Dark Light (Mary/Rose/Rosemary)

Just your morbid writer here (they/it, feminine and neutral terms)

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Here it is

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Can't promise it's the best opening but it should set the plot in a way.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Just Rambling

So I have been trying to get some things done, but since we had a visit from a small part of the family from England, I couldn't really do much. I do have a new iPad coming in a few days. We don't know when, since we ordered it over the weekend, but it should be a few days max.

I do plan on getting Procreate, which is why we ordered the new iPad, we being me and the woman I refuse to call mother. But aside from that, I do wanna try making something to sell later, to gain some extra income before and during a possible future job. It will take a bit to figure out what people would like, but I think it could work. Just need that extra help from the England side of the family to know exactly what to do.

I know I haven't shown my art that much, and I truly cannot promise much with the possible art selling, since I doubt I could do commissions that would require payment from the client. I need some motivation first, I suppose. I don't want to start a commission, only to not finish it, you know?

Also, writing is a bit of a back-and-forth process with inspiration. So that will really take a lot of determination to finish something. I just hope to finish at least one story next year. I also hope that Procreate can help me get more motivated, maybe the brushes could help my inspiration (I just hope I can learn the program quick too, don't want to get frustrated with it).

But yeah, Christmas was something, more stressful than anything to be honest. But it's over now. I should go back to babysitting the kiddos, they have been playing while I wrote this, so gotta keep an eye on them. The woman I live with is doing another job, so I am keeping an eye on the kiddos before she comes back.

Gotta help clean up something now, so see ya. - Rm

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

It's Been a While

Not sure what to really say, been mostly just living and writing other stories. I do wanna try and remake Mortal Heir, but it can get hard when you get hyperfixated on other things, like other fandoms or games.

Been writing a long draft for this one fandom, which I wanna keep a secret for some reason, paranoia has been pretty bad, I guess. My sleep schedule suffered thanks to wanting to write. Managed to somewhat stay awake today, though, so it should be fine now.

I guess I will start treating this kinda like a journal of some kind again, better than posting updates every few darn months.

So, not sure if this is something that my followers remember, but I am still a practicing modern witchcraft, from time to time is the thing. I don't practice as often as I should. Maybe it's my depression (that also could be major depression). Haven't done any spells or rituals that would help my mental health, maybe I should make the first witch drink I ever made so far after this.

Not sure what else to really say, just waiting for Christmas to come by again, can't believe that I will be 22 next year. Still feel like I'm 16 max 18.

My cat, Sherry, is still with me, and has been pretty clingy with me for a while now. Not sure why it started, but I don't mind it most of the time. Sometimes I need to focus on my hobby, which is now mostly writing, drawing has become kind of hard lately, but I have a journal where I sketch out things that happen either around me or in my system.

I'm not sure I mentioned this before, but I have something called OSDD, Other Specified Dissociative Disorder. I specifically have OSDD-b1, I have headmates but no amnesia. It's weird talking about it, but I guess it gives a better insight into my world really. I have many headmates, most of the NPCs, aka those that just exist to fill in space, and are always part of some things I have seen in the past, like movies, games, etc. We have our own roles we made up, kinda a ranking system in a way, since we don't wanna search through all the coined roles for headmates, and my system has its own "lore," I guess you can say. It is a world with its own rules.

I don't wanna get into details, it's personal, and I don't think I am ready for this kind of step yet. Fame isn't something I truly want, I only thought that writing books could solve my job problem. Can't and haven't been able to hold down jobs at all, I thought, why not try writing a book?

The problem is that I cannot put it like we do on the internet, chapter by chapter. With a book, you have to write the whole thing, get it checked, edited, made sure it has a good start, all that stuff. So I guess that scared me away from continuing Mortal Heir and deciding to restart it twice during my time here.

Writing stories is hard really, especially when you have so many ideas for other stories, or have strong ADHD, even if my ADHD isn't the hyperactive kind. Turns out that ADD is no longer a valid diagnosis, from what I found.

So, expect this, it will be very hard for me to write something for Mortal Heir. But maybe next year, once I find a part-time job, get back into drawing, and just feel more stable in general. So yeah, this will in fact be a long journey.

Maybe if I will be comfortable with sharing stories from my system, as well as my headmates being comfortable with it, then I suppose I will be writing more often here. But again, depends on what my headmates will say about it, since not everyone believes such a disorder exists, sadly. One is watching me write this now, too.

Again, will see how I will handle the future as well as the possibility of maybe having a bit of fame. I don't expect myself to be someone that everyone will know all over the world. I wouldn't be able to handle that.

So yeah, let's see this new start through. - Rm.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

I'm Alive

Still here and kicking. Just working on other projects, don't worry, my ideas for the main plot and side plots of Mortal Heir are not gone from my mind, maybe little details but still.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Another Update

I'm alive and well, just my stupid mental health getting in the way of writing, I do wanna finish the story one day really.

And we are getting close to 200 people there. I am really happy that people will at least check out the first chapter.

I decided to try and work on my plausible book while I am away from digital writing on the internet. Again, not saying that I will stop writing Mortal Heir, I wanna finish it. - Rm.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Surprise, another update

That break took longer than I expected, I seriously had to kind of push myself to write chapter 15 as well as fix a little mistake here and there. But aside from that, I hope you guys are going to have a happy and a good year.

And I am kind of trying to write kinda two stories, one being a possible book for the future, not sure if I had mentioned it. The book will be staying a secret for now, while I try to go back to the old fandoms I used to be in and try to revive my inspiration for drawing and writing for Mortal Heir. Just hoping that I will feel better soon wheeze. - Rm.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Update

Will take a small break from Mortal Heir, trying to draw more and focus on other stories that I have ideas for.

So yeah, once I will feel more confident in writing chapter 15, will do it as soon as possible. - Rm

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Can we just agree that us artists are always gonna be either sad and miserable while drawing the most happiest drawing in existence, or be the happy-go-lucky only to draw the most depressing shit?

But then you have those that are both types.

We are just evolving at this point (aka me).

I wonder what the next evolution will be. - Rm

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

100

So I checked my story and oh boy, 100 hits. 100 people at least checked out the description or the first chapter.

I am honestly amazed, so I just wanna say a quick thank you for at least checking it out for that one chapter, it still means a lot to me. Also, a little shout-out to the two people who gave it kudos. It really makes me want to write more and maybe try showing off my book idea some more, outside of the Warrior Cats story that I am working on behind the scenes, the one I talked about in my CharacterHub bio if you saw that.

But yes, I do want to try it in the book world, not just internet stories. It looks like a huge jump, and believe me, it very much is, but I am thinking about writing it as an internet story first and see if it could be turned into a book. It's kind of like Silent Hill, which makes me nervous that I could get into trouble, so I am trying to make it as original as possible, even if I did my research.

But yeah, thank you for the 100 hits on my story. - Rm.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Update

So uh.. I'm on CharacterHub now if you guys are interested.. :>

You don't have to but if you wanna know some other OCs and sonas I have, you can check it out to see their information, as well read about a little project I'm doing on the sidelines even if it's not really talked about that much..

But yeah, for anyone interested, here's the link.

tiredcathexer

See more about tiredcathexer on CharacterHub!

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Update plus a little gift for ya'll

So I am kinda surprised.

37 people at least viewed my story on AO3 and someone gave it kudos.

This actually made my night, I am so happy that you guys are enjoying my story. So as a little thank you, here you have a little sheet for Brendan aka Sneeg on how he looks in the story.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Update on me

Terribly sick for the past few days and I got a job not too long ago, plus depression liking me a bit too much, yay.

So yeah, been trying to get rid of the stress enough to write, but this month was just me on silence, but now, I am trying to write at least some progress.

I have also been working on some personal stuff to try and get rid of the stress and anxiety, mainly journaling rather than drawing.

Will see you once the new chapter is finished and posted, if I won't feel too sluggish and dizzy.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Hyperfixation sometimes sucks lol.

Working on another project in the background and it became my slight hyperfixation, but hey, sometimes you need a break from your main project.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Update

So I will keep the introduction drawings away for a while since drawing after every time I finish a chapter became less fun and made me itch for more writing.

I'm not saying I won't do them anymore. I have a very unfinished sketch for chapter four, so it's gonna be happening at a slower rate and maybe even have multiple chapter introductions in one post.

Now, excuse me while I recheck chapter four and post it later while sketching some specific animals for an RP my friends and I are having.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Need a tiny break

So chapter four changed again because I realized that one plot would need to be put further back. And chapter four deals with a heavy subject, so I need a bit of time to recover from that. It doesn't happen in front of the reader, but the reader will see the aftermath and what should be done, in my opinion.

So yeah, see you in probably a week.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Finally.

Here we have the most frustrating one I had to deal with. Changed the chapter like twice just to get any drawing ideas so I had to move the ideas for the chapter three to chapter four and change them up a bit wheeze.

Yes, there is a symbolism with the I hope to be seen as carnation. As well as the placement of it has one.

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Got impatient

So I am resisting writing another darn chapter since I haven't written for ages really, so I had to restrict myself from writing more chapters.

The whole chapter is from Sam's POV. And this drawing kinda shows how much I have listened to this one song, One Hundred Sleepless Nights, and it inspired this idea that I might either use or save for an AU, of an AU.. If that makes sense.