Actual thoughts?

Welcome to my inner sanctum

[theabominablepuffpastry]

Arbitrary Decemberly challenge thingy #2

Expanse.

Imagine, you are but an empty slate A blank canvas, with a promising fate In your life, everything seems possible The fear of choice, just inescapable 

 A drop of ink paints your world a new shade New information gained, A choice was made. Armed with knowledge, you start to make your way Yet dread still creeps upon you day by day.

You’ll still feel doubt, you’ll still feel incomplete “Am I good enough?” “How can I compete?” “What if it isn’t good?” “Is it okay?” Just steel your will, push on through day by day

In the end, what matters is not your start Just your process, your effort to make art

[theabominablepuffpastry]

Arbitrary Decemberly challenge thing.

Correct, to make art

is often a daunting task 

but one must push on

[theabominablepuffpastry]

Man, emotions.

Ughhh. Sometimes I get too obsessed with an idea or someone that it ends up consuming myself inside. The most recent one is a person. I feel that I have wronged her somehow just from this obsessiveness that I have. I mean, it probably isn’t a big deal but I just wanna say that I’M SO FUCKING SORRY THAT I MADE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE IN SOMEWAY DUE TO MY STARING FOR LIKE FOREVER. I CAN”T EVEN TALK TO YOU IT”S SO BAD MY BRAIN JUST STARTS TO FREEZE. I’M JUST STANDING THERE STARING. IT MIGHT BE A LOT CREEPIN’ and that’s why I feel so bad about it. Maybe that’s the problem. The guilt is just eating me inside and the desire makes the guilt worse. It’s a self feeding circle of pain inside

[theabominablepuffpastry]

I really like you

Are words I can never tell

No matter my state

[theabominablepuffpastry]

Bleh.

What of the puppeteer? Pulling strings for a show While he himself quakes in fear What of the clown? With a painted smile on his face Hiding an eternal frown The puppet says what he wants to hear But not what he feels inside He cries alone, he sheds a tear As he runs and tries to hide The code is cracked The cover is blown Blown up from all the lies The trap is set, the game's begun Don't ask or wonder why. The gear's wound up, he's pulled away By a string on a path to die

[theabominablepuffpastry]

Last week.

Man, last week was weird af. A lot of people got really emotional, and we let out a lot of baggagge , still feeling its effects even now. Well, I don't really know how to deal with emotions, normally preferring to leave it be and just retreat to my shell for a little while. Well, I'm definitely feeling it now being now that I'm just really apathetic most of the time. Sometimes I wish I could open up more to other people, instead of just projecting this image of myself that I want them to see. I've just been so afraid of what they would think so I just stop my train of thought then :/. Maybe it's due to my lack of communication skills, or it could be that I'm just not truly honest to myself or other people. Well, it kinda blows, and I mean I'll walk it off, I normally do, but sometimes I wish I could just explain how I feel to other people without me worrying how they would react. Is it a sign of something bigger? Probably? I don't know. I'm so ridiculously not self-aware I thought I stayed the same after two years here. Ehh, I'll figure it out

[so-pale-girl]

[friendswiththedawn]

Being a percussionist and trying to explain the difference between your instruments: “A marimba is like a xylophone but instead of a dink its a donk”

[heythatgirloverthere-deactivate]

ME EVERY DAY