[the-third-bard]

My name is Fish, he/him

My main blog: @the-third-fish

My misc fandom blog: @the-third-buck

Sonic sideblog: @the-third-echidna

[book posting hiatus]

I'll probably never get back to book posting cus more popular blogs are doing that now so :/

I'm liveblogging the books on this blog, so filter the tag "fish narrates the witcher books" to avoid that if you want to

If you've only read some books and wanna avoid posts from specific books, i tag all posts with "book: [NAME OF BOOK]"

Complete short story summaries are tagged "story summary" and "story summary: [NAME]" (discontinued due to lack of reader interest but the early ones can still be found under these tags)

If you don't wanna see the Yucky stuff from the books but do wanna see other stuff, filter the tag "vibes: bad"! I talk about it sometimes and i don't wanna make anyone uncomfortable

The good stuff is tagged "vibes: good"

[goodman-grace]

Geralt's a fake ass homosexual if I had Joey Batey trailing after me for 20 years singing ballads about how amazing I was and tenderly stitching up my wounds after I got my ass kicked and gently washing my hair and was so devoted to me that everyone called him my bard I would've fucked him so hard that his vertebrae would be shooting out of his mouth like a pez dispenser but maybe that's just me.

[andorology]

brooding men who cannot communicate their feelings if their life depended on it are only hot when they're fictional. if i have to deal with one in real life i will curse him and pray for his downfall every night before i go to bed

[kestrel-tree]

It's because the writer communicates their feelings for them. If people wanna pull that off in real life they need to hire a guy to walk around behind them narrating.

[bananonbinary]

#can i be the guy#ill narrate SO incorrectly#theyll all learn how to talk for themselves just to shut me up (via @cirrus-grey)

i'm loving the implication that this isn't something they hired you for, but something you'd do as some sort of public service.

[ahedderick]

[tielmamon]

Geralt pulling out the big guns when he was still apologizing to Jaskier 💦

[space-glasgow]

the sandpiper

[old-deerstalker-hat]

[endiness]

[endiness]

Hemsworth likens his first days on season 4 to "changing school halfway through the year." But from Batey’s perspective, "The chemistry between us was immediate."

[queenklu]

Hey so listen. I’ve only played Witcher 3 and watched the Witcher show, I know the canon is that Geralt just keeps getting brown horses and calling them all Roach BUT

it would be REALLY, REALLY FUNNY….if Roach has been the same horse for like…..fifty years…..and Geralt doesn’t notice his horse is magic, because how long do horses live? 100? This is Fine. Horses, he’s found, are surprisingly sturdy. One time a catastrophic storm sank Geralt’s ship and drowned literally everyone on board but Roach was found chilling on shore, a-okay. 

Jaskier: So I didn’t want to bring this up at first, because I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t cool with your magic horse–

Geralt: My What. 

[queenklu]

Jaskier: –like how did you tame it? Did you raise it from an egg or something? It seems like most magic horses eat people–or, sorry, do you taste bad as a Witcher? Roach has never tried to take a nibble out of me–

Geralt: Jaskier. This is a normal horse.

Jaskier, who has seen this horse appear on rooftops, in the middle of lava fields, refusing to swim but two seconds later showing up on the other side of a lake, and one time doing this for half an hour:

Jaskier: What Do You Mean

[cipheramnesia]

Jaskier, a completely ordinary human person who has managed to not age a single year throughout Geralt’s multi-century life and Roach, a completely ordinary brown horse who has managed to not age a single year throughout Geralt’s multi-century life just look back and forth at each other like “bitch, I won’t bring it up if you don’t” and that’s the end of it.

[artistsfuneral]

Husband Jaskier would be so funny tho. Because he's such a petty bastard. And whenever he'd be fighting with one of his Witchers he'd totally wake up in the middle of the night, walk to the grand piano that was brought to Kaer Morhen just for him and he'd play for hours. Waking up every single Witcher in the keep and then keeping them up, by playing loudly and aggressively.

[artistsfuneral]

@lucigoo @seanofbeankeep You two should kiss.

[rosario-art]

[kaciart]

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Patreon | Ko-Fi

[timetraveladdict]

Source: IG

[thedemonofcat]

As a baby, Prince Julian Pankratz of Lettenhove was cursed to prick his finger and fall into a death-like sleep on his eighteenth birthday.

Sure enough, when Julian turned eighteen, the next thing he knew, he was waking up in a ruined castle—with a white-haired man standing over him.

That’s how Julian learns he’s been asleep for five hundred years, his kingdom of Lettenhove no longer exists, and the white-haired man is a witcher named Geralt. With no throne to return to, Julian decides to embrace the future and pursue what he’s always wanted: the life of a bard. He even picks out a new name for himself—Jaskier.

Meanwhile, Geralt has mixed feelings about his new tagalong, a five-hundred-eighteen-year-old former prince turned bard. Mostly because he’s still coming to terms with the fact that he woke Jaskier up with a true love’s kiss… and has no idea how to tell him.

[bittersweet-mojo]

yeah happy valentines- dude can you tell your boyfriend to stop looking at me

[iskisaggie]

Needy Geralt, I repeat NEEDY GERALT 🗣️

[Do NOT repost, thanks] INSTAGRAM - BLUESKY

[gender-trash]

while im talking bad fanfic lubes: rosin is only used with bowed string instruments, not plucked ones! it goes on the bow hairs to make them grip the strings better! most importantly, it comes in a SOLID CAKE and is STICKY. it's literally the opposite of lube. and jaskier thewitcher wouldn't be carrying it around anyway, because he plays THE LUTE

[oswinstark]

Sometimes I see posts on this site and I wonder what inspired them and other times I decide I probably really don’t actually want to know

[some-stars]

every time i see someone complaining about the concept of rosin as lube, i think about the katie forsythe sherlock holmes fic where they almost accidentally use spirit gum, and my spirits are lifted