Roselle Exam 20 Report
Alexander Smythe and Mason Hummel
May 3rd 2015
Despite the unorthodox nature of the exam and the stress it placed on both myself and Alexander at the time, I think that with time to reflect on the situation it has provided an interesting perspective on our relationship and tested our trust in one another. We are both strong-willed and can clash at times - as we did on the day, though it was resolved quickly - but at the end of the day Alexander has my utmost respect as a Dominant and I know that I can trust him to have my best interests in mind without endangering himself. After discussing what we took from the exam as individuals, we came to agree on the three most important aspects.
This is the one point that is always stressed, and I know now more than ever that itās with good reason; trust is essential for a relationship to be successful on any level, especially when you bring a D/s dynamic into the picture. I think itās unreasonable to expect any two people to always see eye to eye, but whatās more important is the ability to overcome that and work together. I myself am rather selective in who I submit to outside of exams, so my choosing to partner with Alexander alone should show my trust in his capabilities to a degree, but thereās also the fact that he isnāt afraid to be persistent with me and assert himself as a Dominant in situations where he believes itās appropriate - something that makes me respect him all the more and know when to submit in the most literal sense of the word.
Itās always easier to dominante someone when youāre in the same room as them. You can give clear orders and watch as they are carried out; giving you the chance to correct anything that isnāt being done to specifics. In this exam, I gave Mason orders and separated from him. I was concerned we were being followed and wanted to take him as far from the situation as I could. Mason does ahave a stubborn streak and he wasnāt entirely keen on my being the one to distract who we now know were actors, but as he showed trust in me to guide him, I trusted him to follow the orders I had given him. What we did would not have worked if we didnāt have that trust in one another.
I feel like comfort can sometimes be overlooked when it comes to key criteria for a successful D/s relationship, but in my mind itās intimately linked with trust - to be comfortable with someone and your relationship with them is to allow boundaries to be tested and expanded, and to know that even when things go wrong you have someone there to support you. Had we been paired up randomly for this exam as with the others this would more than likely been an issue for me, but having Alexander there both in the heat of the moment and afterwards when my anxiety began to flare up was a great help; again, I knew I could trust him to keep me safe, and he knows me well enough by now that I could take the time to process what had happened without worrying about the possibility of sub drop or not getting the kind of aftercare I needed.
Although I am submissive partner in our relationship there is a definite balance in terms of us wanting to protect one another, so itās also important to me that Alexander has the same level of security that I do and isnāt afraid to ask for what he needs, knowing that Iāll do my best to give it to him - which, linking back to my first point, will hopefully continue to strengthen our trust.
Comfort and care; I think these were two of the most important factors in this exam for both my submissive and I. Mason has submitted to me me often enough outside of exams and I know him well enough to know his tell; when things are starting to overwhelm him. I am also fortunate enough to know what comforts him. In the last leg of our journey to the museum, I didnāt give Mason much time to think about what had happened. I knew he was more shaken up than he would care to admit at first and I also recognised we had a job to do. I evaluated the situation and decided our best course of action was to keep his mind busy. I gave him specific orders to place a call to the police; to report what had happened, to the museum; to assure them we were on route, and to a car service; to arrange our transport home. More than anything, I knew he wouldnāt be comfortable driving back and I knew he craved physical closeness and the car service allowed that. I know Mason is almost as protective of me as I am of him and part of caring for him is allowing him to know Iām okay. Care and comfort for us works in a cycle; as I comfort him I cmfort myself by knowing heās okay and as he submits, allowing me to comfort him, he takes comfort in every reassurance that Iām okay.
Even outside of an exam situation, teamwork is another important aspect of relationships regardless of dynamic; compatibility as individuals is one thing, but being able to come together to work through problems whilst still respecting one another is even more important.
When we initially realized that we were being followed and pulled into a gas station we didnāt know if we would be approached while we were still in the car, which added the pressure of time to our decision-making, but when one of us - I believe it was Alexander, but I canāt be entirely sure - came up with the idea of the two of us splitting up we managed to pull together a cohesive plan between us. I expressed some reluctance to have Alexander climbing out of a window and potentially injuring himself at first, but backed down when he made it clear that my job as his submissive was to trust his decision, so from there it was simply a matter of keeping calm and following through with the plan as precisely as we could, though we were still pursued for several miles before the stuntmen gave up.
For me, the relationship between a Dominant and a submissive can best be described as a partnership. Itās not a relationship that works well without each party putting their best foot forward and making every effort in their role. As a Dominant, I need to be abe to rely on my submissive to follow through on orders even if Iām not there to obseve, and my submissive needs to be able to rely on me to make decisions to srve our best interest. In this exam, when it came down to the wire, Mason looked to me and readily accepted his role in our partnership.
I will admit that my stubbornness and protective instincts can negatively impact on my relationship with Alexander at times, but with his help I know itās something I can work on in order to be a better submissive and hopefully learn that I canāt always protect those I care about, as much as Iād like to.
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