The Obsidian Warmonger

The Obsidian Warmonger is a lone Irken tanker with a large crew. They're on a mission to an unexplored planet, to do a sweep of the terrain and dub it worthy for conquering or not. A simple mission, almost too easy. [Here's a blog with an actual storyline... And definitely not one you may expect. There are 8 members of the crew, and you'll get to meet every one of them soon. Be prepared for twists... This blog is not for the faint of heart. On the Warmonger, it's life and death. Have fun! :) ~Mod Jasper/ former Atari]

[the-warmonger-crew]

Axel, what did you see exploring the place?

"Well... I was only called in once from my post outside... The Commander found something and called me in to take a look.."

"I don't think I'll ever forget what I saw, either..."

"They stretched down the entire hallway... Just Paks. Only paks.. No bodies, no remnants.. But there were hundreds of paks. It was like a dumping ground... They were hundreds of years old, too, and were completely drained of memory.. I couldn't identify who they came from, or what happened to them..."

[the-warmonger-crew]

[The crew has split up. The two hour mark is up. Kol has found something.]

"What the hell's all this? Some kinda nest?"

"Looks pretty dead to me. But it sure explains what fucked this place over."

"I'll log it for later. No survivors here, though."

[Commander Vex speaks up over comms.]

"Kol! Report back, you're late! You have ten minutes before we head back to the pod, soldier. Move it!"

"A- Alright alright, I'm coming!"

[Kol heads back to the exit, and the team goes back to the pod. Lyme and Axel step on first, followed by Vex and Kol.]

"Kol, you aren't looking too good. The walk drain you, soldier?"

"No, no I'm fine, just leave me alone, I'm fine."

"Hm... Your tone says otherwise. Axel will see you to the medbay when we board the Warmonger again."

"I said I'm-"

"That's an order. Sit down."

[Kol, reluctantly, obliges. The pod returns to the Warmonger, and they leave the planet behind.]

[Commander Vex, Axel, Kol and Lyme are available for asks.]

[the-warmonger-crew]

[The crew follows Commander Vex, who holds the tracker, for a couple hours before finally coming across the source of the signal--]

"This... This is an Irken colony."

"Yes, it would appear so, Lyme..."

"What do we do? It looks like it's been here for decades."

"There could still be survivors, so we head in- Kol, don't stray far- and we search the area for any signs of life. Axel, remain outside, and hold lookout. Lyme, Kol, come with me."

"The door isn't functional-"

"Stand back a moment."

"?!"

"No worries, Lyme. Nothing as simple as a broken door has ever stopped me before."

[Commander Vex shuts away the tracker and brings out a flashlight instead.]

"... This place is destroyed, Commander."

"Have you ever seen claw marks like these before, Lyme?"

"No, never, sir. But they were definitely made by a creature. No weapon could do that."

"Split up, but be careful. Report back here in two hours. Whenever I contact you through comms, reply, understood? It will be frequent, but answer every time."

"Understood."

"Gotcha."

"Good luck."

[the-warmonger-crew]

[A voice interrupts on comms.]

"Commander! We have a situation!"

"Wren? What is it?"

"We have eyes on the destination, but... You're going to want to see this, sir."

"We'll be right up."

[Commander Vex leaves first, followed by Lyme. They head up to the control room, where Vex joins Wren, who's seated in the pilot's chair.]

"There's something on the surface, sir. We're picking up a faint S.O.S. beacon from an unknown source."

"Well, I believe our mission is clear then."

"We're not avoiding it?"

"We answer the S.O.S. like any other vessel would do. There could still be survivors down there, and they would need our help. Ready the grounding pod!"

[A small team from the crew gathers and makes their way down to the pod, which is readied for detachment as the Warmonger hovers over the planet's atmosphere. The pod releases, and they descend.]

[The pod touches down, steadying and opening its bay doors. Kol walks out first.]

"Huh. This isn't so bad. What was all the fuss about? Extreme weather?"

"Expect it in the long run, Kol. Anything can happen here."

[Commander Vex follows him off. Lyme and Axel step off last.]

"I've got a really bad feeling about this, guys..."

"It's just like every other mission; Stay on your toes, soldiers. It's a long walk to the signal from here."

[the-warmonger-crew]

"Well, Almighty Tallest Purple has been spending an awful lot of time with my department lately. Can't possibly be for work-related reasons, no, I think it's only a matter of time before we confess our undying love for each other; he's totally my type, you know. Tall. Stoic. Purple." -Alphi

"Mmmff-"

[He knows he can't say anything against his Tallest; But oh, how he wants to.]

"Well, I'd fight even the Tallest to earn your hand, love. I'll be home soon, and I'll make up my absence to you in whatever way you desire, I swear it."

[the-warmonger-crew]

Say..It’s not my business but would you ever consider settling down with Alphi Vex? As in having kids? I think you’d make wonderful parents!

"Oh! Well I- I've never.."

"Actually.. I have been out on missions for.. Quite some time now. Perhaps it is time to settle down... Though of course, to have a family, well- that's not my call. I've never imagined us as parents before..."

[the-warmonger-crew]

Kol is very young Lyme, he might not be a child but he hasn’t matured like the rest of you..you don’t have to like him, just try to keep an open mind.

"He shouldn't be in the Irken military, especially not THIS tanker, if he can't be mature. He's going to get someone hurt with his insubordination or immaturity, and he won't ever be able to come back from that."

"You do have a point, Lyme. He does need more training and coaching. How about this; After this last mission, when we head back, I will send him in for more training sessions. You're right, he's clearly not fit to be in the field just yet. We'll let him have this one as a trial run, to see if he shapes up along the way."

"Hm.. I can work with that.."

[the-warmonger-crew]

Hay is a horse girl isn’t she

"Ahem- Alphi is a rider in her spare time, and competes in intergalactic tournaments. She's quite incredible; Otherwise, she's a coder and technician... Also, I wouldn't say horse. Her mount isn't a horse, that's simply an Earth thing."

"No one calls her Hay but me, understood?"

[the-warmonger-crew]

What are your opinions on Zim? I know a lot of Irkens font have much respect for him, and I’m curious what you guys think about him.

"Zim... I haven't heard that name in a while, to tell you the truth. After Zim was sent to Earth, I'd nearly forgotten about him. Zim caused... Tremendous catastrophes towards the Irken military program, so, while I've never met him, I have a bit of a deep-rooted and instinctual hatred for his actions."

"I have a bit more personal experience. He destroyed my entire biology laboratory, and I lost about a dozen scientists and partners in that destruction. I'm not his... Biggest fan. Hm- take my feelings to be like this-- If I ever saw him in person, I'd wringe his little neck and throw him out the nearest airlock."

"Good lord, Lyme. You have more hatred in your cells than anyone on this ship, I'd wager."

"Don't bet on it, sir. Have you spent an hour with Tipp?"

[the-warmonger-crew]

Can you tell us about Kol?

"Kol is what we in the labs refer to as a nuisance."

"He acts like a child; his emotions and attitude are completely out of control and they always have been! When he's upset, he has to make everyone else upset, and he's ALWAYS upset. He's a classic troublemaker and downright jerk. I don't think he's ever actually committed anything to this crew."

"Now now, Lyme..."

"He's not a child, Commander! All due respect, sir, but he's a soldier, and he sure doesn't act like one."

[the-warmonger-crew]

Just going to state i love you all. You are all adorable and i hope to learn all about your lovely crew.

"Thank you... Let's not learn too much, hm? Such a thing could be.. Compromising."

"Commander, always in business."

[the-warmonger-crew]

I quite like your eyes Lyme!! I could get lost in them-they’re quite pretty! You seem a bit tired though...

"Oh, I-I- Thank you, I guess.. No worries about my bags, those have just come with age and withering years of work..."

[the-warmonger-crew]

How tall is everyone? and how old is everyone?

"Everyone on the crew? The entire crew?"

"Well, that would be impossible to list; the crew is quite large... However I believe it'll be easier to list the soldiers on board?"

"Oh, yes.. Well I am 428, and 5'8"."

"I'm 425, and 6'2". Kol is a rookie, only 153, and 5'6". Axel is 5'6" as well, 278. Tipp, they're 364, 5'2". Rikz is 365, 5'5". Nixi is around 245 now, 5'6". Wren... His age, Lyme?"

"150, exactly. And 5'7"."

"Yes. And... I believe that's all."

[the-warmonger-crew]

"Oh, it was easy enough to find you guys! Irk's main tower picked up a new signal stream about an hour ago, which was a breeze to decode. I'd recognize the Warmonger's IP anywhere!" "And you'd BETTER come back soon, or I'm going to have to dump you for one of my long list of admirers ;P" -Alphi

"Well, that might explain a few things. I'll have to check in with Portal later and figure out what's going on."

"I promise, sweetheart, I'll be back before you know it. Now, long list of admirers, you say? Really? Who's been attempting to sweep you off your feet while I am unable to do so?"

[the-warmonger-crew]

Acid? Does it rain acid on the planet your heading to or does it have acid pools? or is there something else going on?

"We have no idea, which is why we need to be prepared for anything that could happen."

[the-warmonger-crew]

Can you tell us more about were you are heading? Or do you not know much more?

"We don't know much about it, only that it's potentially dangerous and is highly unpredictable. There's such a lack of study done on it that at this point the planets existence could be considered rumor."

"Though, it's not rumor."

"No, it's not, I'm just.. Saying, for comparison."

[the-warmonger-crew]

Can you take off your goggles or are they glued there?

"I can, but I prefer not to. It takes away from my whole 'look'."