I Thought The URL Was Funny

[the-piss-drawer]

Welcome To The Piss Drawer

This is @captaincreative's nsfw blog. Might have writing, might have just bullshittery. Don't expect a lot tbh. If you don't want to go to my main, here's a small rundown on myself:

Adult

Jackson/Captain

Xey/Xem + whatever is funnier for the bit + whatever I feel like

System but that doesn't Actually Matter

Be nice to me or you'll be blocked

Despite this blog's url, it isn't. Going to have a lot of talk about piss. I just thought it was FUNNY (how nobody has claimed that url I don't know. BUT IT'S FUNNY).

Despite my main blog not having a dni list, this one does!! Do Not Interact if you are (a/an):

MINOR

Yeah that's it minors don't interact I check that shit. If your blog doesn't have an age or adult somewhere visible, I will ask somehow someway just to make sure you are old enough to be interacting with this blog. I don't need an exact age, just knowing you are an adult will make me feel better.

I do. Take writing requests. They may not be the best (amateur?? smut writer I do NOT know what I'm doing bear with me bro.....) but I'm trying!! Do not expect the best of quality.

Rules For Requesting

Tags Used Here

Masterlist

The Queue

What to expect on this blog!!:

Bullshit comments I am not putting on my main (which is sfw)

OC x canon comments or headcanons or smutshots I'm not putting on my OC x canon blog (which is. Also sfw)

Reblogs I felt were too suggestive to have on my main or didn't feel comfortable having on there

Probably smutshots or headcanons about the characters in whatever media I like at the moment.

Everything will be marked mature (for sexual content most likely tbh) until/unless tumblr marks the entire blog mature

Okay I. Think I'm done for now. This will be added to as time goes on do read over it again every so often (I may make announcements so everyone knows). I'm not fandom tagging this post kill me with hammers guys.

[the-piss-drawer]

Makes out sloppy style with Firebrand

[rasplejax]

[the-piss-drawer]

Queue updated

[aringofsalt]

i love the level of friendship that is "would you like early access to the porn that i'm writing"

[n1ghtflowering]

my favorite ao3 writers be like this

[the-piss-drawer]

Sooooooooooo Firebrand may not be the next one I get to. Oops. Yeah everything out of order. May work on the request after this next one just so I don't feel like I'm holding it up.

[the-piss-drawer]

Oh no my bobner

[the-piss-drawer]

This is the Icedagger headcanons. I would like to preface these with 2 things:

Icedagger is an adult. If you do not want to see him in a sexual context, you can just not read this. You can block this blog too maybe, because it will happen again.

These are taking into account how I default Icedagger to the phighting au I made surrounding him. A brief explanation: Icedagger living amongst mortals and adopted into the Vine Staff, Shuriken, and Slingshot sibling dynamic. Icedagger is somewhat disconnected from his siblings and views the thieves den siblings as siblings more than the other deities. They do not know he is a deity (he goes by Icey and says his gear is Ice Moth [made an oc because of this they do interact]).

Yeah okay some of these are a little repeaty but also I'm tired and wanted to finish this so oops.

Marked mature bc blog got unmatured so uh. Minors don't interact I'm exploding you guys with my mind if you do

~~~

Awesome lesbian sex haver. Doesn't have to be lesbian sex specifically but does Not have the #CisGuyEquipment so. Also has a strap. Probably doesn't use it often but he has it so if you want him to he can.

He doesn't care about who takes what kind of role. Sure he'll be fine to take a more dominant role, but he doesn't. Care. You can ask him to take a more submissive role and he'd do it.

He'd rather fuck when his "siblings" are out, or at your place. He's not risking one of them walking in on you and him like that. Sure Icedagger can be smug and annoying (to a point) and condescending (and a god, but he doesn't look it mostly). But he's still a person and he gets embarrassed. And it's embarrassed to have someone walk in on you like that.

Probably not the best with aftercare. He can go for a while but Icedagger prefers naps after you both are done. You can get cleaned up after you both wake up, Icedagger WILL cuddle himself up to you and hold onto you like a koala. You're not getting out. Accept the nap bro.

Just a little degradation. As a treat. Not a lot, he hasn't earned that yet. But a little is fine. And more in a joking tone than anything else ("Wow you are sooooooooo fucking bad at this," with an eyeroll and teasing lilt to his voice and a big fucking grin on his face). Also will bite maybe perhaps.

Doesn't enjoy oral. His mouth is not going down there and he doesn't like the idea of someone else's mouth being down there either. It makes him unckmfortable and will be a no if/when asked.

Not into anything with the risk of someone seeing. The most he'd be willing to do is a small kiss when out in public (because no one would suspect him a deity, and he'd rather pretend to be a law abiding citizen) and around people in general. So while some others may be okay with public stuff, Icedagger DEFINITELY is not. Too embarrassing also his nephew may get on his case about it (annoying).

Temperatureplay is something he will do because of just how cold he often is. His hands are always pretty cold (well, all of him is pretty cold tbh) and you will feel that. He likes to mess with you because of it (both during and just in general he is a MENACE when it comes to randomly touching you in sensitive places to see you jump).

Really really really likes kissing. His lips WILL be on you one way or another. They probably won't always be on your own, but he's okay with kissing anywhere he can. Also enjoys when you kiss him!! Makes him feel fuzzy and warm inside.

Despite being a little shit, he will respect your boundaries. You don't want him to do this or that?? Alright, he won't!! And he's a lot nicer about it than you'd expect, even trying to help calm you down from maybe the anxiety of telling him no or trying to articulate the boundary. He's pretty good at that.

[the-piss-drawer]

I think the blog was taken off mature fyi 😭

It seems it was. Probably from inactivity (I'm writing I swear). I need to like. Permanently mark it mature tumblr keep it marked mature

Marking this mature simply so I can. Speed up the blog going back to mature. Like not even for anything just to mark it mature

[the-piss-drawer]

Queue made and added to pinned post

[the-piss-drawer]

THE QUEUE

Here, you can see a list of what to expect. Not all of them will be requests, sometimes I just want to write stuff and will put it here to keep myself on track to finish it. They may not always be completed in the order listed, but it's very likely they will be. Requests will be marked as requests.

Currently, certain things are going to take priority.

What's coming up?

Firebrand headcanons

Windforce headcanons

Ghostwalker headcanons

Illumina headcanons

[Request!] Subspace headcanons

[Request!] Hyperlaser headcanons

[the-piss-drawer]

Current big ish changes:

Made a main masterlist (can be broken up into different fandoms should it come down to it)

Added main masterlist to pinned post

Unmarked older posts as mature (whole blog is marked mature, no need to mark individual posts as mature anymore)

[the-piss-drawer]

Okay Masterlist

I'm. Sorting this by fandom actually. Just one big masterlist. If it ends up being too much to fit on one I'll make separate ones and link onto here I guess.

☆ -> reader insert/xreader

♡ -> canonxcanon/just canon characters

◇ -> oc x canon

Nsfw headcanons marked all three because while it's meant xreader, can be used for canonxcanon/ocxcanon stuff too. Still meant to be xreader BUT I can use them for other things too.

Phighting

☆♡◇ Venomshank nsfw headcanons

☆♡◇ Darkheart nsfw headcanons

☆♡◇ Icedagger nsfw headcanons

[the-piss-drawer]

Darkheart.

Fun fact!! When I wrote those Venomshank headcanons, I also wrote most of the Darkheart ones!! (I'm writing 10 for each deity, Darkheart has an extra one because I thought it was funny). But I ended up disagreeing with most of the ones I had before so I rewrote them. Darkheart was too loving in those headcanons...... he's a fucking asshole in the bedroom you can't convince me otherwise.

ALSO!! Since my blog has been marked mature. I will not be marking this post mature in the hopes it will automatically be marked as such. I will still be checking who interacts with this post too so minors shoo go away. But I'm hoping this test means it won't be visible to minors. Because when a blog is marked mature every post also gets marked mature and isn't normally visible to everyone. I will repost this if it is very visible and mark it mature.

~~~

A very frustrating individual to have sex with. Nothing will go as you may have tried to plan it to, and Darkheart will intentionally try to piss you off. He enjoys ruining the mood more than you may expect.

Unfortunately probably one of the most experienced of The Swords. How he has said experience with how he acts is beyond you but. He has it. And he'll probably joke about it too. "You aren't the first of your gear to be with us like this" kill this guy. At least he knows what he does and doesn't like.

Focuses more on himself than he will you. His pleasure comes first, yours just happens because of it. He'll let you know, too. He isn't going to sugarcoat that. If he's feeling especially mean, you don't get to finish. He won't help you to it and may actively prevent you from finishing yourself.

Very inconsistent. Sometimes he may praise you and what you're doing, other times he's telling you how bad of a job he thinks you're doing (simply to degrade you, he might tell you you're doing a horrible job trying to suck him off/eat him out but he'll be thoroughly enjoying himself even so). Sometimes he'll get straight to the point (he knows what he wants), other times it's running around in circles to get to the actual sex because he's being annoying.

Because he can shapeshift into peoples' shadows, he can also change the equipment he's got. Usually it's consistent in size shape feeling etc. (Can also have both or neither [or something in between]), but if he's feeling really annoying you'll get the comically long shlong you won't know what to do with. He's giggling as you stare at it in confusion by the way. There is great joy taken in your sex life suffering.

Prefers to be in a dominant position. "Prefers" he will not let you take a more dominant position to him. You can pry that from his cold dead hands. Oh wait. You can't kill him. Sorry.

Not much in the aftercare department. He'll just up and leave after he's done if given the chance. But say somehow someway you're his partner, right. Maybe he won't leave, but he's not helping you do anything. He's just. There. Sitting on the side of the bed or laying down (not sleeping). You have to get yourself up and clean yourself. If you're feeling like having a snack or getting some water, do it yourself.

To piss off any of his siblings (but especially Illumina), expect to be fucking in a place of worship for one of Darkheart's siblings at least once. You're asked if it's fine to do, but honestly your answer doesn't matter to him. If he's set on disrespecting one of his siblings, you're going to be used to disrespect them.

Game to experiment. Not vanilla in the slightest. Kinky as fuck. Literally anything goes unless he says he won't do it. Might push your boundaries but would never fully cross them. Will stop if you need him to but will be a little grouchy (still will stop).

He doesn't care where you guys go at it. Literally anywhere is fine with him. He doesn't care where or when, just that he's able to have you. Horny bitch.

Extra because it's funny: If you wanna give him head/eat him out, you gotta be the one to pull his pants down. He's not doing it for you (broken heart emoji here). And be warned he may have more than 1 pair— more than 2 pairs— more the 3 pairs— how many FUCKING PAIRS OF PANTS DOES HE HAVE ON.

[the-piss-drawer]

Looking in blog settings IT GOT MARKED AS MATURE I'M WINNINGGGGGGGGGGGG YAYYYYYYYYYY

[the-piss-drawer]

BLOG MARKED AS MATURE CELEBRATION TIME!!!!!

WHAT. IT GOT MARKED MATURE?? HOW DO I KNOW THIS FOR SURE HOW WHAT