you think you are possessing me

the-sacrificial-lamb:

Ben’s vision blurred and his head rocked unsteadily before dropping against Caius’ shoulder as he shuffled them both along. Somehow though, in spite of that and despite the blistering agony that was ripping more holes through his body at every step, he still felt better now that Caius was here. Safer. Warmer, regardless of the chill creeping into his fingers and toes.

Together.

Yes.. they were together now, so in a way - that meant things were alright, didn’t it? The blinding panic was gone. The fear that had been screaming in his head since he’d entered the arena had been quieted now, hushed to a whisper that was almost tranquil. Now it just sounded like Caius’ name.

They didn’t go far and he was so glad about that, because he could feel himself already drifting on the edge of unconsciousness. He felt the warmth of Caius’ leg beneath his head and smiled. He drank the water that was offered, some of it spilling out of the side of his mouth and running down his cheek into his hair. It felt damn good on his parched tongue.

He gazed up at Caius, cracked lips tugging into a smile that was a little bit lopsided. “Hey.. you just said I was beautiful. Make up your mind..” Ben’s fingers somehow found Caius’ fingers again and squeezed them a little. There wouldn’t be anything to do about the wound, but Ben didn’t have the cruelty in him to say so out loud, so he just nodded a little, very content to do nothing more right now than watch Caius’ face and let the comfort of him soothe away the rest of his fear.

Caius had done a good many hard things in his life, but this by far was the hardest. Ben was getting more and more pale by the second and the smell of blood was as thick as fog in the air.

“Alright, real careful now,” Caius said, an attempt at soothing the other as he gently tugged his shirt up, careful not to tug or pull on the wound of his shirt had set in it.

All at once the hope had sort of rushed out of Caius like a balloon losing air. The stab wound was deep, there was no way he could fix it himself. Time was not on their side. Nothing was on their side.

Nothing ever had been, though, had it?

“Alright, good job,” he said again as he pushed Ben’s shirt down and leaned back against the wall, running shaking fingers through familiar, dark hair. “I’m so fucking proud of you,” he said, trying as hard as he could to keep the emotion out of his voice. “You did so good. You always have done. From the minute I met you, you were always ten times stronger and more hard headed than me.”

He saw the heartbreak burst across Caius’ face and wished he had the strength to sit up and wrap his arms tight around him and just.. chase it all away, somehow. Find a way to cocoon them. He knew Caius would have to leave him here, and though Ben hoped it wouldn’t be until.. well, until after he himself was beyond caring, he knew he wouldn’t blame the man if he left before then. After all, Caius was still strong. There was no reason for him to stay here and put himself at risk just for Ben’s sake.

He’d come back to get him. That one truth reverberated around the inside of Ben’s mind in gentle tones, mystifying him. Against all reason and logic, Caius had defied Bellamy and come back for him. What would happen to him after this? Would he get sent to the basement? Turned into a slave? Ben wouldn’t wish that on anybody, but if he was honest with himself he knew Caius would be able to handle it. He’d always been the strong one. He could go on, and find other reasons to be happy. Hopefully he’d find someone to love him as much as Ben had.

“I love you,” he murmured tiredly, tempted to close his eyes but resisting, because he loved the sight above him. Again, the corner of his mouth tugged up just a little. “You made all of this so.. so worth it.” He blinked slow, never losing his smile even though tears were starting to fill his eyes. “And I’m just.. sorry.. I’m sorry I can’t stay..”

the-sacrificial-lamb:

Ben still couldn’t focus, and the ‘pat’ to his cheek that rocked his head to the side didn’t help. The way his vision was swimming was making his stomach sick; he’d probably retch soon. He groaned as Theo sat on him, bile building quickly in the back of his throat and almost immediately making it harder to breathe. “B-basement,” he choked out; it was the best explanation he could give. It wasn’t his fault Bellamy hadn’t just killed him. In some ways, Ben still wished that he had. But then he wouldn’t have had those happy weeks with Caius which made it all, in spite of everything, worth it.

“What.. what’re you.. do..”

“Basement hm?” Theo mused, sighing heavily. “See…I dont think that is good enough.” Theo stated with a dangerous purr, shifting himself so he was on his knees and straddling Ben’s chest. “What am I doing? Is that what you are asking?” Theo asked, reaching down and delicately holding Ben’s chin as he dragged the sharp edge of the glass down Ben’s cheek. A thin streak of blood blossomed behind the glass’s path. “….I am going to kill you slowly, Ben. And I am going to make anyone who remotely cared about you watch me do it.”

Ben’s brain was slowly righting itself (it felt like it had flopped around a fair bit inside his skull during the fall), and Theo’s face was starting to come into better focus. He struggled, not as strongly as he would have if he didn’t have the makings of a concussion maybe, but he still thought he just might be able to dislodge the smaller man. He didn’t have any mocking response to throw back in Theo’s face, like he would have in the old days. All Ben felt right now was panic and terror. The cut to his cheek didn’t even register; the pain of it was completely anesthetized by adrenaline.

the-sacrificial-lamb:

Chilled fingers sought out Caius’ hand in the dark and gripped them hard. He didn’t want the man running off again in his anger and leave him here alone, but fortunately Caius abandoned thoughts of revenge without urging, at least for now.

“Yeah.. Yeah, I think so,” he said shakily, using Caius’ arm to start hauling himself up. Up until Caius had appeared, Ben hadn’t thought he could move. He’d been sure he was going to die right here. And while the pain was so bad that he had to muffle his scream against Caius’ shoulder, at least he was upright now.

But then came the next problem: where could they go? There wasn’t anywhere safe in this place. Personally, Ben doubted that he’d even be able to get very far, but he would fucking try now that Caius was here. “Where.. hnn– where should we..,” he mumbled, grimacing in agony and forced to lean heavily on Caius’ side for support now that he was on his feet. “I- I’m not sure what’s around here.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Things were never supposed to just go right for them, were they? It was like the world knew they had just started to be happy, to work through the shit they had started with to create something real for themselves, and instead of helping them along had decided to send them a gut wound and a stupid, simulated war.

He moved to hold Ben up, not liking the way his face seemed to pale even more when he was right side up. They needed to get somewhere and fast. When Ben’s mouth hit his shoulder, Caius had to forcibly bite down on his own tongue to stop from crying out too, except he was trying to not burst into tears.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said as he started to very carefully usher Ben to the side of the room. “Just walk with me, okay? We’re gonna be okay. We’re together now, yeah? We’re gonna… we’re gonna be together now.”

When they were seated, Caius moved to lay Ben’s head in his lap as he cracked the lid to a water bottle he’d pulled out of the backpack he had slung over his shoulder before he left. He carefully tipped the bottle in the other’s direction as he pushed some messy, matted hair back from his face. “God you’re so beautiful,” he croaked. “I’m so fucking lucky.” A pause before. “Do you think you can let me look at that wound? I want to see if I can do anything about it, stop the flow of blood or maybe the pain. This pale look isn’t great on you, Sharpe.”

Ben’s vision blurred and his head rocked unsteadily before dropping against Caius’ shoulder as he shuffled them both along. Somehow though, in spite of that and despite the blistering agony that was ripping more holes through his body at every step, he still felt better now that Caius was here. Safer. Warmer, regardless of the chill creeping into his fingers and toes.

Together.

Yes.. they were together now, so in a way - that meant things were alright, didn’t it? The blinding panic was gone. The fear that had been screaming in his head since he’d entered the arena had been quieted now, hushed to a whisper that was almost tranquil. Now it just sounded like Caius’ name.

They didn’t go far and he was so glad about that, because he could feel himself already drifting on the edge of unconsciousness. He felt the warmth of Caius’ leg beneath his head and smiled. He drank the water that was offered, some of it spilling out of the side of his mouth and running down his cheek into his hair. It felt damn good on his parched tongue.

He gazed up at Caius, cracked lips tugging into a smile that was a little bit lopsided. “Hey.. you just said I was beautiful. Make up your mind..” Ben’s fingers somehow found Caius’ fingers again and squeezed them a little. There wouldn’t be anything to do about the wound, but Ben didn’t have the cruelty in him to say so out loud, so he just nodded a little, very content to do nothing more right now than watch Caius’ face and let the comfort of him soothe away the rest of his fear.

#{ inferno }#{ about ben }#i crY

@the-sacrificial-lamb

#jesus becca #fuck you #{ inferno }#event: saturnalia #fuck you so much #fUCK EVERYTHING #FUCK

“Teach me how to say goodbye.”

@the-sacrificial-lamb

Chilled fingers sought out Caius' hand in the dark and gripped them hard. He didn't want the man running off again in his anger and leave him here alone, but fortunately Caius abandoned thoughts of revenge without urging, at least for now.

"Yeah.. Yeah, I think so," he said shakily, using Caius' arm to start hauling himself up. Up until Caius had appeared, Ben hadn't thought he could move. He'd been sure he was going to die right here. And while the pain was so bad that he had to muffle his scream against Caius' shoulder, at least he was upright now.

But then came the next problem: where could they go? There wasn't anywhere safe in this place. Personally, Ben doubted that he'd even be able to get very far, but he would fucking try now that Caius was here. "Where.. hnn-- where should we..," he mumbled, grimacing in agony and forced to lean heavily on Caius' side for support now that he was on his feet. "I- I'm not sure what's around here."

#{ out of time }#{ self }

The second it was going around that Bellamy was letting associates in, he knew exactly what he had to do. He had enough of a reputation as someone who had a thirst for chaos it wasn’t too hard to convince the people at the sign up desk that he was good for the job.

Sure, there had been warnings. Sure, he knew if he was caught helping, he’d be demoted or killed. But he also knew that little bug eyed fucker had attacked his boy, HIS boy, and had royally fucked him up.

There were rumors that Nico was back too. But that was just not something he could think about for now.

In the time between signing up to go inside and actually making it in, the image inside of the culling was nothing like it had been on TV. He had lost Ben’s location entirely and his phone was dead, so he was forced to wander. It was a while before he had run into the guy, but when he did his heart seemed to stop.

“Baby get up,” he said as he moved to scoop Ben off of the floor. “C'mon, we gotta hide.”

@the-sacrificial-lamb

Ben barely knew where he was. The floor still seemed to be rocking underneath him, making it impossible for him to get his bearings. He had no idea how long it had been since he’d moved.

With his cheek pressed numbly against the floor, he felt the vibrations of footsteps and started to open his eyes, only to shut them again when nausea overwhelmed him. Terrible pain was still throbbing through his body, radiating up from behind where his arms were clenched over his stomach. Where Theo had sank his improvised glass dagger.

Then he heard Caius’ voice and gasped-- CAIUS-- WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING IN HERE!?-- but the next second he was letting out an agonized cry and cringing away from the man’s touch. “N-no! Don’t!”

He took a few seconds to breathe, letting the pain recede a little, and shifted his head to squint up at the man’s face, an anguished look on his sickly pale face. “Caius.. Jesus, baby, w-what’re you doing here?”

jfc-its-felix

the-sacrificial-lamb:

He wasn’t going to be an idiot. Ben took a slow step back, dropping his hands. He could only be so disappointed; it just seemed inevitable that Caius’ supply pack would get stolen. Given how literally out-gunned he was right now, he knew he should be thanking God that he was going to come out of this encounter still breathing. All he could do was stand back and watch the pack be taken, his feeble hopes for survival disappearing with it.

“Good boy,” Felix drawled, condescending.

Picking up the pack, he glanced down into it – he couldn’t see everything in it just yet, not without unpacking it, but he could see a bit of the top. At his shelter, between him and the people there, he’d amassed enough food for all of them to survive a week, easy, but there was no such thing as too many supplies.

Still, he took a bottle of water from the top, and tossed it to Ben. “Have a treat,” he said lightly. Killing Ben would be easy, and that shit was what Bellamy wanted. No, Felix would much rather not kill if he didn’t have to, and annoy Bellamy. “You might wanna find someone to partner up with, man.” And with that, he strode away, tossing off a salute.

Great. How kind.

Ben flinched away instinctively from the bottle flying in his direction, but once it had hit the floor he quickly went to retrieve it, moving along the edge of the wall like a dog afraid of being kicked. Gripping it, he straightened up in time to see the other asset heading off away from him. “Thanks,” he breathed, probably too low to be heard, in answer to the advice and for the bottle he was now stowing in a back pocket. So much for Caius’ gift.

#ghostwithnoname

goodboy-theo:

Theo smiled. “That’s right!” Theo patted the other’s cheek roughly. “Now! Here is the funny thing….” The moved to sit on the other’s stomach, uncaring to how uncomfortable it made the other. “I have been telling everyone that you are dead….cause you know, when people see my scar they of course ask where I got it.” Theo motioned to his chest before continuing. “Bellamy made it sound like he took care of you….and usually that means he killed you.” Theo frowned. “…and here you are. Alive.”

Ben still couldn’t focus, and the ‘pat’ to his cheek that rocked his head to the side didn’t help. The way his vision was swimming was making his stomach sick; he’d probably retch soon. He groaned as Theo sat on him, bile building quickly in the back of his throat and almost immediately making it harder to breathe. “B-basement,” he choked out; it was the best explanation he could give. It wasn’t his fault Bellamy hadn’t just killed him. In some ways, Ben still wished that he had. But then he wouldn’t have had those happy weeks with Caius which made it all, in spite of everything, worth it.

“What.. what’re you.. do..”

the-sacrificial-lamb:

Ben remained unconscious as he was dragged, and even after they stopped he didn’t move for at least a quarter of an hour. There was no blood on his face except for where little had dried on his upper lip from the blow to his nose, but there was a dark, dangerous bruise blooming on the side of his forehead.

Eventually he stirred, giving a low groan. He began to shift around, nausea overwhelming every other thought and feeling. Lying on his back, he tried to focus on the six lights that seemed to be careening in circles overhead, not understanding that he was really just looking at one lonely bulb.

It had taken a while but Theo found some broken glass. More like he had broken some bottles he had found to make the shattered, sharp glass daggers, but it would be enough. The boy paced like a jungle cat around Ben as he waited, the small associate smirking when the other shifted.

“Bout damn time.” Theo snarled, walking over to loom over the other. He smiled broadly, but his eyes danced dangerously. “You remember me, I am sure.”

Theo’s face was kind of swimming into view, but at the same time not really. At least, Ben was reasonably sure that there was a face above him, especially when it began to talk. His ears seemed to be stuffed with cotton though, and some of the first words weren’t distinguishable.

“Th.. Theo,” he mumbled vaguely, voice garbled. He was still trying to focus his eyes.

the-sacrificial-lamb:

Ben’s nails were scrabbling against the floor as he desperately tried to crawl away, but the fall had knocked the wind from his lungs and everything was darker than it ought to be. Theo slammed into his back and a yell squeezed out of Ben’s throat. He twisted, but couldn’t throw him off.

Individual hairs tore from his scalp beneath the ruthless grip and then– then pain burst behind his eyes. Something crunched in his ears, or maybe it was inside his head, and his already darkened vision now went entirely black. He slumped to the floor, completely motionless.

Theo held the other’s head down, snarling as he did just in case the other tried fighting. But his body sagged and the fight left after that head strike. Theo doubted that he had killed Ben…he wasnt that strong. Knocked out most likely….good. Theo pulled off his pelt and quickly bound the other’s hands, patting him down for any weapons. Nothing. damn it.

The associate glanced around, dragging Ben’s body with him down the empty room to the center and away from everything. Theo made himself busy looking through the room, for anything he could use to hurt Ben. To maim him. To torture him. Ben….was dying the slow death he fucking deserved even if Theo died doing it.

Ben remained unconscious as he was dragged, and even after they stopped he didn’t move for at least a quarter of an hour. There was no blood on his face except for where little had dried on his upper lip from the blow to his nose, but there was a dark, dangerous bruise blooming on the side of his forehead.

Eventually he stirred, giving a low groan. He began to shift around, nausea overwhelming every other thought and feeling. Lying on his back, he tried to focus on the six lights that seemed to be careening in circles overhead, not understanding that he was really just looking at one lonely bulb.

ghost-with-no-name:

“Nope,” Felix said pleasantly. “You back off, let me have it, and I’ll be real nice and not shoot you.”

He almost felt sorry for the other asset. The guy was clearly scared, and Felix could sympathize a little bit. Unfortunately, he was already using all of his allotted monthly sympathy on a rag-tag group of other people he was trying to keep alive. It didn’t leave much room for anybody else.

Felix didn’t even bother to show the courtesy of walking slowly and carefully toward the pack – he just approached, striding, aim unwavering as he got closer. “Don’t be an idiot,” he warned.

He wasn’t going to be an idiot. Ben took a slow step back, dropping his hands. He could only be so disappointed; it just seemed inevitable that Caius’ supply pack would get stolen. Given how literally out-gunned he was right now, he knew he should be thanking God that he was going to come out of this encounter still breathing. All he could do was stand back and watch the pack be taken, his feeble hopes for survival disappearing with it.

#ghostwithnoname

the-sacrificial-lamb:

FUCK. FUCK.

Ben stumbled around the next corner, wheezing hard as he fought to breathe. No. He wouldn’t disengage now. He’d stay aware until– until he couldn’t anymore. Until he was caught. Then he’d let it happen, so he wouldn’t have to be there with Theo took his revenge.

Without warning, he hit a fishing line tripwire someone had strung across the hallway. He flew forward six feet and crashed to the floor on his face.

Theo refused to back down as he scrambled after Ben, refusing to let the other get away. The corners of Theo’s vision tinged red, his teeth grinding against each other as he grew closer and closer to Ben as he started slowing down. Those trainings he had taken up were paying off for the dirty blond haired boy.

The associate saw the other go down, allowing Theo to be mindful of the wire. Theo lunged and landed on the other’s back, fisting a handful of Ben’s hair and yanking his head up only to throw it back down as hard as he could into the concrete ground with a roar.

Ben’s nails were scrabbling against the floor as he desperately tried to crawl away, but the fall had knocked the wind from his lungs and everything was darker than it ought to be. Theo slammed into his back and a yell squeezed out of Ben’s throat. He twisted, but couldn’t throw him off.

Individual hairs tore from his scalp beneath the ruthless grip and then-- then pain burst behind his eyes. Something crunched in his ears, or maybe it was inside his head, and his already darkened vision now went entirely black. He slumped to the floor, completely motionless.

SOS ⚠ Caius

caius--elsaeid:

“We were dicks,” he said as he continued to watch the monitor, trying with all of his might not to press his hand against the screen. “We still are. It’s how we cope. Hey, when you get out of there, the first place we’re going is to the humane society. Think about what kind of dog you want. Or cat, or whatever. That’s what we’re gonna do.”

He was freaking out internally, but couldn’t let that bit show. He needed to hold it together for Ben. “Do me a favor, Ben, take another deep breath and try to listen for me. I’m sending you a package with weapons, it should drop outside of your door soon. I need you to kill whoever you have to. I don’t care who. No one touches you, do you understand?”

A fresh wave of tears blurred Ben’s eyes and he clutched at the phone, smiling weakly in spite of everything around him, the horror of his situation. “We’re getting a dog?” The tears squeezed through his lashes and poured down his face, washing his cheeks so that they shined. “I haven’t had a dog in years.”

Caius’ voice was so calm. He was doing a remarkable job of keeping it together. It must be hell inside his head right now. The gratitude Ben felt was overwhelming. He let out a dubious laugh at the order to kill, and his continued tears gave it a wet sound. Fuck Caius for believing in him this much, even when they both knew damn well it was completely in vain. “Can you send me a Navy Seal?”