The 20-Something Wives

We're all in our 20s. We're all wives. These are our stories of young marriages. From advice on how to continue working on your marriage, being a young wife, dealing with friends and family who just don't understand, and simply our personal experiences, we understand the power of marriage and want to share it with you! Keeping Love Alive Date Ideas Advice

[acompletelife]

[the-littlelady]

Success in marriage is much more than finding the right person. It’s a matter of being the right person.

(via the-littlelady)

[myonlysonshine]

Everyone wants a perfect marriage/relationship but most of the time we want our spouse to do all the work. We forget that both need to give 100% in order for it to be fair. We’re all human and have the same feelings and needs, even if we express them differently, and we need to remember that! ! A lot of times it’s about changing our point of view first, before asking someone to change their ways. 
We can’t expect someone to be loving, caring, apologetic, romantic, honest and forgiving if we don’t reciprocate. The Golden Rule always applies, and it can truly be life changing!

[the20somethingwives]

Some advice worth sharing.

[the20somethingwives]

Tonight my husband and I were sitting on the couch with our (almost) 14 month old lounging back between us as we watched tv. We both looked at each other and commented how perfect the moment was and how in a few months we would be adding a newborn cuddling next to us. This is the moment each night that is our paradise. Total relaxation from a busy day.

What is something your partner and you like to do together that’s your kind of paradise?

[the20somethingwives]

Prayers for Brittany

Let's send our prayers and good vibes to one of our wives, brittanynwilliams, who is in the hospital right now, soon to welcome her second child. Go Brittany you can do this!!

[the20somethingwives]

Please tell me that men grow out of their messy/lazy/dirty phase!!! My husband is so messy (& lazy about cleaning up) & it drives me crazy. It only takes a few minutes to do a sink full of dishes. We have had conversation after conversation about him cleaning up more after himself & helping me out more, but it falls on deaf ears. He does good for maybe a day and then it's back to being lazy & messy. I don't know what to do! I just hope that as he gets older, things will improve!

It sounds like your love language might be Acts of Service. Have you ever looked into your Love Language? If not, check it out at http://www.5lovelanguages.com. You guys might be speaking different languages and your husband might not know how important it is to you to have things cleaned up. 

With that being said, offer to see what you can do for him too, so it doesn't feel like you're just nagging him. If you work together and put forward your best self, hopefully you can come to a good happy-medium.

I think in general men tend to be a little messier than women but for me, I also know that I let things bother me more than I should. For example, my husband leaves his socks wherever he takes them off...in the living, in the hallway, etc. It's annoying but I figure it takes more time to constantly nag him about it than to just pick them up myself. Some things I still point out to him and ask him to help but I try not to point out everything...it's just not worth the hassle, in our marriage.

Hope you guys can find common ground!

[alisonnnwonderland-deactivated2]

Whats your secret to keeping your marriage so strong? Do you ever go through phases where things just arent how you want them to be? Any advice on someone feeling like theyre falling out of love with their spouse?

Hey there!

I sat on this question a while. Mostly because I was like…”hmm am I “qualified” to answer this?” Mainly because, I don’t think that there is one perfect couple. I don’t! And I was like snap. I don’t wanna be portrayed as that… So I thought this over and wanted to make it a little long because I really value that someone came to me for advice!

With those things being said, so everyone is aware-I, nor my spouse, are in fact perfect, here’s some things I’ve learned in 5 years of marriage…

1. Respect each other. Just do it. If you wouldn’t say it to a stranger, don’t say it to spouse. Or friend. Or kid. Just don’t. Respect them. Ask yourself if you would want your spouse to say certain things to you? Or about you? Or behind your back? Or spread your business. 2. Next… Keep your private life private. Facebook and everything else is so great for updating. But people don’t need to know when you’re mad because Greg forgot your birthday or Betsy was being a jerk. The way to keep ANY relationship solid (friendship, romantic, otherwise) is go STRAIGHT to the source when you’re mad. Don’t involve others. They can develop a biased opinion and sway you, or become irrational, or cause an issue that wouldn’t even be there. Because only YOU know Greg and Betsy intimately. Not them. 3. Guard your heart. That’s simple. But do it. When things are hard between you and your spouse, turn towards them, not someone else. 4. Don’t stop dating. And flirting. And having fun!5. Marriage is NOT 50/50. We aren’t “50/50” people. I don’t know about you, but somedays I don’t feel 100. I don’t feel like trying with anything. I just feel sad or grumpy or whatever. We all go through different seasons. And that includes you or your spouse. Maybe you’re struggling with depression or you’ve fallen on hard times. Maybe you or your spouse has lost someone.. Maybe you and your spouse have fallen into a rut. When one of you falters, it’s not, I did my part! He’s not doing his!” You pick up the slack. You are each other’s rock for a reason. It doesn’t mean that you’ll both be constantly strong. You’re human. You know each others weaknesses. If you feel something is happening, or your losing interest, or he/she is… Date them! Try! Pick up the slack. Sometimes marriage is hard. Sometimes friendship is. Sometimes LIFE is. You don’t put in “half” and then wait. You pick up the slack when your spouse can’t. Being married is about constantly falling in love over and over. I know a lot of marriages face trials because we fall into ruts. Monday through Friday same ol same ol. same date. Same day. Same same same. But remember, you married that same person for a reason. Date them. Explore life with them. adventure. Picnic. Joke. Laugh. Have fun. Talk passions and fears… And give them the same slack you give yourself.

Sorry if that’s long. I really wanted to give an answer because I feel honored that someone would consider to ask me something so important! Fireproof is also a pretty inspiring movie to watch! :)

[the20somethingwives]

I thought this was some really great advice, especially about picking up the slack when your spouse can't.

[the20somethingwives]

Is there anytime before you got married that you had a point of doubt on whether you were ready to be married. I'm 22 and engaged and while there are times that I am happy and in complete love with my fiance there are other times I feel like I haven't experienced enough of life on my own to be ready to settle down yet. This is only my second serious relationship and my fiance is 27, so he is more ready to settle down as he has had most of his 20s to go out and see the world.

Hi thanks for the question! Ashley here. Personally I can say that I questioned if I was ready to get married but I think that's very normal when you're making such a huge life-changing decision. In terms of exploring the world and traveling and whatnot, the way I see it, if you have a partner to do it with all the better! I've heard so many people say that they need to travel before they get married, but marriage doesn't restrict you from traveling! You can do everything you want when you were single but now you have a consistent person by your side to experience all that with you. Even if it's not traveling...any life experiences I've found for me that it's more fun with my husband. That's how it is for me, but I can't answer for you. Maybe you truly do want to do things by yourself and if you do, that's fine, maybe you can hold off marriage a little longer. I guess that's for you to decide. For me I can say that I've never felt like I missed out an anything because I was married. I always felt like my life was enriched because of it. And I hope that when you get married you feel the same way too!

[the20somethingwives]

Happy Thanksgiving from our families to yours.

[the20somethingwives]

There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.

Tuesdays With Morrie

[amortizing]

Being married someday is going to be so cool. like you get to come home to your best friend every single day and just do life together.

unknown (via amortizing)

[the20somethingwives]

Not saying this is the end all be all, but something to think about. Any questions you think should be added?

[the20somethingwives]

Man down...or woman down

For the past few days I've been sick with a viral infection and it's really sucked. My husband made it all a little easier. I'll be honest, my husband is a mess when it comes to illness. He's a germaphobe and he feels so lost. I remember the first time I ever got sick after we moved in together, I immediately begged him to take me to my moms and he felt so terrible that he couldn't figure out how to take care of me. So now, almost 5 years later, he has gotten a lot better at handling germs, especially with a wife who is sick too often. He kept checking on me, calling from work, running home on his breaks with fluids and medicine and food. He encouraged me to stay home from work and school to get my rest and he stayed home with me on his day off and watched everything on Netflix. He picked up the slack on my end while I was in bed for three days because he's amazing. 

I was thinking about how much we've both grown and how much we need each other as a team, thanks to these passed three days, I've had plenty of time to reflect. If we've learned anything in our time as a married couple it's that we are meant to be a team, that no matter what we'll have each other's backs. It feels good knowing you'll always have your spouse there to back you up or pick up the slack or just be there. I would have to admit that I forgot to sit back and notice how much he was doing for me until I had gotten sick. I have to show him I appreciate him some way. 

Have you shown your SO how much you appreciate them lately? 

[the20somethingwives]

Hey, I'm really glad that I found your blog^^ I'm 23 and engaged. It was arranged by our parents, but we fell in love with each other. Still all my friends worry and think that arranged marriages don't have a good end. What's your opinion about that?

Thank you! I think what’s most important is how you feel. My opinion is that marriage should be defined by the couple involved, not me or your friends, because, after all, it is your life and your relationship. Arranged or not, all successful marriages require time and effort. I wish you and your fiancé lots of happiness ahead.

[the20somethingwives]

Anyone who gets married is out of their minds.

Well, I'm glad for that because it's still the best decision I've made in my life. The secret is that our joy doesn't come from the approval of others.

[the-littlelady]

Marriage is a promise. A vow. To try the hardest you have ever tried in your life. Marriage is a place for the achievement of a personal integrity like no other.

Dr. Margaret Rutherford, Huffington Post (via the-littlelady)

[the20somethingwives]

I love this blog! I just got married today :P I'm 18 and my husband is 20. Never in my life has anything felt so right and I'm so glad that there are other people out there who understand! <3

Thank you! Congratulations on your marriage, we wish you lots of continued happiness.