Lowkey Eating Crayons and Paper

Nothing but Wesker and Memes Also I have a writing blog :] thealwriteytrashdump

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Wesker secretly takes great amateur photographs.

He has his hobbies trust 🙂‍↕️

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Let's be clear:

Albert Wesker FUCKS.

On paper. For the official record. If you ask him? Sure, he has a wife (or maybe a husband) afterall.

Several actually. But no one knows the deeper extent to his secrets.

He has his homestead wife (maybe his real irl wife who knows), he has a wife for public facing events, he has a mistress(es).

He FUCKS.

Except he doesn't. Not actually. He barely sees his wife except maybe a few weeks a quarter.

He just has several contracts in place. Employees if you will.

He has someone taking care of his secret base (they may or may not know what's underneath).

He has some pretty eye candy to hang off his arm in public.

Maybe another wife in another location.

A husband in another. And so on and so forth.

None of these people know his actual name.

None of these people care. It's a job for them.

Take care of this dream property perfect for starting/building a new life? "Sure."

Sign this marriage contract hidden in the starting paperwork? "Sure."

Your boss/husband comes by for a status report and to relax at your "place" for a week or two? "Sure. Whatever man, I'm busy homesteading with chickens and sheep."

"Oh? Who is Wesker? My husband's name is Smith. Sorry you got the wrong property."

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Tw; canonical death, feelings about unaliving

Do you think Wesker was afraid of death?

Like when he was luring S.T.A.R.S. to their doom, do you think he thought that he also was endangered?

I saw a S.T.AR.S. Wesker video of that one trend where the character lying down -possibly dying- with their foils, as like little chibi angels of light, doing a rotation around their head.

Chefs kiss btw, bc that man was struggling to breathe as it was happening and it kinda dawned on me that the way he perished was traumatic. I was thinking about how he probably would've got into shock like almost immediately.

In the UC wesker files, obviously he writes about how he'll never forget how cold death felt and it's like: he actually did do that, didn't he?

He died.

And he had time to go "oh shit" before it happened too. Like that would be so gut wrenching (pun intended).

Now it's possible, in fact- i feel irl it would go like this- that he was also just like super close to death. But that also would be traumatic af. Like imagine having your guts ripped out and you feel every bit of it, the open cavity of your torso, lungs deflating and being like stuck trying to breathe. Drowning in your own blood but also like bleeding out. Like his spine is gone or like forcibly shoved to one side of his body and ripped off.

Feeling so close to the cold reaches of death but then no. He was just stuck trying to exist in that space and breathe as the virus put him back together.

Tbh, i don't even think he knew if he died or not. He felt cold but was he actually dead and brought back. Or was he just like in shock, still dying but like didn't actually. He almost couldn't I guess.

[weskers-stuff]

Albert eyes 🖤🖤🖤.

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I wrote Wesker as having a shit eating grin or like doing his sideways smirk during my fanfiction.

Something like this:

Shit eating grins

And then something like this for his smirks

But imagine if he had an ugly smile.

Like all teeth and gums. And he used that smile very genuinely 🥺 like thats the smile he uses when he is genuinely happy.

[forbiddenmonumentinfiltrator]

this is so so so zeno, no one can tell me otherwise.

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Wesker's hands so dry, he gets hang nails. And he picks em >:)

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Adding onto this. The reason why he has dry hands is bc he washes his hands so much. Its bc he hates it when his hands feel grimy. Like he never lotions his hands bc he has sensory issues with some types of lotion and sometimes the lotion feels like just grease or oil slathered on his hands. Like not only are they still dry af but now its like coating/film that he can feel building up in the crevices of his fingers.

Its sticky, its sweaty, its fucking uncomfortable as fuck.

So he constantly washes his hands and only uses specific approved moisturizers.

Sometimes, he just goes without. Rather have dry af hands than hands feeling grimy and sticky.

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I had a fic request/idea I high key never wrote about what happened to wesker and jill post jumping out a window to save chris.

And i was writing about how even as a God, Wesker was having a grand time fighting the ocean with a half drowned woman clinging to him. How his suit and coat, despite being so light and airy, slowed and dragged him down so much. That when he finally made it to shore, he was also like about to drown.

And I like to think, I power scaled him correctly because, despite all his ego and show of grand godlike power, he was still a mere human.

And the ocean was in an entirely different weight class. A true god if you will.

Anyway, i had lost interest pretty quickly when i had to write the escape back into Spencer's mansion dodging bsaa agents and b.o.w.s alike. Trying to ninja his way around with a drowned rat of a Jill on his shoulder.

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I'm not gonna listen to me either bc I really don't want this to be considered fanon or canon or anything like real.

But I don't think Wesker was great with kids. I don't think he had any special connection with Sherry. I think he personally was not interested in being considered for any babysitting job (sherry gets pawned off to the subordinates or isn't in the lab at all) or participating in any S.T.A.R.S. fields day at the local elementary school (he stays behind at the station while Enrique handles it)

He just plum doesn't like kids, doesn't really want to exist in the same space as kids bc how grimy and gross and yucky kids can be. It's not that he hates kids, he just... has no patience for them.

People can have kids, just way over there away from him. He might find the odd one or two kid(s) he can vibe with, but with the majority of kids, he'd rather go do anything else in the world.

His paternal instincts are profoundly lacking, he can't get kids even if they are his own spawn. If he was in Jake's life, their relationship would be stiff and rocky at best, and at worst, Jake would have worse feelings about his father than he already does in re6.

That being said, its not like he wouldn't care about jake as a father. I bet he would support jake and his mother financially. Maybe come by for the odd visit. But he would be incredibly emotionally distant with jake, maybe less so with his mother, but defo more interesting in jake medically. Eager to monitor jake's health growing up and performing small studies/ bio engineering experiments.

He would've injected either the t virus or the g virus into jake if he had the chance. Anyway, I don't wanna believe it so tell me about how wonderful Wesker was to your kids or whatever.

[morganroot92]

CRAIG VOICES WESKER IN CV?!?!?!???? IM GOING TO DIEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

[mellounir]

Wesker in his lab era really isn't talked about enough

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Wesker is that kind of asshole to have his button shirt like unbuttoned.

God i wanna see him drawn with his lab photo fit. I really want it so badly. I might just do it myself.

[madamewesker]

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You know those quotes saying that the hero would "sacrifice you to save the world" but the villain would "destroy the world to save you"?

Yea, that doesn't work with wesker lmao. That man would sacrifice his lover for a stick of gum if he really wanted that stick of gum.

For him, having creature comforts is a luxury that he can afford to give up. That man has so many grand ambitions. He is the hero of his own story and he would sacrifice his loved ones for the "greater" good.

You know who wouldn't?

Mr. Boulder puncher himself.

Chris has on screen evidence that he doesn't give two fucks about "the world" when his partners are in danger. He would let the world burn for you. He's so badass he'd save you and STILL be able to save the world.

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Wesker's shoulders are so broad because he carries all of his stress on his neck and upper back.

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Wesker would chin scratch a bitch.

Trust me bro :v

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I like to think re8 Chris can still be that guy in re1.

Like kinda funny, kinda cheesy. Very good nature and cracking jokes. Maybe he has his two brain cells days where he just acts so dumb.

And then some days, he just gets so broody and so moody. Mad all the time. And re8 was just one of those days.