't include gay trans men and trans lesbians respectively when we're discussing the history of community overlap that trans people share with cis gay people, and that's such a disservice to queer reality.
There is no one way to be trans, so of course there are both trans women and trans men in lesbian communities. Of course there are both trans women and trans men in gay male communities. We all touch each other's lives, we all touch each other's realities and share in our experiences. That's called being queer.
Your desire for comfort & easy categorization and your fear of "conflicting" identities is frankly, all rooted in the dominant culture of White Supremacy and you need to work through it.
Sit with why it makes you uncomfortable that a lesbian trans man, lesbian trans woman, lesbian nonbinary person, and lesbian cis woman are all lesbians in community with each other.
Sit with why it makes you uncomfortable that a gay trans man, trans woman who also identifies as a gay man, nonbinary person who also identifies as a gay man, and a cis gay man are all gay men in community with each other.
Does it feel like a threat to your own identity? Why? Why does it feel scary to you? Where is your anxiety coming from? Do you feel like some kind of sanctity is being disrupted? What specifically is so uncomfortable to you about a man experiencing womanhood and lesbian attraction or a woman experiencing manhood and gay male attraction? Why does someone else's experience with their own gender and sexuality upset you so much? Do you feel ownership over an identity because of the way you're attached to a word, and seeing someone else use it slightly differently upsets you? Why are you the arbiter of the words someone else uses for themself?
and fundamentally having conflicting identities and realities and experiences is queer thats what being queer is
and in being who we are we queer the idea of these social categories being clear and separate and distinct
queerness is and always has been inherently antithetical to the ways the cultural hegemony tells us the world exists
like you said we do a huge disservice to ourselves by layering the societally imposed false dichotomies that these systems use to erase us over our own ways of existing because we will always fit outside of these boxes
^the transmisogynistic upstairs neighbour stomping around like it's saying anything new or useful
Sounds like you're feeling threatened by the existence of other queer people outside of your own identity or who blur the lines of labels you claim for yourself. You should examine that insecurity with trusted loved ones instead of taking it out on internet strangers.
