the-really-confused-one

19, male, germany

[the-really-confused-one]

Du bist so nah, aber doch so fern für mich, du fehlst mir.. Ich könnte dich jeder Zeit anschreiben, will es auch, aber versuche es zu vermeiden..

[the-really-confused-one]

Why am I not as happy as I think I would be? I do not understand myself. My mood changes like every 5 or 10 minutes to the real opposite mood. Like I write a message to a really close person I smile, if she texts me back I smile but if I go outside or not doing anything, e.g. watching some youtube vines, my mood is just terrible and I am sad for no reason

[acoolsuggestion]

Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control it. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling

[acoolsuggestion]

Stop over analyzing and suffering

[acoolsuggestion]

feelings are dangerous

[acoolsuggestion]

i wanna talk about it but i really dont wanna talk about it

[acoolsuggestion]

honestly the best feeling ever is realizing you’re not sad anymore over something you thought you would never get over

[acoolsuggestion]

the struggle of being so emotional yet completely emotionless at the same time

[acoolsuggestion]

I wouldn’t mind napping for like a year or 7

[the-really-confused-one]

Leider habe ich nicht so viele Fotos von dir, ich bereue es schon seitdem du Leukämie hast. Ich habe zu dir gesagt, dass du wieder gesund wirst. Es tut mir so leid..

[the-really-confused-one]

Finn :’)

Heute ist meine Katze gestorben. Es war ekelhaft aus, wie sehr sie gelitten hat. Gestern Abend ging es ihr noch “gut”; Sie hat gefressen, getrunken, gekuschelt, geschnurrt. Sie hat noch am Familienleben teilgenommen. Verdammte Krankheit namens Leukämie.

Hätte ich heute keine 6 Std Schule, sondern wie regulär 8 Std., wäre sie allein gestorben, ohne jemanden an ihrer Seite.  Tschüss Finn, du warst eine wunderbare Katze, du wirst ewig in meinem Kopf bleiben, Klotzie/Finni-Spinni <3

[the-really-confused-one]

Hmm..

Feeling like an disgusting animal. Really far away from feeling like a human or anything similar. Heartbroken af. 

It’s like a void in your body is gnawing inside of you everything off. Feeling like nothing and you are forced to feeling down as hell. Just thinking in my bed for what reason i am here and what reason am I for anybody i know. The time passes by and it doesnt get better.

I dont really want to feel like this. I dont wish this feeling to any enemy i know. 

[el3gy]

I like spending time w people who visibly enjoy spending time w me too

[bewbin]

[the-really-confused-one]

x)

You are worth nothing. Really nothing. I want to get rid of you. We had a good time but for real get the fuck out or away from me. I didnt want this end and you should know that. Even if it is stupid it seems so that u wanted this ending and even an end. I dont hate you for this and i could say so many things that would ruin you but i wont. I keep them by myself cause i wont be this person. The one you once knew died with this ending. Well for you for sure, but maybe not for other i am able to help as I helped you. And btw "you're welcome/ dont worry/no problem" I was proud of you and a bit of me that i really helped you. But now CY@ forever.

[yourhaloisslipping]

When someone compliments you and you can't stop smiling like an idiot

[shortvideosandstuff]

[the-really-confused-one]

Worst day ever

This day was the worst day in such a long time. I wasnt able to move or to stand up or even hold a conversation. I was just in my bed. Thinking about life and realised my life is a mess. No.

I am a mess.

I am not worthy anything. Somebody kill me please.. I cant get rid of myself.

My family/friends or even “friends” would appreciate that if I die in my opinion.

I am bot worthy to life or to do anything.

Please..